What¡¯s not meant to be¡­?

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Oh noooooo, not another Soul Calibur fanfic¡­
Seems that I REALLY like writing about them, huh? ^.^
I¡¯ve got this strange ability to be able to understand game characters quite deeply,
especially for Soul Calibur¡¯s Maxi, Kilik and Seigfried;
Street Fighter 3¡¯s Yun & Yang, Remy, and a few others.
Problem is that I can¡¯t express that well¡­ ~_~
Please bear with me! Doomo!
PS: This is a shonen ai fic.
But hey, it¡¯s safe for anti-yaoi people, all right?
Here goes:
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I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt.
I could not believe that it had happened.

Looking at the soiled bed-sheets,
I felt a short rage of panic rush through my blood.
Too late.

I found out too late.
Kilik laid there, naked and beautiful.
What have I done?
***

I had been loving Kilik for five years.
I knew this love cannot be.
It would never be.
Never survive.
Instead, it would be mocked at, tormented by many.
Homosexuality has never gained acceptance by anyone, anything.

I had never actually forced myself to love him.
It just came; WHAM hit me right at the heart.
The strong urge I felt everytime I see him.
That urge to hold him there and then.
To kiss him and to take him away with me.
To hear him call my name like a lover would
To caress me and love me as much as I do to him.

My love is strong, much stronger to withstand anything hurled in our direction.
But Kilik himself is not like me.
He despised gays.

He treated me like a friend, a wonderful companion; a comfort in his life.
He trusted me.

So I hid this awful secret,
bottled it up and stored it at the base of my heart like uneaten food in the fridge.
Never did I expect it to grow, and swell, the feeling much much stronger...
So overwhelming was that sense of love¡­
But no.
This love wasn¡¯t meant to be.

¡°Never give up! Ganbatte!¡± He would say.
Hn, this time, I have no choice, Kilik.

My thoughts whirled back to my bedroom, with him still sleeping soundly on my bed.
Soft brown locks of hair spilled onto the pillow,
his perspiration slowly ventilating into the air, giving it a sweet smell.
With slightly tanned skin, and a handsome face; along with a beautiful frame,
I was not surprised I could not purge the yearning to just take him there and then.

But the regret soared through me, like  deadly poison,
eating its way to my heart; then devouring all of me,
making my body an empty shell, only my soul trapped within it;
struggling, pleading to be set free from this nightmare.

I reached out to caress his face once more, to utter his name on my parched lips,
to hold him in desperate longing, to touch him,
and to wish he would do the same.
I can feel my cheeks growing wet, as little salty beads of tears trickled down.

This is the first time I cried in eight years, since my parents left me.

A droplet fell onto Kilik¡¯s cheek, stirring him a little.
¡°Maxi?¡± He moaned softly; rubbing his lethargic eyes.

¡°Kilik, I¡¯m sorry. Sorry¡­¡±
Unable to withstand the tremor of emotions within me, I sobbed.

¡°Sorry!¡± I wished so hard I could turn back time, to forget about his existence,
to cherish him as a friend only,
even to end my own life before he would have to bear with such torture!

Kilik slowly realized what had happened.
He vaguely remembered both of us watching an RA show,
then him feeling a little fuzzy.

¡°Maxi,¡± He began, voice shaky from shock.
¡°Did you do what I think you did?¡±

I could only nod numbly.

¡°Why?¡±
¡°I¡­I love you.¡±

His eyes became glassy.
¡°Then why did you betray me? Is that what love is to you?¡±

¡°No. I couldn¡¯t control myself¡­I¡¯m sorry.¡±
¡°How long have you been like this?¡±

A long pause.

¡°Five years.¡±

His hands shielded his face, shoulders shaking as he half-sobbed, half-giggled.
¡°So, you had been betraying me for five years!¡±

Again, I could only nod.

¡°And to think I trusted you all these five years!¡±
Pulling on his clothes, he paused to turn around to look at me,
then gave me a resounding slap across my left cheek.

¡°I¡¯ll never come back.¡± He answered my questioning look.
¡°I¡¯ll be very lonely then.¡± I uttered softly.

By the time I looked up, he was gone.
I could only catch a glimpse of his long brown hair.
***

¡°So once I leave you¡¯ll just be lonely? Is that what our friendship¡¯s worth?¡±
Kilik laughed bitterly, then he broke down to tears.

¡°Maxi, you fool. I love you too.¡±


~Owari~
Notes:
Kilik was disappointed with Maxi because love to him is like this:
If you love me, don¡¯t let me go.

But Maxi, however, love to him is like this:
I love you enough to let you go.
Wakarimasu? >D