Title: Labyrinthian Park: The Lost Underground

Fandom: labyrinth

Parts: 17 & epilogue

Disclaimer: I own nothing that belongs to labyrinth, I own none of the

real people used, Bowie and his family belong to themselves, and Anything

Jurassic Park is the genius of Michael Crichton, Michael Eisner and Disney

are their own property

Rating: PG13, maybe light R

Summary: Sequel to Labyrinthian Park, crossover with Lost World - There is

another island of labyrinth wildlife and Michael Eisner is jazzing to use

it to his advantage.

Ch. 1

            The yacht slowly stopped as it approached the island and its owners took

their time getting to the beach. They were, after all, on holiday, and

they worked so much at any other time it was nice to be able to go at a

leisurely pace for once. David Bowie smiled slightly at the warmth

of the sun and the tranquility of the island; it was definitely a place

where no one would ever find him. He took a few moments to survey the

view; it looked peaceful enough. Turning slightly he nodded, and the other

two that were accompanying him followed his lead onto the sandy

beach.

            "I suppose this is as good a place to take a break as any," he said,

turning to smile at his wife and son. It wasn't very often that he got the

chance to just spend time with his family anymore, and so far everything

was perfect. He turned slightly at movement and smiled as

Joe started to wander off towards the forest that was a little ways back

from the beach.

            "Be careful, all right?" Iman called, frowning suddenly.

            "Darling, he isn't exactly a child," Bowie said, wrapping an arm around

her shoulders.

            "I know...but I just have a feeling..."

            "So do I," he said, grinning before moving to kiss her.

***************************************

            Joe took in all of his new surroundings as he walked past the very edge

of the forest. Iman was right; he knew not to go into the forest, but

there was no harm in meandering around the beach. Besides, they deserved

some time alone.

            He turned suddenly a rustling in the trees and his mouth dropped open as

a tiny little gnome jumped out and stood a few feet in front of him.

Crouching down brought him closer to eye level with the thing, which was

standing on a fallen log.

            "Hey there...you look like something from...I don't believe it!" he

whispered, smiling slightly at the little thing. The young man and the

brownie stood gazing at each other for a few moments, and finally Joe

smiled at the similarity it held to something in a movie. He turned and

called out to his father. "Dad, you've gotta come see this! You won't

believe what I've found!!" He turned back at another rustle and gave a

startled gasp when he found that he was now surrounded by little brownies.

            Quickly, he stood and took a few steps back, but there were too many and

they certainly weren't afraid of him. He turned as more gathered at his

back and suddenly a very bad feeling began to creep over him. This was

like a scene from another, more recent movie...

            "Ooh...big giant does the fraggin walk-walk," one muttered, his speech

almost incomprehensible.

            "Footsteps go boomba-boom!" another agreed. Slowly all turned to face the

singer's son.

            "You're mother is a fraggin ardvark!!!!" one shouted, almost as if it

were a battle cry, before all the brownies ran toward the man. He took a

few steps back, but they kept coming...he really didn't want to hurt any

of them but...Joe kicked out, causing the things to jump back

suddenly. Seizing the initiative, he grabbed a stone from the ground and

hefted it, turning to face the beings behind him.

            "Hey!!" he yelled when one suddenly jumped onto his arm and snatched it,

causing the others to become much braver. Suddenly, little men came at him

from all sides, jumping onto his arms and legs. There was no way he could

shake them off; there were too many of them! "Dad...DAD!!!!!" he screamed

before his shouts turned from words to shrieks.

***********************

            Iman looked up suddenly and her eyes widened at the shouts.

"David...that's Joe!!" The singer returned her horrified look and

immediately took off in the direction that his son had only minutes

before.

            "Joe? Joe!!!" he called, as did Iman, who was right on his heels. They

sprinted along the beach, following his footprints and screams until they

came to a spot where sand met forest. David skidded to a stop and his

mouth dropped open in horror at the sight that greeted him.

            "JOOOOEEEE!!!!"

******************************

            I gazed in awe at the humongous house...it was astonishing. Slowly, I

climbed the steps and dared to walk into the enormous entry way. I had no

idea why I had been summoned to the house, but I didn't think it could be

anything good. I turned as two familiar figures clammered down the stairs.

            "Selah!!" Sarah Williams shouted, laughing slightly as she hugged me.

            "Sarah! I didn't know you were going to be here!"

            "Jareth and I decided to visit Uncle John," she explained, nodding to her

husband, one of four versions that I had discovered on my last little

adventure due to John Hammond.

            "Does anyone know?"

            "No...I just transport us back and forth when I need to, no one suspects

a thing except those who know," Jareth smiled, gazing adoringly at his

wife.

            "How have you been?" Sarah asked.

            "Oh, same old same old...looks like you two are doing well," I grinned,

noticing the bulge of Sarah's middle. She blushed and nodded and I

couldn't resist laughing. I sobered quickly, though, when I spoke again.

            "Do you have any idea why I'm here?"

            "Sorry, we're just as in the dark as you," Jareth said, frowning.

            The reunion was abruptly spoiled as another familiar, but not so welcome

figure came into the room.

            "Ah, you must be Ms. Specht...I don't know why Hammond summoned you here,

but it better not be about anyone knowing!" Michael Eisner said, his smile

icy.

            "If anyone knows, at least they now know the truth of that nightmare," I

said, glaring.

            "What nightmare? Nothing happened." I looked at the head of Disney in

shock.

            "What do you mean *nothing happened!!!? There are witnesses-"

            "Who got paid just as much as you did to keep quiet...as far as anyone

thinks, the movie based on your so-called adventure was just another

fantasy from the minds of Lucas and Henson. But you dared to write about

it on that fan-fic list!! How much did you get to do it?" he spat

out, glaring daggers.

            "Hey, man, I don't get anything to do my stories, and as far as anyone

thinks, that was just it: a story! Thanks to you twisting the truth and

shoving it in the public eye everyone that's read it thinks it's just a

bizarre creation from my mind and Lucas's! And what are you doing here

anyway?" I snarled, my eyes following the man as he took some paperwork

from another and started signing forms.

            "Simple...I'm taking over Ingen."

            "What, corrupting one company isn't good enough for you? You have to get

your slimy paws on cloning and genetic tampering too?" I shot back, and

Sarah's Jareth actually had to hold me back. He turned and gave me a

sickly sweet smile before picking up his briefcase.

            "Well...this was a pleasant meeting...I'll leave you to go see John now.

By the way Ms. Specht...you aren't at all what I expected...I thought you

had manners. Don't expect Disney to be offering you any roles any time

soon."

            "Oh, I think I'll live," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

*****************************

            I couldn't help but smile at the feeble figure in the bedroom. True, he

had nearly gotten me killed, but Hammond had meant well and really did

regret all that had happened.

            "You were right...and I was wrong...I bet you never expected me to admit

it, did you?" he sighed, smiling as I entered.

            " Not in a million years. Okay, John, why am I here?"

            "Well, I have an amazing story to tell you..." he paused as he sat up in

bed and I prepared myself to listen.

            "You see, Labyrinthian Park was just the showroom of the entire

operation...I believe you may already know that there is another island, a

sight B where all the engineering and raising of the creatures took

place," he said, smiling as he flashed me a knowing look. I blushed

slightly and he continued. "That was where we also took care of some

with...mutations....After the initial incident at Labyrinthian Park the

complex on the other island was destroyed by a hurricane, an act of God,

almost....so all our people left and the creatures were left to develop an

ecosystem all their own. No fences, no security systems, no people."

            "Amazing..." I whispered as he handed me blueprints of the island, trying

to picture an entire island filled with mythical creatures from one of my

favorite movies.

