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Gambling with the Gods

The festival was in full-swing when a travel-weary Hercules and Iolaus arrived. The village square was buzzing with noise and activity as performers, stall-holders and villagers bustled merrily around.

"Looks like the party started without us." Iolaus commented ruefully. "I hope we haven't missed too much fun."

Hercules smiled down at his tired friend. "Are you hungry, Iolaus?" he asked. Seeing the amused glint in Iolaus'' eyes he sighed, "I know, I know - stupid question! Let's go and see if any of these stalls have anything edible for sale."

They both turned, scanning the square, looking for a food stall that didn't look too dubious.

"If you don't recognise it, don't eat it." Hercules recited out loud, remembering one of Cheiron's more useful lessons.

Having successfully braved the dangers of market stall food, Hercules was happily munching his lamb souvlaki whilst nervously eyeing up Iolaus' food selection 'mystery meat pie'. His friend seemed to be enjoying it though, digging in with enthusiasm, gravy running down his chin.

"Herc you've got to learn to be more adventurous. Try new stuff and all that." Iolaus remonstrated with him. "Here try some pie."

Hercules was desperately trying to come up with a way out of eating the proffered pastry when a young, female acolyte from Aretmis' temple tripped over the outstretched leg of a mischievous village lad. Crying out in surprise the young woman stumbled, falling into the arms of Iolaus, knocking him to the ground and spilling gravy all over his second-best vest.

"Hey, that wasn't very funny!" Hercules shouted angrily. He started after the boy who was laughing gleefully as he ran off.

"Don't worry about it Herc." Iolaus called after him. "I'm kind of enjoying myself here!" Hercules looked back down at his fallen comrade surprised to see Iolaus grinning from ear to ear. Iolaus had ended up on the floor with the flustered acolyte lying on top of him. Iolaus was apparently trying to help her up as she apologised over and over. Hercules couldn't help but notice how many interesting places Iolaus' hands ended up in as he 'helped' the woman untangle herself.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." the acolyte - who was of course blonde and beautiful Hercules noted wryly - gabbled in embarrassment as she pulled herself together. She stood up, rearranging her robes around her. "Oh you've got gravy all over your clothes, I'm ever so sorry," she continued.

"No need to apologise." Iolaus interjected. "There's no real harm done and there's definitely worse things in this world than ending up in the arms of such a beautiful young lady. I'm Iolaus." He grinned, turning on the patented charm full-beam, almost blinding Hercules, who was stood next to the girl helping her to brush mud from her robes.

For once though the world renowned smile didn't work. Blushing furiously the girl blurted out that her name was Erina and apologised a final time before scurrying off.

Hercules had to laugh at the crest-fallen expression on his companion's face. "That's one woman who isn't going to fall for your corny one-liners." Seeing Iolaus' confusion he continued, "Didn't you see the symbols on her robe? She's an acolyte of Artemis, sworn to live in chastity and all that."

"What a waste." Iolaus groaned, gazing wistfully after her.

In a shimmer of golden sparkles a small boy materialised, laughing loudly.

"Was that an amazing performance, or what?" he crowed in the mischievous voice of Hermes. The air shimmered again as the child transformed into the familiar form of the herald-god. "Hercules is always tricky to fool and he never suspected a thing!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say feather-boy." Aphrodite said distractedly, turning her attention back to the scrying pool she had been staring into.

"Now, now sister dearest." Hermes reprimanded. "You're not having second thoughts about our little wager are you?"

"It's too late to back out now, sis." Artemis added "And it looks like the dinars are as good as mine."

"Hey, we've hardly started yet. Give Iolaus a bit of time to work his magic!" Aphrodite rejoined.

"So, what have we here then?" Ares appeared, accompanied by a rumble of thunder and evil laughter.

"For Zeus' sake Ares. Who are you trying to impress with the big entrance?" Artemis admonished.

"Sorry little sis, but I've got appearances to keep up. So what's got you all so fascinated then?" He asked peering over their shoulders at the scene unfolding in the scrying pool. "Little Mr Courageous! I should have known. I fail to see what it is about him that's got you lot so pathetically intrigued. Its undignified to have so many gods obsessing over one little mortal."

"We have a small wager going." Hermes explained. "Aphrodite was just saying how nothing in a skirt could resist the charms of blonde and bodacious down there."

"And I told her she was being ridiculous." Artemis added. "There isn't any man who could lure one of my acolytes away from their duties to me."

"I couldn't help but overhear and felt obliged to offer my services as bookmaker, so here we are." Hermes finished.

"Can I put a bet on?" Ares asked. "I'm with Artemis on this one. I don't see why Aphrodite thinks women find him so attractive. He's blonde, bland and boring!"

"I think you mean brave, bubbly and bodacious, bro."

"Like you, you mean? Dream on Ares!" Artemis interrupted. There was a pause as everyone everyone stared at her. Artemis blushed realising she had somehow ended up on the wrong side of the argument. "I didn't say he wasn't cute!" she protested, "I just said that he wasn't irresistible and right now Erina seems to be resisting perfectly well." They all returned their gaze to the pool...

