Title: Nightmares and Shadows
Author:  Rosemary Klein-Robbins
Rating: PG-13
Sequel to: Dreams
Pairings: This is a hard one. There are actual and inferred pairings.
Spoiler: Small allusion to Cor’Ai
Summary: “…truth I’m proud to say, is in the mind of the beholder…” Really? I would like to note the author of that statement, but I really don't know.
Lyrics to ‘Knights in White Satin’ by the Moody Blues, ‘Fire and Rain’ by James Taylor, and ‘You’re all I’ve got tonight' by the Cars used without permission.
Disclaimers: SG-1 and all that entails does not belong to this author, no monetary considerations are exchanged in the writing of this piece of fiction. It was written purely for amusement.
Author’s notes: Once again my everlasting thanx and gratitude to my Ghost Editor-Sarae. Thanks for really believing that this sequel could be written and that I would be able to do it. To my Third Eye in the UK-thanx Aud. You pitched in and took control of the editing and yes, I now know what POV is-really. Y’all are the best.

Nightmares & Shadows
©2003 by Rosemary Klein-Robbins

…Beauty I’ve always missed, with these eyes before
Just what the truth is, I can’t say anymore…
~The Moody Blues-‘Knights in White Satin’

Nighttime always seemed to be the worst. It seemed to bring out the worst in others, and in himself. But mostly in himself.

Jack O’Neill stood by the picture window in his living room. A real window to his world. He pulled open the curtains and raised the blinds when darkness fell.

Looking into the darkness, he noticed how the light of the street lamps played upon the dark. Light filtered in and out of the darkness. The light touched some objects and not others, which caused shadows to appear.

Many things, he knew, hid in shadows. Nightmares hid in shadows.

And, as the man by window was well aware, nightmares grew by leaps and bounds in the shadows.

Jack took a sip of the golden liquid in his shot glass. He savored the fine oaken-barreled taste of the Tennessee whiskey. He left the window and walked over to the table where he’d left his bottle of beer. Finishing his shot, he took a swig of the beer and grimaced.

He sat down in his recliner and put his feet up. Taking another sip of his beer, he thought about his latest session with Dr. McKenzie. It had been six months, six long, hard months of memories and of pain.

“Colonel O’Neill?” McKenzie’s voice was shrill and exasperated. “Please!”

Jack stood silently by the window, rigid. His stance brooked no interference. He didn’t want to go over his kidnapping again. He had returned to duty. Albeit administrative-which was limiting, only because he could not go off world. But he’d handled worse. He’d lived through worse.

“Jack?” McKenzie’s voice took on a pleading tone. “If you want to go back to off-world duty, we have to continue.”

Jack turned hard brown eyes on McKenzie.

The Hunter still lived in Jack. McKenzie was never more aware of it, than when Jack’s eyes were hard and dark.

And like quicksilver, the eyes softened, as did his face and demeanor and he answered softly.

“Yes, I know.” He stopped to consider his words. “I just don’t want to.”

“You still don’t believe what was told to you or what you remember?” Dr. McKenzie asked him.

Jack shrugged.

“It doesn’t really matter what I believe.” Jack answered. “Does it?”

McKenzie shook his head. He wondered if the Colonel really wanted to be on off-world assignments. He knew that O’Neill was restless. The security cameras had shown him prowling his office and he was more silent these days, with his words and his movements.

McKenzie was also aware of Jack’s military background. General Hammond felt it was essential that McKenzie be familiar with what his patient had been involved in. What the good Doctor read wasn’t pretty. During one of their earlier sessions Jack had informed him quite plainly that he had done “some damn distasteful things.” Jack had then proceeded to tell him some of it.

It didn’t surprise McKenzie then, that his patient would be upset about his recent actions and behaviors. That Jack didn’t remain hidden behind the shadows, but came out and attempted to regain control of his life, said quite a bit about his character and his inner strength. But still…

Jack ate, slept, and functioned. He was still Jack O’Neill in his appearance, but a different one in his actions. More focused, restricted and unemotional, like he’d locked away who he was, because he was afraid of what he had been.

The next morning’s sun shone through the unprotected living room window and put its full light on the sleeping man in the recliner. The heat of the morning sun, magnified by the glass of the window, settled itself on the man. Eventually, he woke up.

Jack put the recliner back into its normal position and stood up. He stretched and bent over backwards to loosen up his back. His mouth tasted like a brewery gone mad. He silently made his way to the bathroom to get his aching body into some sort of presentable shape and then headed to the mountain.

Cheyenne Mountain: home to many things, but only one remains deep underground in fact and in secret.

Jack thought about that irony while he took the elevator down to the 28th level of the mountain. Right now, there were many things in his memory that were deep underground and in secret.

One of his secrets resided on the 19th level. He had not been able to bring himself to talk with Carter about what happened. He couldn’t even bring himself to talk about it with Beth. Not even McKenzie reached the secret chamber in his memory. The chamber that he kept locked away, even from himself.

His friends wondered at the silent man he had become. The soldier he had become. The secret he had become.

For all intents and purposes, he didn’t talk to any of his old team members, unless of course he had to. More specifically, he spoke no more than necessary to Major Carter. Oh, he was polite and correct and responsive. He even managed to sincerely thank her for helping to bring him “back”, whatever that meant.

He distanced himself from Sam because he felt that she was hiding something from him. Something that she didn’t want him to know. Something that ‘HE’ did in that other place and that other time, when he was that other person. Something that would permanently drive a wedge between them. He remembered asking her about their time together in captivity and she had been evasive with her answers. Frustrated, he’d turned to his friend, Beth. She too, avoided answering him. He kept wondering, what he had done to drive away the two women that he loved, and who loved him back. And so, he withdrew from them. He returned to watching them from a distance. With Carter. He would go around to her lab and watch her work, but only when no one else was there to see. For Beth, he would hear from her, but their conversation never progressed past the impersonal chitchat about her sons.

Daniel Jackson, however, noticed Jack watching from the distance and it frustrated him. Jack would chat with him and Teal’c and a sort of easy pattern returned to their interactions. However, whenever Sam was there or when he knew she would be joining them, Jack managed to …well…disappear, almost by magic. Almost as if he had never been there. Daniel noticed Sam’s anger, frustration and sadness. She knew he was watching her from a distance, but he never approached her and she knew he always managed to extricate himself whenever she was around. Daniel had seen and heard her toss objects around her lab in frustration whenever she thought no one was there to hear or to see.

Sam was doing that again this morning. Daniel decided it was time to step in.

“Sam?” Daniel walked in and called her name in a questioning manner.

“Oh, Daniel!” Sam stopped, slamming her lab notes on the table and turned to see her friend come into the lab.

Daniel knew she was berating herself for falling in love with such a complicated man. He knew he could be difficult as well, but he was certain that he was approachable when he had those spells.

“Sam, don’t you think it is time that you talk to Jack?” Daniel began. “I don’t think your lab notes can take anymore abuse, do you?”

Sam growled in frustration and attempted to breathe, she looked liked she wanted to smack him on the head with her laptop.

“What in the hell do you think I’ve been trying to do, these last few months?” Sam was clearly exasperated.

Yeah, Daniel thought, we men are so obtuse.

Daniel knew Sam had tried to talk to Jack ever since the rescue and immediately following his discharge from the hospital. One minute they were talking about baseball and the next, he just shut her out. Sam had told him that when she cornered Jack about it two weeks ago, he had told her that it was *she* that had shut him out. Jack hadn’t elaborated and wouldn’t answer any more questions.

“You have to keep trying.” Daniel was insistent.

“Daniel, do you honestly believe that I am just going to sit back and let him just disappear?” Sam asked him. Her tone was as testy as her manner.

“And…” Sam continued, “I am not the only one he has shut out.”

“Beth?” Daniel asked.

Sam nodded and grimaced. “She is so lucky in the fact that she can really tell him what she is thinking. Unfortunately, she has decided that the time and the energy spent on expending the respiratory effort, not to mention the strain on her vocal chords was not worth the caloric disbursement. Especially since his auditory intake functions appear to be not working.”

“In other words,” Daniel translated, “he is pretending not to hear her and it is isn’t worth the energy to yell at him.”

Sam laughed and nodded. “Exactly.”

Sam looked at the lab notes that were now spread all over her desk, which had, at one point, been the pride of her lab. It was once neat, clean and uncluttered. Just like her life used to be.

“She has given up trying to get him to open up. The colonel has also accused her of hiding something from him and until we, meaning Beth and I, tell him the truth, there is nothing to say.”

“Are you?” Daniel asked her suddenly. His blue eyes gazed intently on her facial features, to see if she was hiding something. Not only from Jack, but also from the rest of them. “Are you hiding something from him and from all of us?”

Sam shook her head. Her blond hair swung back and forth with the violence of the motion.

“What Colonel O’Neill wants to hear from us, is not what happened. It is what he thinks happened. And he won’t believe me or Beth, no matter what we say.”

“He thinks he hurt you.” Daniel took of his glasses and stared into the distance. “He thinks he did more than just scare you. He thinks he assaulted you.”

Putting his glasses back on, he turned to face Sam, concentrating. “Why doesn’t he believe you?”

“He thinks,” Sam told him, “that Beth put me up to lying to him to protect him. He believes that she would do anything to keep him from dealing with those painful memories and that I went along with it.”

“After seven years, he thinks that you would flat out lie to him?” Daniel was stunned. “Just like that?”

“McKenzie told us that we ought to only answer the questions he asks us, and answer them as honestly as we can, without pointing fingers or blaming or laying guilt.” Sam reminded Daniel. “That is what we did. He wants us to tell him everything, without his remembering anything.”

Sam once again shook her head, with a little less violence to the motion. “That I will not do. If he doesn’t remember it, I don’t want him to be led to a memory.”

Daniel left her lab soon after that conversation. He considered the conversations he’d had with Jack since he’d returned. Jack had become a very different man. Daniel found this Jack O’Neill to be more silent, more secretive and Daniel also felt he was a man with a deep and hidden well of anger and sadness.

Daniel considered his conversation with Sam. Jack felt that Sam and Beth were hiding something from him. Something that was dark and terrible. Something that seemed to match the dark and terrible memories that Daniel felt Jack had kept buried.

Daniel didn’t believe for a moment that Jack did anything that Sam would lie about. Daniel guessed that Beth would most probably stretch things to protect Jack, but she seemed to be able to confront him on issues that needed to see the light of day. The ease between Beth and Jack, when they had confronted issues, such as the court martial, showed that neither one ducked when it became necessary to confront.

Daniel decided he needed to go and talk to Jack one more time. He needed to try and get him to open up and to understand. That was going to be the tricky part. Jack insisted that no one else understood. He claimed to understand, far too well, the darkness in his soul and that unless Sam and Beth were willing to hand him the flashlights, as it were, it would remain dark.

Daniel came upon Jack’s office and knocked on the door. At Jack’s answering call to come in, Daniel took a deep breath and went in.

Jack’s office was a dark as his soul. There was only the small light of his desk lamp on. Daniel felt that it was a significant view into Jack’s psyche. The small candle to light the darkness he felt cursed him.

“Hey Jack,” Daniel started.

Jack only nodded and looked at his friend. Jack’s eyes were hidden in the shadows of the room and Daniel wished he could see them. He wanted to see Jack’s eyes; just to see if the shadow of the man he knew was lurking there, waiting for someone to help him come out.

Daniel, with some hesitation in his voice told Jack that he had just come from Sam’s lab.

“And…” Jack prodded.

“And…” Daniel answered, “I think you are short changing her.” He felt it was better to get to the point. “I think that you really need to try again to listen to what she has to say.”

“Daniel,” Jack’s voice rose with the exasperation he was feeling and had felt for a long time. “You have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Don’t I?” Daniel shot back. “You don’t think any of us are capable of hearing or seeing?”

