good: your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
bad: you can't find your birth control pills.
ugly: your daughter borrowed them.

good: your son studies a lot in his room.
bad: you find several porn movies hidden there.
ugly: you're in them.

good: your husband understands fashion.
bad: he's a cross-dresser.
ugly: he looks better than you.

good: your son's finally maturing.
bad: he's involved with the woman next door.
ugly: so are you.

good: you give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.
bad: she keeps interrupting.
ugly: with corrections.

good: your wife's not talking to you.
bad: she wants a divorce.
ugly: she's a lawyer.

good: the postman's early.
bad: he's wearing fatigues and carrying an ak47.
ugly: you gave him nothing for christmas.

good: you're son is dating someone new.
bad: it's another man.
ugly: he's you're best friend.

good: you're wife is pregnant.
bad: it's triplets.
ugly: you had a vasectomy five years ago.

good: your daughter got a new job.
bad: as a hooker.
ugly: your coworkers are her best clients.
way ugly: she makes more money than you do.