In the last edition, we covered some basics of True Sloth to get you in the mood. Foreplay, if you will. This time around, we will cover a few general misconceptions concerning laziness.

Myth No. 1: Idle hands do the devil's work

Rebuttal: These can not be true idle hands, obviously, since they appear, from the statement, to be doing someone else's work. Actually, it would seem more like it was the Devil here who had the better grasp of True Sloth. To sum up, idle hands doing work is a contradiction in terms, and if the Devil talks you into doing something that he should be doing to begin with, then you should live in Ouagadougou, not Sharm.

Myth No. 2: A rolling stone gathers no moss

Rebuttal: Who exactly said that it was unpleasant to be covered in moss? Especially in winter? Next.

Myth No. 3: Excessive sunbathing causes skin cancer.

Rebuttal: This is what is normally called an occupational hazard. You sunbathe for a living, and you run the risk of skin cancer, and this is just like a race car driver running the risk of running into a tree. It is part of growing up that we learn to accept the risks of our jobs.  It's a dirty job, but the world needs suntanners.

Myth No. 4: If you don't get a job and work hard, you'll die of hunger.

Rebuttal: True, true. Although you could always marry a rich member of the opposite sex. That way, you could be lazy all day, and just make 15 minutes of effort every night before your partner goes to sleep.

Myth No. 5: Staying in bed for periods exceeding 18 months results in bedsores.

Rebuttal: There's no such thing as a free lunch. True Sloth has its price too.

The amount of negative energy that common society gives off towards laziness is remarkable; I hope that this short guide to the most common preconceptions asissts you, the reader and disciple, in any ideological discourse your faith might put you in. And remember always, that if the arguments against laziness begin to make sense, you can weasel your way out of the argument by sticking your fingers in your ears and chanting “Na na na I can't hear you na na na” in a loud voice, over and over and over. This appears to end most discussions rather effectively.