Let's recap the last month or so.
I have moved or help move no less than 3 people. I helped my mom move into her still unfinished cabin in the woods. I helped Maryam move into her new apartment. I moved myself as well. I then helped to move out the furniture in the old apartment.
Prior to moving into the new apartment I called around to the various utilities to effect their transfer or cancellation. I found that, because my mother had taken it upon herself to start them in her name, I could not make changes to either the electric or phone accounts. My mom still had not (and still has not to this day, AFAIK) gotten phone service out at the cabin. To get in touch with her you have to call her on this relic of a car phone she has. She hasn't bothered to get an in house charger, so she can only charge it in her car, and the thing's battery only lasts for about 45 minutes. Needless to say I've gotten very familiar with "The cellular customer you are calling is not available" error tape. I digress, in short I could not schedule to have the power turned off (which turned out not to be a problem, anyway) or to have the phone service transfered (which turned out to be annoying, but useful). The only service I had no apparent trouble setting up the transfer of was the cable. "Apparent" is the key word.
Cut to the 20th of August- moving day.
I walk into the old apartment to hear Maryam concluding a conversation with the cable guy over the phone (remember, I couldn't have it transferred?). He's gone to Apt 214, rather than 1214. Unfortunately, Maryam had also set up to have cable installed and instructed him to go to her apartment, rather than mine. Skip ahead a bit. The cable guy FINALLY shows up at my new apartment. While he's going about his business he's telling me about how he's been to two different wrong units before finally finding the place. More or less, he records the number on the bottom of the cable box, flips a couple of switches, collects the $5 fee and leaves. The cable is up and running in all rooms and the various menus for the digital cable are coming up fine. Skip ahead a bit. Another one of my roommates decides that he too would also like a digital box. Another cable guy comes out. Now... all this guy has to do is bring out the box and record the number and then go add it to my account. I asked him if this was what he was doing, to which he confirmed it was. I then left to go get another load of stuff from the old apartment. I returned to find some argument over a $50 fee. Fernando, the roommate that wanted the new box, had 3 twenties and the cable guy was talking some smack about not being able to make change. Being ever the diplomat, I took one of the twenties and gave the cable guy a ten and the roommate a ten. Everyone's happy. Skip a bit. Fernando posts something on the fridge about wanting to split the $50 he had to pay to the cable guy. I responded with a little note explaining how the $50 stems from him getting a box in his room and, since he's the only one that will use it, it's not a community expense (Incidentally, any that would cry hypocrite, my box is in the living room). Fernando posts the invoice on the fridge. I respond writing, in effect, that I don't really give a shit what the specific charges are for- they're all a result of him wanting his own box. I was mistaken on that count. Skip a bit. It finally occurs that Fernando and I are at home at the same time. He's contacted Comcast, the cable company, and has a little note describing the charged on the invoice in depth. There's $9.95 for the first digital box. There's $16.95 for the second box. Then there's the prorated fee for the August-September billing period. Here's the problems: 1) The cable guy didn't install two boxes- mine was already installed. 2) I had already paid the August-September billing period under my old account. Someone had fucked up. Skip a bit.
I call Comcast the next day to discover that the name associated with my account number (which is my phone number) is Jason Porter. An account associated with my name is in Apt 214. And the account associated with my new address is in Fernando's name.
To make things even more interesting, Fernando's account only has one digital box on it. So that $16.95 fee for the second box, which was already suspect, turns out to be totally bogus. My cable box, it seems, has ceased to exist... and I still don't know who Jason Porter is (he probably lives in Apt 214 ¦¬)
To fix this corporate clusterfuck we have the option of a) bringing down my box to exchange it for a new one to be put on Fernando's account b) bringing down both boxes to exchange them for new ones to be put on my account. The problem is that Fernando has to go to work, so we can't do it then (and we both have to be there), and He's leaving for 5 days in Chicago the next day... so we have to do it when he gets back. All in all we've paid around $50 dollars to the cable company this month in unnecessary or duplicate charges... and WE have to do all the driving around to get THEIR fuck up fixed. And, this will probably be the best part, they'll most likely want to charge us for a couple more things when we take in the boxes to get them put back on my account.
Guess what? That's one of the annoying things this month.
So, as I said previously, the only way I could get in touch with my mom was through her cell phone- which she rarely had turned on. While I did tell her about the problems with the electric and phone services while I was helping her move I had not been able to get in touch with her to find out if she had actually done anything about it. Moreover, I was no longer living in the old apartment. So, I bought a cell phone.
It seemed easy enough. They have these tables set up around campus hawking connectivity to the information age kids... I stop by between classes, wham-bam, and buy a phone in under 10 minutes. Sprint PCS, if you're interested.
After I get home I takeout the phone and hook it up to charge like it says. Since charging takes 5 hours and I have nothing else to do I read through the various literature provided. Finally the phone is ready... I press * 2 TALK. The next 45 minutes or so are spent repeating things very slowly several times. Why? I get no signal where I live, so the phone breaks up a lot (it's a digital network BTW... break-up on a digital phone means you're REALLY ass over elbow on the fringe of the network). There are also lengthy pauses between major operations so the customer service guy can pray to the computer gods. "Come on computer, please don't lock up" was a common refrain. It finally gets to the point where he's going to find out my new phone number... alas, the prayers don't work. I'm instructed to call back and get someone else. I say thanks, press END, and begin again. Unfortunately, the last rep didn't save any of my information so the whole process must be repeated. The next 30 minutes are also spent with a fair amount of slow repetition but much time is saved by this rep not having to chant and sacrifice goats to get her computer to work... she's reading me my new phone number... "Area code 8 6 5--"BEEPBEEPBEEP... what's that? I look at the phone, "CALL DROPPED" AGH!!!
