Things you didn't know
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The Unofficial Fansite
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Sure he was a bad ass kick ass son of a bitch, but everyone has their weaknessess. Kojak could never so no to a lollipop, Superman would never eat anything made with Kryptonite and Gary Glitter could never say no to a little boy.... or two. Before you go into battle with the baddest guy in the universe, you had better take careful note of our....

Seven ways to defeat Darth Vader

  1. Get an ordinary flashlight. Then take some red selifane and place over the lamp of the flashlight. Once completed, do the ol switcharoo with Darth's lightsaber. He'll soon be looking for spare parts at the local wreckers, ruing the day he messed with you! (note: make sure to switch lightsaber before battle.)

  2. Lure him into a duel in a humid area eg. a sauna. The sight glass on his helmet will then fog up, making him easier to defeat than the english football team.

  3. Invite him out on the piss the night before. Order rounds of tequila. When it comes to drinking, sneakily tip yours out while he's not looking. If you're lucky enough he'll still be pretty pissed by the next day, in which you can easily fuck him up.

  4. Instead of using lightsabers, challenge him to a game of marbles. He'll have no chance with those big fucking gloves he wears.

  5. Tell Vader that your from Family Services, and that unless he lets you win, you will have him charged for not making any child support payments for the last twenty years. When he works out how much interest that will be he'll be begging you to kill him.

  6. Mouth words to him, but don't make any sound. When he turns the audio up on his helmet the sound of an ant will be piercing to his ears, throwing him off balance, and making sure its the first, and last time he falls for that one.

  7. Tell him the safety is on, on his lightsaber. When he looks to turn it off let loose with a violent screaming onslaught. The fight will be over before Vader can say "You dirty bastard!".

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