             "Yes...and now, I've hired a team to go back and do research...to

observe without interfering so that I might be able to convince the public

and authorities to keep this island isolated. There is our equipment

expert, Michelle, though I believe you know her as Moonlight

Mitz-"

            "Mitzy is in on this!? How did you convince *her*?" I asked, alarmed.

            "You'd be surprised what a little cash offered to a college student can

do," he replied, getting up. "And then there's the photographer, whom you

know as ESCAP-"

            "Essy?! No wonder she hasn't finished the story she told me about...she's

in on this!?" He nodded slightly. "Then there are three others...I was

hoping you would go to complete the team..."

            "You can't be serious! After what happened last time?!" I replied

instantly.

             "Time is running short...Up till now I've had total control over INGEN

and was able to keep humans away from the island....but there was an

incident last week. A family taking a yachting trip stopped over at the

island and there son was-"

            "Was what?!"

            "Oh, he's quite all right...it was just the brownies that got to him; the

more dangerous creatures have their territory on the inland. Everything

is all right and settled...although Bowie was quite scared when he saw the

lipstick stains...commonly mistaken for blood, you know," he replied, and

I nodded, remembering what had happened to Jade.

            "Wait a minute...Bowie? You mean it was Joe that-"

            "Now you see why Eisner was able to take control away from me...he wants

to send a team in and take samples to his theme parks...we need to get to

that island before they do." He was so serious, and I felt for him, but...

             "John...I'm...I'm flattered, but no way! You can't be serious...I won't

go! In fact, I'm calling the others that you hired and telling them to

stay away!" I said, turning towards the door. "Who were the other three

team members?"

            "I want you to know that they came to me; I didn't ask them," he replied,

and I turned back slowly.

            "Who?!"

            "They were perfectly willing...since they knew the territory-"

            "Millennia!" I practically shouted, remembering that she had told me she

was going on vacation. She sort of forgot to mention where she was headed,

although she did tell me there was a beach. Quickly I ran over all who

were on the last expedition and my mind focused on one

particularly excited listian... "Lisa. Oh, good grief Hammond, why did you

let them go?! Who was the other...which listian?!"

            "It wasn't another listian," he said quietly, and my eyes widened as I

remembered who I hadn't heard from in a while.

            "Jareth," I whispered. He nodded silently.

            "They're already there...they were very adament that they go ahead before

everyone else...to prepare and make sure everything was safe, to get an

uninhibited look at the ecosystem..."

            "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" I asked, looking at him pleadingly.

            "Because we knew you would have stopped us." I sighed and considered the

possibilities momentarily before heading out the door, knowing what I had

to do.

             "Sorry, Hammond...but this isn't a research operation any longer...now

it's a rescue mission."

*************************************

Ch. 2

            “Why in blazes isn't this stupid thing working!!!?" I snarled, thumping

the satellite phone that refused to work against a jeep that was inside

the warehouse.

            "Hey hey!!! That's not how you treat this stuff! Ziggy? Is that you?!" I

turned and smiled weakly at Mitz.

            "Hey, Mitz....how did you get talked into this?"

            "Let's just say I'm curious and I need the cash. Here, let me see

that..." She raised an eyebrow and grinned. "So you're as talented with

all technology as you are with computers?" she quipped, knowing that I am

probably the biggest techno-moron on the face of the earth. I rolled

my eyes and took a look at all the equipment that was being tested.

            "We're moving out today," I said quietly.

            "Are you insane!? None of this stuff has been tested yet!" she argued,

but was interupted as another figure arrived on the scene.

            "Hey Mitz...Ziggy! I didn't think you would be up to this," Essy said,

shaking my hand.

             "Let's just say I now have a reason to go...so this is why you've been

so busy lately?" I asked, remembering that she still hadn't sent me a part

of the story she was working on (yes, that's a hint, prod, whatever!). She

blushed and nodded. "Well, I guess it's a reasonable excuse...do you guys

really realize what you've gotten yourselves into?" I asked, but was cut

off by a fifteen-year-old that came barrelling into the warehouse.

            "Ziggy!!!" Fairy Bite laughed, running up to me.

            "Hey! What took you so long?"

            "Couldn't find the place at first...you give really lousy directions, you

know?" I rolled my eyes good-naturedly; I never claimed to be able to find

my way across the continent by the stars...in fact, I can barely find my

way across the street sometimes...(okay, maybe I'm not

that bad, but you get the point!)

            "What's going on?" she asked, smiling.

*************************

            "What do you mean the plans are off?! You mean I came all the way here to

meet you and you're cancelling on me?!" she practically shouted as we

entered the small office.

            "Look...something's come up," I sighed, wondering if I should find a

hiding place. She glared momentarily and I tried to casually figure out if

I could fit underneath the desk.

            "And I'm not good enough to come along?!" Ouch. I winced and sat in front

of her.

            "Hey, hey! It's not that...I wish I could say more, but.....Look,

Junior...Padawan...one of my best commentors," I said, trying to calm her

down. She really did remind me of what I was like at that age. "I'll

reschedule, I promise, but you just can't come-"

            "Selah Specht, please report to the ground floor-" the intercom squawked.

             "But I won't get in the way! I can take care of myself!!"

            "That's true, but this is different," I said, getting up and going to

meet Mitz and Essy, Fairy Bite right on my heels, wishing I could just

tell her how even I didn't want to be going.

********************************** 

             Fairy Bite frowned and absently pushed her glasses back up on her nose,

resisting to shout out how it wasn't fair. She was hiding

something....what could be up? The girl hung back slightly as Moonlight

Mitz demonstrated how some new machine called the "high hide" would work.

What was going on? She sighed again and walked away, her attention

distracted by two steel trailers...hmmmm.....

             She paused at Selah's remark, "We'll be leaving in three hours," and the

others' protests before continuing into the trailer. Inside it looked

pretty high-tech and had all kinds of research

equipment...living materials were probably in the other trailer. Her

attention was captivated by a large wall map that detailed a string of

islands near Costa Rica.

            What *was* going on?

**********************************

            I resisted the urge to scream as the ferry took us closer to our doom.

This was nuts, this was lunacy, this was completely insane! We had barely

gotten out alive the first time, and now we were headed to an island

completely run by these creatures!!! I turned as Mitz came up to

me with the boat captain.

            "He's going on about something," she said as he jabbered in Spanish. I

listened intently for a few minutes, trying to remember everything four

years of high school Spanish had taught me. I was pretty fluent in it, but

my conjugation is terrible. I slowly translated what he was saying...

            "He says he won't go any further down the river...there are too many

stories about fisherman coming here and never returning, and his son is

with him. He'll drop us off and then go back to the harbor...he has a

computer and a satellite phone and when we contact him he'll be there in

two hours...but he will not stay here....not near these islands. They

call them the five...muertes?" I asked, my eyes widening. He nodded and

told me how two were rumored to be overrun by dinosaurs, one was the

island I had already been on, one no one had been to, and the

other was the one we were about to land on...

            "What is it? What does it mean?" Essy said, breaking me out of my trance.

             "He says they're called the five deaths."

****************************************

Ch. 3

            "Come on, come on! They could be in danger!" I yelled at the other two

with me. "Look, here's the beacon from their phone, and our dot is nearly

on top of theirs!" I cried, pointing to the tracking device Moonlight Mitz

was carrying. "They should be right over-"

                         On the ground in front of us were three abandoned backpacks. Gulping, I

knelt beside them to inspect their contents.

