Naruto, wearing the wedding dress, ran down the dune. Aften him came the ninja teachers, some of them quite energetic, some not so energetic. Nils Börje the talking scroll was clearly confused. It kept swirling around in the air and squaled:

"What is this? Who told you to - "

It looked at the real Naruto and back at the false one, who ran to Kakashi, still screaming happily:

"I brought them, we did it!"

"This is only half of the victory", Kakashi warned him. "Now go to Naruto."

"Kakashi, nice to see you. Nice... clothes", Iruka mumbled as he reached the jounin. All the other jounins gasped when they saw their students.

"Sensei!" most of the genins howled.

"Is this going to end now?" Rock Lee asked, desperate. Iruka saw the rice cooker and almost picked it up, but Kakashi stopped him saying:

"Don't touch it, Nils'll turn you into a frog."

Iruka gulped.

"What's in there?" he asked. "Please say it's not a student."

"Sasuke", Kakashi answered. Nils had survived the shock and yelled out:

"Welcome, my dear friends! Hmm, do I remember your names correctly? Asuma, Kurenai, Baki, Ebisu, Anko, Hayate, Iruka... but who is this little boy?"

"He's the great Hokage's grandson!" whined Ebisu panicking. "Don't you dare touch him, scroll!"

"Nils-sama, may I ask", Nils corrected. "Oh, well. Since we finished the beauty contest, all of you can wear your clothes again."

Everybody were relieved to find themselves in their normal clothing again, especially the Sand team. Anko decided to get to business.

"Nils Börje", she said demandingly. "Surrender without resistance, or we'll be forced to - well, force you!"

"No", answered Nils, pouting. It flew a bit higher and continued:

"It's so much fun, I don't want to stop yet! I don't want to stop EVER!"

"He hasn't changed, has he?" Anko sighed. Hayate coughed a couple of times and told Kakashi:

"It seems we have to make some sort of a plan."

"You don't have a plan?" Kakashi asked. The mask covered his worried face.

"We didn't have much time to make one", answered Hayate and coughed. Kakashi pondered a moment, then shrugged his shoulders and stated:

"I guess I can trust it to you guys. I've got a book to finish."

He started reading Icha Icha Paradise as Nils thought it should continue its gruesome game.

"I've got new playmates!" it rejoiced. Hayate looked at Anko, and both of them started preparing the jutsu that would seal Nils away. The other senseis quickly joined them. Unfortunately Nils was no longer mentally absent, and as it noticed what they were doing it shouted:

"Suddenly Iruka's pants dropped!"

The senseis ignored Iruka's Doraemon boxers that were now visible. They were determined to end this now. Nils frowned and yelled:

"Suddenly everyone were holding tambourines!"

The senseis threw the instruments away and continued making the jutsu. All the students [who also had tambourines] started throwing them at Nils, who made a couple of angly circles and screamed:

"How mean! Suddenly..."

It noticed it didn't have much time to stop the jutsu, so it quickly yelled:

"Suddenly a large portion of syrup poured over everyone!"

What Nils described "a large portion" would have filled the ocean that was still in the middle of the desert. For a moment, everyone were practically covered in brown slime, but it soon flowed away leaving them just sticky. Asuma slowly took his cigarette and looked at it sadly.

"Damn", he said.

Hayate's cough was even worse than before; Kurenai whacked his back and wished he wouldn't throw up. All the genins were screaming such comments as "Yuck", "Disgusting" and "Yummy" [guess who said that]. Kakashi had quickly sheltered his book and continued reading.

Konohamaru was one of those who thought it was only cool that it was raining syrup. When everyone else were trying to get rid of the slime, he built a sand castle. Then his eyes met the rice cooker, which was still laying on the ground, now very much brown.

"What's that?" he wondered and walked to the thing. He bent over to pick it up, but his sensei Ebisu dramatically dashed to stop him.

"Don't touch it! It can be dangerous!" he screamed and pushed Konohamaru's hand away just in time. His own hand, unfortunately, hit the rice cooker and caused it to roll aside.

"How dangerous can it be?" asked Konohamaru, annoyed. "Let me look at it!"

