first--stereotypes

You Knoe You're Azn If.....

You carry a pager in your right pocket, flipped inward, whether its
activated or not.

Your vocabulary consists of "pimp, mack, wack" and as much as you
can remember from the ebonics dictionary.

You go to Asian parties, and you can't find your car since it looks like
every other Civic or Integra.

Your screen name consists of Asian, and every word in the profile is
written in alternating lower case/capital letters.

You can never address a friend without calling them "foo."

You use the letter "z" in every other word when using aim.

You never fit that old Asian stereotype of "all yellow skinned slant
eyes are smart."

TEENAGE ASIAN GANGSTERS

1. Your car probably looks like this by now.
2. Wears a Buddha bracelet on wrist.
3. Start smoking cigarettes by the age of 13.
4. Wear some really baggy pants with a white logo T-shirt.
5. Have either the typical Asian haircut with long dyed bangs or some
slicked back hair.
6. Still trying to lose virginity to some clueless babe.
7. Kiss up to older gang members to increase rank.

OLDER ASIAN GANGSTERS

1. Sport a lot of gold jewelry to show off.
2. Wear nice tight pants, with HK-Style See-Through Shirts.
3. Been Smoking for at least 10 years.
4. Still trying to lose virginity to some clueless babe.
5. Tell stories about glorious past to younger gangsters.
6. Treat the teenagers good so they can introduce you to young virgin
girls.
7. Living at home with parents, still!
8. Slick back hair, or just regular Asian haircut.
9. Show off with guns and drugs which actually belong to someone else.
10. Hang out in gambling dens and massage parlors, but never do anything
but watch the other people.

LEADERS OF ASIAN GANGS

1. Sport A LOT of Jewelry! Expensive shades, expensive EVERYTHING!
2. Wear nice pants like construction workers, or wear some Italian suits
like REAL businessmen.
3. Probably quit smoking cause you think you got lung cancer.
4. Still trying to lose virginity to some clueless babe.
5. Never really appear in public so your followers think you are always
doing something secretive.
6. Spiky hair, or real old style '70s '80s cut.
7. When asked for "stuff" or money, always reply "Later, it's not the right
time." In fact, you just don't have any.
8. Own the gambling dens and massage parlors, but the only customers
are own gang members/followers.

Top 10 Questions Asked Of Asian Americans

1.   Where are you from?
2.   No, where are you really from?
3.   Do you know karate?
4.   Can you see when you smile?
5.   Do you eat dog?
6.   What's my name in Korean?
7.   What kind of computer should I buy?
8.   Where did you learn to speak English so good?
9.   Do you know how to use a fork?
10. Do you know Connie Chung?

--Excuse me I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me tonight.

--Are you a parking ticket? 'cause you got fine-fine-
fine written all over ya.

--Are you tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all day.

--If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together!

--I must be in heaven cause I've seen an angel.

--My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going....

--Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

--I'm sorry, were you talking to me? no. well then please start.

--Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

--I hope you know CPR, cause you take my breath away!