            "This one is Mil's...it's got Low in it," I said, pulling out the album

briefly. "This one has to be Lisa's...that crazy girl even packed a pouch

for the occassion!" I laughed, not even daring to touch *that*. I moved

onto the third. "This one has to be J's...I don't know who else would pack

an extra pair of tights for the occassion," I said, smirking slightly

before pulling out their satellite phone. "I think we're in trouble."

            "MIL!!!! LISA!!!!!! JARETH!!!!!" I bellowed, but there was no response.

            "MIL!!!" cried Mitzy.

            "JARETH!!!" I cried again.

            "LISA!!? LISA, SMUT QUEEN!!" I turned and raised an eyebrow at Essy.

            "How many other Lisa's do you think are on the island?" I asked wryly,

but she wasn't watching. Her eyes were glued on a section of undergrowth

that was now moving.

            Abruptly, a herd of whatever kind of animal Ludo was came walking slowly

out of the bushes, complete with babies. Mitzy sighed slightly and Essy

was in complete awe.

            "I don't believe it..."

            "Wow..."

            "Yeah, yeah...get it out of your systems now. That's how all this

starts...then it evolves to screaming, and running...and....climbing," I

said, wincing at the memories from the last adventure.

            "I've got to get a picture!" ESCAP whispered, pulling out her camera as

the herd passed by. Climbing onto a fallen log, she began to snap pictures

like there was no tomorrow.

             "HEY ESSY!!!" I laughed as she nearly fell off the log, but ran over

quickly to the figure that had startled her.

            "LISA!!!? YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!"

            "Of course I am...I'm a nineties woman!" she replied, hugging me. "I

never thought you'd come, though!" 

            "I came to take you all back!" I replied, which got a good laugh from

her. "What?"

            "Come on, aren't you curious as to what this place is like? And we've

got equipment and stuff this time." I nodded, finally admitting that I was

a little curious about it all.

            "HEY MIL!!! LOOK WHO'S HERE!!!!" Another familiar face popped out of the

bushes and Millennia ran at me in glee.

            "ZiggyZiggyZiggy!!! You made it! I knew you'd come!!!"

            "Wait a minute...you mean you came early just so I'd rush out here to

save you and I'd be forced to continue the mission?" I asked, frowning.

            "Uh...pretty much, yeah! Come on, it wouldn't be the same without ya!

Besides, it wasn't my idea!" she said quickly.

            "Oh? Then who's was it?" I asked.

            "Mine." I turned slightly and my expression softened upon meeting the

goblin king's face that had saved my life the last time around. "I wasn't

sure if you'd come or not...I'm glad you did." I nearly melted at that,

but I hate to admit when someone has just bested me.

            "Well, we're leaving, right now!" I said firmly, starting to walk back to

base camp. "This whole idea is just insane-hey, what are you doing!!!?"

Jareth's attention was now occupied by the herd that had now reached a

stopping point to get food. A small baby Ludo was sitting in

the tall grass, looking quite peaceful.

            "Mitz, give me your camera," he said, and she obeyed silently. Slowly, he

walked towards the young thing.

            "Oh, Jareth....Jareth no, please, get back here!" I pleaded. He didn't

even turn to acknowledge my cries. "Oh, he's not...."

            "He is," Mil said, crouching beside me to get a better look. Lisa, Mitz,

and Essy did the same. Soon, the king was inches away from the beast,

looking incredulously at the thing.

            "I never dreamed that this all was real..." ESCAP whispered and I raised

an eyebrow.

            "What did you think you were going to observe?" Mil asked.

            "Animals," she replied.

            "Well...I may not have a college degree yet, but that looks like an

animal to me!" I shot back.

            The cub purred and asked in a tiny little voice, "Awe you fwiend?"

            "Awww..." Lisa cooed, melting at the kodak moment. It was kinda adorable,

but still...oh, well, maybe it wouldn't be too bad. It looked harmless

enough. I widened my eyes as Jareth reached out a hand to stroke the cub's

fur.

            "Oh, he's not...please tell me...he has to touch it....he can never just

look, he always has to touch," I moaned.

            "And how would you know?" I turned to regard a grinning Lisa that now had

a notepad and pen whipped out, eager to get all the details.

            "I don't mean *that*!!!" I practically shouted. "You know what I mean!"

She laughed and returned her stuff to her pack. My head turned as Jareth

took a picture and the film began to rewind, giving the beast much

distress. Suddenly, the herd came running.

            "Good lord, use the tranquilizers!!" I cried to Mitz who had a stun gun

at the ready.

            "Are you sure? They're just defending the baby...besides, he's the king!"

She gasped as one took a swing at Jareth with a tree branch. He narrowly

avoided it and quickly ran back to us.

            "Yes, but unfortunately these creatures have been raised without

labyrinthian society structures...they have no idea who I am, anyway. And

if there are other versions here, we haven't found them, yet." He paused

to regard the herd that now surrounded the baby, leading it away

from us intruders.

            "And if they're are, I'll find them!!" Lisa laughed, an eager look on her

face. I sighed as we got up and started towards the base camp.

            "Didn't it ever occur to you to tell me what was going on?" I asked J,

frowning.

            "You would've tried to stop me!"

            "Duh! Come on, think of where I'm coming from! What would you have done

if I had gone off and not told you!"

            "Are you kidding? I would've tied you to the bed or something-" he paused

as all the others turned toward us and gave us curious glances.

"Figuratively speaking, of course," he said, grinning sheepishly.

            "Aw...I never get to hear any of the good stuff!"Lisa whined before

turning back around.

             "I'll stay," I sighed, "but only because I'm curious. And somebody needs

to be the cautious one!" Jareth laughed and wrapped an arm around me.

            "That's all I ask...besides, I think it's adorable that you rushed down

here to save us...Why, if it was just me here I'd-"

            "You'd what?! Tell me, come on, spill it Tights-boy!!" I turned in

surprise to find a very eager Lisa now beside us.

            "Turn off the sonar, Smut Queen! Nothing has happened between us and

nothing like *that* is going to happen," I assured her. She pouted and

started to walk away.

            "At least not while everyone else is around." I turned and gaped at the

goblin king.

             "JARETH!!!" He laughed and almost had to dodge my blow, but caught it,

instead.

            "Look...what's that?" he murmured, pointing to the camp.

            "FIRE!!!" Moonlight Mitz cried and we all took off to see what had

happened.

            "Who could've started it?!" I shrieked, barrelling through the brush. We

skidded to a halt upon reaching the camp and Essy immediately flung dirt

over the campfire to put it out. The door to the trailer slowly opened and

a meek figure walked out.

             "Uh...hi! I was just going to roast marshmellows until you guys got

back, I swear! I was bored with waiting!" I looked at Fairy Bite in total

astonishment...and I thought things couldn't surprise me this time!

****************************************** 

Ch. 4

            I stalked into the trailer after Fairy Bite with the goblin king right

behind.

            "Are you mad?" she asked quietly, turning around.

            "Well, I certainly don't look like this when I'm happy!!" I bit out,

grabbing the satellite phone and thumping it against the wall.

            "Hey, don't take out your anger on the phone!" Mitz called from outside.

            "Yea! There's enough violence in the world today!! It's time to stop the

madness!!!" Lisa added dramatically.

            "Thank you, Oprah!" I huffed, turning back to the other two. "Now, I'm

gonna be calm about this...I'm going to be perfectly peaceful...WHAT IN

BLAZES DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING!!!???"

            "Well...I thought that since I am a listian and all that it wouldn't

really matter that much-"

            "Well now you're here and you have a very good chance of not coming

back!" Jareth cut in, and I could tell he wasn't too thrilled, himself. I

sighed and collected myself...okay, what had she really done? She had

tagged along, yeah, but I would've probably done the same thing at that

age if the opportunity had arisen. Heck, if I hadn't been along on the

first trip, I would've tagged along at this age, too!