Daniel’s temper was starting to come forward. He never really considered himself a mild mannered individual, but growing up more or less on his own, taught him when to shout and when to shut up. Right now, the urge to shout was overcoming his urge to shut up.

“Why would you think that Sam would be lying to you?” Daniel questioned. “You’ve worked with her for seven years. Has she ever given you any reason to believe that she would do anything to leave you stranded emotionally, if she could help you?”

Jack laughed. But it wasn’t a laughter that had any mirth or joy. “You’re kidding, right?”

Daniel very softy told Jack that he was *not* kidding.

Jack let out a breath and sat back in his chair. His features receded deeper into the shadows.

“I have and will continue to always trust Major…” Daniel couldn’t miss the emphasis on the word ‘Major’, “…Carter with my life on our missions, Daniel.”

“But you won’t trust her with your heart or your soul?” Daniel responded.

Jack made no answering comment to Daniel’s statement and the silence stretched.

“You don’t really know her at all do you, Jack?” With that, Daniel turned and left Jack’s office.

In the darkness surrounding him, Jack thought about Daniel’s parting shot.

“You’re wrong, Daniel,” Jack thought, “I know her far too well.”

Jack closed his eyes and thought about his very first memory of what happened to him. It was as clear and a sharp a memory as he had about anything he did in his life. It happened during his first session with Dr. McKenzie. It was then that Jack received the full impact of the hell they dragged him back from.

“Colonel O’Neill?” McKenzie looked at the man sitting in the chair across from him. The man’s face was etched with pain. “Tell me what just flashed through your mind.”

Jack slowly opened his eyes. The brown of his eyes were darkened. They were shadowed with the sudden remembrance of a memory that was still fighting to work it’s way through to the surface of his mind.

“I remember a group of men showing up in my kitchen out of nowhere.” Jack began slowly. “I was opening my refrigerator to get out a beer and then a flash of light and these …” he stopped for a minute to gather his thoughts, “and these oddly dressed men just came at me. I had never seen anyone dressed as they were before.”

Jack suddenly got up from his chair and walked over to the window in the office that McKenzie was using to work with him. The windows view was of a park. The trees were bare. There was no color to the grass, or the flowers or even the world he was looking at. The lack of color in the world, appealed to him right now. There was none inside of him, so it was only proper that the world should have none as well.

“Jack?” McKenzie thought maybe if he appealed to the man, instead of the rank, maybe he could get Jack to re-focus and continue talking.

Jack turned away from the window to look at the man still sitting in the chair opposite to the one he had been in.

“McKenzie, they came at me. Chased me through my house. Waved some chemical smoke under my nose. The next thing I am aware of is being naked in a cell with a Goa’uld looking down at me.”

“How did you know he was a Goa’uld?” McKenzie asked. He chose to not mention Jack being naked or tied up. That trauma would need to be dealt with later, but he was curious as to how Jack knew the man looking at him was Goa’uld.

“I really don’t know how I felt it. I mean, I’ve had brushes with Goa’uld symbiotes before, but none of them were actually in me long enough to leave much of an impression. However, with Angra Mainyu…it was a deep-rooted feeling of awareness.” Jack paused to collect his thoughts.

“Anyway,” Jack walked back to his chair and sat down, “once he opened his mouth, it pretty much erased all doubt.”

“What happened then?” McKenzie prodded.

Jack laughed shortly and answered. “Then? Then he batted me around the cell a little bit with his hand device. He said to get my attention. And then forced me to drink some foul tasting wine. And after that, I don’t remember very much.”

McKenzie knew Jack didn’t exactly tell him the truth. Jack had once told McKenzie that he didn’t remember ‘very much’, but he did remember hearing voices after that drink. Voices that told him a new life was awaiting him. A life more suited to the warrior that resided within him, the Hunter.

Jack then fell silent and the rest of their session had McKenzie watching Jack walk around the office and look and touch the knickknacks and furniture in the room.

The waiting room of the 4th Street Clinic was full for Friday morning. It was only 9:00 AM and the clinic was packed. The secretary shook her head and smiled slightly. It was always like that when Dr. Greene was on the schedule.

Evie wondered what was happening with her. When Dr. Greene returned from Colorado three months ago, she called a meeting of the Clinic staff and informed them that she was, for the time being, only going to be seeing patients on a limited basis. When questioned about it, Dr. Greene shook her head and said that Fridays and Monday afternoons would be her scheduled patient times and that she would be concentrating on the administrative side of the clinic. She also told them, that if those two days of direct patient contact were going to be a problem for her, she would drop back to Fridays only. Dr. Greene then abruptly adjourned the meeting and went into her office.

Evie was busy answering the phone when the tall Naval officer walked into the clinic.

Evie looked up, saw that it was Commander Samuels and smiled broadly at him. Aside from the fact the she felt he was ‘drop dead gorgeous’, she raved for hours about his eye color to anyone who would listen. Commander Benjamin Samuels appeared to be the only one that would be able to get Dr. Greene to come out of her cave.

Ben smiled back at Evie and pointed to Beth’s office door and Evie smiled and indicated he could go ahead in and wait for her.

Ben was aware that this was one of her patient days and expected that she would be awhile.

Ben walked around Beth’s office. He was glad that she hadn’t totally withdrawn from everyone and everything. His thoughts went back to when he found out about her being kidnapped along with Major Samantha Carter, their rescue and Beth’s participation in Jack O’Neill’s rescue. Ben wondered if all of that just combined to overwhelm her.

She had come back from Colorado and made some abrupt changes in her life. He felt a sense of relief that he wasn’t one of them. After informing her staff of her cutback on patient care and her assumption of more administrative duties, she’d gone straight to her hair salon and promptly had her haircut. It took him some time to get used to the short mass of curls that reached her collarbone. The pink and purple hair wrap was, thankfully, not the only piece of whimsy that she’d allowed to remain in her life. Her office still had the various prints and statues of unicorns. Ben also knew that a light had also gone out in her. “Jack O’Neill!” Ben thought, “Damn the man!”

Ben was so intent on his thoughts about Jack and what Beth was going through, he hadn’t realized the passage of time and was startled when the door abruptly opened and Beth Greene walked in.

“Ben?” Beth said with some surprise. “I didn’t think you would hang around this long?”

Ben looked at her, questioning her with his eyes.

“It’s 10:30,” Beth answered his unspoken question. “I would have thought that you would’ve left me a note rather than hang out here all morning.”

Ben walked over to her and held open his arms. She walked into them and savored the strong feel of his arms around her.

Ben kissed the top of her head and then holding her away from him, so he could look into her eyes, he answered her. “I have the day off today. Thought I would try and get my ‘best girl’ to come and eat lunch today.”

“Lunch?” Beth frowned in concentration. “I seem to remember hearing that word before. But I can’t remember what it means.” Then she smiled and laughed. “Okay, who ratted on me?”

Ben laughed. “Everyone.” He answered and then his face turned serious. “Beth, you haven’t been eating much and you haven’t been sleeping much either.” His right thumb slowly rubbed under her left eye. He looked at the bruised smudge under that eye and her right one. They showed the signs of someone that hadn’t slept well and hadn’t rested well when she did sleep. He should know. The nights he was there, he barely got sleep.

”Your office closes from 12:30 – 2:00 for lunch. Come with me.” He voice held a plea to it. Her meals had consisted of chips and crystal lite. Sometimes, she even managed carrots. The only time he was sure she had a normal dinner was when he brought it to her, because he wasn’t able to convince her to leave her house to go out.

Beth leaned up and kissed his cheek. Her right hand caressed his left cheek and she smiled. It didn’t quite reach the gold of her eyes, but there was, Ben noted, a small sparkle still there.

He smiled and then squeezed her hands and left her office.

“Jack O’Neill,” he thought angrily, “you have a lot to answer for.”

Beth stared at the door to her office after Ben closed it. She couldn’t help but wonder what was going on inside Ben’s brain. She refused to talk to him about what happened and there was an awareness that he knew about the nightmares. How could he not? Beth would only really talk to one person about it. She and Sam Carter burned up the satellite dishes with their phones, talking. However, she and Jon…well, it seemed that the only thing they were intent on burning up, was each other.

Sitting down at her desk, she put her head in her hands and remembered quite well what she was feeling when she came back to DC three months ago. Jon was still recovering, but she could no longer stay in Colorado. From the time he was rescued to the time she returned to her practice, three months had gone by. She could no longer handle everything by phone, fax or e-mail. She also had to admit that she was pretty well fried by the time she returned.

Beth called her meeting the Monday she came back. The staff did not know what to say to her. They were told only that a friend of hers had been in very bad shape and that she needed to be in Colorado with him. The meeting was short and sweet and afterwards, Beth went over to her hair stylist and said only two words: “Cut it.” Her hair went from being mid-back to being chin length. Now, it rested on her collar. Her only whimsical acknowledgement was the hair wrap that Evie’s daughter had made for her.

Sitting back in her chair and thought of her latest ‘conversation’. If one could call it that with Jon.

“Damn him,” was really her only coherent thought concerning their phone call. “Why does he insist on making things more difficult than they already are?”

Jon kept insisting that Beth was hiding something from him. He had a memory that didn’t jive with what she told him. No amount of promising, swearing, screaming or yelling budged him from that thought. Beth kept imagining smacking him upside his head with a two-by-four. The phone conversation ended abruptly, with nothing resolved on either end.

Shaking her head, Beth got up and headed out of her office. She still had her patients to see and whatever lay unresolved with Jon could wait. Well, it would wait. They were nowhere near finished.

The lush green forest surrounded a lake that encircled a camp. The men in the camp trained from dawn to dusk. They trained by smelling and tasting the flowers and plants around them, and by tracking the few animals that were brought in for that job. Their training seemed to be harsher than it had been six months ago. Their Master was very angry. One of their newest acquisitions had been taken. He had showed much promise and the Master had had high hopes for him. The Master was angry when they’d came back and found his prey gone, but it was nothing compared to his anger when the Hunter was taken.

Angra Mainyu had let his displeasure show quite clearly. With his hand device he blasted a hole through the wall where the women had been held. He had paid quite handsomely for his human hunter and wanted him back. He had, of course, contacted the Slave Dealer and told him of the theft and the dealer had promised that they would get him back…with the women, if that were what he wanted. Oh, he had wanted the women back of course, but he also wanted the Tok’ra and Jaffa men that helped as well. The Dealer said that they knew who and where these people were, and promised they would be captured.

Sam had been unable to sleep because of her discussion with Daniel earlier that day. She still remembered the Colonel asking her some rather pointed and personal questions about what happened on that planet. Putting both of her hands through her hair as she was looking in the bathroom mirror, she could only frown at her reflection. Sam then placed both of her hands on the sink and looked at her face in front of her. She focused her attention on her eyes, as if she could use the mirror image to look into what happened. No matter what she did though, her memories and those of the Colonel’s, didn’t appear to be even in the same reality.

Sam closed her eyes for a few minutes and then opened them again. The shadowed and haunted look was still there.

“Why?” she wondered again, “Did the Colonel have different memories?” Sam and Dr. Greene had talked it over between them many times during the last several months. Sam thought back on a particularly disturbing memory that Jack had had.

“I remember,” Jack began, “watching the two of you while you slept.”

He walked around her lab picking up odds and ends near where she was sitting.

He stopped wandering and suddenly pulled up a stool and sat very close to her. His eyes dark with concentration and continued his memory.

“I remember opening the cell door and looking down at both of you. Angra Mainyu said that I needed to watch you sleep and see how close I could get to you both, without waking you up. He also suggested that I…I,” Jack stuttered and paused. He looked at Sam with some pain in his eyes. “He wanted me to touch you.”

