here ya go.... the abridged low down on how to blow your load more than any one man has ever done...

  1. Prepare yourself for fun: first things first... you need to find someone willing to help you in your quest... i suggest jennifer lopez... then you have to clone her 16 times... so build yourself a cloning ray... and blast her...
  2. Now mentally prepare: lucky you.... you now have 17 jennifer lopezes... cage them up so they can't run... keep them fed and happy... tell them some jokes and show your intelligence... this will ensure you that maybe just maybe all of them will participate... then study some zen shit or something... you need to be in the right mindset for such activity... you can't go into this venture like the old you... stupid...
  3. Start the countdown: ok... you have your willing participants... you are in the right frame of mind... drink a case of ginseng tea and eat some yohimbe root... this will keep you physically into it... take some no-doz too... you can't treat this as a usual nightly conquest... get off then sleep... you are on a mission... a mission of good will... now set your stop watch and get going...
  4. Nourishment: ok... you did it... with time to spare... atta boy... odds are you are sore and you lost many valuable nutrients in the process... drink some gatorade... light 18 cigarettes... make that 20... you could use 3... tell all the jennifers they were great... tell them you will call them tomorrow... then tell them you need to get ready for work and send them on their way... now get some sleep....