1945, the United States of America and Japan are still at war even though Germany has surrendered. In Iwo Jima, a small base is sending out the last of the pilots for a kamikaze mission.

<Heero Yuy! You will be leading this mission. I hope you bring honor to our country.> The commanding officer said as he handed Heero a folded up Japanese flag. <Show those American scum what we’re made of.> Heero nodded and jumped into his Zero-plane, filled to the brim with explosives. They took off from Iwo Jima, not to return.

Down on Wake Island, an American base was preparing for an almost hopeless battle. Pilots taking pictures of their families, dog tags, and letters from their girls back home, Except for one exceptionally calm pilot whom waited in his plane, the one pilot that had a chance of surviving this battle. The one that was rumored to have never gotten a haircut in his life. A friend of this pilot walked up to his Corsair.

"So, Duo, are you ready to go already?" The blond young pilot asked.

"Of course I am, Tobias. Are you?" The braided pilot asked.

"I just need to fuel her up and I’m ready." Tobias answered.

"Okay, see you later!" Duo said as he shut his cockpit.

Minutes later, the Americans were flying to Iwo Jima.

Somewhere over the Northern Marianas, two fleets merged.

Heero barrel-rolled to get out of the way of an American pilot. <Only target the leader> his commander had told him. That pilot couldn’t be the leader, too reckless.

Duo let out a large breath, that blasted Japanese pilot chickened out at the last minute. Tobias’ voice came over the com, "Seems these pilots could use some courage, they all just split up. What are they trying to do?"

"I don’t know," Duo answered. "But I think they have a plan."

The battle raged on.

"Tobias! You got someone on your five! Shake him!" Duo yelled. Tobias’ Corsair did a "belly-flop" as it pretended to die, but the moment before it hit the Pacific it pulled up and blew the inferior Zero to shreds of scrap.

The battle raged on.

Heero noticed that his fleet was slowly losing the battle, his aircraft were quickly running out of fuel and hitting the ocean with a shock that set off the explosions in the cargo. As long as he had superiority in numbers, the Americans would lose.

The battle raged on.

Then it happened.

Tobias’ bullets punctured Heero’s cargo, setting off the explosives. By sheer dumb luck, the cockpit survived but the back of it was still ablaze. Heero decided then that any of these American pilots taken out would be honorable. He somehow directed his plane to hit Tobias’ and clip Duo’s wing off.

Two planes and a burning cockpit hit the ocean simultaneously.

One shore of a far-off island, three bodies lay askew. Tobias was the first to awaken. He saw the Japanese pilot to his left, apparently unconscious. To his right he saw… "Duo!" he yelled as he ran over to his friend.

Duo groaned and sat up. "Ow… Who got the number on that plane?"

"Glad to see you’re ok, Duo." Tobias sighed.

"Looks like we have a friend with us." Duo said, leering over at the Japanese pilot.

"Should we wake him up?" Tobias asked.

"Why not?" Duo asked. "He’s only a maniacal Japanese kamikaze pilot who has endangered our lives, destroyed our planes which got us into this situation I might add, but okay, if you want to, wake up that guy!" Duo yelled. Meanwhile shook the Japanese pilot to his senses, who suddenly awoke and drew his gun on Tobias. An arrow cleverly knocked the gun out of his hand. Duo turned toward the source. Standing there was a person barely older than Duo stood with another arrow notched in the bow.

"Thanks…" Tobias said. The person suddenly gave a look of surprise toward Tobias. He ran up to him and bowed.

"What the? Tobias! What did you do? He should be bowing to me!" Duo yelled, incredulous to what was happening.

The person, obviously a native of this island, stood up and took Tobias by the arm and ran off into the foliage leaving Duo and Heero standing there in shock. <What just happened?> Heero asked.

<I don’t know… should we follow him?> Duo asked in Japanese.

The two ran off into the foliage after Tobias.

Duo and Heero emerged at a primitive village with a large crowd of natives crowding around something in the middle of the village. All the people fell froze when a young man with bangs that could kill someone (Trowa) stepped up. He spoke with hand signals to the crowd who watched intently as the person described in American Sign Language (ASL) how a story of a god with shining yellow hair would come to bring salvation to the natives. But in order to do that he would have to figure out a mystical relic that had been on the island for months, a small silver box with many strange objects protruding out of it. First he brought out the relic, a small emergency radio! Just the thing Duo needed to get off this island. Next, they brought out Tobias, being escorted by two of the women, to a throne overseeing the village. The crowd fell to their knees as Tobias passed them, obviously confused. The young man handed the box to Tobias who lit up like a bulb as he tuned the radio into the nearest U.S. ship, the SS Nebraska. The radio cackled with the voice of Captain Winner, who promised to send the ship as fast as he could to the island to pick Duo and Tobias up. After Tobias turned off the radio, the natives cheered. The god with the golden hair had passed the test. They prepared a feast to honor.