I then go get in my car and drive around until I find somewhere that read out as having full signal. I press * 2 TALK for the third time. The second rep didn't save anything, either. This time everything goes well without any need to constantly repeat things... we get to the point where the guy's going to give me the new number and... I'm in my car, I don't have a pen or paper. Not to worry... it doesn't matter anyway... I have to go into a certified Sprint PCS dealer to make a $125 credit deposit before they'll activate my phone services anyway. Which brings up something I failed to mention... the friendly college student that sold me the phone itself assured me that the $30 activation fee would be taken care of by a promotion they (RadioShack) was running... when I mentioned this to the rep she didn't have a clue what I was talking about. ANYWAY. I go into Radioshack to make the deposit and discover that it must be made in cash or other secured payment method. (Oy... my alarm just went off... I should go to sleep) So I bop down to the pseudo-ATM that has the lovely maximum legally allowed service charge to withdraw the necessary funds and return to pay my charge and get some long ass ID number. I press * 2 TALK for the fourth time. This time I've been lucky enough to have my account info saved, so I'm spared that particular joy, and in about 10 minutes I have a functioning phone. I set up the free voicemail/pager service that comes with the package. I even got a little text page welcoming me to the "Sprint PCS Family."
Day three.
All I've actually used the phone for at this point is to set up the voicemail. I've never actually recieved a call. Though I have tried calling various people (ahem, like my mom for example) but I haven't ever gotten a call to go through as planned- no answer or no service. So I notice a message in my voicemail. Sprint is alerting me that I've exceeded my spending limit. I press * 2 TALK for the 5th time. Not only does the woman refuse to tell me what my spending limit she's about half way through the listing of the charges when she tells me to wait while the system "updates" (which is a curiously oft used term in my experience with Sprint). After the system updates it seems the $125 I paid previously has finally shown up and, so sorry, I can have use of my phone back now.
Did I mention I have free long distance? Did I mention I have 500 Nights and Weekend minutes? Did I mention I have 500 Anytime minutes? How about that I don't use the phone that often and have no clue how I'm going to spend 16½ HOURS on this thing per month? I s'pose I could talk to my family which is cast about the nation.
Or, here's a novel idea, talk to people I don't know: 865.405.7495.
Speaking of people I don't know, I had a rather interesting thing happen to me in the bookstore a couple days ago. This is a semi-annoyance, and not the interesting thing, but I had been hoping I could use the same books as I had bought for last semester... no such luck. So, I'm in the book store looking a the chemistry lab book I need when I stand up to find a fairly attractive girl standing in front of me.
"What's your name on ICQ?" she asks
"1010011010" I reply.
"No, not your number, the nickname"
"That is the nickname, though my number is 6014226. I did have Panthera Domesticus. Why?"
Then, in a harsh little whisper "I've seen your penis!"
Remember kids... be careful where you send pictures of your naughty bits. It turns out I have this girl in my Religious Studies 101 class, which is the class she's hunting down the materials for. After a bit more awkwardness I excuse myself with a "Well, it was nice meeting you" and go look for my other books. I pass her later on my way to the check out and point her to the Religious Studies books.
Cut to the next class day... It occurs to me that I never got a good look at, or remember, what this girl looks like... all I have is a vague notion that she passed the once-over test. No one approaches me in class, and I don't catch anyone looking at me weird. And trust me, I was looking. Over the weekend I ran into a semi-ex-girlfriend (or would that be ex-semi-girlfriend?) who also told me she was in my Rel Stud class. I didn't spot either of them. I could possibly have spoken to the I've-seen-your-penis girl online... but I still didn't have phone service (I had gotten in touch with my mom, though, and found out it was to be switched on by the 29th).
Cut to the next class day... which is the 30th- still no phone, BTW- I get in late and wander over to the opposite side of the room. I get a strange feeling when I look at the girl sitting next to me while I lean on the air conditioner looking for an empty desk... but this thought is pushed aside as I spot a desk and move to sit in it. I, again, look for the mystery girl but I can't find anyone looking at me weird... though I did find Liane, the ex-semi-girlfriend. Later when I get home the phone is finally on! Also, Fernando's relatives (mother and aunt? grandmother and sister? I don't know) are busy gluing a 60ft phone line along the baseboards from the active phone jacks in the other part of the apartment down to the end Fernando and I share. I try to explain to them that I have a phone... but I don't speak spanish and they don't speak english. The BellSouth guy shows up right as Comcast calls back (this isn't quite in chronological order, BTW... this was the call where Edna, the friendly Comcast rep, was giving me options A & B). He's surprised that my phone is working as he hasn't actually done anything yet. He calls a couple different diagnostic numbers on the line, shrugs, has me sign something, and leaves in less than 5 minutes.
Thursday the 31st... I finally get to go through and delete my spam again. Oh yeah, and read my mail. I also get to talk to the girl from the bookstore and discover she's none other than... the girl that was sitting next to the air conditioner! Finally, I have an idea of what she looks like... and then I end up sleeping through my alarm on Friday and missing the Religous Studies class. Le sigh...
Anyway. I also joined a rock climbing club and I could tell you about the continued strange relationship I have with Maryam (for some reason I've had opportunity to see her breasts several times whilst visiting her, not that I'm complaining, but that doesn't seem to fit in with the "just friends" motif she claimed she's aiming for), but I think I should at least go lay horizontally for a while before I have to go to class.