            "Okay, you can stay," I sighed.

            "What?!" she squealed, jumping up and down with a big grin on her face.

            "WHAT???!!!" J roared, turning to me.

            "Well, why not?" I asked, bracing myself. He stalked over to me and

thrusted a gloved finger in my face.

            "One, she's a newbie, two, I don't want to lose all my listians-"

            "Oh, so it's okay to lose me or one of the others?" I shot back, getting

in his face.

            "That's not what I meant! Besides she's only fift-"

            "It is so important to your future that you not even attempt to finish

that sentence," Fairy Bite cut in, giving the king an impressive glare. I

backed up slightly before speaking again.

            "Come on, Jareth, let her stay. She can handle herself, besides, I don't

think that there's much of a choice."

            "Fine." He turned to walk out and I could tell he was not pleased, but

Fairy Bite was blocking his way, staring out a window.

            "Hey, what's that?" she asked, pointing to the sky.

            "We've got company!" Mil shouted, and we rushed outside.

            Essy was looking up at the sky with a pair of binoculars. Bunches of

helicopters that toted jeeps and entrapment equipment of different sorts

soared through the air.

            "I don't get it...that helicopter says INGEN on the side...why would

Hammond send two teams?" she asked, frowning.

            "I don't know...but there's only one way to find out!" Lisa said,

following the choppers across the plain.

**********************************

            Land rovers and jeeps flew over the plain, chasing a herd of many sorts

of creatures, all mostly harmless. The family of Ludo-like creatures ran

quickly, as did fireys and goblins, shouting at the intruders. But they

couldn't avoid them forever, not with all the high-tech equipment. It

seemed that danger had finally come to their island paradise.

            Michael Eisner licked his lips in anticipation as the caravan erupted

onto the field from the thick underbrush. Quickly he took out his walkie

talkie and switched it on.

            "Okay, guys, after we catch these residents we'll sent up base here; it

looks as good a place as any-"

            "This is a firey game trail-

            "I didn't think fireys hunted!" Eisner interrupted.

            "They don't...it's where they have all their parties and play all their

games. Why else would it be called a game trail? Unless you want to be

ripped limb from limb in your sleep, I'd tell your cronies to put your

little camp somewhere else," a smooth voice said with strained patience

from up front. Eisner gulped and wondered when this guy he had hired had

suddenly gained power over him.

            "Uh, we'll find a camp later-" he mumbled into the walkie talkie before

clicking it off. He knew he needed an expert, but did this guy have an

ego! As if sensing his thoughts, the egotistical Jareth from the last

adventure turned round to glare at the executive.

            "Now I want to get a few things straight right now, Mr. Eisner...from now

on I am in in charge...I agreed to accompany you for one reason and one

reason only: my fee, which I'm giving back to you. All I want in

compensation is the chance to hunt and capture one particularly

impressive pouch that was rumored to be a product of a mutation and too

much Viagra...why and how are none of you're business. I've dealt too long

with listians who think they know more than I do, and I'm not about to

play second fiddle to an ignorant executive now. So go on, put up your

camp on a game trail, or in the Bog of Stench, I don't care! But I am in

charge...is this clear?" he raised an eyebrow and looked at the other man.

            "Uh...Okay," was all Eisner could mutter.

            "Good...now then," Jareth paused as he took out his own communications

device. "All right, Snare Team One, there's a gaggle of fireys headed your

way...use the caging devices on your vehicle-"

            "Tell them to make sure they sedate them," a female voice piped up from

the backseat.

            "Shut up!" he snapped, glaring at Ash. Surely there was a more

agreeable listian that he could've used...

            "I will not! First you steal my crystal so I'm visible, then you kidnap

me and force me to play wildlife expert so you can get all the credit and

your stupid pouch! I knew you had an inferiority complex...I just knew

it...." her voice faded at his glare.

            "I will have you know that I have nothing of the sort and I did not

*kidnap* you...I merely *borrowed* you so we could spend a little quality

time together," he said, smiling sweetly. Ash rolled her eyes in order to

keep from whimpering in terror and looked on as the entrapment team

lowered a cage over the surprised fireys.

            "All right...Team Two...there's a...a...." He paused to look at the door

guards, like Alph and Ralph, that were now running freely for a place to

hide. "The guys that look like they belong on playing cards!" he finally

said. "Get em!" The team obeyed instantly.

*******************

            "That is so cruel...." Millennia whispered from our hiding place.

            "Yeah...that moron sold us out!!!" Lisa growled. "Wait'll I get my hands

on him...I'll, I'll-"

            "Hey, Fairy's not of age! You'll have to limit your descriptions!" I

teased, grinning at Lisa who instantly returned it. Fairy Bite had an

expression that clearly wondered why she had tagged along with so many

weirdos in the first place.

            "No, he's after something that Hammond told us about...here, pouches roam

freely and can grow to surprising sizes due to a mutation...you'll find a

lot of species here are evolving," Jareth said quietly. "He must be after

it to satisfy his ego. Sound's like something he'd do."

            "Speaking of him...are there any other Jareths here?" Mitz asked, and I

could tell Lisa was once again perking up her smut radar.

            "I don't know...there might be," he answered, frowing as a dragon was

taken down....it wasn't miniature like the ones I had seen migrate to

water. It was enormous, but still had the same sleepy, nonthreatening

expression. The hunters gathered to surround it, and brought it down

hard with ropes, not even bothering to be gentle.

            "I can't believe it...we've got to do something," I whispered, my eyes

narrowing to slits. I had had my problems with Eisner before, but this

time he had gone too far.

**********************************

            Ash smiled slightly at the tiny brownie...it was kinda cute, no matter

what the hunter that had stumbled across it thought.

            "What is it?" he asked, glaring at the little thing.

            "A brownie that lives under tiles in the stone maze in the movie...he

must live under rocks or something here. He's harmless....the worst he'll

do is give you a makeover."

            "Well, he gives me the creeps! It's almost like he's not even afraid."

That was true...the little man was glaring at the two that had invaded his

space, not scared in the least.

            "You're mother is a fraggin ardvark!" he yelled and Ash couldn't help but

laugh...until the hunter took an electric prod and jabbed him out of the

way.

            "Well, maybe that'll teach him fear," he said, sneering. The girl

suddenly felt chilly at his expression and immediately backed away to join

the rest of the group.

            "And where do you think you're going?" She turned and glared at Jareth.

            "I don't believe that's your concern."

            "Well it is...because you're coming to help me get my prize. Look

there..." he said, pointing. She obeyed and frowned at tracks that had

been made by something scooting along...

             "Pouch tracks?" she asked, and the king nodded.

            "The nest should be close by...come on!" Without giving her a moment to

argue, he grabbed her hand and led her into the forest.

            "Hey, hey! What do you think you're doing?"

            "You don't have to be afraid, dear; I'm here to protect you," he said,

grinning at her. She gulped, hoping that was the only thing he was going

to do to her, given the prize he was after and all. She kept calm, though

and masked her fear as best she could.

             "Uh-huh...I'll believe it when I see it!" He wasn't paying attention to

her though...he was examining his tights.

            "Blast it! I knew I should've worn sturdier tights...these keep ripping

on tree branches," he whined, and Ash had to fight a laugh at his crushed

expression.

            "Maybe you should've gone with support hoes?" she asked, stifling a

giggle.

            "Shut up!!" he growled before taking her further towards the nest.

