Physical, Social, and Emotional needs. Currently, she appears to be using me to satisfy most of her emotional need and many of her physical needs to the exclusion of those that are explicitly sexual... she does however dance the line on whether a given activity is sexual or not. There have been hours spent where any given moment is seconds away from being sexual. The fact that she repeatedly asked me to go to CoJ's indicates she's trying to expand my role to cover her social needs as well. One possibility is that she's trying to groom/reintegrate me into someone she will again accept as a sexual partner... this is potentially healthy. Two, she wants to get me side-by-side with other candidates for comparison purposes... while not what I would consider "healthy" this is within average behaviour. Three, she's simply expanding my role. I will end up someone she can talk to, hang out with, go home with, sleep (just sleep) with. And ifshe gets a little horny? well! just pick up some random guy! Basically just digging the pit we're already in a little deeper. Why do I continue to live with this? I suppose I hope that if I'm there when she finally grows out of this we can begin again. Though, I begin to wonder how much more of this I can accept. I do not understand how she can do this. Understanding breeds acceptance, yet it also breeds manipulation. I don't want to coerce her into anything... but I can see that beginning to show up in my actions.
Query: Did she fuck the guy from CoJ's as puishment for me no bowing to her demands for social integration?
Answer: not conciously. Karla was the one to originally ask if I wanted to go. Maryam did recheck before leaving but no time was given for reconsideration. it's possible she'd already decided to fuck the guy. it's possible she'd given up trying to get me to go. it's possible (probable) that my going or not was the hinge point of the evening. I would hope so, as I doubt my reaction to her picking up a guy in my presence would have gone over well. I don't understand it and, so, cannot accept it. The fact that she was drugged at the time also did not help.