fu&

perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the english language today is the word "fu&". it is the one magical word which just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. in language, "fu&" falls into many grammatical categories. it can be used as a verb, both transitive (john fu&ed mary) and intransitive (mary was fu&ed by john). it can be an active verb (john really gives a fu&) or a paßive verb (mary doesn't give a fu&). or an adverb (mary is fu&ing interested in john) and as a noun (mary is a terrific fu&). it can be used as an adjective (mary is fu&ing beautiful). as you can see there are few words with the versatility of "fu&". besides its sexual connotations, this credible word can be used to decribe many situations:
greetings "how the fu& are you?"
fraud "i got fu&ed by the car dealer."
dismay "oh, fu& it."
trouble "well, i guess i'm fu&ed again."
aggression "fu& you!"
disgust "fu& me!"
confusion "what the fu&...?"
difficulty "i don't understand this fu&ing thing."
despair "fu&ed again."
incompetence "he fu&s up everything."
displeasure "what the fu& is going on."
lost "where the fu& are we?"
disbelief "unfu&ingbelievable!"
retaliation "up your fu&ing aß!"

it can be used in an anatomical description - he's a fu&ing aßhole
it can be used to tell time - it's five fu&ing thirty
it can be used in business - how did i wind up in this fu&ing job
it can be maternal - as in motherfu&er

general custer's last words, "where did all them fu&ing indians come from?"
last words from the mayor of hiroshima, "what the fu& was that?"
immortal words of the captain of the titanic who said, "where's all the fu&ing water coming from?"

the mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the word. how can anyone be offended when you say "fu&". use it frequently in your daily speech, you will be proud and it will add to your fu&ing prestige.

today, say to someone, "fu& you!"

$it

$it may just be the most powerful word in the english language. you can be $it faced, $it out of luck, or have $it for brains. with a little effort you can get your $it together, find a place for your $it or decide to $it or get off the pot.

you can smoke $it, buy $it, sell $it, lose $it, find $it, forget $it, and tell others to eat $it and die.

you can $it or go blind, have a $it fit or just $it your life away.

some people know their $it while others can't tell the difference between $it and shineola.

there are lucky $its, dumb $its, crazy $its, and sweet $its. there is bull$it, horse$it, and chicken$it.

you can throw $it, sling $it, catch $it, or duck when $it hits the fan.

you can give a $it or serve $it on a shingle. you can find yourself in deep $it or be happier than a pig in $it.

some days are colder than $it, some days are hotter than $it, and some days are just plain $itty.

some music sounds like $it, things can look like $it, and there are times when you feel like $it.

you can have too much $it, not enough $it, the right $it, the wrong $it or a lot of weird $it.

you can carry $it, have a mountain of $it, or find yourself up $it creek without a paddle.

sometimes you really need this $it and sometimes you don't want any $it at all.

sometimes everything you touch turns to $it and other times you swim in a lake of $it and come out smelling like a rose.

when you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of creation. and remember, once you know your $it, you don't need to know anything else...