Home	Obituary Streaking through clubs. Facial STD infections from middle-aged fuck buddies. Fred from Alaska afraid of the aliens. The Caveman giving advice about drugs a dozen times in a row. The sounds of bong-inhalation and testicle-slapping. And oh so many drunk, stoned, moronic, incoherent, insane, beautiful, breathtaking rants… Citzenship, citizenship, citizenship… What type of freak stays up till Sunday am? 17,000 listeners do, apparently. All good things must end, but why so soon? Even this website came too late. A year's worth of carnie glory lost to the ether. And the future of carnying looks ominous -- Dave will take fewer calls, calls will be screened, and 6pm-10pm is far too early to get properly monted. It began (I think) around the start of 2005. It was a tribute to the human mind in all its unnatural states of consciousness. And at 6am on Sunday 4 December 2005, to the haunting refrain of "Fuck forever" (your mum's fucked forever), the Graveyard Shift passed into history. May it never rest in peace. Saturday 17 December 2005. I originally wrote the above after the last graveyard Graveyard Shift, but the very first caller the following Saturday was drunk and stoned and asked Dave if he wanted a root, and then Bill from Bommo gets up and makes his legendary 18-minute debut. Had to choke on my words. 6pm is not too early to get monted. The freaks come out as soon as the sun sets, and they'll flock to Dave like moths. The circus is in safe hands. The Shift is better than before. Carnie on, people! Saturday 19 January 2008. 5 seconds of Anne. Cock Rock 'o Clock. Callers giggling. What sort of abnormal person stays home each Saturday evening? Quite a few listeners do, apparently. Oh well everything must end. At least no more screened calls. It started (I guess) around early 2006. It was a tribute to the Graveyard Shift which itself was a tribute to the human mind in all its unnatural states of consciousness. And at 9pm on Saturday 19 January 2008, to the ominous tune of "Hungry Like the Wolf" (And I'm hungry like the wolf), Saturday Nights and Pirate Radio passed into antiquity. While it will be shame to lose Dave on Saturday nights, something good is going to come out of this, I can feel it. Saturday 26 January 2008. It's a miracle. The unthinkable has happened. Carnies everywhere can rejoice. The Graveyard Shift has been resurrected. From tonight or technically tomorrow morning Dave will again be presenting The Graveyard Shift. Hallelujah! From the former Graveyard Shift There's mutual masturbation, orgies, bestiality, rock stoner girls, STDs from older women, lesbian dogs, and random people in the background yelling out "He loves the cock", etc.... The Shift doesn't really lend itself to extracts (it has to be experienced first-hand), but here's a smattering of quotes: ***** 13 Nov 2005 2:50:39pm (Daytime shift) "So me and ten of my mates went to his car and pissed in his petrol tank." ***** 06 Nov 2005 2:39:05am (Chris and Declan filling in) "When I watch sausages cooking, I don't know if it's the shape or what, but it just turns me on." ***** 23 Oct 2005 4:26:08am Dave: "There *are* women in the world. You just have to know how to approach them without being a dick." Caller: [long silence] ***** 23 Oct 2005 2:54:20am "Toby came over here, tied my hands together, and put tape on my face. And then we started getting friendly. And then he headbutted me. [Cracks up laughing]" "I wanted to get raped, but I didn't want to get hit in the face." ***** 02 Oct 2005 4:43:20am "Don't smile when the green wizard shits." 02 Oct 2005 4:14:13am "What are you going to do with the rest of your morning apart from smoke crack and pretend to be from Timbuktoo?" 02 Oct 2005 2:13:37am "Friends are dickheads who cock-block you." 02 Oct 2005 1:19:09am Allanah: "What's the one thing you'd like to do before you die?" Dave: "Your mum." ***** 25 Sep: Caveman talks in stunning circles. 25 Sep 2005 5:05:01am "Harry Potter grabbed me throat, so I fucking cracked him in the head." ***** 18 Sep: Fred from Alaska hides in her closet afraid of the aliens. ***** 4 Sep: Some guy can't find his beak (???). Last he saw it it was travelling across the Harbour Bridge. Keeps on talking about how he needs his beak. ***** 14 Aug: Show with Alexandra Nicholas from Fiend Magazine. Monted guy talks about being dead and going down a river in a burning boat and being arrested by the police. Caveman talks about the trouble not being over till John Howard stops touching John Bush's dick. 14 Aug 2005 2:36:16am "Dave looks like the Paddlepop Lion only hotter." ***** This was the first Shift when Dave posted on the forum, though he occasionally reads without posting: From: graveyard dave Time: 17 Jul 2005 1:32:29am Damn carnies and drunks! I wouldn't mind if I had some callers who weren't carnies and are sober. Also why do people ring up to request a song? What do they think I am? I request machine!? From: graveyard dave Time: 17 Jul 2005 2:06:11am I must admit, computers used to and sometimes still do freak me out! ***** Whenever the show started: "Sunday Morning 1-6am Comedian, Dave Callan presents The Graveyard Shift, following Mix Up every Sunday from 1am until the break of dawn. It's a late night talk show guaranteed to to put a chill down your spine - a little bit spooky, and very, very funny! please note: triple j's telephone number has changed. To reach the on-air studio you now need to call 1300 0555 36. Local call costs will apply. Higher from mobile phones."