Disturbed

The Sickness

Is there anything better to get your groove on to than melodic grunts and agressive rock? I thought not. Now feel free to touch yourself.

I do realize that this review may be months too late but better late than never... especially in the world of a woman's cycle.... trust me.... wheeeeeeewwwwwww.....

Disturbed, a chicago band that isn't smashing pumpkins, put out their first major label album awhile back... infact it may have been almost a year... i don't remember... but i just finally picked it up this last week... and it is really really really really really really really good.... i'm a master of the english language... such gripping prose coming from a half wit...

the reason it took me this long to hop on the disturbed wagon was i never really got into their poodle dances and fireworks.... and by poodle dances and fireworks i mean singing and grunting... but i guess it is one of those acquired tastes.... kind of like midget porn and jud hirsch... and then i heard the song "down with the sickness"... it made me tip a car and i spent 2 weeks in a holding tank in mexico.... and just an f.y.i., when the mexican guards bring in that donkey, be afraid.... be very afraid.....

you may be familiar with disturbed's song "stupify".... it can be heard in adam sandler's last movie "little nicky"... then again i think i'm one of the 3,000 people that saw it, so no you might not be familiar with it.... so let me enlighten you.... it utilizes the most grunting out of any song on the album.... and it is the reason it took me so long to get the cd.... but now i accept it.... you could even say i like... but don't tell my therapist....she thinks it is the reason i'm still single and i don't have kids.... and by therapist i mean mom....

the biggest disappointment on the neatly pressed digital music disc is "shout 2000".... a remake of the song "shout".... ya know...... shout, shout let it all out..... yuck.... other than that the testosterone pours off every track and it gets me pumped up.... as pumped up as a giant inflatable arnold schwarzennegger on steroids.... well maybe not that pumped up...

so while disturbed is in the studio making their second disc go out and pick up "the sickness"... get familiar with the sound... learn to love again... get those hairplugs you've been thinking about.... just be happy....

3 1/2 out of 5 stars...

 

Top 50 CD's to Enhance Your Collection

now now now... i realize that you have many terrific cd's... and i'm sure everyone loves what you have in your collection when you have a party... and i'm more than positive that when the time comes for you to get bizay (unclogging that toilet) you have the best mood setters ever.... but i'm sure your collection could use a little sprucing up... so i will tell you the top 50 cd's you SHOULD have in your collection... they will make you a well rounded individual and probably a hit with the ladies down at the nursing home..... plus the list will be done by christmas time so you have something to ask for when you are sitting on santa's lap (other than a life or world peace)...