***************************************

            "There!" he whispered, triumphant as they crouched near the edge of the

nest. It looked quite cozy, indeed. It was surrounded by tall grass and

tree branches that blocked out much of the light, but on the inside it was

cushioned by pillows...how had they gotten there? There were

also things that looked very much like satin sheets...

            *So that's a pouch's natural habitat, huh?* Ash thought, fighting the

temptation to take a picture to post to the list later on. *These must be

the royal versions that didn't make it to the complete stage* she mused,

remembering all that was in Ziggy's supposed fictional story to

the list. All that was inside, though, was a small pouch that lounged

contentedly in the center of the nest; it was definitely not the one

Jareth was after.

            "That's the runt of the herd, I'm afraid...the others must be out hunting

or something...what!? Don't look at me that way, how should I know how a

pouch survives in the wild! Just think, you're the first to see this...you

could go down in history for this research!" Jareth whispered

ecstatically.

            "But why would I want to?" she replied. At his glare she got serious.

"Are we going to wait here all night? It looks like a storm's coming..."

she added, glancing at the clouds.

            "No, if we can't come to the trophy, then we lure the trophy to us," he

said, heading purposefully towards the nest.

******************************************* 

Ch. 5

            We snuck into INGEN's camp as soon as darkness approached. It looked like

we were just in time to see him give a conference of some sort...

            "Why is Eisner in a Mr. Rogers-ish sweater? Isn't he giving a lecture to

executives?" I asked, glancing at the others.

            "No...it looks like he's doing an introduction for the 'Wonderful World

of Disney'" Mil said, shaking her head in disgust.

            "Shhh!!! I wanna hear!" Lisa whispered.

            "Good evening, and welcome to the Wonderful World of Disney! Tonight

before our movie I've requested the chance to show you our lastest

endeavors to upgrade Disneyworld. It seems that John Hammond couldn't

quite bring his vision about, but here at Disney, anything is

possible!"

            "Oh, good, lord...is it over yet?" I asked whimpering softly.

            "Now, before I take you on a quick tour of the camp, I just want to thank

you, our viewing audience, for being so supportive..." he droned on, and

on, and on...

            "Couldn't Henson sue him for this?" ESCAP whispered.

            "No, because as living beings they're INGEN's property, not his...and

Eisner now has control over INGEN," Moonlight Mitz whispered back.

            "I didn't want to say anything earlier, but Hammond knew about this and

he told me there was a secret weapon he had sent along in case we needed

it, but he didn't tell me what it was," Jareth said softly, and I could

see his frown even in the darkness. It was really tearing him

up that his minions, his people were being treated like that, even if they

didn't know who he was. He was truly a king.

            "I know what it is," someone said, and I turned, confused towards the

voice. My eyes widened as Fairy Bite became visible in the darkness, a

stun gun and lock picking devices in hand. "It's me."

***************************************

            Quietly we snuck in, releasing the locks on the cages with the help of

Fairy Bite's equipment...maybe it was a good thing she had snuck along,

after all! I grinned at her in the darkness and whispered, "So, looks like

you've found some self-esteem after all!"

            "Yeah, and *without* Barney," she chuckled, referring to my help in

trying to cheer her up one day. I laughed and opened the door to a

wiseman's cage, getting out of the hat's way. Pretty soon all the

creatures were free, and they were not happy with their captors.

********************************

            Eisner continued his speech, cheesing for the camera, as usual. "So, as

you can see, this will be one of our newer additions to Animal

Kingdom...now, then, why don't you join me for a tour of our camp?"

            "YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! WHAT KINDA TOUR YOU GONNA GIVE WITH A HEEEAAADDDD LIKE THAT!!!"

            Eisner screamed in terror as a team of fireys ripped their way through

the tent that he was in and began trashing all his equipment. They were

followed by goblins, dragons, brownies, gnomes, and much much more.

Hunters ran as quickly as they could to escape makeovers, having their

limbs torn off, and getting chickens stuffed down their pants.

            "GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!!!" Eisner shrieked as a firey landed on his

shoulders.

            "Hey, I can take off one of your ears! You don't need two ears...they're

too big, anyway!" it laughed, taking off it's head and shoving it in the

executive's face. Not only that, but it was wrinkling his brand new suit,

too! It plunked its head back on and its eyes lit up upon making a new

discovery. "Hey, I can see myself in your head!!" it laughed with delight,

waving and making faces into Eisner's bald spot.

            "Get off!!" he yelled, grabbing it's leg, which came off in his hand.

Eisner about fainted, but managed to knock it off. He turned around slowly

as he felt a presence behind him...there stood a gigantic Ludo

creature...far bigger than anything in the movie. Blast Hammond and all

his mutations!!

            The creature blinked twice, furrowed its brow, then spoke. "YOU NOT

FWIEND!!!" it roared before giving chase. Michael turned to run, but was

knocked backwards by a brownie that was as tall as he was...what was in

the water in this place!!? Just what kind of mutations did this

place accidentally make?

            "YOU'RE MOTHER IS A FRRRAAAAGGGINNN ARDVARK!!!" it bellowed in a

baritone voice as it produced a gigantic tube of lipstick.

            "AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!"

***************************

            Jareth frowned as he and Ash returned to the camp. "Something's not right

here," he muttered.

            "Gee, what tipped you off?" she asked, feigning innocence as a group of

goblins overturned a jeep. "You have a plan?"

            "Of course I do! I'm the goblin king!!!" he cleared his throat then

yelled with all the dignity he could muster, "EVERYBODY OUT OR I'LL DIP

YOU ALL HEAD-FIRST INTO THE BOG OF ETERNAL STENCH BEFORE YOU CAN BLINK!!!"

Well, it was safe to say that no one really cared about the king, but all

of the animals were smart enough not to mess with anyone

that even *mentioned* the Bog! Suddenly, all the creatures cleared out and

the camp was silent.

             "That is the last time I leave you in charge...ever!!" Jareth hissed at

a jeep. Ash frowned at this, wondering when Jareth had become so hateful

to vehicles, when she spied a lipstick-covered, trembling Michael Eisner

underneath the automobile. Shrugging, she turned to regard the now-empty

cages.

            "Oh, no....they're loose!" she whispered upon noticing a few human-sized

cages. "Oh, well...at least I only have to deal with one goblin king!" she

sighed, completely relieved that *those* additions had hurried into the

woods as soon as they were freed.

            "How did they get lose?!" Eisner asked, and she turned to see Jareth

regarding him coldly. His gaze shifted to a small lock pick and he picked

it up and frowned.

            "Isn't it obvious? Well, I suppose it wouldn't be to someone like

you...we're not alone on this island," he snarled, casting the metal

object into a fire.

            "Well, duh!* she thought, rolling her eyes at the whole situation. Now,

if she could just get off the island alive without meeting up with any

other goblin kings, everything would be hunky dory.

**************************************************

Ch. 6

            Lisa hurried to leave the camp with the others...but something was

bugging her. She kept hearing this mournful...chirping. Her ears

perking up, she strayed a little ways from where the chaos was going

on and her eyes widened as she saw the small pouch staked to the

ground.

            "Oh boyohboyohboyohboyohBOY!!!!" Another one to add to her collection.

But something was wrong...it wasn't moving like it was supposed to! It

was injured!

            She had to do something, for the love of humanity and kindness, and

all things smutty, she had to save it! Besides, one might never know

the potential reward in these situations...

            Quickly she undid the ropes that held it captive and headed towards a

jeep, grinning all the while.

*****************************

            Moonlight Mitz sighed as she worked to set up the high hide; they

might just be needing it. Suddenly this little trip didn't sound like

that much fun and now all that college money wouldn't be of any use if

she didn't make it home to use it. She whirled around, her reverie

broken, as a jeep flew by her, a strange sound in the air.

            "CCCCCHHHHHHHHIIIIRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!"

            "What in the Underground was that?!" she whispered, then continued

fiddling with the equipment, hoping that her suspicions weren't

correct.

*******************************************

            I leaned back against the wall and sighed...at least that crisis was

taken care of. I didn't want to even think about what I thought I had

seen in a few of the cages. My brain just wasn't ready to deal with

that possibility. I smiled slightly as Jareth began to rub my

shoulders, murmuring how everything was going to be all right.

            "We'll get through this, don't you worry...besides, this time I have

my magic." I nodded and watched as Fairy Bite read through the

instructions manual for the phone. We all turned as the trailer door

was flung open and Lisa hurried in.

            "MEDIC!!! WE NEED A DOCTOR!! HURRY, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! GET ME AN

IV AND SOME VIAGRA, STAT!!!" My mouth dropped open as I saw what was

cradled in her arms, chirping mournfully.

            It was a pouch, not much bigger than the regular ones that we had seen

the last time, but big enough.

            "Jareth, Jareth, don't lecture me!" she said immediately and I had to

fight a grin.

            "ARE YOU INSANE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!" he shouted, astonished

that she had even brought the thing in.

            "Yes, as a matter of fact, I sure do!!!" she laughed, her eyes

sparkling. "Come on, it's wounded...it's, uh, trunk is sprained!" I

closed my eyes momentarily and tried to compose myself. Nope, it wasn't

going to happen! Everyone looked at me as I began to have a laughing

fit.

            "Oh, boy...Selah, please don't go insane!" Mil said as she and Essy

came over from the front of the trailer.

            "No, it's not that, it's just kind of funny...all right, let's see

what we can do here," I sighed, standing and finding a pair of rubber

medical gloves.

            "What are you doing?" Jareth asked, incredulous, as I instructed Lisa

to put it on a table. She obeyed and immediately gave it some morphine

to sedate it; it was getting just a little too excited for my tastes

and I wasn't gonna touch that thing unless it was knocked out.

            "Will you stop it? Don't be getting jealous, now...I'm just trying to

do it a favor...if we don't do something it'll die...some predator will

pick it off from the herd...like Lisa, here," I added, grinning evilly.

"I won't let anything happen...that's what she's here for," I said,

nodding at the smut queen.

            "Hey, if it needs some TLC, I'm the one for the job!!" she agreed

immediately.

            "I'm going," Jareth said, heading out the door. "Anyone else coming?"

            "Uh...I'm outta here!" Fairy Bite yelped as Lisa started to remove the

thing from its pouch.

            "Why, embarrassed?" Lisa asked, grinning as she held it aloft like

some sort of trophy.

            "NO!!" Fairy replied a little too quickly; her furious blush gave her

away. "I'm just afraid something'll here it's chirping!" she added,

running out the door.

            "In that case, I'm going, too!" ESCAP said, heading out door. 

            "Oh, come on, Essy! Don't you wanna help?" I asked, grinning evilly.

            "You're trying to get me back for that story, aren't you?"

            "Oh yeah!" I said, laughing as she ran out the door.

            "Millennia, you'd better stay in case we need help, or I have to hold

down Lisa!" I joked, slipping a muzzle over the thing's...er, head.

            "You know...I don't think I need you two here...I'm probably the most

experienced and I think I can handle this guy-" I didn't even wait for

Lisa to finish that; I didn't want to know what she had in mind.

            "I may not have had the true pleasure, dear, but I've taken the

biology courses and frankly, I don't trust you not to take advantage of

the thing while it's sedated," I teased, laughing at her pout.

            "Aw, man!"

            I frowned as Mil ran scanners over it, glancing over the ultrasound

image. "There...that's where it's wounded. We can rig a cast out of

tinfoil and secure it with chewing gum...that way, once it heals it'll

break off when it...it..." somehow, I just couldn't bring myself to say

the words.

            "As it grows?" Lisa provided, grinning like a maniac.

            "Yeah, that's it," I said, nodding as we began to fashion the cast. 

**************************************

            Jareth grimaced as the high hide rose to tree level. He trusted his

listians, but he did NOT trust some strange pouch! He sighed, trying to

take his mind off what could be going on in there and turned to Fairy

Bite.

            "Well, we're here and this is probably the safest place we can be."

            "Yeah, right! I remember Ziggy's story! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!"

            "Shhh! You don't want to attract any attention!" he hissed, clamping a

hand over her mouth. He released her after she quieted down and turned

to Moonlight Mitz.

            "Are we having fun yet?" he asked, trying to smile.

            "Oh, tons...do I even want to know what they're doing in there?" she

asked.

            "They're nursing a pouch back to health!" Fairy exclaimed.

            "Yeah, I was right, I really didn't need to know that!" the other girl

sighed before focusing her gaze on the treetops.

************************************

Ch. 7

            Jareth fought a sigh as he gazed out into the night. The whole idea

was simply ridiculous! He could understand a firey or maybe even a

goblin, but a..a...pouch! Slowly he let his mind drift from that to

admiring the scenery...they were getting a lot of good research for

Hammond, and that's what mattered. For instance, who knew that these

creatures could survive in the wild, or that tree species native to the

Underground could grow that tall? The goblin king frowned slightly as

he noticed some of those trees moving slightly. Looking at Fairy Bite,

he was able to see her eyes widening, even in the darkness.

            "Wh-what's that in the distance?" she whispered, pointing at the

trees.

            "Probably just the wind...a storm's headed this way," Mitz said,

trying to soothe her, but she was obviously nervous, as well. Sure

enough, thunder rumbled and lightning struck as heavy raindrops slowly

began to fall.

            "Then what's that sound?" Essy said, shuddering. Jareth concentrated

hard for a few moments, until his ears picked up a faint rumbling that

wasn't thunder. It was almost as if....

            His eyes widened in recognition and he grabbed the phone in the hide,

and dialed the trailer. No one picked up.

            "Blast it! They're not answering!!! Is there any way to get down?" he

asked, turning to Moonlight Mitz.

            "Yeah, here, use this belt and rope...squeeze hard and you'll go down

easily, don't squeeze and you'll -"

            "Got it, thanks. You three stay here! I'll be right back!" he said,

trying to sound casual as he strapped on the belt and climbed outside

the hide's railing. Stepping off the edge, the goblin king skidded down

to the ground at lightning speed and the three girls in the hide

frowned as a vague thump reached their ears. Mitz just shrugged and

rolled her eyes.

            "I tried to tell him!" she said, smiling slightly as she watched the

grumbling king pick foliage out of his hair before running like mad to

the trailer.

********************************

            I gave a satisfied smile as Lisa applied the gum and secured the cast.

Things had gone quite well and the smut queen had actually behaved

herself.

            "Give it some antibiotics before we set it free," I instructed

Millennia, who nodded before grabbing the syringe. The door burst open

and we all turned to see a very wet and not very happy goblin king.

            "Would it really kill you to pick up the phone?!" he asked, pointing

to where the phone was ringing. Honestly, I had been so wrapped up in

the work that had to be done, I hadn't noticed.

            "Will you take it easy? We're just about ready to turn it loose!" I

sighed, removing the gloves and crossing over to the goblin king. Lisa

dumped the thing back into its pouch and headed towards the door, a

regretful cast to her eyes.

            "I think you have other things to be thinking about at the moment,

love," he answered, almost out of breath. I seached his face

momentarily and realized that something was very wrong.