Sam looked at him. She knew that questions were evident in her eyes.

“Sam, he didn’t want me just to put my hand on your head,” Jack told her.

When he was finished explaining what his memory told him, Sam could only look at him.

She was sure that episode never happened. No one ever came into their cell with them. Sure, they were aware that they were being watched, but with the exception of the Goa’uld, neither Jack, nor anyone else, came in.

Sam told Jack that he was mistaken. “Sir, that never happened.”

Jack looked at her, his eyes clearly not believing her.

Sam took the extra mile to put her right hand on his left arm. “It never happened, Sir.”

Sam remembered the look in Jack’s eyes. It was almost as if he came out and asked “Why are you lying? Why can’t you just admit the truth?”

“Well Sir,” Sam thought, “It is the truth. But you won’t believe me.”

Sam then pulled away from the sink, turned out the bathroom light and crawled into her bed. She wondered how she was going to sleep tonight. She wondered if she was going stay up and worry herself sick about this problem with the Colonel.

She shook her head and leaned over to turn out her bedside lamp.

It was surprising how fast she fell asleep that night. What was even more surprising was how quickly the dream came. How disturbing the dream was. How it made her sit up, suddenly gasping for breath.

He stood outside the cell door watching the huddled, rag-covered figure sleep. Angra Mainyu had just been there with him. Pushing him to go into the cell to take her. Or he could stay in the cell and do what Angra knew he wanted to do with that woman. It didn’t matter if the other was in there, he could have her as well. The metallic laughter after that comment made the man uncomfortable. Something did not feel right to the Hunter when that comment was made. About having the other as well. Not that “having” the blonde one was right either.

The Hunter took in the breathing of the blonde woman. He noted when she became aware of his presence outside the cell. He noted the change in her essence as her consciousness took in his arousal and his desire. It matched her rising awareness and desire for him. He knew that she fought it. Every time he touched her, he noted her body’s response to him. And his body’s to her.

Sam was unsure how she knew that “He” was there. Outside her cell, watching, waiting. Her nose took in the smell of the air around them. It wasn’t just being a member of the great unwashed that she noted, but of the sharp desire she had for that man. It was only heightened because in this place, there were no rooms to hide things in. No doors to lock away feelings and desires that were just not appropriate, at least, not right now.

Sam tried to force her breathing to even and tried to relax herself back to sleep, to keep her eyes closed so that the man outside her cell wouldn’t see that the desire he had for her, was reflected in her eyes.

The Hunter knew that she was pretending. He noted the shift in her breathing from sleep to wakefulness. He also knew that she feared to show what she was feeling and so he turned from the cell and walked away.

Sam thought she heard him say something as he left. A small sound on the wind, “Sam.”

Commander Samuels pulled up to the Brownstone building and parked his car. It was midnight and the street was deserted. Walking from his car to the steps of the building was an easy thing to do. Bringing himself to walk up the stairs and knock on the door, well, that was something else entirely.

Lunch had not gone quite the way he’d wanted it to. Ben had once again attempted to get Beth to talk to him. It was the nightmares that he really wanted to talk to her about. Beth had only looked at him and shaken her head. She hadn’t argued with him or gotten angry.

“Hell,” He thought standing at the bottom of the stairs leading to her house, “she didn’t even raise her voice.”

Letting out a breath, Ben resolutely climbed the stairs and rang the doorbell; before he lost whatever nerve he managed to work up.

“Coming,” an irritated voice called out.

Beth, in her purple terry cloth robe opened the door and let Ben in. She hardly seemed to notice that it was him, or that he was there rather late for a visit.

Beth motioned him to come in and shut the door behind him. He noted that she was listening very intently to the voice on the other end of the phone and by her facial expression, was not happy with what she was hearing.

Beth finally broke into the middle of the conversation.

“Look,” she said curtly, “I have listened to as much of your crap as I am going to take. That order had better be unpacked and stocked by the time I walk in there tomorrow morning, or I will pull the contract with your company.”

Ben sat down on the well-worn recliner and was quite relieved to know it wasn’t Jack she was having this argument with. This supplier had caused Beth considerable headaches and it amazed him that they would be bothering her this late.

After a few more choice bits of information, Beth finally concluded the conversation.

“Sorry,” she said to him, her voice a little more quiet than before. “Some idiot on the West Coast whose local company is really screwing things up here.”

She then pulled the tie to her robe a little tighter and sat on the sofa next to the chair that Ben was sitting in. She cocked her head, looked at him and indicated that he should say whatever it was he wanted to say.

“Beth, I’m sorry,” Ben began. His voice was soft, uncertain and hesitant.

Beth looked confused. Her amber eyes were showing the puzzlement she felt.

“About what?” she asked him.

“About lunch and the questions.”

“Ah!” she sat back onto the cushions of the sofa and drew her legs under her. “Lunch.”

“Yes, lunch.” Ben really wanted to hold her and just, hold her. He was uncertain as to how she would respond. She hadn’t said much during or after lunch. She’d kissed him, when he brought her back to the clinic, as opposed to him initiating it. However, she hadn’t really said anything more than “Talk to you later, Ben.”

Beth watched the play of emotions on his face and in his eyes. Beth then stood up and held out her hand. “Come to bed, Ben. We can talk in the morning.”

He allowed himself to be led to the bedroom.

A small noise caused Ben Samuels to wake up. He appeared to be slightly disoriented. It took him a few seconds to remember where he was and he turned to the clock radio.

“3 AM,” he thought to himself, “what…” and then he took note of the restless woman beside him. “Oh no, not again…” was his first thought. Beth was in the midst of a dream and he prepared himself. The few previous times that he had been there when it happened, she woke up in a panic.

Beth was dreaming. It was a variation on the same dreams that she and Samantha Carter had been having. Much of the reasons for their dreams had been Jack O’Neill’s insistence that their memories were faulty and the dreams came to show the truth. But whose truth, Beth often wondered. The ones that our sub-conscious knows is there, or the ones that she and Sam suspected were planted in Jon’s mind.

Beth did wake up abruptly, and Ben was there to hold her and calm her down. Lying in his arms after he managed to soothe her, Ben attempted to get her to talk about the dream. As usual, she refused to go into it.

Ben gently eased her onto her pillow, rolled over and turned on the bedside lamp. After giving each of them a few minutes to get used to the dim light, he turned her to face him.

“You have to go back to Colorado,” he told her.

“Why? I have done all I can do there.” He knew Beth was unwilling to consider having another face to face encounter with Jon.

“Beth.” Ben’s voice was firm in its tone. “You are aware that Jack and I buried the hatchet during the court martial.”

Beth nodded slowly. She was wondering what he was getting at, only because they just barely managed not to bury the hatchet in each other.

“I have to tell you that I still am not enamored with the man. But…” Ben stopped to think about the words he was going to say. He was, after all, going to send the woman he loved into the arms of another man who loved her. Albeit, not exactly the same way. “But even I know something is off with him.”

Beth’s eyes widened a touch.

“I don’t understand…” Beth started to say, but Ben put the index finger of his right hand to her lips.

“I have known you to be pretty pissed off at that man. Remember, I have been around a few of those times and a few of those times, I was the reason you were mad at him,” Ben reminded her. “But I have never seen you this frustrated with him. I can tell you are torn between being there to help him through this and being here.”

The silence stretched between them. Finally, Beth spoke.

“Ben, I love you. You know that, don’t you?”

This was the first time she had ever said the words directly to him. And the fact that they seemed to come out of nowhere startled him for a minute.

“Beth…” This time, she silenced him.

“I can say it now Ben, because you are showing that you do understand what Jon means to me.”

“By my sending you to Colorado? For doing the right thing?” Ben asked.

Beth turned from Ben and put her head on her pillow. She took Ben’s right hand and placed it where her heart was located.

“Part of what made me so uneasy about seeing you again, was the fear that you would not see the Beth Greene I am now.” She paused, “And not seeing the Jon O’Neill there is now. I told you I would never explain or defend my relationship to Jon with you or anyone else.”

Ben waited and Beth continued. “You are sending me to do the right thing. No warnings, no caveats, no real smart remarks about what is going on. That, Ben, means a lot.”

Ben nodded, bent over and kissed her.

“Get some sleep, love,” he told her. “Tomorrow you are going to have a lot of things to rearrange.”

Beth smiled and closed her eyes. Ben turned out the light and gathered her to him and went to sleep.

Getting the appointments rearranged was a piece of cake compared to getting a flight out of Dulles. Beth was able to have her clinic schedule set up to operate without her. Calling the clinic in Colorado Springs to tell them she was coming to observe, and finding a place to stay took her about three hours. Finding a flight out took her two days. Finally having everything in place, Beth called Sam and let her know she was coming out.

“It’s not necessary to pick me up, Sam,” Beth told her friend. “I’m getting a rental. I will let you know when I get there.”

Ben drove her to the airport and walked her up to security and waited and watched as she went through. She turned to wave and then was gone.

The Bartender watched as the man poured his shot of some very expensive whiskey into his mug of beer and shook his head. Some people; what they wouldn’t do. What a sad thing to do to some pretty expensive whiskey and some cheap beer. So he watched as his customer made another Boiler Maker to drink and stared as he drank it down.

I don’t care if you hurt me some more
I don’t care if you even the score
You can knock me and I don’t care
You can mock me and I don’t care
You can rock me just about anywhere
It’s alright

The blonde woman observed the man at the bar and was intrigued. He seemed to be knocking back his drinks without much thought and she wondered what his story was. But then, she usually didn’t much care. She wasn’t here for conversation.

‘cus you’re all I’ve got tonight
you’re all I’ve got tonight
you’re all I’ve got tonight
I need you tonight

She walked toward the bar and took the stool next to him. He barely looked at her and nodded to the bartender to get the lady what ever it was she wanted to drink. She smiled at him. In the daylight it was a hard and brittle smile. But here in the smoky confines of the bar, it was one that held a sensual promise. A promise that intrigued his alcohol soaked mind, because it was one he never would have considered, had he been sober.

I don’t care if you use me again
I don’t care if you abuse me again
You can make me I don’t care
You can fake me I don’t care
You can love me just about anywhere
It’s alright

They drank in companionable silence at the bar and then she suggested they move to a quiet table in a darkened corner. He shrugged. Why the hell not? So, they left the bar area to go to the table she indicated. The bartender shook his head. She got another poor fool.

I don’t want to feel sorry for you
You don’t have to make believe it’s you
You can lump me I don’t care
You can bump me I don’t care
You can love me just about anywhere
It’s alright

At closing time she made her move and he once again shrugged. Why the hell not again? She had a car and he was too drunk to drive, much less care. So they left together. She had her hands full holding him up, but she didn’t care. He was solid. He was there.

‘cus you’re all I’ve go tonight
you’re all I’ve got tonight
you’re all I’ve got tonight
I need you tonight

Jack O’Neill woke up abruptly. His mouth tasted like a whole platoon of Jaffa had marched through it and he rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. His nose caught the heavy whiff of a woman’s perfume and he turned to his left to see a sleeping woman with him.

“Oh God,” he thought with some disgust, “What did I do?”

His movements caused his bed partner to wake up. She smiled and reached out her arms to him. “Hello, lover.” Her voice was sultry. Whether from whisky or smoking, Jack didn’t know, nor did he care.

He managed to avoid her arms and turned to her. Curtly, he told her to get dressed and be out of his house by the time he got out of the shower.

The woman didn’t look too happy, but she put a resigned look on her face. She instinctively knew that if she pouted, he might probably help her out of the house, dressed or not. She took one last view of his naked form heading to the bathroom, rapidly got dressed and left the house.

Beth had just arrived in her rental car when the woman walked out of the front door. She had just gotten out of the car when the woman saw her and waited for her to come up to the porch.

