Snitch Report #158, The Elvis Hash, faithfully submitted by SOS

Twenty-five years later and the King of Rock-n-Roll is fondly remembered by the Zagreb Strollers Hash House Harriers as the stage is set for Hash Run #158. SOS, Minnesota Fats and Virgin hare, Sanja, all from MLT Croatia, started out early to set the trail which included eight false trails and 189 steps in the area of Vinogradska. Immediately upon laying the trail, the skies looked a bit ominous but eventually the clouds parted for a very nice evening; not too hot and not too cool. A "king" size group of 14 Elvis look-alike hashers showed up to see what the Peanut Butter and Banana sandwiches were all about. The 6:30 pm hash started promptly at 6:47 pm and while the group rounded the first curve involving a false trail, we could hear the very faint cry of "on-on" from Big Country as he finally decided to join us. He used the old "it took longer to get the cold beer than I thought it would" excuse as his reason for being late. It did not keep him from getting a down-down.

There were three very defined groups; walkers, runners, and those who could not follow the trail. This is probably the first time in the history of the ZSH3 that the walkers, worn, tired and weary, beat the runners and those that thought they were to be first.

Somehow, early on, Turbo misread the marking at the end of a false trail to be an arrow heading in the direction of the Circle. The rest of the walkers, Scandihooligan, Twisted Sister, World Wanker's wife and newcomer, Cathy, and Big Country were easily convinced that this was the correct route. SOS reluctantly followed the group because she had PB&B sandwiches made with Wonder Bread on her mind. What a joyous feeling to actually "walk" to the Circle first. Of course, those Scandinavians were given a down-down for their deceitfulness.

The walkers didn't have to wait long before World Banker came running in, followed by Goody Two Shoes, Spiderman, Bellybutton and hare, Greg, who later was named Minnesota Fats. But where was Party Animal? Sooooo, she was the one who thought she would be first...but she wasn't. Finally, Party Animal joined the Circle and was very surprised to find out she was last. Yep, you gotta' stop at those check points every once in a while. As we circled up, our third hare, Sanja and her husband, Drazen, and their 'ain't nothing but a hound dog' puppy joined in. Our guest RA, World Wanker, took no mercy and both ended up with down-downs.

Actually, no one escaped from down-downs. Cathy got one for being a first-timer, or was it because she was married to World Wanker. I can't remember for sure. Turbo got a down-down for having the same birthday, 8 January, as the King. And that silly Big Country had bragged about his new shoes, too. Goody Two Shoes had complained about work so Bellybutton had to also share in a down-down since no one drinks alone. Spiderman had a down-down for wearing 'blue suede socks'. SOS should have had one for wearing those ridiculously long sideburns attached to her sunglasses. Greg was given the honored name of Minnesota Fats in a naming ceremony since he is from the great state of Minnesota but I don't think he knows how to play pool with the same winning style. With the Circle completed, we lit candles and then went directly for the PB&B sandwiches. They were given a unanimous thumbs up, especially when you added a little apple butter to the mixture. And it was all washed down with some good ol' southern sweet tea. With the feeling that Elvis was with us in the Circle, everyone remained in the Circle as they stuffed the PB&Bs down. Elvis memorabilia from Graceland were given out as door prizes. Spiderman won the grand prize Elvis T-shirt...wow! Some remarked there was even a resemblance. As Elvis would say, "hvala, hvala lijepa!", although, it doesn't quite come out the same.

Elvis has left the Circle. On-on.

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