            "What's that?" I asked quietly, not knowing if I really wanted to hear

the answer. Before Jareth could respond, the quiet was broken by one of

our jeeps being rolled across the campground and a loud chorus of angry

hissing.

            "The herd is very angry," he said quietly, visibly paling.

            Millennia immediately turned out the lights and we stood there in the

darkness, not daring to move. I could hear everyone else's frightened

panting, though, but that did little to calm my nerves. I clenched my

eyes shut at the sound of impatient tapping on the roof...the entire

herd had us surrounded. Lightning struck, and from where I was standing

I could see an army of pouches from the window. They rose up slightly

upon noticing us and pushed at the trailer, rocking it slightly.

            "There's some over here, too!" Mil whispered, looking out the window

on the other side.

            "Man, those things are huge-" Lisa said in awe, and indeed, they had

to be mutations. "And they aren't even the one the egotistical Jareth

is after!" she said, ecstatic as she licked her lips.

            "Down girl...this isn't exactly the time," I whispered, swallowing

hard even though my mouth was dry.

            "I don't get it...the herd is here, and so should the pack leader, but

it's not," Jareth remarked.

            "Is it that king-sized pouch?" Lisa immediately asked.

            "It could be, but there's also another possibility-" He broke off as

the trailer began to rock back and forth and the pouches began to

pierce the glass. "Wait a minute...this isn't hunting behavior-"

            "WHY NOT???!" I instinctively clamped a hand over Lisa's mouth.

            "They're searching for something," the king finished.

            "HEY, WE'RE IN HERE!!!" Lisa yelled, slipping out of my grip to jump

round the trailer, arms waving. Although the pouches were intrigued by

this, they had other things to think about at the moment.

            "Not you! The other pouch!" Mil sighed, and I could almost make out

her eyes rolling in the darkness.

            "Oh, sorry!" she laughed and picked up the package. "I'll give it to

them-"

            "And come right back inside!" I added.

            "You know, you manage to take all the fun out of these trips!" she

pouted before slowly opening the door. The rain poured down and the

pouches moved towards the movement. Slowly Lisa reached in and removed

the muzzle...

            "CCCCCCHHHHIIIIRRRRRPPPP!!!!!" Man, that thing had good volume! In

reply, the other members of the herd let out long, drawn-out chirps of

recognition that faintly resembled a pack of howling wolves. Grinning

slightly, she put the pouch on the ground and allowed Jareth to yank

her back in.

            "We did it!!" she laughed, leaning against the wall.

            "And they're going away!!!" I said, laughing with her as we watched

the herd move into the night.

            "AW, MAN!!!"

*****************************

            Mitz, Essy, and Fairy Bite watched as Lisa climbed into the high hide.

"Everything's fine!"

            "Then what are you doing up here?" Fairy asked her.

            "Cause I wanted to get a better view of the herd! Man, did you see

those things? Now that's what I call some good specimens!" she laughed,

straining to see. "Uh-oh..."

            "What is it?" Essy asked.

            "They're coming back..."

*******************************************

            Millennia, Jareth, and I stood there in the darkness, composing

ourselves, or trying to. Lisa's escape to watch the pouches was just

too funny. I paused from laughing to wipe tears out of my eyes, but

movement through the window quickly sobered me.

            "Oh, man..."

            "What is it?" Mil asked.

            "Hang on, this is gonna be bad-"

            WHUMP!!!

            The trailer was pushed harshly to the right and we went flying. I

winced as my back hit the wall; luckily it was a relatively vacant

wall. As I slid to the floor I heard moaning and tried to crawl to the

other two.

            "You all right?"

            "Yeah, I-" Mil paused as the trailer began to slide forward...towards

the cliff that was nearby.

            "HANG ONTO SOMETHING!!!" Jareth bellowed. Suddenly, the entire trailer

lurched forward and all three of us went plumeting downward. Mil

quickly grabbed onto a counter and Jareth grabbed a chair that was

bolted down. My hands reached out and thankfully grabbed the oven...I

realized I had completely fallen through the research trailer and was

now in the one with all living supplies. *The other trailer must be

still partially on the ground* I thought, glad something was there to

hold us for a few moments.

            I screamed as the oven door suddenly opened, causing my grip to slip.

My stomach seemed to fall out of my body as I flew down, down....

            The impact of the glass of the window at what would've been the back

of the trailer broke my fall and knocked all the wind out of me. I

must've blacked out momentarily because the next thing I knew Mil and

Jareth were frantically screaming my name.

            "Wha-oh, boy.." I moaned, resisting the urge to shake my head. My face

was smushed to the side, but even so I had a fantastic view of the path

down into an angry current that splashed against sharp rocks. Slowly,

slowly, I tried to raise up, but all I succeeded in doing was cracking

the thin glass even more. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I listened

to the splintering of glass as my hand tried to make its way along the

surface to the edge. My breathes increased and soon adrenaline was

taking full effect...I never had been too good about staring death in

the face, so needless to say I was just a little bit reluctant to watch

the path I would plummet down any minute...

            "Oh manohmanohmanohmanohman...I whispered, then started praying for

all it was worth, not wanting to watch, but unable to close my eyes.

            "Selah...Selah, darling, listen to me! I'm going to climb down there

and get you...hang on..." Jareth was saying, but I was too concerned

with watching the waves smashing against the jagged shorline down

below. I tried again to ease my hand over to a ledge I could grab, but

any part of me that even remotely pressed down caused it to splinter

even more.

            "Grab the satellite phone!" he said to Mil, and by her quick reply I

could tell that the situation was not looking good...

            "Selah..." I turned my head as much as I good towards the voice that

was right above me. "Grab my hand, love...come on, you can do it!"

Jareth urged me. Slowly, carefully I stretched out my arm, trying to

ignore the crackling sounds beneath me. His eyes fell on his pack

before returning to me.

            "LOOK OUT BELOW!!!!" Millennia screeched and I whimpered at the sound

of the falling phone. Jareth's hand reached into the pack as fast as

lightning, but suddenly the glass underneath me gave way in an

explosion of shatters and shimmering pieces. Something was dropped in

front of me as I fell, and I reached out instinctively and grabbed the

makeshift rope. I frowned at the pair of grey tights I was now clinging

to for dear life.

            "Always pack a spare...and it's a good thing, too," Jareth said,

smiling slightly as he pulled me up onto the back of the chair beside

him. Instantly I clung to him, bawling my eyes out and he held me until

I felt I could breathe again.

****************************************

            "Oh my god..." Mitz whispered as she lowered the binoculars from her

face. "They're hanging off the cliff!"

            "Hey, where's Lisa?" Fairy Bite asked, suddenly realizing that the

fourth girl was gone.

            "You guys stay here! I'll get em out!!!" she bellowed, repelling down

from the high hide.

********************************************************

            My senses perked up at the sound of a car horn. Footsteps smacked

through the mud and soon I could hear Lisa's amazed murmurs at all the

damage that had been done.

            "Can you get a rope?" Jareth called up.

            "Give me a minute!!" she called back. A few minutes later she

returned. "Uh..we don't have any rope."

            "HOW CAN WE HAVE NOT PACKED ROPE!!!!?" Mil yelled up at her.

            "I don't know...there's got to be something, though!" Lisa replied.

            "Here, use this!!!" I yelled, throwing one leg of J's extra pair of

tights up to Mil, who gave it to Lisa.

            "J...are you pantsless down there?! GO, SELAH!!!!" I rolled my eyes at

her remarks.

            "Very funny, now tie it to something, quick, and make sure it

stays!!!" I bellowed, remembering the incidents in the movie. I did not

want to fall half a million times before finally making it to the top.

I didn't love the idea of climbing more than I had to.

