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REALLY OLD HALLOWEEN JOKES!

What does a ghost call home on?
The Terror Phone.
Where do Ghost go the day before Halloween?
The Boo-ty parlor.
Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?
Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
What are a Ghost's favorite days?
Moan-day and Fright-day.
Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin
The robot turned into a Ghost because
he couldn't rust in peace.
What is the difference between an adult and a ghost?
One is all grown and one is all groan.
What is a Ghost's favorite game?
Hide and Shriek!
What's the difference between a Ghost
and peanut butter?
One doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth.
What did the daddy Ghost say to his son?
Don't spook until spooken to.
What's the difference between Ghost
and patched jeans?
Ghost are dead men. Patched jeans are Men-ded.
Where do Ghost go shopping?
The Boo-tiques.
Who did the Ghost invite to his party?
Everyone he could dig up.

WITCHES

What did the Witch say to the ugly toad?
I'd put a curse on you but someone beat me to it.
How did the Witch get around after
her broomstick broke?
She Witch-hiked.
Why do mummies make excellent spies?
They're good at keeping things under wraps.
What did the teenage witch say to her mother?
May I have the keys to the broom tonight?
Why do witches ride their brooms after dark?
That's the time to go sweep.
What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash and wear wolf.
What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
They boo-kle their seatbelts.
Why do Witches fly on brooms?
Because vacum cleaner cords are not long enough.
What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula.
Why don't witches look in mirrors?
Because it's a shattering experience.
Why do teachers like Halloween?
There's lot's of school spirit.
How do you make a Witch scratch?
Take away the W.
Why do Witches have broomsticks?
They don't have bikes.
Advice to a Witch on a broomstick.
"Don't fly off at the handle."
What is the difference between
a witch and C-A-S-T-S?
One casts spells the other spells casts.
What do Witches plant in the garden?
Posion Ivy.
Why is a Witch like a candle?
They are both wick-ed.
What turns off the lights at night?
The light-Witch.
What subject do Witches like best?
Spelling.
Teacher,"We'll only have a half a day of school this morning."
Kids,"Yeah!"
Teacher,"We'll have the second half this afternoon."
Kids,"Groan"
What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer.
Why does a witch wear a pointed black hat?
To keep her head warm.
A little Ghost went trick-a-treating.
Neighbor ask,"Who are your parents?"Little Ghost,"Mummy and Deady."

MORE REALLY BAD HALLOWEEN JOKES!

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