“Hey, are you his wife or something?” the woman asked.

“Yeah,” Beth replied, clearly amused, “or something.”

The woman gave her a disgruntled look and Beth watched as she “sashayed?” Beth thought, away.

Beth watched as the woman got in her car and drove away. “Hmm, so she drove,” Beth thought, “How hammered was he?”

Beth went into the house and up the stairs to Jack’s bedroom. She stopped by the linen closet and grabbed a large bath towel on her way to Jack’s bedroom. She opened his bedroom door and leaned nonchalantly against the doorframe, waiting for him to come out.

Jack came out of the bathroom and didn’t notice Beth was there until she whistled.

Jack turned and angrily started to say, “I told you to…” and stopped abruptly when he noticed it was Beth. He stood there with his arms crossed and looked at her, amusement clearly seen in his eyes.

Beth gave him a once over and commented, “Not bad for an old man.”

Jack laughed and offered to pirouette for her. Beth declined and threw him the towel telling him that he needed to cover up. That he didn’t need to catch a cold.

Jack made a show of slowly putting the towel around his hips and then asked her what she was doing in his house.

“Ben sent me,” she responded.

Jack looked surprised, but indicated he was going to get dressed in the bathroom and they would talk when he came out.

Beth nodded that would be fine and was going to wait on his bed, but then noted and smelled the sheets. She quickly stripped his bed, put the sheets in the pillowcase and set it beside the hamper. Jack came out to find her lying on his bed, her head against the headboard, reading his ‘Cracked’ magazine.

He also noted that she stripped the bed and asked her if she wanted to have some coffee. He clearly wasn’t comfortable that Beth knew about his little escapade. But damn, he wished he could remember it.

In the kitchen, Jack got the stuff together for the coffee and was surprised when Beth pushed him away from it. She remarked that if he was so intent on drinking battery acid, why didn’t he just take the cup out to his truck and get it directly?

“Are you saying my coffee is too strong?” Jack was amused. He knew darn well that Beth thought his coffee was strong enough to pour itself into his mug and follow him into the living room.

Beth raised her eyebrows and gave him a look.

“About last night-” Jack started.

“I don’t want to hear the gory details, dear…only that you were careful.”

Beth didn’t think she needed to lecture Jon, at his age, about the dangers of unprotected casual sex.

“I used a condom, Beth,” Jack responded, “I don’t think that very much happened or that anything happened, but I can’t be sure.”

Beth could only nod. Judging by the sour look on the woman’s face, she doubted that if anything happened last night, it wasn’t anything worth writing home about. But she wasn’t about to go there with Jon. Also, he probably didn’t need to hear about all the other things that could have gone wrong with last night.

Jack watched as Beth turned to the coffee maker and poured the coffee into two mugs. She handed Jack his mug and then went to the fridge to see if there was any milk or creamer. There was a quart of milk on the top shelf and she pulled it out to note the expiration date. Her left eyebrow went up when she noted that it was four days expired, but decided to take a sniff to decide if she would try it or not. It didn’t smell too bad and decided to pour it into her cup. The milk curdled almost immediately and discretion being the better part of valor, she poured her coffee into the sink, rinsed out the mug and then faced her friend.

Jack watched her actions and smiled when she poured the coffee into the sink. There were many things she would give up, food wise, but milk or cream in her coffee was not one of them.

”So,” Jack started after he took a sip, “Ben sent you?”

Beth nodded and told him: “Even he knew you weren’t right.”

“I wasn’t *right*?” Jack had a tone of offence in his voice.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Jon,” Beth responded to his tone. She then held up her hand to forestall his next comment.

“Jon, you aren’t the only one with the nightmares.”

Jack took another sip of his coffee, his eyes steadily on Beth. He knew that Ben and Beth had gotten closer in the last year and even more so in the last three months. He didn’t say anything, only kept his eyes on her.

“Jon, I would really like to have a conversation with you about this that didn’t disintegrate into ‘Dumb Bitch’…”

“…Or ‘Dick Head’?” Jack added.

“Yes,” Beth answered him. There was a frustrated sadness to her tone. “Whatever the reason I came, it was something that needed to be done. A lot is riding on our solving this.”

Jack nodded and put his mug down and stood up to go over to where Beth was standing. She went easily into his arms. Jack had his hands loosely linked behind the small of her back and she had hers around the back of his neck. Beth leaned up and kissed the right corner of his mouth and smiled at him.

“I am heading over to the Clinic to check on things and then later tonight, Sam, Janet and I are having dinner. I will be at the Mountain tomorrow about lunch time.”

Jack dropped his chin on the top of her head and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Promise me,” Beth said, knowing her breath was warm on his collarbone. “You will think about a few things.”

Jack pulled back to look at her. “What things?”

“Walk me to the door and I will tell you.” Beth took his hand and they walked to the front door. She turned to him as she opened the door. “Think about our interaction this morning,” she began. “Look at what we just did in the kitchen. You had me in your arms and you easily let me move around in them.”

Jack’s eyes took on brightness.

“Also, when I first arrived here…consider, you were as ‘naked as a jay bird’ and junior didn’t even look up and wave.”

That got a chuckle.

”And third, I was lying on your bed and you did nothing more than laugh at me reading your magazine and invited me for coffee. I had been pretty much vulnerable to you since I arrived here this morning. Think about it, Jon.”

She leaned up and gave him a kiss on his mouth this time and went out the door. Jack watched her as she walked down the porch stairs and got into her car. Her words lingered along with her perfume for most of the morning. He very seriously wanted to believe her.

The cafeteria was relatively empty when SG-1 met with Dr. Greene for lunch. Jack noted that Teal’c and Daniel stationed themselves in a protective stance around Sam and Beth.

He seriously wanted to talk to both of them. He’d had another dream last night. He tried to think some more about what they had been telling him, but this dream just didn’t match what they said and that confused and frightened him. The latest dream had been more violent and more violating in its intensity than the others.

Beth was watching him closely. Jack knew that she could tell that he was agitated. He guessed his body language and the barely restrained angry tone he answered questions with was making her wonder what was going on. It wasn’t too long before Jack gave her the answers.

“I’m not a baby in swaddling clothes.” Jack said, almost out of the blue.

Several pairs of startled eyes looked at him.

”Excuse me?” Daniel said, clearly confused.

“I wish you would all quit treating me like I’m going to break.” Jack answered him. He turned his dark eyes to Beth. “And…I’m not one of your pediatric patients, you don’t need to talk to me in that tone of voice. I’m perfectly capable of understanding what you are saying without having you talk…to…me…like…I …don’t … understand.”

She turned her amber eyes on him, looking as if she felt that she could cheerfully choke him. He couldn’t possibly have said what he just said. Jack realized he was doing an about face. Even after apparently coming to terms with the fact that maybe his memories were faulty, he was now claiming, yet again, the stories didn’t match.

Beth looked at Sam. Beth could see that Sam’s eyes were wide open and that her pupils were dilated. Before Sam could put her two cents in, Beth exploded.

She put her hands on the table in front of her and leaned across it to just inches from Jack’s face.

“Doesn’t match?” Beth asked in a voice that probably would have taken the rust of a car’s bumper. “Doesn’t match! Well, smart guy, you want something that matches? I’ll give you a match.”

Jack appeared to know what was coming, as he sat back in his chair.

“How about…” Beth began, “your face... and my ass? Is that matching enough for you?”

Beth then stood up, grabbed her tray and left the table. The others just didn’t know what to do. Daniel had put his head down on his arms, which were folded on the table and tried very hard not to laugh. Sam and Teal’c could only look at each other. Jack hurriedly stood up and called after her.

“Elizabeth?” He grabbed his tray and took off after her.

Jack caught up with Beth in one of the empty offices near the cafeteria. She was sitting in the desk chair, her feet up on the desk itself. Beth didn’t even look up when Jack came in.

“Beth?” His voice was cautious in its tone.

No response.

He tried a little levity. “My face and your ass?”

That got a snort and she looked up at him. “Go away, Jon O’Neill. I am not interested in making nice right now.”

Jack grabbed a chair that was sitting near the wall next to the office door and placed it on the opposite side of the desk. He placed the chair so that the back of the chair was next to the desk itself and straddled the chair as he sat down.

“I did, seriously try to think about what you had told me.”

Amber eyes looked into the deep brown of the other.

“Why would my memories be different?” Jack asked her. "How could my memories be so intense, so vivid and not be real?"

“I don’t know, Jon.” Beth’s answer was simple. “They just are.”

Almost immediately something inside Jack’s eyes changed. Beth noted that they were getting harder.

“You don’t believe that the persona I had on that planet exists in me?” His tone took a harder edge, as did his eyes.

The fine hairs on the back Beth’s neck started to prickle.

“Of course he exists,” Beth answered back, her own voice taking an edge. “Do you think that you could be Special Ops or Black Ops if you didn’t have that part of you in there?”

“So, if he is a real part of me, why do you not believe that what I remember is true?”

Without much warning he stood up and walked over to where Beth was and swung her feet off the desk. He then grabbed her forearms and forced her up. Pressing her against the back wall of the office, he moved in closer to her.

“How do you know,” he asked her in silky and threatening tones, “that I won’t snap your neck like a twig right now?”

He then nuzzled her neck and Beth balled her fists at her side.

“Because the Hunter does not control you. He never has and he never will.”

“Can you be sure of that, Dr. Greene?” The impersonal address was deliberate. Beth took a deep breath and then brought up both her hands and pushed, hard, against his shoulders.

“Okay! You proved you can scare me. Now…” Beth pushed against him again, “Back off.”

When there was sufficient space between them for her to go the door of the office, she looked at him.

“I don’t,” she began, “believe for a minute that the ‘Hunter’ persona is in control of you.”

There was a gleam of mischief in Jack’s eyes that seemed almost to dare Beth to pick a fight with him again.

“There are incongruities in your dreams, Jon. You know they are there and are afraid to analyze them. But consider this…” She opened the door to the office and stepped into the hall. “Did I just push you away? Or did you step back?”

With that, she shut the office door and headed to the elevator. She wanted to be out of the Mountain before the tears started, but that plan didn’t work. Teal’c had followed her and waited outside the office. Had Dr. Greene screamed, or had there been any indication of imminent physical danger to her, he would have gone in. Beth, seeing the concern in his dark eyes, started crying. Teal’c gathered her into his arms and soothed her as one would a child.

“He will see the truth. Dr. Greene,” Teal’c told her. “He must.”

Beth nodded and Teal’c went up the elevator with her and escorted her to her car.

Samantha Carter was in bed reading her latest astrophysics journal when the doorbell startled her. Sam looked at the clock radio by her bed. It was 1:00 AM. “Who on Earth?” she thought to herself.

Going to the front door and looking through the peephole, she saw it was Jack O’Neill. Sam opened the door to let him in.

“Colonel?” Sam said as she stood aside to let him in.

“Major,” Jack replied.

Sam led him to the living room. He sat on the sofa and she perched on the recliner nearby.
“What’s up?” Sam asked him.

“I want to talk about our dreams.” Jack was very direct in his statement.

He then proceeded to tell her what he had remembered.

Sam shook her head.

“No, Sir,” Sam told him emphatically. “It didn’t happen like that at all. The only direct contact…” Sam had to swallow when she came to this part, “was when we were manacled and you basically walked around us and touched us. But you never put your hands, or anything else, in places that you knew were not appropriate.”

Jack was silent for a minute and then Sam noted the change in his eyes. Just as they had changed when Beth had challenged his memory, they did with Sam. The Hunter seemed to come out of nowhere. He stood up and grabbed Sam by her right arm and pulled her to him.

For a few minutes he just looked at the woman he was holding by her arm. The faint scent of her shampoo and body lotion swirled up and around him, teased and tantalized his senses.

