*Welcome to RAW IS JERICHO! And I'm standing here at the famed BEAVER stadium at on Penn. State University campus. And even though BEAVER stadium was obviously named after a filthy, disgusting woman, the great sport of football has never embarrassed itself the way that the World Wrestling Federation has embarrassed itself and allowed a woman, you, Chyna, to be the Intercontinental Champion. Well, if you got any balls at all, and judging by the way you look, you've probably got two huge ones, you'll hand over your Intercontinental Championship belt to me at Survivor Series and save yourself from a horiffic, horrible beating at the hands of Y2J, touts!
*You know, Big Show, you don't have to worry about not having a father anymore, because, tonight, I AM YOUR DADDY!
*Announcing the contestants for the Cruiserweight title from WCW Slamboree 1998.
*And now, for the first time in WWF history, you have a man who can entertain you, you have a man who is good enough for you, you have a man who can make you jump up off your chairs, raise your filthy, fat, little hands in the air, and scream "GO JERICHO GO! GO JERICHO GO! GO JERICHO GO!" Thank you!
*Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Right now is the greatest moment of life! And after all that's happened, I realized one thing about all you people, YOU LIKE ME! YOU REALLY REALLY LIKE ME! Hey! You don't want to be booing for me. Don't boo me! Don't you boo me! Alright! Lemme give you a reason to boo! C'mon! Boo! C'mon and boo! Just boo!
*I was just listening to your list of problems and grievences that you have with all JERICHOholics and I have a solution, and that solution is to SHUT THE HELL UP!
*Now why do I owe you a thousand dollars?!
*You know what, young boy?! I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You committed a cardinal sin in this business when you went in my bag when I wasn't around. You took my mask, you took my belt, you took my tights, and I'll tell you something else, my loverboy tape is missing as well. And as far as what happened to Dean Malenko, I'm sorry! It will never eeeggghhhver happen again! But the way I see it, you owe me one thousand dollars because that gear that you wore... I can't wear it anymore, I can't get the smell out! You owe me one thousand dollars, sir. And I want you to let me have it! Right here! Right now!
*First of all Skiavone, you address me by my proper name, Lionheart Chris Jericho, the Man of a Thousand and Four Holds, Lord and Master of all JERICHOholics Across the Globe!
*Second of all, you make sure none of these raving JERICHOholics try and run in the ring and touch me okay? You make sure that Doug Dillinger and those securities keep an eye on that!
*III AAAM THEEE CHAAAMPIOOON, MEAAAN GEEENE!
*But you can trust me when I say IT WILL NEVER EEEGGGHHHVER HAPPEN AGAIN! THANK YOU!
*GIVE ME MY BELT, BABY!
*And Prince Nakamaki, you have the audacity to sign a match against me at Spring Stampede?! What have you ever done to get a title shot?! You don't even own a pair of wrestling boots!
*You're not the only guy from the streets, brotha! I grew up on the mean streets of Calgary, Alberta Canada!
*You know what? I'm feeling pretty good tonight, Tony. I got a little extra jump in my steps, I've been runnin' on the beach, I've been pumpin' weights!
*You will never EVER win my cruiserweight belt from me, thank you!
*And a lot of people have been asking "What's up with Rey Mysterio Jr.'s knee?" "What's up with Juventud Guerrera's mask?" "What's up with the deflation of Dean Malenko?" Well, unfortunately, sometimes in this business, faces get slapped and feelings get hurt!
*You know Dean, you let a lot of people down, A LOT OF PEOPLE including myself down when you quit and went home after losing your match to me!
*I am gonna be, known for generations to come, not as an icon, not as a legend, but as a legacy. Yeah, a legacy! My mama's gonna be so proud of me!
*You know what, Tony? Not only am I Chris Jericho, the Man Of a Thousand and Four Holds, I'm also Chris Jericho, the Collector Of Trophies!
*It will never-NEVER eeeggghhhver-EEEEEGGGHHHVER happen again! Thank you very much!
*Being a role model for all you people is one of the greatest thing I've ever accomplished in my life and I take it very, very seriously!
*Everybody have fun tonight! Everybody WANG CHUNG TONIGHT!
*Cause you can stop rock 'n roll and you can stop Chris Jericho either!
*I know you're diggin' the Mahi Mahi!
*People! Listen to me when I talk to you!
*Welcome to RAW IS JERICHO!
*The Ayatolla of ROCK 'N ROLLA!

GO JERICHO GO! GO JERICHO GO! GO JERICHO GO!