in homage to my favorite comedian and monday night football personality i present to you (dah dah dah dah) Rants....

This week on rants....

Television

days are long... and there is only so much in a day to occupy yourself... sure the world of porno is intriguing, and water colors are fun... but they can only be so captivating... then you have reading... but unless it is bed time, you don't need the early head nodding abilities of tom clancy's latest tome about who the fuck knows... then there is religion and family... who needs em... so that brings us to television... the provider of news and laughter... your only real friend... tv doesn't judge you... tv is there to give you cancer from the screen's radiation and give you hope that one day there will be a cure by showing the movie medicine man on tbs... what a wonderful thing...

tv is capable of so much... yet it fails incredibly in the eyes of this viewer... 120 channels of nothing... nothing i say... why must i choose between old family feud reruns and dr. quinn medicine woman reruns? why must there be the option of hair removal infomercials and crazy rotating oven infomercials? why must i choose between the wb and upn? where does the madness stop?

why isn't there a big wig somewhere listening to the pleas of the little man? or at least taking the information that they steal from my brain seriously? damn fillings... why can't there be a channel that offers nothing but the programs lonely, deranged recluses want? the last time i talked to j.d. he told me there should be a channel offering nothing but the simpsons... i looked at him... square in the eyes and said, "sally my man, you are on to something." he grinned...

so now is the chance for everyone to make sure there is no excuse to ever get up off the couch... to never try and converse with someone... to want to get a cathater... to only move to prevent bed sores... now is the time i call out to you.... contact your local cable company and tell them you want an all simpsons all the time channel... or at least free hbo...

Fight the Power