You stand apart from your clan as you perform your duties, a man of stunning appearance, a man of wit and humor, and the man who is my lover.

It began as a way to get secrets from you, the most accomplished of Crane diplomats. We had already done what we could to entice your interest—with wealth, with beautiful women, with promises of power. Yet you remain steadfast in your loyalty to your clan. I studied you for weaknesses. I knew your habits, your schedules, your interests and your dislikes. You had no hidden secrets, not even the slightest rumor of wrongdoing. You were perfection.

Impossible, I said. No man could be faultless. I set out to subvert you. In court I sought to incite you deliberately and yet you never responded to my insinuations and rumors. You merely diverted everyone's attention somewhere else, currying favors and giving gifts. It was impossible to destroy the reputation of someone so well-liked. I knew I had to find a different way, and decided to seduce you. I was skilled in those arts, while you were so lacking in sexual understanding there was no doubt you were virgin. I secretly bribed and blackmailed and got access to your rooms. I made sure your servants were unavailable to respond to your summons. I had practiced my sincere words and memorized poetry. And then I entered your room and did as I planned.

You must have been so lonely in your cold chambers before I came. I didn't realize the deep loneliness that accompanied your exalted place until I felt your passion at my slightest seductions. I proceed to make love and spoke sweet words. You needed the love I promised, you needed to feel human even inside your cold citadel. I could have been an enemy, but you trusted me with more than your life. You trusted me with your heart, and in time I realized this was worth more than destroying you. I had fallen in love with you, sometime in the midst of trying to destroy you. My kisses and words and my caresses were now imbued with true feelings. It was a discovery that made me happy and afraid at the same time. I was happy to find my love, but I was afraid to continue. I know that at one point I'll have to go on with my plans. When you sleep in my arms I think how we could escape this trap of my own making. I thought of leaving you, but I was tearing myself apart. Night became our sanctuary, but day would still come to take me away.

And by daylight I see you, a symbol of cold perfection, but I hold you in my hand. I could get the information I needed, I could twist you to do as my clan wishes, but I never do. I know that beyond your cold mask you were a warm and vulnerable man desperately seeking love. You have no idea who I am, though you have guessed my clan. You have no idea that in the day I am your worst rival for the Imperial favor.

In the midst of a skirmish of politics you acknowledge me as an equal, and I regard each word you say as a gift. You would never say that if you knew I was your lover. Your anger and your broken heart would tell you I did it all for my clan, and in the beginning it would have been true. But now—now I would die to think of you never being there to be loved. In night's darkness we are phantoms who exist only to be together; in the daylight we are people determined to utterly destroy each other. This contrast is part of the appeal and part of the danger. Will you uncover the truth today or tomorrow? I never know. I dread that moment.

But what is it you carry? You are carrying the fan I left by accident this morning, and it does not match your attire. I watch you closely as you talk to an emissary. You are gauging the reactions of everyone in your line of sight, in search of the fan's owner. As you say your parting words you let your guard slip and caress it with a dreamy smile on your face. I swallow hard, remembering your hands gripping my shoulders as we made love in haste, remembering your moans and sighs of pleasure. The court feels too exposed; I want the night to come so I may be with you again.

You look up, and I am grateful for my schooling. I give you a mocking salute and leave, and hope I had been quick enough with my mockery. I think you have guessed my secret. Strange, but now that we are prisoners to each other, I am relieved. I am not alone in feeling trapped anymore. It is your turn to make a move.

You follow me, asking me to stop for a while. Without removing the smile from your face you tell me I had dropped my fan, extending the ebony and black fan you were carrying. I did not know what to say. To reveal the truth, right now? To be true to myself and to you? To be free to love you? To be free to love you....

Boldly I take it, and your smile widened. You are pleased to know I am your lover. All my worries were for naught. The day has finally come that we are together even in light. We are more than phantoms making love amidst pretenses. We are now true lovers.

You say you admire my fan, and I open it to show the elegant design. On the fan's surface is a poem I had told you during one of our many nights. I close it too quickly, and you confirmed the truth anew. You whisper you will wait tonight before departing with a smile and look of longing.

I'll come to you tonight, my Crane, and you will love me. For who I am and for who you are, with no masks, and no darkness.