Ruined Part 1

The computer screen went blurry as Cameron's eyes glazed over. She pulled off her glasses and set them down on her desk, rubbing her eyes for a moment. Her head was pounding as if she had cried for two days straight. It had only been a few minutes, actually, in the back of the women's bathroom. She felt her chest tightening, just thinking about it all, and she had to stop and take a breath.

Cameron glanced at the clock, suddenly understanding why no one was around. They'd all gone home. In fact, Chase and Foreman had said goodnight before they left, but she had been too deep in thought to notice.

She turned away from her computer and held her head up with her hand, skimming over some of House's mail. This one was a request for House to come speak at a diagnostics seminar. 'Yeah right,' she thought and tossed the letter into the trash. Usually she'd try to talk him into it - leave it open on his desk, in his way so he'd have to read it - but she didn't have the energy for it anymore.

As she turned back to the rest of his mail, she glanced up through the glass walls. House's voice carried far in the hospital at night and Cameron could hear him before he had even rounded the corner farther down the hall. She suddenly wished she had left, seeing he was heading straight for his office.

Stacy was behind him, badgering him with more paperwork. Cameron watched as House turned back to Stacy right in front of the main conference room. She didn't feel like watching this, but she didn't want to draw attention to herself, so she stayed put.

She watched Stacy, wanting to tell her that she had ruined everything. Cameron had actually thought she'd had a chance with House before Stacy had come back. She thought she'd still had a chance with House even for a little while after her return. Now it was obvious that House was too preoccupied with Stacy's marriage to even give Cameron a glance.

All she wanted was his attention. She wanted the attention he gave to Stacy.

Cameron sighed and closed her eyes. What was wrong with her that she wanted attention from such a...

Her eyes sprang open as House barged into the conference room. He stopped when he saw her sitting at her desk, her hands folded in her lap as if she was waiting for something.

Maybe him.

"Cameron." He nodded slightly, then glanced at his watch. "It's a little late, isn't it?"

She shrugged. The only place to go was home. She figured loneliness in a hospital full of people was better than loneliness in a cramped apartment.

"You're still here." She pointed out.

"Paperwork."

That was it; no snark. Cameron felt like she was back in high school, crushing so hard on a guy that she felt any moment or day now, that guy would just like her. She hated the waiting. And the awkwardness.

House had turned and was heading for the adjoining door for his office. He heard her take a breath and stopped to turn back, his hand on the door.

She had been about to say something - anything - but now that she had his eyes on her, she stopped herself. She shut her mouth and just looked at him.

The expectant look he'd had for only a second disappeared and he went into his office.

'Idiot.' She scolded herself, hastily removing her lab coat as she stood up. She pulled her jacket on and grabbed her bag, ready to leave. Her hand was on the door and she knew she shouldn't have, but she looked back.

Through the glass wall she could see him, leaning over his desk, his hand up to his forehead. Cameron let out a breath slowly, trying to get a grip, but it all went away when he looked up at her. She couldn't stop herself and she was in his office, standing by his desk before she knew what happened.

He sat back in his chair, waiting for her to say something. She had an unsteady look in her eyes and House was about to actually ask if she was alright when she dropped her bag to the floor and climbed into his lap.

Cameron kissed him, her hands on both sides of his neck, and relief ran through her when he didn't resist. His hands went to her lower back, holding her on him, grabbing hold of her sweater there. She sighed on his lips and he held her tighter. She leaned forward a bit, giving him just enough room to grab her ass.

Her fingers ran over his shirt, pulling at the buttons impatiently as she began to kiss his neck.

House leaned his head back and opened his eyes. "Cameron," He felt her eyes flutter open against his cheek and he wanted to kick himself for speaking. He felt her stiffen above him and a moment later she was across the room, grabbing her bag on the way out.

"I'm..." She put her fingers to her mouth and didn't dare look at him, so she turned and left.

Cameron left him watching her walk away.



Ruined