Jack shook his head, seemingly trying to clear his thoughts and to chase away the Hunter that was starting to awaken. She knew that because of his experience with Angra Mainyu, he had become more attuned to her scent and her feel.

“Do you not have any idea of what I can do to you, Samantha?” That same smooth and silky voice that he heard in his dreams was the voice he heard himself use.

“Sir?” Sam started, “You’re hurting me?”

“Am I?” The Hunter asked back. He brushed his lips against her right cheek and her hair. Sniffing in the perfume of her shampoo. He then brushed his lips hard against hers and pulled her closer to him, as if trying to absorb her into himself.

He brought up his right hand to thread the fingers through her short blonde hair and then he pulled her head back with her hair. He reveled in the feel of her hair in his hands and thinking that he was touching silk.

“Why do you suppose I am doing this?” he asked suddenly.

“With respect, Sir,” Sam said through gritted teeth, “quit being an ass.”

She brought hp her hands and pushed at him and Jack backed away.

Suddenly, confusion showed in his eyes and he looked around as if he didn’t know where he was.

“Sam?” He was looking at her, taking in her appearance. Was he seeing the fear and anger in her eyes?

“What have I done?”

Before Sam could answer, Jack took off.

Arriving back at his house, shaken, Jack went and opened the liquor cabinet and poured himself a water glass of whiskey. He took a long swallow.

The burning of the whiskey down his throat and into his stomach seemed to make him feel warm, dispelling the cold he felt so keenly. He felt as if he had just lost his mind again. The Hunter part of him had gone after the two women he cared most about and it almost seemed as if the other part of him wanted to drive them away.

Jack went over to the window in his living room, opened the curtains and raised the blinds. Looking out at the dark and quiet street, he played over that latest dream in his mind.
It had to be real. It felt so real. He could swear that he knew every inch of Sam’s body. What if felt like, smelled like, tasted like. Why then, did they keep insisting it wasn’t real?

The Hunter entered the cell and went towards the woman with the yellow hair. She seemed to sense his presence and woke up to look at him. He reached down and roughly pulled her up and then threw her over his shoulder. He was amused. This was supposedly a warrior and she didn’t fight him or make a sound. As he was turning to leave with his ‘burden’, the other woman woke up. He noted confusion clearly in her eyes. She spoke. “Jack? What are you doing?”

And the dream ended there.

Something about the dream, this time, made Jack wonder. Beth had said that there were incongruities in his dreams. If he would take the time to analyze them, instead of being afraid of them, he would see the truth.

Angra Mainyu paced his hut. The Slave Dealer had told him that they would be unable to capture the Tok’ra agents and the one Jaffa that helped in freeing his prisoners and his newest Hunter. He was also told that the Hunter, the two women and the Jaffa were all together and that capturing them would be easy.

The Slave Dealer went on to say that the contacts on the human world were quite eager to see that all four were disposed of, and would pay a high bounty if it could be done quickly and quietly.

Angra Mainyu stopped pacing and then called to his First Prime.

“Go! Find the Slave Dealer,” he ordered the man. “I will also pay a bounty if this can be done and done quickly.”

His man bowed and left. Angra Mainyu smiled for the first time since his Hunter was taken. It was an ugly smile. Not only would he have his Hunter back, but also the price the Hunter would pay for being allowed to live would be quite dear. He would be ‘allowed’ to watch his friends die… by his hand, before he was allowed to be lost to his new identity.

The figure stealthily crawled into the bed next to the sleeping woman. A hand suddenly snaked out and put itself across her mouth. It was not like Jack to sneak up on people, at least, not his friends or loved ones. He could not, however, take the chance that Beth would refuse to see or talk to him. It made him uncomfortable to approach her like this, but…

Jack felt her buck and he pulled her close and whispered, “Beth, it’s me, Jon.”

Immediately Beth relaxed and he let go of her. Beth quickly turned to face him and gave him a smack on his left shoulder.

“What…” he asked, “was that for?”

He rubbed his left shoulder.

“That was for Sam,” Beth said and hit him again. “And this is for me. What the hell are you doing?”

Jack rolled Beth on her back and leaned over her. “Do you think,” he started “that you can leave off long enough for me to talk?”

“Okay,” Beth told him, “talk.”

Jack sat up and looked down on her. The shadows in the room seemed to soften the harsh confusion inside him.

“I guess you heard from Sam, huh?” he asked.

“No duh, she rang me after you left – I’ve been going out of my mind with worry!” Beth answered him, the tracks of her tears still evident on her face.

Jack hated to hurt these women. “I hadn’t intended to go there and screw things up worse.”

Beth was silent. She watched as his hands twisted the top sheet into a knot and turned anguished eyes on her.

“I thought about what you said. About the inconsistencies in my dreams.”

“And…” Beth prodded. She saw that his eyes were clearly showing the inner pain and confusion. There was a shadow to them that she hadn’t seen since…since Charlie.

“I finally stopped being afraid of them being real and really looked at them.”

“And, but, so therefore…” Beth was thinking of the various ‘your point’ phrases.

Jack sighed and answered her unspoken question. “There were two points that stood out in those dreams, that I am finally understanding. My memories were planted.”

“Okay, your point and do you have one?” Beth was now impatient.

Jack smiled slightly. “In that dream where I told you that I raped Sam and you watched…”

He heard Beth’s breathing take on a different rhythm. This one dream had caused many a screaming match between them.

“It never happened.”

“You’ve accepted this, how?” Beth asked him.

“Two points that never made sense and I couldn’t understand until just now. “

Jack rolled over to turn the light on and the soft light of the low setting of the lamp reflected on both of them.

“Point one: Sam didn’t clobber me. There is no possible way that she wouldn’t have tried to kill me, or both of us for that matter.”

“Yup, that is right.”

“And the second,” Jack reached out and pulled on the hair wrap in her hair, “you have never called me Jack.”

Beth gave him a real smile then, and responded with some humor, “Well, see, that should have been a dead giveaway.”

Jack laughed. It was the first real laugh she had heard come from him in some time.

“Jon?” Beth caught his attention. “When you go to Sam’s after here, will you do me a favor and use the doorbell?”

Leaning down to give her an awkward hug he nodded and then as silently as he had come in, he left to go back to Sam’s house.

Jack was not surprised to see the light on in the living room of Sam’s house. He suspected that Beth had called Sam to let her know he was coming.

It kind of ruined his surprise. Then again, remembering what happened the last time he just showed up, maybe it was better this way.

At his knock, Sam opened the door and let him in. She was dressed in a tee shirt with a denim shirt over it and a pair of jeans.

“Hey!” Jack said in a quiet and tentative tone.

“Hey.” Sam answered in the same tone.

“So…” Jack began.

“Beth did call,” Sam told him. “She wanted me to put you out of your misery, even though it might have been fun to let you wallow some.”

At his look, Sam told him those were Beth’s thoughts anyway.

“Well…”Jack began slowly. He walked over to the window and looked out, his hands in his pockets.

Sam sat on her sofa and waited.

Jack turned away from the window and looked at his Major with deep and thoughtful eyes. He just had to work it through and make sure it was what he really wanted to say.
He often wondered what life would be like without her. From the Arm Wrestling comment to right now, life had been interesting and good with her. How very boring it might have been otherwise.

Finally, Jack spoke. “I’m sorry, Sam. I acted in an extremely inappropriate and unprofessional manner, unbecoming of an officer of the United States Air Force.”

Smiling a little at her bemused expression, he also added ”I’ve been an ass, Sam. And I’m sorry.”

Sam smiled and nodded and patted the padded chair next to her sofa.

Jack walked over and sat down. He leaned forward slightly, his hands on his knees. He kept rubbing his hands back and forth on his thighs, until Sam gently put her hands on his.

“It’s okay now.” She told him in a gentle voice. “You are starting to understand. That is the important piece.”

Jack nodded and told Sam that the planted memories had really puzzled him.

“Why?” He asked her suddenly. “Why did they plant these memories?”

“Colonel.” Jack frowned slightly at the formal address, but he understood. Reluctantly, but he understood.

“That might be something you’d want to discuss with Dr. McKenzie.” Sam finished.

Jack nodded. He had considered that maybe McKenzie, irritating as he was, would be the one to help him work it out. But he really didn’t want to work it out with McKenzie; he wanted to work it out with…

“I would like to work it out with you, Sam.” Jack’s voice held a plea.

Sam nodded her head and indicated by spreading out her hands that she would listen and would try.

“Why?” He looked at her steadily. “Why would Angra Mainyu plant those kinds of memories? He certainly couldn’t have expected this outcome.”

Sam considered his words for a minute and her mind went through its logical progressions. It was a natural response from being a scientist, and one that understood the basic law of Physics at that.

One of the laws of physics is that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Somehow the Goa’uld planned for disaster. He planned for the “What if?”

Sam looked at her hands, which were folded on her lap. She then looked up and answered him.

“He planned for failure,” Sam told him. “He thought that he might be betrayed by the people that had us kidnapped and he wanted you to suffer for it.”

Jack looked at her sharply, the idea swirling through his head.

Then he nodded. “Yes, that must be it. He probably wanted me to suffer from guilt, should I have been unable to kill you both.”

Sam nodded her agreement and affirmed that was probably likely, but maybe McKenzie would be able to help him dive deeper.

Jack decided that maybe he needed to get home. It was too comfortable now with Sam, as they had started to set things right between them. He also wanted to think things through some more and maybe even come to his own conclusions.

The meeting with Dr. McKenzie had gone well, considering. The doubts that Jack thought he had erased the night before came roaring back into his mind with a vengeance.

Dr. McKenzie sat there watching his patient pace the room. “Pace?” McKenzie thought, “No, prowl.” Jack had always reminded McKenzie of a large cat when he did that. The good doctor always knew this was when Jack did most of his thinking. And he did have quite a bit to think about, the doctor conceded.

Jack finally stopped his prowling and sat down in the chair across from McKenzie.

“I understand," Jack began carefully, “that these memories are planted. But there is a part of me, inside, that keeps trying to hold onto them. Why is that?”

McKenzie couldn’t give him a concrete answer and abstract answers would only serve to irritate the Colonel.

“Jack, I honestly have no idea,” McKenzie told him in as direct and honest a manner as he could. He continued, “But the fact that you are aware of it on your conscious and sub conscious level, then it might be because the brainwashing is fighting to regain control.”

McKenzie looked directly into the deep and dark eyes of his patient.

“I am aware that you have no real patience for this…” McKenzie began, “…but this is where the patience needs to come in. You were in a very difficult place. All parts of the pieces that make up Colonel John J. O’Neill are shaken by this experience. It is a matter of obtaining the balance that you had before.”

Pausing, he continued, "And you also need to accept that you may never be that person again. Every experience bends us, shapes us and ultimately makes us who and what we are.”

Jack’s eyes were shadowed in reflection. He thought about all the experiences he had in his life that had brought him to this point, and conceded that perhaps Dr. McKenzie was right in this.

This was one more experience that will adjust who he is and what he does with it.

“As I see it, Jack, you have two choices.”

Jack looked at him and raised his right eyebrow.

“You can either work on going with what you believe to be true now. That your memories are false and planted and work to put those thoughts where they belong-in your mental trash can. Or…”

“…Continue fighting everyone and everything and risk ruining the relationships that I have built up over the years. And alienating the people important to me.” Jack finished for him.

McKenzie nodded.

“That’s right, Jack. So…” the Doctor looked at his patient. “…are you ready to continue?”

Jack nodded and they went back to work.

