Planet of the Apes

I've always had a fear that super intelligent space monkeys will one day rule the world... is Tim Burton's new vision of a sci-fi classic a fun movie or a chilling prediction of the near future?

Get your hands off of me you damn dirty hobo... i have to say it almost every day... and that phrase would never even be in my vocab if it wasn't for the first planet of the apes starring chuck heston... now, when i sit on my throne throwing around orders and passing judgements a day never passes without me saying, "bring me the spaceman".... tim burton's new planet of the apes is not a remake... it is a total revision.... ya know when you take your glasses off of your face and smash em with a hammer... the view through them is slightly skewed... it is hardly the same... and the funny thing is i think burton wears really, really thick glasses... planet of the apes is a delicious film tantalizing every inch of your mental pallet... did i just say all that? gay....

like other classic burton films, batman, sleepy hallow, nightmare before christmas and mars attacks! (ah hem) apes is a dark vision.... a world of wacky apes smoking hukas and drinking jail cell wine made in a toilet (i assume)... the ape village is a sophisticated display of simplicity... a modern day dichotomy, if you will... i'm feeling deeper than atlantis while i write this... the apes aren't just men with ape masks... they still retain ape qualities, like their grunts, squeels and tree swinging abilities... how cool...

Mark Wahlberg is good... he doesn't ruin the movie... thank god... anyone that would put out a record called "good vibrations" and dance in his underwear, i have to question their artistic integrity... the only really desturbing thing i saw in the movie is marky mark's character has more sexual tension with a female ape than the stunning estella warren who wears some kind of skimpy loincloth garb.... mmmmmmm....

when all is said and done... the origin of the planet is revealed... the ending is thrown at ya... apes is awesome... easily the best movie of the summer...

4 stars out of 5