August 19, 2001

Jackass of the week goes to....

Marilyn Manson

marilyn manson... marilyn manson... where do i begin?... i really like manson... his music is alright... he does what he wants... expresses his mind and dresses like a freakish woman... and granted it is all done for shock's sake... i still don't mind it... i'm a big proponant of freedom of speech and expression... and for all those goofs that blame his music on suicides and school shootings, i say look at yourself and spend more time with your kids than wasting it protesting manson... now with that said....

this past week manson was arrested for lude conduct and 1 offense of aggravated assault... lude conduct? you say... nothing new for manson except this time he, and i quote from the chicago sun times, "masturbated on stage with a security guard"... now this doesn't mean him and the security guard engaged in a furious whack off race to see who could finish the deed first... it means that manson wrapped his leg around the guard's head and thrust himself towards the security guard's face... how erotic.... yuk....

i don't blame the guard for one minute... i'm sure he was sitting at home the previous day and got a call..."hey jim... bob called in sick for tomorrow and we need a guy to stand up on stage." "who's stage do i have to stand on?" "marilyn manson's" "oh god.... well i guess so. what's the worst that could happen?"... well i'll tell ya what the worst is... manson could rub his sweaty crotch in your face in a vain attempt at getting off... dear god... the nightmares....

i hope the guard sues for damages too.... can you imagine the therapy that is going to be required for such a thing? yuck... ugh..... i can't even imagine trying to relive that activity... i shudder at the mere idea of such a thing... i'm speechless....

so to marilyn manson.... huzzah... JACKASS!!!!!