That evening after the feast, Tobias sneaked out towards the beach to wait for the SS Nebraska. He was intercepted by the chief, who signed that he could not leave the village. {Just watch me.} Tobias signed as he marched into the layer of jungle. The chief followed him silently.

The next morning, the SS Nebraska broke the horizon toward the island where Heero, Duo, Tobias, and Trowa waited. They were picked up, Duo and Tobias, as heroes of war, Trowa as an ambassador from an island, and Heero as a prisoner of war, Quatre sat the two "heroes" down and debriefed them on what they had missed. The Japanese were still fighting and they had brought the Chinese into it.

Later that night, it happened.

Before he realized where he was Captain Winner knew he wasn’t on his ship any more. In fact, it didn’t even look like he was riding on the sea any more. He looked to his right, or tried to at least, his head was in something of a vice facing the wall. He was tied up in some sort of torture chamber. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Commander Tobias dangling from his arms by a rope attached to the ceiling with a scabbed over gash on his stomach, Commander Duo on "The Rack", The Japanese pilot hanging from his feet on a metal pulley, and the Ambassador had his hands caught in a Chinese finger trap.

A door opened, filling the room with light. A man walked in. "Hello children. I am Wufei Chang and I’ll be your torturer for this evening. Shall we get started?" He walked over to Tobias, shook him awake and laughed. "My, my, boy, we’re going to have to make sure that scab doesn’t get infected. You know what you need? A nice bath, in IODINE!" The madman pulled a tub of a clear, stinking liquid from the shadows. He positioned it under Tobias and lowered him in.

"Why do you want to clean the wound?" Tobias asked.

"So I can torture you while your still alive." Wufei said as if everyone in the room already knew. He cut the scab open then lowered Tobias into the tub.

"You know, maybe I should get my shirt off before I take this—IIIEEEEE!!!!!" Tobias yelled as the Iodine burned and healed him at the same time.

"You just take your time. You’ll get used to the pain." Wufei said as he moved on to Quatre. "You know what? Acupuncture is really soothing right after torture but still, it’s soothing BEFORE torture also!" He pulled some pins out from under his jacket. "Here we go, just hold still and I’ll—

"AAAAAHHH!!!! Keep the pins away from me you quack!" Quatre yelled as he tried to get his hands away from the pins. Wufei just stared in shock.

"I’ll leave these here and move on to Mr. Duet." Wufei left the pins directly in front of Quatre’s face just to mock him.

"So Mr. Duet, how are you today?" Wufei asked mockingly? Duo merely spat on him. "This is an outrage! I’ll just leave you here to think about what you’ve done!" Wufei moved on to Trowa. On they way there he ‘accidentally’ hit the crank to the rack. The sound of Duo’s yell drowned out the stretching of his limbs.

"So Mr. Silence I have a deal to make with you. You talk and I’ll let you go." Wufei said

"He talks in sign language idiot!" Duo yelled.

"So I guess you’re not coming out for a while then Mr. Silence." Wufei said moving on to Heero.

"You aren’t very exciting so I’ll just kill you right now" Wufei said drawing his pistol and shot Heero twice. No effect. "Oh Great! This is just swell! All the other torture captains get cool people to torture… But me? Nooo! I get some guy that can’t be hurt, a mute, an American water fountain, a crybaby that somehow became a captain, and some kid that’s not even in the Gundam Wing series! I know what I’ll do! I’ll let you all out, I’ll even let you use my superior’s fleet to get out of here" Wufei yelled as he unclasped everyone from their traps.

Heero went back to Japan and was killed during the Hiroshima bombing incident.

Duo went back to the beloved United States and won the congressional medal of honor he died choking on it

Trowa’s plane crashed on his way back to his island. Thereby proving you can’t fly a plane with your fingers in a Chinese finger cuff.

Captain Winner was charged with sissiness on duty he is now serving ten to life.

Wufei was taken into an insane asylum where he’s receiving torture therapy

Tobias wasn’t in the Gundam Wing series in fact, he’s just a made up character.

Zach Rendar Is the author and has written this story. He was charged with writing a story for no reason whatsoever.

Bum Ba Bum Bum. Bum Ba Bum Bum BUM!