in homage to my favorite comedian and monday night football personality i present to you (dah dah dah dah) Rants....

This week on rants....

The Power of Cheese

every day i watch tv... i listen to the radio... and every day i am bombarded with commercials.... commercials for very necessary things... douches, tampax, acne creams, adult diapers and beer... and none of these disturb me... the ones that really get my bp up are the ones proclaiming the power of cheese... THE POWER OF CHEESE.... come on now... cheese doesn't have powers.... er wait.... it is hard to digest and it does block up my stool real nice like... have you ever gone to pizza hut? if your answer is yes then you know how bad you have to go to the bathroom 45 minutes after you eat a large sausage and cheese pizza.... i believe they put a natural laxative in their sauce.... but if you get their stuffed crust pizza the extra cheese (not to mention 3 times the fat) counter attacks the laxative and i don't poop nearly as much and as powerful... just an fyi....

i don't think there is anyone in the u.s. who hasn't heard of cheese.... cheese is an integral part of our american diets... cheeseburgers, grilled cheese sandwiches, fromunda cheese.... ha ha... anywhooooo.... why do we have to see an ad campaign for cheese? i don't think these commercials sway your decision in a restaraunt to get something with cheese, or even extra cheese... and no one is as crazy to risk getting kicked out of their house (like the damn commercial on the radio) for cheese... cheese just doesn't hold that much weight... it's cheese not sex, money or even love.... it's a damn dairy product... a product that is essentially mold... yummmm....

so today i am calling out cheese... if you are listening, cheese, show me these powers... call my bluff... i don't think you have it in ya cheese... i don't think you got the balls.... well cheese balls are pretty good.... on crackers.... yum.... anyways, i am officially challenging cheese to a duel... a battle of biblical proportions... or at least superman/lex luther proportions... and i'm superman, cheese, your the bald supervillain.... so until cheese comes forth with it's powers to fight, i'll sit here not eating cheese... not giving into it's deliciousness... so there....

Fight the Power