Jurassic Park III

The summer is here, so that means: "Bad Action Movies", and Jurassic Park III does not disappoint.

Man was i hyped when i saw the previews for jp 3... i loved the first one... even though the acting was stiff and jeff goldblum is easily one of the most irritating people on the face of the earth... i missed the second one cuz i heard it was awful... then that brings us all to the 3rd installment...

No speilberg, no hot chics (tea leoni? maybe) and not enough carnage... i longed for people getting eaten by raptors... doesn't happen... i wanted to see a t-rex tear through the jungle, kick ass then do a musical number... doesn't happen... all i get is some stupid looking pteranadons acting like giant eagles (note to whoever is in charge of jp4: eagles aren't scarey) and a humongous "ultrasaur" thingy that has a problem with cell phones (kinda like me)... even though it kills a t-rex it still isn't that menacing...

Next there is a kid that survived on an island inhabited by crazy F'in dinos for 8 weeks without being killed... ummmmm.... ok.... i can't go two days without a twix bar... and i'm scared to death to walk through a traveling carnival... seeing as i am an accurate depiction of a gifted individual (ah hem) there is no way this kid can compete with carnivorous raptors who can now talk... it took em long enough... i started talking long before my 8th birthday... stupid animals... and he is what brings us to the island again...

all in all, if you like stupid movies with awesome special effects (basically if you liked the last Star Wars movie... actually did anyone like that other than George Lucas?)then JP 3 is for you...

2 stars out of 5