Something I wrote a while back...
Scene: A diner-type restaurant, P.O.V. from one of the counter seats somewhat to the left of the central serving area. An ordinary diner except the customer takes a number when the food is ordered and picks it up at the counter when the number is called. Outside the window, there is an illuminated sign visible with the restaurant name, "Fred" on it. The menus also have "Fred" plus the address on the outside cover.
COUNTER MAN: Thirty-three!
CUSTOMER 1: Here! (He goes to counter.)
COUNTER MAN: Hair or bugs?
CUSTOMER 1: Hair, please.
COUNTER MAN reaches over with a pair of salad tongs into a large box of hair and pulls out a large forkful. He deposits this onto the customer's food. CUSTOMER 1 takes food and goes back to his seat.
COUNTER MAN: Thirty-four!
CUSTOMER 2 waves and comes to counter.
COUNTER MAN: Hair or bugs?
CUSTOMER 2: Light hair, please.
COUNTER MAN reaches into a different box of hair and pulls out a large forkful of white and blond hair, which he places on CUSTOMER 2's food. CUSTOMER 2 returns to his seat.
COUNTER MAN: Thirty-five, thirty-six!
Two women come up to counter, from a booth piled high with shopping bags.
COUNTER MAN: Hair or bugs?
WOMAN 1: Well, I don't know...I've only had hair before...[turns to WOMAN 2] what do you think?
WOMAN 2: Come on, Janine, live a little! I'm getting bugs.
WOMAN 1: But they are so famous for hair...I don't want to get something I won't like. But I know what you mean...I'm so predictable...I should do something different. Oh...[to COUNTER MAN, who is getting impatient but trying not to show it] what do you think?
COUNTER MAN: The bugs are real fresh today, ma'am.
WOMAN 1: Well, ok, I guess I'll try them. Can I bring it back if I don't like it?
COUNTER MAN: Sure thing...bugs for both of you?
WOMAN 2: Uh-huh.
COUNTER MAN opens WOMAN 2's sandwich and pours a ladle full of cockroaches and millipedes on her sandwich. Some get away, but he puts the top of the bun down before they can all run off. He pours another ladle full over WOMAN 1's food, which is something with a lot of gravy, so the bugs get stuck.
WOMAN 1: Could I get a little hair on the side?
I don't know why on earth you'd want to steal this, but at any rate, it is Copyright Sandra Conley, 1999