"Oh", Nils yelled out, delighted. "It seems Ebisu touched the rice cooker! I'll have to fulfill my threat!"

"What threat?" whined Ebisu, his face turning pale. Iruka [trying to pull his pants up] gasped in horror.

"Suddenly Ebisu turned into a frog. That's it", Nils stated and turned back at the shinobi students, thinking about other ways to have fun. "Please try to leave the rice cooker alone."

"Wow", whispered Konohamaru and touched Ebisu the frog to ensure it was real. Ebisu was so scared that he couldn't move; he just sat where he was and hoped he would soon wake up from this nightmare.

"Not trying to seal me anymore?" teased Nils, looking at the senseis who were helping the students. "Good. What could I do next?"

"You..." growled the two Narutos. Sakura told her teammate to get rid of the clone.

"Can't even the jounins stop it?" whispered Hinata, looking at her teacher who was busy helping Neji out of the syrup. The Sand team sweatdropped when they saw Baki, who didn't like the feeling syrup caused when it dribbled down his back.

Nils was getting bored again. Kakashi saved its day by ignoring the syrup and reading his book, relaxed. An evil smirk appeared on its face as it declared:

"Suddenly Kakashi's book turned into a shoujo manga!"

Kakashi flinched as he noticed he was holding a volume of Sailor Moon in his hand. In the same hand he had had his beloved book. And he had just been getting into the good part.

He stuffed the manga into his slimy pocket, took a couple of deep breaths and turned to face Nils. The cackling scroll soon froze when it felt the massive killing aura.

"Eh?" it squealed.

"It was quite funny when you humiliated all the students", Kakashi growled. He was much more scary than Sasuke. "A hug or two isn't that dangerous. I was fine with taking me in, too. But involving my book - " the volume of his voice reached an unbearable amount of decibels - "I WON'T FORGIVE!"

"Eeek", Nils let out. It wasn't sure whether to get scared or not.

"You can't do anything to me", it tried. "I'm the great Nils Börje, the undefeatable scr... scroll..."

Kakashi ignored the scroll and just roared. Nils whined and turned around to escape, but it was shocked to find out it wasn't moving an inch.

"Get off me!" it screamed at the students who were hanging on its 'tail'. They had noticed Nils drifting lower and lower and finally caught it just in time.

"Now!" shouted Anko. The teachers quickly formed a circle [except Ebisu, who was now at Konohamaru's mercy] and started the jutsu from the beginning.

"Eat mud, toilet paper!" Kakashi brayed. "KAMEHAMEHA!"

"Wha - ?" some of the genins stuttered as they saw the huge ray of light strike Nils. The fake Naruto [who was still around] grinned and bragged:

"He copied it with his Sharingan!"

"Keep distracting it, Kakashi!" yelled Anko. Naruto, who had grabbed the scroll along some others, climbed up the scroll and grasped its neck [if it had one] to prevent it from speaking. Nils was squirming in panic. Kakashi was preparing another attack, but it was unnecessary. The senseis jutsu was ready.

"Nooo!" Nils screamed as it noticed how its 'tail' was beginning to wrap itself. The genins hanging onto it let go as the scroll kept wrapping itself. Finally, Naruto loosened his grip and said gleefully:

"Good riddance, scroll sucker!"

POP.

Naruto got up and looked at Sakura, who had come to help him. The kunoichi's eyes were relieved, and she couldn't help but smile.

"It's gone!" she sighed. Naruto grinned and followed his teammate to the circle of slimy ninjas, who were all staring at the scroll on the ground. It looked completely harmless.

"Shit", the scroll hissed. Kakashi landed his foot on it, content.

"That's what you get when you mess with things like MY books", he laughed.

"Enough of this crap", Anko burst out. She went to pick the scroll up. "Who was it? Who let this goddamn scroll loose?!"

The shinobi looked at each other.

"It wasn't us!" Sakura said. "We weren't even close to it, I swear!"

"We were behind them", explained Temari.

"It wasn't us either!" assured Hinata.

"Then it had to be you guys!" said Rock Lee, pointing at Shikamaru. The boy flinched.

"It could have been you too!" he yelled back.

"I know who it was", Kakashi interrupted.

