Maryam and Mindy (M&M) threw a party last night. I showed up around 9pm. Rus was there. "Rus is a sexy bitch. He makes himself horney." He was drinking a bottle of beer, which I found odd as there was a keg. I personally don't like beer, so I had brought some Jack Daniels and Jagermeister. As I stepped inside to put the alcohol in the freezer, I noticed Rus had brought two girls, Holly and Rachel.
Mindy doesn't want anyone smoking in the apartment so I returned outside to chat with Rus and Maryam. I was offered muscle relaxers. I declined after inquiring what kind and being met with a "I don't know." For some reason M&M still haven't removed their porch light so it was attracting all manner of overly friendly insects. We all quickly retreated inside.
David, Mindy's brother, showed up a couple minutes later (Right as Tone Loc's "Wild Thang" came on) with several guys. At this point the male:female ratio was about 4:1. It didn't improve much over the course of the night.
The party was going very slowly. All in all, I doubt more than 30 people showed up the entire night. After the benefits of not playing shitty boy band music at a party that was predominantly male was explained to the hostess things begand to pick up a little. Maryam, Rus, and I made a run to my apartment to pick up some CDs and reminded the folk in my apartmetn about the party. David and Rus also started wandering around the complex accosting pedestrians to come join the party... this turned out to be a mistake later in the evening. Some folks I went to highschool with live in the next building down... so I went over and alerted them to the existance of a party. They were all relaxing on the couch watching football when I showed up (except for Josh, a la Random Josh Quotes, who walked in from his room). They seemed surprised to see me. They promised to come over later.
I was having a strange affinity for being able to remember people's names that night. We have Margaret and Briana, who were some of the people culled from the outside by David and Rus. They were with some guys whom I'd like to say were named James and Ollie, but I don't really remember. There were these three guys who introduced themselves as Joey, Mike, and Ralph. "Joey" and "Mike" instantly tried swapping names. As it turns out their names were actually James, Ali, and Nick, though I didn't find this out until fairly later in the evening. Of the guys David originally brought I can remember Jonathan, Ben, Josh (a different one), and John. Also showing up were two girls... one of them, Amanda, had recently broken up with one of the guys in David's group... though I never picked up which.
The folks from my highschool had still not showed up so I went to check on them. This time 'round I succeeded in luring Josh to the party with the promise of free liquor. After he had drunk a little he went back to his apartment and brought over a couple of Mike's Hard Lemonade, which, I might add, kick ass. Shortly after Josh returned with the hard lemon most of the rest of his unit showed up: Stephen, Danny, Jennifer and Catherine.
My roomate Nick, not to be confused with Ralph/Nick, and 3 of his friends stopped by... I only caught the name of one of them, Eddie. Some how or another, and I do not recall how, I ended up plucking both Jennifer and Catherine's eyebrows out on the front porch. They were pleased with the results and I ended up giving them my phone number along with a little pitch about my manicure, hair dying, and other skills. Now I just need to find a boyfriend and then I'd be all set for a new lifestyle as a door-to-door cosmetologist.
Shortly after several people left, which is unfortunate because they missed out on all the drama that followed.
John and Ali exchanged words and it was necessary to seperate them. Ali was taken outside toward the central stairwell and John was kept inside near the bar. Things appeared to have been ironed out... both of them seeming to be content to express how macho they were to their respective group of handlers. Oh, if only. John came out onto the porch to smoke a cigarette. Josh (the other one), Nick (whom I still knew as Ralph), James, and I took up position about half way between John and Ali just in case. Things seemed to be fine... then John noticed Ali and gave him a nice evil little look. Then Ali returned to talking shit. David cornered John and tried to calm him down, and Ali was spirited around the corner out of sight. John acted like he had chilled out, was released, and promptly jumped the fence to run around to the stair well. Mindy and David blocked him at the stairwell, but David seemed to lose his leverage and went down. James, Nick and I then caught him and, after a short struggle, took him to the ground. During this Ali was apparently taken towards his apartment. John again acted like he had chilled out. He was released and promptl took off up the stairs. I ran down the causeway between the units and up the stairs on the other side. I caught him at the top of the third floor stairs. John screamed "where is he?" in my face a few times, to which I replied "I don't know." He ducked under my arm and stalked through the causeway to the stairs I had come up. Josh (the other one) and some asian fellow who's name I never caught met him on the landing. John turned around to walk back up but I had taken up postion at the top of the stairs, we had him boxed in. He yelled "where is he?" at us a couple more times while the asian fellow spoke in soothing tones about going to check on David. John finally did seem to calm down so we let him down the stairs. David, Mindy, and several others had come over towards our stairwell at this point... this would be a problem because, as it turned out, Ali's apartment was on the second floor on this side. He stepped out onto his balcony area and resumed talking shit. John was again taken to the ground. Ali came down the stairs and was stopped by Mindy... at some point during the following few minutes Ali shoved (shall we say) Mindy and hurled epithets at her. James was doing fairly well holding John on the ground to Nick and I walked over to help convince Ali to return to his room. Mindy had left in tears. This pissed David off when he found out, so I was diverted to trying to convince David not to commit violence against Ali. Ali had been taken back into his apartment... (this also turned out to be a mistake, because while there he called his frat brothers, we discovered in a few minutes) Everything finally seemed to have calmed down. James had gotten off of John who was standing, pissed off but not with focused rage. I had taken up position on the Ali's balcony area near the stairwell with one of Ali's roommates. Ali returns outside (having recently completed his call, I'd guess) and begins walking towards the stairwell. The roommate blocks him and I get him in something like a bear hug so is arms are pinned to his body at the elbows. He thrashes around a bit and asks "Who's behind me?" to which I have him a cheery "Howdy!" This does not improve his mood. He contiues thrashing and demanding to be let go. I begin to carry him back into his apartment when his roomate recommends that I let him go... so I release him.