Angra Mainyu paced along the shore of the lake that surrounded his camp. It was the same lake that his Hunter was lured into by ‘that woman’ and then taken away. It would be same lake that ‘she’ would drown in. He was certain it was the woman with the yellow hair that took him. ‘The Warrior’ he sneered to himself. He would personally see that the Hunter took particular care in killing her. Maybe he could make use of the other. What was it they called her in her world? ‘Doctor’? "Yes," he thought, "we could use a 'Doctor'.” But the warrior woman would die and …he clenched his fists and as he had them balled so tight, his hands were white with the pressure and his face red with the anger. The Jaffa that helped take his prize would die also. Angra imagined the incredible pain the Jaffa would suffer as he crushed the Goa’uld larvae in his pouch. Word had come to him that the Tok’ra were also involved. One of them was Selmak. There was a large prize on that one’s head and he hoped to collect it. A sound of footsteps coming from the brush that surrounded the lake alerted him. His eyes flashed briefly and he turned to face the “Man”, if one could call him that that came. His smile was brilliant.

SG-1 had gathered at Sam’s house for dinner that night. Sam had convinced Beth to come and stay with her while she was visiting.

“Less of chances of a midnight visit from our favorite Colonel?” Beth teased her.

Sam blushed slightly and nodded. “He is just a little too much for my nerves, Beth."

“Oh, I am so with you there,” Beth agreed.

Sam sat on the guestroom bed as Beth unpacked the few things she brought with her.

“Have you had a chance to call Ben?” Sam asked her.

Beth shook her head and her blonde curls bounced slightly with the movement. Her amber eyes took on a different look when she thought of Ben.

Sam didn’t miss the change in her friend’s eyes and she was glad that Beth had Ben. She was jealous, to be sure, of Beth having ‘someone’. However, even though Beth had assured her that she had ‘someone’ as well, they just needed to come to terms-it wasn’t the same.

Beth didn’t miss Sam’s winsome look. She sat down next to Sam and took her hand.

“Have faith, Sam. He loves you very much.” Beth looked into the shadowed blue eyes and felt her heart take a funny drop. It pained her to see two people that cared for each other so much, have to hide away the emotions.

Sam nodded and then attempted a bright smile. “We need to get back downstairs, or the men will leave us no food.”

Beth laughed and they both stood up and headed out the bedroom.

Washington DC was a pretty town at night. However, Commander Samuels didn’t much care for the bright lights or the ambience. He hadn’t spoken to Beth since she left for Colorado, although he did get regular e-mail updates from her. It was her voice that he really wanted to hear. He wasn’t worried that her feelings had changed or that Jack was once again proving to be difficult. Her ‘hiding’ was indicative of her style. He had hoped that she would have outgrown that habit. She often told him that growing up with all those boys around, she hardly had any privacy to work things out and everybody knew everybody else’s business. Which, for the boys was fine. For a girl - especially one going through “girl things”, that proved to be difficult and at times, downright embarrassing. Thus, he had to content himself with the e-mails and the instant messages she left for him. They hadn’t been able to connect at the same time for days? Weeks?

He stood by the window. Pulling the curtains open at sunset, he looked down onto the street that passed by the front of his hotel. The lights did add a certain beauty to the street. As a child, he liked wandering the neighborhood during the winter holidays to look at the blinking and colorful lights. Beth sometimes tagged along, especially when the O’Neill and Greene boys were particularly annoying. He tolerated it, or at least he acted like he was doing her favor. In fact, it was she supplying the favor. Her offbeat humor and energetic personality had on many occasions made him laugh when he wanted to cry.

The shrill ringing of the phone broke him from his reverie.

“Samuels.”

“My, my,” the metallic voice responded to his answer. “So formal, Commander.”

Ben let out his breath.

“What do you want?” Ben’s voice was edgy, testy, strained.

The voice on the other end of the phone laughed. The metallic tone to the laugh set Ben’s teeth on edge.

“Commander,” the voice chided him. “After all I have done for you, you still don’t trust me? I’m hurt.”

The silence stretched for a few seconds. Ben was afraid to trust his voice. Blue Topaz had come through a few more times since Jack’s court martial. Ben couldn’t help but feeling he was dealing with the Devil and that made him uncomfortable. Blue Topaz, had, made no demands in exchange for his help or information. At least, up until now. Ben was afraid that one of these days, the price would be his soul.

“Commander, I know you are there. I can hear you breathing.” Blue Topaz laughed again. The sound of nails on a chalkboard. “Listen to me very carefully, Commander.”

“I’m listening,” Ben answered him. He was now sitting on one of the double beds in his room. The phone gripped tightly in his left hand, a pad of paper open on the nightstand and a pen gripped tightly in his right hand.

“Do you remember when your ‘lady friend’ was kidnapped some months ago?”

“Yes.” Ben’s voice was tight. He hated these drawn out conversations. He just wished that this informant would say what he wanted to and crawl back under his rock. That, however, was not Blue Topaz’s style.

That metallic voice went on to tell Ben that she was once again in danger and it was happening soon. “Within the next 30 minutes in fact.” Ben stilled. He could feel the blood rush to his face and his heart started to pound. He felt as if the air was being squeezed out of his lungs.

“What?” He could barely get the word out.

“They are coming, Commander. She and her friends are at Major Carter’s right now. If you don’t want them captured, they have 30 minutes.”

With that Blue Topaz hung up. Ben could only stare at the door to his room. His mind was fogged and he felt paralyzed. Then he sprang into action.

He didn’t know Major Carter’s phone number, but he had Beth’s.

The “party” was just getting ready to break up when the ringing of a cell phone was heard.

Sam moved away from the kitchen sink where she was starting to rinse the serving utensils and waved to Beth that she would answer it, as her friend was clearing up the table with Jack’s help.

“Dr. Greene’s phone,” Sam answered.

“Thank god.” Ben’s voice came from the other end.

“Ben?” Sam asked.

“You have to get out of there now.” Ben wasted no words or time.

“What?” Sam’s tone of voice caused four heads to turn in her direction. She was looking at the cell phone, a dubious look on her face.

Jack came over and took the phone.

“Samuels?” Jack’s tone was questioning.

“They’re coming, Jack. You have to get out of there. Please, call me when you get to Cheyenne Mountain.”

Ben rang off and Jack saw the perplexed look the others gave him.

“That was Ben. He said they’re coming.”

Teal’c understood immediately. “Angra Mainyu,” was all he said and then they all immediately headed out the door, jumped into Jack’s truck and sped toward the mountain.

While on route Sam asked him what else Ben had to say.

Jack shook his head. “All he said was ‘They’re coming.’ We are to call him when we get to the mountain."

The ride was a tense one. Their escape a timely one.

The assailants flashed into Sam’s house prepared for a battle. But there was none to be had. Empty. The leader of the attack’s eyes flashed briefly. They had been warned. No question. Dishes left where they dropped. Cars still in the driveway. Front door closed, but not locked.

A sudden flash of light and they were gone.

Deep in the mountain Jack was on the phone with Commander Samuels.

“All right, Samuels,” Jack spoke quickly. “Tell me what you know.”

“Jack, I received a call from Blue Topaz and he told me I had 30 minutes to warn you. He didn’t tell me who, what, when or why. Only that they were coming and to get you out of there. Jack…?"

"Yeah?” Jack answered, tersely.

“How did Blue Topaz know you were all at Major Carter’s?”

That was, Jack thought, an excellent question. Unfortunately, game time was over. Looking directly at Teal’c, they spoke with no words. The time was now to end this.

“We need to finish this,” Jack said suddenly.

The people in the room stared at him. The person on the other end of the phone took in a breath and let it out.

“I *will* keep her safe, Samuels,” Jack said, and then hung up without further words.

Sitting down between Sam and Beth, Jack looked directly at General Hammond.

The older man had been called as they were driving to the mountain and came as he was.

“What is it you want to do, Colonel?” Hammond asked him. It wasn’t that George didn’t know. He knew that Jack was going to take a team and capture that Goa’uld that held him in order to find out who was behind all of this. He was just afraid of what going back might do to his officer, to all of his officers.

“We are going to get Angra Mainyu. He just tried to get me back. And you know, he wasn’t going to stop with just me.” He turned his head meaningfully to Sam and Beth. The men caught the significance of the gesture.

“You are not leaving me here, Sir.” Sam was emphatic.

Jack nodded and then looked at Beth.

“You, however, are staying here.”

Beth, to his shock, didn’t argue. “I know, you need me on this like you need a second nose. I’ll be here working with Janet on setting up the infirmary. I wonder…” she stopped for a minute, “…if the sedative we gave you would work on him.”

Sam said that they would contact her father and the Tok’ra and check. They would need to borrow the Hovercraft again and to plan.

Jack nodded and everyone but he and Beth left to get their gear together and make the necessary contacts.

With a slight smile on his lips, Jack asked her if she had her stethoscope with her.

“Yeah, why?” she asked, clearly puzzled.

Jack gave her a lopsided grin, and chidingly told her that he …“Just want to check if my heart is still beating.”

She lifted her left eyebrow and settled a “what?” glance on him.

“You actually didn’t, for once, argue with me when I told you to stay behind.” His eyes shined with the humor that he was actually really feeling.

“Oh! Well, sometimes I actually know when to take a bow or duck, Jon.” Beth answered him with some humor of her own. Both knew that taking a bow or ducking was the same motion, it just meant different things at different times.

He laughed. She continued. “Even I know that I have no place on this mission, so to argue the point, would have been, well, pointless.”

He walked over to her, tilted up her chin and looked in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Littlebit,” he said quietly. “I know that I’ve you put you and Sam through an awful lot these past months.”

Beth could only lift her shoulders in a shrug and then put her right hand on his left shoulder and squeeze.

What could she say to him, except: ‘We know.’ Understanding comes hard and with a price. Or rather, loving comes hard and with a price.

“I love you, John J. O’Neill.” She removed her hand and then they both headed out the door; Jack to his office and Beth to the infirmary to confer with Janet.

The Goa’uld was furious. Well, how could he not be? The well-orchestrated attempt to obtain all of his enemies was ruined. Some how, some way, someone had warned them. He had a traitor, or his contacts had one. All noticed his determined stride towards his quarters. They could also tell by his body language that the gods help those that displeased him this day. He had no mercy in his heart on his good days.

The Tok’ra had been contacted and Janet Fraiser had already started setting up the isolation room they would use for Angra Mainyu. Daniel and Teal’c were in their quarters packing and Sam, well, Sam was in her lab. Beth knew that Sam was just finding something to keep her busy, keeping her thoughts and concerns away from Jack. Beth was aware that on some level, Sam was as afraid as she was. As afraid as Jack was. Going back. Back to that hell they were in and, in some ways, were still in. And so she watched as her friend prowled his office and noted that Jack’s face was a study in concentration.

Jack paced his office, while Beth sat at his desk and watched him. The radio was playing an old James Taylor song. “Fire and Rain”. He was humming to the verse.

“Been walking my mind to easy time, my back’s turned towards the sun. Lord knows when the cold wind blows it’ll turn your head around.. There’s hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come. Sweet dreams and flying machines, in pieces on the ground.”

Since his release from the hospital, Beth could see that song seemed to speak to him. Sometimes, he seemed to play it to quiet his soul. Both Sam and she had noticed how he seemed to calm when he heard this song. Beth didn’t quite understand, but who knew how some songs seemed to reach into one’s soul and connect. “Knight’s in White Satin” was that way for her. Of course, just about anything by the Moody Blues seemed to reflect her moods. However, Beth just…’knew’ that Jack was reaching deep inside himself now. And she was afraid.

They had just finished talking about how very angry he was. When they were children, their parents (Jon’s and Beth’s) used to refer to her as his pressure valve. It never seemed to matter how angry he was, he could never yell at the person he was angry with. He would just go find Beth and run off with Emma. That was their signal. And he would yell at her and they would talk.

This time, as he spoke, Beth feared for his soul.

