Quite sick of the over month of interviews with no one hiring me yet. UGH!!!  I suppose I should broaden my horizons... Um no!

While it is getting harder and harder for me to be  picky, with the looming threat of Christmas ... ugh! Ashley's birthday party is tomorrow and I am about as bummed out as can be.  I can't afford to get her any present.  No, all she is getting is a party.  Granted the money that I spend on her party is about as much if not more than she would have gotten had she not had one.   I still feel as if I am failing her but she doesn't know that. 

I know this is a good lesson for her. We aren't made of money and she can't have every thing she wants.  Needs to learn that now.  Mathew is pissed cause this is about the 3rd party she has had and he hasn't had one.  He hasn't asked and isn't willing to give up gifts.  Ashley figures she will get alot more from her friends than she would from us.  Oh well.

Now the latest and most annoying fact has met my attention.  A gal in the photo lab that I truely like is leaving and going back up north where she has a house to be by her ex- whatever.  ok!! I found out that just about everyone in the lab now is part time and he is definately hurting for people.  When she mentioned this I said ... mmm maybe I should re apply.  He came around the corner with a grin on.  ugh!!

Still fresh in my memory is how it was there.  IT wasn't at all the hell of cashiering, And it wasn't nearly as boring as the eye shop was.  I miss dealing with peoples pictures chatting with people and above all the money!! I loved that job it was the morons that I worked with that sucked. Barry mentioned to me how fast christmas is coming and if I am not working there will be none.  We are scrapping bye just barely and are back in the rut of the payday loans again.  I don't know what to do I am at such a loss.

I can go to Ken when he is working.  Approach it as if I don't need the job, I'll come back to you but I can only work week days, and no later than 6. That should not be a problem as he has about 4 people who work full time 8 to 5 jobs else where.

Interviews... well they suck BIG time! Tell me about a time when you felt threatened what did you do ... How well do you operate under pressure. Look lady/idiot/man... Have you seen WM at Christmas... what do you think.  How do you deal with everyone getting mad at you cause the computers aren't working.  How do you deal with a boss that talks down to you ..... 

Explosion here.... What do you people think I have a bachelor degree... I have stick to it ness... I have moved alot but I am over that.  I have been here 5 years longer than anywhere else!!! But no... I can't file or answer a phone or use a computer... For *** I design on a computer I spend more time on computers than I do in front of the tv, and I am a tv holic.  OK... oh and btw, if I didn't think I could do this and more I wouldn't have applied. UGH!!   I am applying for state jobs that can take over 2 months  to get an answer. ...

I DON'T WANT TO WORK FOR WM MY WHOLE LIFE. I feel like such a loser.  I feel like a moron ... oh you were #3 choice. mmm didn't get me the job. Give me a chance I am experience and smart and can do anythign.  I just want a chance.  I don't want to go back to WM I don't wanta and you can't make me.... Alais I may have to. What is the guarantee that they will even take me back??

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA can my ego take it if they don't?  Will I end up back at Hardees? or BK?  The gas to get there will be the whole pay check.

help me...

Mood today I am too fat for more chocolate. ugh