the year is twnety-oh-eight
the world is struck by disease and hunger and hate
Lyndon LaRouche and and Avril Lavigne
are sitting in front of her TV screen
both plugged into her Playstation three
she's runnning for Senator
he don't know what she's standing for
and neither does the general populace
she's leading the polls,
she feels warm in her soul
'cause she knows she's
so f*cking popular
he's running for President
and going with precedent,
he's the tenth-most-favored in the primaries
from coast to coast in the offices and refineries
no one knows who is is at all
though he's completely sure
he can fix the world and stop the wars that go on
he can fix the world in a way that stays when he's gone
but now he can only sit here and cuss out Carol Mosley Braun
he's sure he can fix the problems
but no one really wants him
he's got two-tenths of a percent
and it's so locked up in precedent and
he'd talk about his struggles with his former rock-star friend
but she only wants to play video games until the primaries all end
she's running for Senator
she's sure she can fix the problems
in her home state, whichever one that is
she can make the budget solvent
no one really cares what she thinks about the budget
she's a rockstar they're sure she's propped up
by some really smart advisors
but her ideas are all hers
but people's eyes are covered by their visors
she's glad she's popular but it's not enough
it's never enough, she knows, it's never enough
they don't see what she is, so she gets scared
so she retreats to playing video games
with a friend that has unknown name
Avril Lavigne
is drowning her worries in front of the screen
she and LaRouche are locked up in Playstation three
she beat him in Dance Dance Revolution
and she beat him in Madden two-thousand-eight
they both have ideas to solve all the pollution
and neither is feeling that great
no one wants him, that's a fact
ev'ryone wants her, but they don't know
whether she's a Republican or a Democrat and
all their friends online
say that there was once a time
when ev'ryone would listen to you
all their friends online
say there was a time
when people might come and listen to you
but those people aren't clear in thought
they're pro'ly on pot
(woah)
they're pro'ly on pot
(woah)
LaRouche and Lavigne know this night can't last
the sun will rise and it'll happen fast
so they put away their Playstation
and break out the vintage Dreamcast
soon there will be paparazzi outside the door
she's learned to deal with them and how they always want more
Lyndon's mutttering an incantation
his wrists are covered with knife abrassions:
"Lyndon LaRouche
what can you do
let them battle over you
just let them clamor over you
just let them clamor over you
just let them clamor over you"
Avril's mouth is tasting sour
from all the pills she took last hour
"Avril Lavigne," she says,
"what can you do
they'll never clamor over you
they already love the tune but not the words,
contrive a way to have them
battle over you
make them hear your words
no speechwriters
make them battle over you
make them battle over you
make them battle over you"
she plays as Sonic
he plays as Tails
both are biting off all their nails
maybe they'll survive all the pressure
maybe they'll stick this out and get their goal
but it doesn't seem very likely at all
and suddenly at one AM
they're happens to be a power outage
he checks his watch and decides to take his iron supplements
and she thinks of her latest song and decides she's abusing couplets
there's a knock at the door
so they both his the floor:
the paparazzi aren't due yet
they think it's a terrorist
they hope that his shots will miss
and if they don't then that they don't deserve what they get
The figure walks into the room
but it's not a killer by the midnight moon
it's a woman and she walks in, asks
"why are you on the floor?"
Lavingne and LaRouche explain
why they were on the floor
the newcomer sighs and blinks her eyes
she writes firey columns for local newspaper
she loves to mouth off, and plus they pay her
Her name is Jessica Cornerstat
its a last name that ev'ryone laughs at
she's got a thick skin, she's got her best friends,
LaRouche and Lavigne and that guy with that hair that bends,
and
she's had an argument with her brother
on the nature of the weather
he's a bit crazy he thinks that
the sun is made of ether
she said she heard on the news it was gonna rain
her brother says he felt that there would never be rain again
"no no no sis, it's never gonna rain again again" he said,
"And within the year all of the plants will be dead
and so will we
and certainly we'll be dead
again...
again" he said, oh yeah
Jessica took him into the hospital,
where they said he might have had a head tramua
he said "no I just say crazy things some times
I know it's fantasy, please don't tell Momma"
they dragged his ass away
to run a bunch of tests
Jessica came running to Avril's house
'cause she was feeling like a mess
she relates the story to Lyndon and Avril
"What if he really has gone mad?" she asks,
"what can I do, when ev'ryone feels sad?"
woah, woah
ev'ryone feels
LaRouche and Lavigne are both feeling tired
they look at the mess in which Jessie is mired