He goes down the stairs to be met about halfway by Nick. He yells at John over Nick's arm. Though John is right at the bottom of the stairs he does not appear to notice.
There had been quite a number of spectators milling about so I did not take much notice of the group of about six guys that were walking down the parking lot until they decided to take up position on the stairs with me and Nick and joined in a broken chorus of "don't nobody fuck with Ali." They were trying to push Nick and I down the stairs, but, not knowing their intentions we held our ground to keep the two groups of people that were willing to fight seperated. At one point I was grabbed and shoved en mass but only lost a single step *flexes ego, smiles charmingly*. I was preoccupied with being surrounded by a bunch of hostile males so I do not know who by or how John was taken back to M&M's apartment. I spent a couple of minutes havng a pleasant little chat with Ali's new friends about my role in the evening's entertainment. The most hilarious portion of the evening occurred here when Ali's lines changed from "Just let me go, man" to "Don't you ever fucking touch me again, got it?" I replied to his question with something to the effect of "I'm not interested" which he didn't take kindly to. Ali jumped over his friends and attempted to strangle me. His friends pulled him off and pushed him back. At this point I had decided Ali's friends were willing to go with the flow of the situation, so I went to work trying to convince Nick to back down... unfortunately I still thought his name was Ralph and had a little trouble getting his attention while he gave indignant stares to Ali's friends. Eventually he did step down and Ali's friends held their place (and Ali) on the stairs. We returned to M&Ms apartment to find Mindy on the couch crying w/ David nearby and Maryam curled up in the fetal position on the floor in the bathroom, also crying, w/ John nearby. When I checked in on Maryam, John got up and walked into the living room and, from the yelling that ensued, probably was trying to go back outside. Maryam told me to shut the door, which I did, and then I sat on the floor beside her. She uncurled a bit and crawled over into my lap and continued crying. John and, I believe, David continued yelling in the next room. Maryam screamed "Get him out of here!" and returned to crying. A few moments later she stalked into the living room and demanded everyone just shut up. I took her by the hand and led her to her room and proceeded to tuck her into bed. "lay down with me" she says... well, okay. She cried a bit more and finally seemed to calm down... as did the argument in the main room. We returned to the main room after about 5 minutes and discovered why: Mindy and David's parents had shown up (in less than 10 minutes [they live 20 minutes away, usually] and at 4 am, no less). After a little discussion it was decided that I would drive John home (this would also turn out to be a mistake, IMO) I left to bring my car around, as that would probably be better than trying to have him walk across about half the compound. I drove him home (and only hit the curb once ;) and upon returning discovered I had been voted MVP... to which I responded with an obscene hand gesture. There was a short session of rehashing, I denied several things, and a couple more people left, including Mindy's parents. I collected my CDs from the stereo (Couldn't find one of my Chemical Brother's albums, though), got my shit together and got ready to leave. Maryam wanted me to stay, however, so I informed her she could find me asleep in her room.
Which she did, later. I again got to see her topless as she changed into this tight little tanktop/sportsbra thing with the explanation "because I know you like it." (the tanktop/sportsbra, not the tit shot, though I do like the tit shots) She also informed me that she was still "on the rag" though only spotting... and upon returning from the bathroom at one point during the night felt inclined to inform me that she had taken off her underwear (she was still wearing pajama bottom things, though). She also kissedme and said "thank you" and invited me out to have "a fillet" ay Ruby Tuesdays. All of these events were interspersed with multiple reassertations that she was not ever going to have sex with me again. I found this all entertaining both on the face of it and from the fact that I didn't even want to be there anymore. We finally went to sleep around 6.30.
My dad calls my cell at around 2.30pm the next day, Maryam whacks her alarm clock a couple of times while the phone's ringing. I talk to him, he finds out he woke me up, and he offers to call back later. I little while later I get dressed, look for my Chemical Brothers CD a little more, and then walk back home. I get halfway through the compound when I remember my car is still parked right outside Maryam and Mindy's apartment. I call my dad as I'm walking but get no answer. Around 4pm I call Maryam to ask if she's still interested in getting that filet, as I was hungry. She giggles and talks to Mindy a bit- apparently they had just been discussing going out to eat. She telle me I can come along. About 10 minutes later she calls back as I'm just beginning my walk to her apartment and asks what I'm wearing. ("Why see through panties, my love.") I tell her it's the same pants but I've changed shirts (as the one I was wearing at the party had a couple of fresh holes and dirt smudges... not to mention a number of spilled beer stains).. she tells me the place Mindy wants to go is "kinda nice" and that I sound thus wear "kinda nice" clothes. I turn around and start walking back to my apartment while discussing what "kinda nice" clothes are, exactly. I change and walk over... I'm very hungry at this point. I enter to discover Maryam still in the clothes she slept in and Mindy only half ready. I resign myself to waiting. A couple of conversations and another option to see Maryam topless occur and then Mindy gets a call from her mom. Apparently M&M had agreed to go eat dinner at Mindy's parents tonight... so not only have I been waiting in hunger anticipating "kinda nice" food for more than and hour... I end up not actually getting it.
How was your day?