“I *am* afraid, Beth.” Jack had told her. “I don’t know, anymore, if I can trust myself to do the right thing.”

She remained quiet, waiting, watchful and…afraid.

He continued to pace the room and pick at nothing in particular around his office.

Jack’s face was a study in concentration as he finally stopped pacing, and turned and faced the concrete wall in his office. She watched as he placed his right cheek against the wall and gathered that he was feeling the smooth texture of the wall and feeling the cool touch of it on his cheek. He leaned into the wall and then he placed his palms on either side of his face and just stood there.

Beth got up and walked up behind him. She placed her right cheek on his back, just below his right shoulder blade and wrapped her arms around him, which prompted him to move his hands from the wall, and placed them over hers.

“I know you are afraid Jon,” she began, “we all are.”

She felt the rise and fall of his back as he breathed. She also felt the tenseness of his stance and his muscles.

“But…” she continued, “I trust you to do the right thing. You need to trust yourself as well.”
She felt a sudden shift in his stance and let go of him to step back. Jack turned around and placed his hands loosely around her shoulders. She watched as he looked into her eyes. She hoped that he would see the trust. That was what she felt he needed from her right now.

He nodded at her and she nodded back. She reached up to put her arms on his shoulders and they stood like that for a brief moment.

“I’m going to go now and leave you to your own thoughts and check on Sam.” Beth finally told him.

She gave him a quick kiss on his chin and left his office.

As she left, she hoped that he would use the time in between to center himself and then headed for Sam’s lab.

The lab was a fairly large room. Filled with all the high tech toys that a techno geek would be having happy dreams about. It was, a place of peace, refuge and centering. Now, it was a place that felt like an enclosure. Restricting and restrictive. It used to give her peace and a sense of fun, but now, now it felt like it had pulled away that layer of peace and exposed the cold and hard surface of its structure.

Sam just stood in the middle of the lab and could not seem to find her bearings. She really wanted to find the peace that the rhythm of the humming machines would give her. But today, today, the humming proved to be annoying and irritating and…out of place.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Beth standing at the door to the lab. She sensed her friend’s hesitancy to come in.

Sam managed a welcoming smile, but it truly didn’t reach her eyes and was sure that Beth had noted that.

“Hey!” Sam managed to get out. “Are you ready to go?”

She noted the shadowed look in Beth’s eyes. “You were just with him.” A statement.

Her friend nodded and replied that he was afraid. There was a sense of understanding that no one else would ever be told that Colonel O’Neill was afraid. That was the measure of trust and understanding between the women. Each had counted on the other to be open, honest and circumspect.

Sam watched as Beth pulled a stool away from the counter and perched on it. They looked at each other and then Beth asked how Sam was feeling right now.

“I honestly don’t know what to say.” She stated. “I so want to kill that Goa’uld.” Sam stopped and then swallowed. “I would dearly love to put his head on a pike and let those lousy bastards that did this to us see our revenge.”

Sam walked over to the counter Beth was at and pulled out the other stool and sat down.

“I know that he probably would love to do the same. The fear that I have,” Sam looked away from Beth at an imaginary speck on her pant leg and continued, “is that I will rob the Colonel of what he needs to do.”

She felt more than saw Beth put her right hand on her left one. Sam nodded. “I know, the truth is, I don’t know if I will have the will to stop him from killing Angra Mainyu, because it would be exactly what I want to do.”

After Sam finished that statement, the two women heard the men outside her lab door. Daniel stuck his head in and told them that it was time to go.

Sam told Daniel to go ahead and that she would follow in a few minutes.

The two women hugged and Sam picked up her equipment and left to follow Daniel.

The Tok’ra cargo ship that would be taking them and hovercraft was a large one. The humans marveled at how big it was. Teal’c had seen them this big before. He remembered O’Neill telling him about the cargo planes that the Tau’ri military had that transported men and equipment to battle. The C-140 was one of those big transport planes. This cargo ship made them look like a ‘rubber band special’.

Teal’c settled his dark eyes on the leader of SG-1. He noted that O’Neill walked steadily and with purpose to the ship. He also noted that O’Neill was silent. There were no quips. No sarcastic remarks. No admonishments about surprises and how much he disliked them. Daniel Jackson was not too far behind O’Neill. Teal’c noted how Dr. Jackson’s eyes seemed to never leave the figure in front of him. Next to Dr. Jackson was Major Carter. There was a purpose to her stride as well. But he also noted a certain apprehensive air around her. Her body language showed the strain of memory and wondered, not for the first time, how far O’Neill would go to protect Carter. Teal’c already knew how far she would go for O’Neill. Teal’c himself held her once in a darkened locker room while she cried. He could only surmise that O’Neill would do as much and more for her.

The question remained, would the Goa’uld live long enough to be brought back to Earth, if he made a move that would cause either of them further injury or pain?

Suddenly, Daniel’s blue eyes turned to look in Teal’c’s. A message was passed through that look and Teal’c and Daniel both nodded.

The question took on a different intensity now. Daniel and Teal’c made a silent vow to make sure that their friends would not be compromised nor their values forced to be scattered among the wind. Whatever it would take, the Goa’uld would tell them what they needed to know, or Teal’c would kill him personally.

The Tok’ra Ba’rak was as skilled a pilot at any Jack had seen. The big ship seemed to move with all the smoothness of a well-built Mercedes. He told Jacob the same and Sam’s father smiled.

“You don’t know the half of it Jack.” Jacob told him. “Ba’rak’s entire planet was destroyed by the Goa’uld when he was ten. He flew what was left of his family and two neighbor families to our planet, by himself.”

Jack’s eyebrows rose.

“No,” Jacob answered the unspoken question, “He didn’t know who we were, where we were, or even *if* we were. He just knew he needed to get away from his home world. His father had taught him to fly when he was around 6. His home world was noted for being cargo pilots. They start them young. We offered them refuge, and help in finding a new home. When he turned 21, he opted, to return and fight with us. At least, that is was Selmak tells me.”

Jack settled against the wall of the ship. Those damn Goa’uld’s, he thought. They destroy everything they touch and make more enemies than they do friends or slaves. Will they ever learn that their days are numbered?

Jack’s eyes turned hard with that thought. Angra Mainyu bought men and male children from slavers and turned them into fighting machines. Robbing them of their hopes and their dreams. Teaching them to hate and to kill and then discarding them when they could no longer do that. ‘What other future did they have?’ he was told. As long as they could hunt and fight, they would live. Who had use for old killers? His hate was palpable. Once again he wondered if would be able to control his own rage and keep that monster alive long enough to obtain the information he wanted.

Sam and Daniel sat against the wall in the cargo area. They had just finished talking about ‘souls’.

It was a rare moment of silence for them. Usually when they sat together, they talked about science and about philosophy. Daniel used to call them ‘meaning of life’ stuff.

Daniel considered how very appropriate this discussion was for them. It centered on the human soul and how much it was capable of taking.

Sam had asked him how many times could a ‘man’ buy back his soul, only to sell it again. He knew which ‘man’ she was talking about. He had also wondered how many times Jack had sold his soul and the price he paid for getting it back, only to do it again.

Daniel fell silent after that question. “How do you answer that question?” he thought to himself.

The rest of the ride was endured in silence and soon the planet came into view.

Jacob gave orders to Ba’rak about staying in range and when to get ready to go, and then SG-1 followed him to the Teltac.

Sam made sure that the sedative was ready to be given and necessary restraints were available once they got back on ship.

“Jack, “ Jacob called out to him.

Jack turned and looked at him. Silent. Waiting.

Jacob saw Jack tense and guessed he was waiting for him to lecture him to take the Goa’uld alive. Jacob decided then that Jack didn’t need to hear that or any other warning.

“Good luck.” Was all Jacob said.

Jack seemed to accept the wish and joined Sam, Daniel and Teal’c as they were lowered to the ground. Ringing them on the planet would have been easier, but they were afraid that it might tip them off. Jack wasn’t sure where the rings were and maybe a covert assault would be better.

They were dropped off a few miles from the camp and Jack gave terse instructions to his team.

And in the tense silence they followed Jack deeper into the lush forest.

The sounds of animals and birds were heard. The scent of the plants and the animals swirled around him. They invoked unwilling and unwanted memories in Jack. He could also experience the rush of adrenaline of the hunt. His mind involuntarily went back to the times that he hunted small game in this very lush environment. He remembered killing them with his hands and skinning them. He remembered the look of fear in the smallest of the animals. He stopped abruptly to shake the memories loose from him. He noted to three sets of eyes watching with concern and gave a small grimaced smile and continued.

Jack suddenly stopped and lifted his face. He appeared to be smelling the air. He took in a deep breath and scanned the area around him and then headed off to his right. The others followed his lead. No one questioned his directions or how he decided which way to go. Silent movement through the trees. Silent movement towards his goal. Jack knew where he was. Where he expected him to be. Where, he felt, the Goa’uld expected *Jack* to be.

The Goa’uld smelled the air. Every fiber of his being told him that his Hunter was back. He didn’t know how he knew, but the very air seemed to vibrate with that fact.

The Slaver was afraid to approach him after that last disaster. He could not explain how the Tau’ri and the Shol’va got away. Only that they knew. He promised he would find the traitor, but without any real leads, that would be difficult.

So Angra Mainyu stood on the shore of the lake where his Hunter was last seen. It was the one with the strange eyes that lured him away. The one that called him ‘Brother’. Her lure, Angra thought, was impressive. She used the scent of the woman that Angra felt was more than just a warrior to his Hunter to lure him. He had often imagined what he would do to those women and how it would feel. His imagination had his Hunter doing things to those women that would shame their souls even in the afterlife.

His Hunter was coming and would soon be his to command. Again.

Jack ‘smelled’ him before he saw him. He knew where that arrogant bastard was and pulled out the Zat. He didn’t trust himself to not blow the Goa’uld’s head off.

Jack walked silently out of the forest and knew that his team was right behind him. Teal’c with his staff weapon and Sam and Daniel with their Zats. Teal’c with his skill would know just where to aim the staff weapon to injure, causing great pain, but not death. He trusted Sam and Daniel to maintain their cool. It was his he was not certain about.

The Goa’uld seemed to know exactly when Jack stepped into view.

“Ahhhh…” the metallic voice exclaimed with great joy. “You have come.”

Angra watched as Jack approached him with Zat drawn. He noted how Jack carried himself, how he walked, how he looked and how he smelled. He also noted the three not too far behind him.

“And you brought me guests.” Angra crowed. Noticing it was one of the women and the Shol’va, his expression changed to a sneer.

“The Warrior Woman and the Shol’va. How wonderful for you to bring me such gifts.”

Jack’s expression showed his extreme loathing and disdain for the Goa’uld standing in front of him.

Jack came closer and his face was hard and closed. His eyes, however, burned.

He spat out his response to Angra Mainyu.

“I didn’t bring you guests.” He set up the Zat to fire.” I have come to take you with me.”

The Goa’uld laughed and asked Jack how he intended to take him. Did he think he could just come and announce that he was going with him?

Jack faced the Goa’uld. He could feel the blood rushing to his head. He felt as if it was going to explode. He also felt the pull of the Hunter who wanted to drop to his knees and beg his Master for forgiveness. That pulling of his two beings was causing his heart and head to pound.

He could feel the stares of his teammates on him. He could feel their energy being infused into his soul. Closing his eyes, he attempted to focus his thoughts on what he came to do.

The metallic laughter caused him to snap open his eyes. He saw Angra Mainyu standing there with his hands on his hips, laughing; clearly he was delighted with what he saw. He taunted him with being a weakling. He mocked that the Tau’ri needed to let go of his human ways and allow the Hunter to come forward and finish his job.

Jack could feel a rush inside of his body, as if the Hunter was gathering strength to overcome his control and come forward.

