The Others
This world we live in is a creepy place, but it could be worse. You could be dead.
Ever since i was a bright eyed, horny, pubescent teenager
watching the scene over and over again in the movie "dead calm"
where nicole kidman gets naked, i've been a big fan of the porcelain skinned
goddess... i even liked "eyes wide shut".... and even though there
is an obvioius lack of the newly divorced (hell yeah.... now she might return
my calls) kidman's naked body, the others is good... but it wouldn't have
killed em to show a little t & a... would it?
kidman, or as i like to call her... nicole, plays a post
WWI mother of two whose husband went off to fight in the war... she is stuck
raising her kids, who have a crazy light allergy, in a haunted house.... or
is it? she has new house keepers and new found fears as she hears voices and
bumps in the night... oh... i tingle with suspense....
in the tradition of M. Night Shaymalan, director/writer of
6th Sense and Unbreakable, the others leads you up to the end then drops the
bomb on ya... duck and cover cuz this one is pretty damn good... not totally
unpredictable... but i'm a super genius.... *clap* *clap*.... *cough* *cough*.....
this movie has alot to stir emotions in ya.... ghosts, constant
talk of damnation and bible readings, a few jumpy moments and a mute girl...
those mutes are damn cute... hey that rhymed.... and you know it did.... but
most importantly it has nicole kidman... not to sound obsessed or anything,
but she is mmmm mmmm delicious.... despite it's short comings (lack of nudies
(oh geez get off it already) and few really scarey parts) the others is a
terrific movie that has you on the edge of your chair unless you are watching
it at the drive in then it has you making out in the back seat with your girlfriend
while both of you think about how hot nicole kidman is... oh don't tell me
you aren't curious.....
4 stars out of 5
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
3 days, 2 stoners, 1 movie and a cast of thousands. Not to mention 1.3
million dick, fart and gay jokes... there is a God.
I'm going to admit something to everyone... i have a different sense of
humor... i find some things absolutely hilarious when others just look at me
with a disturbed glance... and i was pleased when i sat in a theater and others
laughed at the same stuff i did.... whew.... that's a load off... i thought
i might be "special" or something...
jay and bob is written and directed by one of my personal heroes... kevin
smith... for the uneducated, he also wrote and directed clerks, mallrats, chasing
amy and dogma... and if you ever saw any of those movies you know smith's writing
style... intelligent, funny, foul mouthed dialogue driven scripts... and jay
doesn't upset that trend...
smith uses this movie to end all of the characters that have been running
through out his other movies... so that means he brings back actors like chris
rock, matt damon, ben affleck and george carlin... to name a few... and also
has mark hammil (luke skywalker himself) and princess leia (carrie fisher herself)...
the cast is enormous... the dialogue hilarious and raunchy... the movie is a
giant self depricating look at all of smith's previous work... it also takes
plenty of pot shots at hollywood and the internet geeks...
this also might be the only movie where you would hear the line "hey!
have you ever had your asshole licked by a tubby bitch in a black overcoat?"...
genius... i'm crying just thinking about it...
i have been waiting all summer for jay and bob to come out.... and it didn't
disappoint me... that's for sure... plus there were four incredibly yummy diamond
thieves in leather... uh...... he he..... yeah.... anywhoooo.... if you get
offended by sexual humor and dirty words, then fuck off pussy cock licker....
if not... walk.... no run..... no ride a mule to the theater to see this piece
of hilarious filth.... :o)
4 1/2 out of 5 stars