April
Fool’s Day.
© Tim
Barker, 2000
They were sitting in the corner, eating beans on toast and puzzling
over the days crossword when Eliza suddenly stood up and said to Frank :
"Darling, will you please pass me the brown sauce ?" Frank responded
by grabbing a fork and thrusting it into Elizas right eye. Blood spurted
everywhere, much to the horror of the cafés other customers.
Meanwhile, across the other side of
town, Pete was delivering the morning papers. He was a little behind schedule
and in a bit of a hurry as he had to get to school for 9.00 a.m. He was just
pushing the last paper through the Thompson’s letterbox when the door suddenly
swung open and out came an Alsation, teeth exposed in its powerful jaw. The dog
leapt up and firmly anchored its gnashers around Pete’s throat. The path was a
bloody mess.
The calls seemed to come through all
at once. Sergeant Cox had received a dozen or more from distressed citizens all
over town within the space of five minutes. All of his available manpower had
been deployed and he was the only one left in the station. Someone had to keep
the home fires burning. At first he'd put it down to April Fool’s pranks as it
was the first day of the fourth month but on investigation they had all been
legitimate reports. He just couldn't take it any more. He took out his
revolver, held the barrel in his mouth and pulled the trigger.
By 12 o'clock the mayhem had ceased
to be. Forty 'incidents' had been reported all over town, including Sergeant
Cox. It was always the same in Arlington on April Fools Day.