It took all of Jack’s self control to hold him back.
Jack swallowed and walked closer to the Goa’uld. The Zat gun held tightly in his right hand.

He knew that he had to face him down. He had to look him in the eyes and show that he, Jack O’Neill, was in control.

“You will, “ Jack began in a strong and even voice, “not only come with me. You will tell me everything that you know about what happened to me, my officer and my friend.”

He watched as Angra’s eyes grew wide. He noted that the Goa’uld was still amazed at how very strong Jack was.

Jack started to circle around the Goa’uld. He was quite surprised that none of the other men he trained with were here. Were they waiting for a signal? Were they afraid, or maybe hoping that Jack would free them?

“How much control,” Jack wondered, “did this Goa’uld have over his men?”

He decided that he really didn’t want to test that thought and walked closer to the Goa’uld. He wanted to be close. Close enough that he could look directly into the eyes of the…what?…man?…beast?…monster? Angra Mainyu was all things and probably a whole lot more. Jack just wanted to be able to look into its’ eyes when he fired. To see the shock, dismay, surprise and maybe, hopefully, a hint of fear that his precious Hunter, hunted him.

What Jack was not closely aware of was how strong the Hunter was within him. As his anger drove him to stalk the Goa’uld, it allowed the Hunter to come forward. While Jack walked around Angra Mainyu, the Goa’uld watched Jack’s eyes. The Goa’uld knew when the Hunter was coming by the hardness within them. The soft, warm and clear brown would turn hard and opaque - almost to stone. As if his eyes were devoid of mirrors, as if the mirror was painted over and the soul obscured. The Goa’uld almost crowed with delight and his success when he noticed the eyes change.

“Welcome, my Hunter.” Angra Mainyu told him when he noted that the transformation was complete.

Jack’s teammates almost seemed to deflate when they also noted the change. His stance no longer was the measured stance of an officer, but that of a killing machine. It was such a subtle adjustment in his bearing, but for those who knew, loved and admired Jack O’Neill, the change was a dramatic one.

Dimly, some part of Jack was still aware but unable to act. He heard the harsh metallic laugh of glee and the order of the Goa’uld to his Hunter to go and get his prey.

The Hunter turned and appeared to be sniffing the air while he did so. Two scents were not familiar to him, but one was. It was HER. SHE was here. Where? He turned looking for her. The grip on his Zat changed ever so slightly as did his stance. He noted the two men that were scrambling to get in front of her. They were the scents that were unfamiliar to him, and yet…

Teal’c had motioned to Daniel to come toward him and stand between O’Neill and Major Carter. There was some heightened sense to Teal’c when he noted the change in his friend. Teal’c’s eyes hardened at what he had seen and he remembered his promise to protect Major Carter and to rescue his friend. And if that rescue also meant O’Neill’s death, well, that will have to be considered if and when the time came.

Teal’c noted that Daniel Jackson took a position ahead of his own. He watched as Daniel tried to reason with Jack, calling out to him by his name.

Daniel’s blue eyes widened at the change in his friend. He thought that he had seen all of Jack’s “sides”, but nothing prepared him for this man. Man? Daniel thought, this is not a man, this is a machine.

Daniel shifted his weapon to ready position and flipped off the safety. Probably not the smartest thing to do, he thought as he did it, but he did it anyway.

He walked several feet in front of Teal’c, hoping to give Teal’c a chance to defend Sam if necessary.

“JACK!” Daniel yelled. He had hoped that maybe Jack was still able to hear him. Daniel was not prepared for the response he got by calling out his friend’s name.

The ‘man’ in front of him –snarled at him. Daniel noted how the Hunter had turned to him and how his stance shifted and he started to approach Daniel.

Jack.” Daniel tried again, “It’s me Daniel. Your friend.”

The harsh laugh that came out from the approaching man was nothing Daniel had ever heard before.

Daniel backed up dimly aware that Teal’c was in ready position.

”Jack, you don’t want to do this.” Again, Daniel attempted to reach Jack. But his plea was too late; before Daniel could react, the Hunter was upon him and had him by the neck with his left hand. With his right, he ripped Daniel’s weapon from his hands and tossed it. Suddenly, Daniel felt lifted up by his neck, shaken and thrown away.

Teal’c watched with some awe and disbelief as Jack threw Daniel, one handed, some distance to the side. Daniel’s crumpled form did not move.

Teal’c immediately turned his attention back to the stalking man who now settled his sight on him.

Teal’c was taken aback from what he saw, or rather from what he didn’t see. He did not see his friend. The ‘Man’ walking towards him, looked like O’Neill and had O’Neill’s voice, but not O’Neill’s soul.

“Come no further.” Teal’c ordered.

The Hunter stopped and looked at the man in front of him.

“Shol’va.” The Hunter spit out.

That word coming from O’Neill’s mouth unsettled Teal’c just a little. He was aware that O’Neill would never have called him that, had it been he that was speaking.

The Hunter again spoke to Teal’c. “Shol’va!” This time the tone was caressing in it’s tone and quality-almost teasing. “Do you think that you can defeat me?”

Teal’c’s eyes followed as the Hunter walked around him. Teal’c knew he needed to stay between him and Major Carter.

“Come and take me then.” Teal’c taunted back and threw down his staff weapon.

The Hunter, seeing Teal’c’s action, also dropped his weapon and both men flexed their bodies for the match to come.

Without warning, the Hunter launched himself at Teal’c.

The Jaffa was taken by surprise, not so much by the attack, but by the strength of the Hunter. It matched his.

Teal’c was aware that even without his symbiote he was stronger than a Tau’ri. Even one as conditioned as Colonel O’Neill.

The men grappled with each. Teal’c’s muscles strained with the effort. The Hunter seemed to barely feel it. “They train hard for this.” Teal’c thought, “They must.”

Teal’c felt the strain on his body and wondered at how strong his opponent was, but that for Major Carter’s sake, he needed to win this battle.

Both men intent on their fight didn’t notice that the prone man was now becoming conscious and moving toward the woman whose weapon was now trained on his Master.

They both, however, heard the Goa’uld laughing and urging his Hunter to destroy the Jaffa, the Shol’va and take the woman.

Suddenly the fight was over almost as quickly as it began. Somehow the Hunter managed to grapple Teal’c and was able to lift him over his head and threw him to the ground. Teal’c was stunned and for a few minutes was unable to move.

The Hunter thus had the opportunity to stalk and grab Major Carter.

Sam had brought up her Zat to fire on him, but his ‘cat-like’ speed prevented it and then the man who was Jack, but wasn’t, had her in his arms.

His hands had an iron grip on her forearms and he looked into her eyes. He smiled suddenly, grimly. He noted the shock. His hands then moved. His left hand went around her neck-the thumb of his left hand felt the flutter of her carotid artery, along with his own pulse. He took his right hand and put it through her hair on her left side and brought his face very close to her left ear. He felt her shudder and swallow. Her breath was coming in slow movements now, almost as if she was afraid to breath.

Inexplicably, his right hand started to caress her face. Paying particular attention to her forehead, her eyebrows, her nose and her mouth. His thumb rubbed across her lips, as if testing its texture and he drew back startled. Something about this woman caused him some confusion. The Hunter shook his head as if he was trying to clear his thoughts and once again looked at the woman he held by the throat. As if agitated, his hand closed tighter around her neck and he noted the slight dilation of her pupils.

He took his left hand away from her throat and put it along with his right hand, on either side of her face. He felt the fragile bones of her face and softness of her skin. The blue of her eyes were almost obscured by her pupils. Dimly, he knew the color of those eyes. He knew that he compared them to the blue of a Texas blue bonnet. The blue of a summer sky. He remembered, how he was not sure, that they could be the color of a sapphire.

Her eyes stirred something inside of him and the Hunter stopped his fight for control, for just a minute. That minute was all that Jack needed to re-exert control over himself and fight the Hunter for possession.

“Sam.” The voice was a soft whisper on the wind.

Her eyes showed that she had heard him and it gave Jack the needed edge for control.

When she put her hand over his and leaned into his caress of her cheek, Jack was able to come to full control of himself.

When he stepped back and turned to the Goa’uld, there was no doubt just whom was standing in front of them now.

The Goa’uld seemed to become aware of the change and attempted to taunt the Hunter into coming back.

However, the tactic backfired. The more the Goa’uld taunted, the stronger Jack became.
Until…

When the Zat was finally fired, it came almost as much as a surprise to Jack as to the Goa’uld. It wasn’t that Jack was hearing the taunting words from the Goa’uld – he had successfully blocked them so that it was no more annoying than a fly buzzing him. It was as if something inside had decided – enough! And it was.

What kept him from firing the second time was not the words of his friends; “Colonel”, ‘O’Neill”, “Jack.”

It was the quiet of the wind whispering “Jack. Don’t”. It was the quiet under toned plea that Sam called out to him that reached his soul-that part of it anyway that hadn’t been bought and sold with any regularity. The part of his soul that ‘loved’ had heard her and he stepped back, lowering the Zat.

Jack turned and looked directly at her and as their eyes met, she understood he had heard and was grateful.

He motioned for Teal’c to pick up the Goa’uld and radioed for Jacob.

When they were safely on board, they never noticed the Warriors that came out from behind the trees and dropped their weapons. They watched the Tau’ri Hunter load their Master onto a ship and disappear. After a few more minutes, they melted back into the forest.

Angra Mainyu found himself in a cell specifically for him. Designed courtesy of the Tok’ra.

Jack watched him from behind the two-way mirror into his cell. His eyes were hard-his stance very erect. And he didn’t speak.

His team stood behind him –silent guardians. From the way Jack behaved on the ship, to his behavior here at the SGC, they knew him to be at war with several different emotions. He was aware that they were watching him intently.

After a long hour Jack finally turned away from the window and left the room.

Irony is a funny thing. When one considers it’s definition-you would think that Webster was the only authority on it. Unless of course, you are involved with Washington Politics and it takes on a different meaning.

Major Gordon left the Senator’s office in puzzlement. In his hands was a file containing his next set of orders.

The Major had taken them off the Senator’s desk and shook his head as he read it. What he was to do next, well, that is where the irony came in.

The Major considered the meaning of irony-an obviously America First politician who wore suits made in Hong Kong, shoes made in Italy, smoked Cuban cigars and drank Russian vodka. The biggest irony though-was the “allies” that he involved himself with for this nasty business that the Major now held in his hands. That was going to have the biggest showdown when it all finally hit the …well, he knew what was going to hit. The question remained, who was going to be there to clean up the mess. Major Gordon didn’t even want to consider that. He didn’t even want to think about how much of it was going to land on him once this dirty business was over - God help them all. If this doesn’t go the way the Senator and those that had arranged O’Neill’s kidnapping, as well as those of Major Carter and Dr. Greene. There were too many questions and too much was at stake as it was now for the plan to fall apart. Too many secrets. Too many lies and too many heads will roll. Failure, as he had been told many times, is not an option.

Jack stood by the picture window in his living room. Once again, it was nighttime. Once again the moon was full and bright and shone directly into his living room.

Jack swirled the bottle of beer he held in his hand and then lifted it to where the light of the moon reflected itself through the golden brown liquid.

Angra Mainyu was now in custody and the interrogation would begin in earnest. The Tok’ra have promised their help, and as of yet, the Asgard had not responded. Jack considered that maybe Thor was busy with the Replicators.

Jack shook his head to clear the thoughts swirling there. Taking a long swallow of the beer, he grimaced slightly at the biting taste, but relished the cool liquid going down.

He then lowered the blinds and closed the curtain and went off to bed.

Cold hearted orb that rules the night
Remove the colors from our sight.
Red is gray
And yellow is white.
And we decide which is right
And which is an illusion?

Knights in White Satin-Moody Blues

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