Hercules and Iolaus were having a great time at the festival. Going from stall to stall, eating here, chatting there and watching the street performers ply their trade. From their lofty viewpoint the gods were able to observe how Iolaus' seemingly random path through the festivities never took him far from where Erina was scurrying back and forth carrying out chores and temple duties. Iolaus gazed frequently in her direction, but to no avail. Erina merely smiled politely back and hurried on with her tasks.

"I definitely think Shorty's met his match this time." Ares grinned. "Come on, let me put some dinars on the wench."

"No way Ares. You can't bet once the horses are running." Hermes stated. "You'll just have to spectate on this one."

"This is getting boring." Ares complained. "We need some more action."

"That's not likely to happen." Artemis grinned "Iolaus is not going to get anywhere."

"Ahem, I'm just going to powder my nose." Aphrodite announced suddenly as she disappeared in her trademark cloud of golden sparkles.

"Where's she off to?" Artemis wondered.

"She's probably gone to sulk. She always was a bad loser and I'd say you've got this one in the bag."

"Yeah, Ares is right. I've won this fair and square, Hermes. When do I get my winnings?"

"Not so fast my impatient one." Hermes admonished. You know the rules we agreed on. Iolaus has got 'til sunset before the bet's over."

"Oh come on, look! There's no way Erina's suddenly going to change from a lifetime of dedication to me. Aphrodite's admitted defeat."

"The rules are the rules Artemis." Hermes stated with finality.

"Iolaus, will you give it up?" Hercules sighed in exasperation.

"Give what up?" Iolaus asked with his best innocent expression plastered across his face.

"Following her around like a little puppy. Its embarrassing."

"Oh come on Herc, you can't blame a guy for trying."

"Well, I might not but Artemis might have something to say about you trying to lure away one of her dedicated acolytes."

"Don't be ridiculous Herc. Artemis is as sensible and reasonable as gods get."

"Tell that to Acteon."

"I thought it might have slipped your mind." Hercules said wryly."

Up on Olympus Artemis blushed prettily under the gaze of her fellow gods.

"They'll never let me forget that one will they?" She asked despairingly.

"Well turning someone into a stag and having him ripped to pieces by his own dogs is kind of memorable." Hermes pointed out.

"Even I was impressed by that one." Ares added.

"Look, I admit it. I over-reacted." Artemis retorted defensively. "But he caught me on a bad hair day..." She broke off looking into the scrying pool. "Hang on a minute, that's Aphrodite! What's she doing down there!?"

The gods returned their gaze to the pool, watching in fascination as events unfolded before them. Invisible to everyone but the gods up in Olympus Aphrodite was wending her way though the festival crowds, making a bee-line for Erina. Timing it to perfection, Aphrodite reached into her skimpy costume and produced a pouch of love dust sprinkling the contents over the acolyte - just as Erina looked up into the eyes of Iolaus who was lingering at the opposite stall.

"That should make things more interesting." Aphrodite grinned as she rematerialised by the scrying pool."

"You CHEATED!" Artemis practically shrieked, beside herself with rage. "That's not fair. Hermes, do something, she broke the rules!!"

"Actually," Hermes smirked "there's nothing in the rules about cheating. We agreed that no more bets would be placed once the 'horses' were running. We agreed that Iolaus had til sunset to work his magic and we agreed that all bets were off if any of the participants got dented in any way, but there were no rules about using a bit of initiative."

"That's not the point, she cheated!" Ares, tell them."

Ares nearly fell off his perch by the pool in astonishment."You're asking me about fair play?" he gasped, nearly choking with laughter.

"Well if she's going to cheat, so am I!" Artemis huffed and vanished from sight.

"She's way too uptight." Aphrodite commented ruefully. "All that bad karma. Oh well, this should be interesting..." All eyes returned to the scrying pool.

Iolaus looked so dispirited that Hercules was beginning to regret mentioning Acteon.

"Come on Iolaus, there's always more fish in the sea."

"In my case the fish'll probably turn out to be a sea monster." Iolaus responded ruefully. He then broke off, yelping in surprise as Erina suddenly leaped on him, devouring his lips in a long, lingering kiss.

Hercules was rendered speechless. Iolaus didn't fare much better, only managing a semi-coherant "Wow," as Erina finally surfaced for air.

"Oh, Iolaus" she gushed. "I'm sooo sorry I was short with you before. Please can we start over again?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." Iolaus croaked, desperately trying to pull his thoughts back from where they had run off to.

"Um, what about Artemis? Won't she be a bit peeved about your change of heart?" he asked, peering around worriedly, expecting to be transformed into something small and furry at any moment.

"Oh, don't be silly Iolaus!" She replied "Artemis is perfectly reasonable. I'll just go to the temple and explain that I've had a change of heart."

"Uh, are you sure about this Erina?" Iolaus gulped. "Its a big decision to make all at once."