Everyone looked at him.

"It wasn't you", he said quietly, pointing at his team. "Or you", he continued and pointed at the Sand team. "Or you, or you or you." He pointed at each of the teams, who gasped in confusion:

"Then who was it?!"

"There was no one besides us in that corridor!" claimed Kiba.

"Oh yes there was", Kakashi smiled. He turned to look at a lonely dune and asked:

"Why don't you already come here... Gai?"

Especially loud gasps could be heard from Lee's team as the thick-eyebrowed sensei rose from the sand, looking very guilty.

"Gai-sensei...?" whispered Lee, not believing his eyes.

"Gai...? What? You were there last time, too! Why would you... Why did you...?" stuttered Iruka. The rest of them just stood their mouths wide open.

"Well, I..." muttered Gai, his gaze locked in the ground. "I... I just wanted to win Kakashi so much and I thought... I didn't know it was Nils... I'm sorry..."

"I don't believe this", Anko said blankly. "I really don't have anything to say." Obviously she changed her opinion, for the next moment she roared:

"HOW COULD YOU?!! You knew how dangerous that scroll is, unless you had some serious brain injury! How could you even imagine taking it?! The genins are one thing! You are a jounin, goddammit!"

"Gai-sensei... I can't believe he could do something like this..." sobbed Rock Lee. Tenten was holding his hand, trying to comfort him.

"We'll discuss this later", Hayate decided. "Now, he have to correct everything we can."

"That's right, Sasuke", remembered Kakashi. "And someone needs to open this jutsu. Will you do it, Asuma, Kurenai, Iruka?"

"Hey, wait", Ino said hastily. "This desert and the syrup and everything, it's still here. How do we get rid of it?"

"It'll fade away", Hayate told her and moved away from the opening the other three senseis were forming. "In two or three weeks."

"You mean sensei is going to be a frog for two weeks?" asked Konohamaru, seeing endless chances. Anko took Ebisu from him.

"I'll take this", she stated. "Until he becomes human again, he'll need special care."

Konohamaru pouted for a while, but soon the scroll drew his attention. A scroll that could make his sensei a frog was truly amazing. What else could it do?

"What are you doing? Get out of here", Anko told him and shooed him away. The teams were already walking through the hole in the air. Sakura brought the rice cooker to Kakashi and let the sensei open it. A flash was seen, and a panting Sasuke was sitting on the ground, her/his eyes round and wide. His/her original clothes had been restored earlier along with everyone else's.

"Welcome back, Sasuke", Kakashi greeted and stuffed the rice cooker into his pocket to accompany the Sailor Moon. "How was it?"

Sasuke looked at him as though s/he was no longer able to see. Then, s/he gasped a couple of times and fainted.

"Sasuke-kun!" yelled Sakura and ran to help the boy/girl. Naruto just smirked.

"It was just a rice cooker", he laughed. Kakashi looked at him disapprovingly.

"Enough. Let's go home", he said, pointing at their 'door' that was being held open by Kurenai and Asuma. Gai stepped through it followed by a displeased Anko and an undisturbed Baki.

"So, Sasuke will turn back into a boy?" asked Naruto, more bored than curious.

"I think so. Most of them are restored completely", Kakashi answered. "Some consequenses are permanent, though."

For some weird reason, this comment made them look at Hayate, who was the last one on this side besides them and the door holders. He coughed a bit and stepped to the other side.

"You mean he's coughing because of that scroll...?" Sakura asked carefully.

"You should have seen what it fed to him!" Kakashi sighed pity in his voice.

"What?!" yelled both Sakura and Naruto.

"It's too disgusting to say aloud", Kakashi said. "I'll tell you more later. I hope you have learned something from this."

He showed his teacher colleagues a peace sign and made his way through the hole. Naruto and Sakura, both carrying the unconscious Sasuke, turned to look back at the desert and the ocean that was now light brown of the syrup. Then they looked at Sasuke and his/her body of a girl. Then they looked at each other. Without saying a word, they carried Sasuke through the hole.

"Heeeey, wait for mee!" yelled the false Naruto, still in the wedding dress, running to the door.

The end datte ba yo~!