"Iolaus, you are the light of my life" Erina replied, losing herself in his eyes all over again. Now I'm off to the temple. I won't be long, so don't go anywhere my love."

"Oh, I'll be here." Iolaus beamed back at Erina as she hurried off."See Herc. No woman can resist my charms. This festival looks like its going to be one of the best ever!"

Are you sure this is a good idea?" Hercules fretted as they waited for Erina to return.

"She's a grown woman Herc, she can make her own decisions. If she's decided she can't live resist my handsome charm and winning ways who am I to argue?"

"You forgot to mention your unfailing modesty." "Hah! You're just jealous." There was a pause, Hercules could tell that Iolaus was thinking, he could practically see the smoke coming out of his friend's ears.

"I should get her a present. " Iolaus announced suddenly, determinedly looking around for ideas. His gaze stopped, fixed on a nearby flower stall. "Flowers! She'll love flowers." he decided and jogged off through the crowds. Hercules followed with a heartfelt sigh. Unseen by anyone mortal Artemis also followed, waiting for her chance.

"How much are the flowers?" Iolaus asked the stall keeper as he dug frantically in his money pouch.

"That depends on which type of flowers sir requires."

"I don't mind which type, as long as they're pretty."

"All of my flowers are pretty sir."

"Oh for Zeus' sake! How about some of these pink ones here?"

"A very good choice sir. How would sir like his flowers arranged?" The stall-keeper enquired.

"What! How many ways can you arrange flowers?" Iolaus looked up from his money pouch and saw Erina heading back towards him. "Oh Styx! I'll just take them as they are." he muttered tossing down a handful of dinars and grabbing the flowers - vase, water and all.

* * * * *

Artemis was the goddess of the hunt, she knew when to wait and when to strike. Now, at last, she saw her opportunity and went for it. Iolaus never had a chance....

* * * * *

Iolaus was walking towards Erina, his hands full of flowers when an invisible hand pushed him in the back. He stumbled forward trying to keep his balance but then tripped over an invisible leg. The flowers, vase and a large quantity of water all ended up all over the ex-acolyte.

"Oh good move!" Ares approved.

"So Erina's soaked, what good will that do Artemis?" Aphrodite wondered.

I think you'll find that the water's washed off all your love dust." Ares pointed out.

As they watched, the horrified Iolaus ran towards Erina, apologising for all he was worth. He expected her to be a bit upset but the left-hand upper cut that slammed into his jaw caught him totally by surprise.

"You put a spell on me! You made me fall in love with you and you were going to take advantage of me while I was bewitched!! How could you?!" She made as if to hit Iolaus again when Hercules stepped in to defend his stunned companion. He desperately tried to soothe the hysterical woman whilst brushing off some of the flowers and leaves stuck to her dress. Suddenly Hercules felt a sharp pain in his chest. Surprised he looked up to see Erina gazing at him in equal confusion. Hercules realised that he'd never noticed how beautiful Erina's eyes were before now. He gazed into their depths as Erina gazed right back.

"How about we go somewhere private and get you dried off." he whispered huskily.

Erina nodded in mute agreement as Hercules swept her up in his arms and strode off to the nearest inn. Iolaus, incapable of speech, stared after them in complete and total astonishment.

"Well, did that sort things out or what?" Artemis gloated as she rematerialised back on Olympus. Then she realised that no one was paying her any attention. Her fellow gods were all staring slack-jawed at the scrying pool.

"What? I wiped the love dust off Erina didn't I? I won the bet!"

"Nope" Ares corrected, once he'd got his voice back. "Have a good look. Your devoted little acolyte's just gone off for a bit of nookie with our virtuous half-brother. I never thought Hercules had it in him."

"So I've won the bet." Aphrodite declared triumphantly.

"Actually," Hermes interrupted with a shark-like smile. "I think you'll find that neither of you have won anything. Aphrodite bet that Iolaus would be able to charm Erina - which he didn't. And Artemis bet that no man could persuade Erina to break her vow of celibacy - which I believe she's about to do...I therefore declare the bet null and void and I get to keep the dinars!" and with that Hermes shot off, his feathered sandals fluttering furiously as he put as much distance as he could between himself and the enraged goddesses.

Back at the festival, unnoticed by anyone Cupid chuckled to himself, picking up the fallen arrows that he had shot Erina and Hercules with. He'd have to get a move on. If he didn't hurry and find Hermes soon the herald god would have squandered all of his new found wealth. Cupid was determined to claim his share of the profits gained from Hermes little scheme. He had to give the god of thieves his due, he was one cunning and sneaky little deity but he wouldn't want to be in his shoes if Artemis or Aphrodite ever caught up with him....

THE END

Disclaimer

All the stories on this site are fanfiction. No infringement upon the copyrights held by MCA, Universal Studios, Renaissance Pictures or any other person or group involved with the making of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys is intended. This is purely for fun to keep me entertained and give me something to do of an evening. No profit has been made.

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