            "Right, just hang onto it!!"

            "Don't worry, I think I'll manage to!"

********************************************

            Lisa quickly took the tight leg and ran over to a tree stump, expertly

tying it around the thing with more knots than even a boy scout

convention could boast.

            "Lisa, we're sliding!!!"

            "The trailer's sliding...HURRY!!!" Turning, she gasped as the trailer

that was still on the cliff started to skid through the mud, closer to

the edge.

            She quickly ran to the jeep and unhooked the cable at its front before

barrelling up to the end of the trailor and landing just a few inches

short.

            "Blast it!!" she muttered, picking herself off of the wet ground.

Backing up, she ran for it again and made it. Quickly she wound the

cable around the bumper and secured it with the hook before racing back

to the jeep and plunking herself in the driver's seat. This would be

easy, it was all downhill from here, it was all a piece of...

            Uh-oh.

            A stick shift. It had to be a stick shift...how come every stupid

moron in the movies that had to save someone knew how to drive a stick

shift and she didn't!!!? Cursing under her breath, she knew she didn't

have time to go back and get a crystal from Jareth. Surely there could

be something else she could do....

            "Of course!" she laughed before screaming, "I WISH THE GOBLINS WOULD

COME AND DRIVE THIS BABY TO SAFETY, RIGHT NOW!!!!" Instantly a small,

stocky goblin appeared at her side.

            "Outta my way!" he muttered, pushing her into the passenger's seat.

"uh...I can't reach the pedals!"

            "Oh for crying out loud! You do the stick, I'll move the pedals," Lisa

sighed, crawling down underneath the goblin.

            "Okay, but don't go too fa-AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"

            She grinned at his reaction as she pushed the accelerator down all the

way.

The jeep flew backwards, pulling the back wheels of the second trailer

slowly back onto land.

            "It's no good...there's not enough power!!" she muttered.

Unfortunately, the goblin heard her.

            "Uh, okay, then! Sorry it didn't work out! Buh-bye!!" it laughed

before disappearing. She gasped as the trailer suddenly pulled forward

towards the edge. Moving to exit, she about had a fit when she realized

her foot was stuck under the seat.

            "Great, just great!!!" she screamed, starting to panic. Clawing at the

ground did no good, and neither did honking the horn. "WILL SOMEONE

PLEASE GIVE ME A HAND HERE?!!!!" she yelled in desperation. She never

expected anyone to answer.

            "HEY!!" Two strong hands pulled her free and rolled her out of harm's

way. Lisa watched in quiet horror as the vehicle flew off the edge and

a loud explosion sounded.

            "Oh, no...oh, no...AW, DAMN!!!!!!!"

            "Calm down...they're fine. They're hanging onto the rope, remember?

And they have a goblin king with them...he can use his magic to get

them up to the top. But you don't realize how much danger you're

in...there's a large number of something coming, and I don't know if

you want to stick around to find out what, exactly, it is." The girl

slowly looked over at a pair of boots and raised her gaze to focus on

the goblin king that was in them. The first thing she thought of was

nearly being sliced and diced by an insane Jareth out to get revenge in

the kitchen of the Labyrinthian Park Visitors Center.

            "AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU

PSYCHO!!! YOU'RE NOT TOUCHING ME!!! NO WAY AM I GETTING KILLED!!! JUST

KEEP AWAY FROM ME-?" She immediately shut up as the king pressed his

lips to hers in a brief, heated kiss.

            "I'm not going to hurt you...on the contrary, I'm going to help you,"

he said, raising her to her feet. "Besides, I owe you for saving the

life of one of my minions," he added, smiling slightly as his gaze

drifted lower and her eyes widened in realization.

            "You-YOU'RE the leader of the pouch herd?!" she asked, her eyes

lighting up. He nodded, grinning.

            "That's right....they're loyal things, but they do need someone to

look out for them...I guess you could say I'm the protector of the

pouches," he added. "And I never let a good deed go unrewarded," he

purred, pulling Lisa closer.

            "Sa-ay...which version are you, then? Are you evil, or in love with

Sarah, or what?"

            He rolled his eyes at that. "Surely you jest! There are more than just

four versions, love! Those four were just the first wave at the park.

There are a few others besides myself that never made it to the park.

Hammond decided that some just weren't suitable for a family park.

Can't you guess which one I am?" he asked, smirking slightly. It was

then that Lisa realized that the king was dressed all in tight-fitting

black leather and had a pair of handcuffs dangling from his belt. Lisa

tried desperately to contain her excitement, but she couldn't resist

letting loose a small cry of jubilant celebration. Jareth seemed to

understand and took her hand.

            "There's time for that later; we've got to go...whatever it is is

coming closer...come on, I'll get you to someplace safe that I think

you're gonna like," he said, his eyes sparkling. Lisa nodded

enthusiastically before plunging ahead into the undergrowth.

*********************************

            We all screamed as the trailers fell down around us and swung to the

side to dodge the jeep.

            "Now what?!" I hollared.

            "Now this!" Jareth said, letting one hand go of the rope and conjuring

a crystal. Suddenly, in a blast of light and magic, we appeared on top

of the cliff.

            "LAND!!!" Millennia and I cried, falling flat on the wet ground.

            "Hey, where's Lisa?" I asked, getting to my knees quickly. "You don't

think she-"

            "Oh, man..." Mil whispered and we looked to Jareth, who's eyes had

clouded over.

            "I don't know...I couldn't see as the jeep tumbled by..."

            There was a long pause and finally I sighed. "Well...I guess we really

should get going...there isn't much else for us to do."

            "That's right, there isn't. So you will now be joining our little

party." We turned at the voice and glared at Michael Eisner who was

pushing an angry Mitz, Essy, and Fairy Bite over to us.

            "Will you cut that out!? I told you I'm in charge, and no listian of

mine is going to be pushed around by anyone except me!!!!" The

enlarged-ego Jareth snapped, pushing his way to the front, along with a

girl I recognized.

            "Ash!!" I cried, running up to her. "What are you doing here?"

            "Long story..I'll tell you later, but let's just say I'm now Jareth's

research assistant," she sighed, and I could tell she wasn't very

happy.

            "Well, do we have any idea what to do now? There's no way to signal

anyone...our camp is destroyed and I presume all your equipment fell

over the cliff?" the egotistical Jareth asked, raising an eyebrow. We

nodded silently.

            "There is a control station in the center of the island," Eisner said,

pulling out a map. "It's run on leftover crystal magic so we should be

able to send a signal."

            "Right then, let's go!" Jareth replied, leading the hunters and our

group into the forest.

            Mitz, Millennia, ESCAP, the Jareth that was with my group, Ash, Fairy

Bite, and I could only look at each other and glance over at the cliff

before following in silence.

*********************************************

Ch. 8

            "All right, take fifteen minutes for a break and then we'll continue

on!" the guy with the big hair and bad attitude was saying. Bob

sighed...why did he even get involved in this crazy mission? He

supposed the answer was simple: money. Still, he hated all these

beasties...he was glad he had shocked that little brownie-thing

earlier. All these things were just nuts! Sighing, he turned to the

hunter next to him.

            "Hey, Beakman! I'm going to do my business...wait for me, all right?"

he said before taking off into the undergrowth. If only he would've

taken a closer look and seen that Beakman was listening to a very good

Bowie song on his walkman, things might have turned out differently.

            Grumbling, Bob walked down a short hill and turned around before

obeying the urge that said he couldn't hold it anymore. He was nervous

as hell, yeah, but when ya gotta go, ya gotta go!

            "WHERE YA GOING WITH A HEEEAAAD LIKE THAT!!?" Bob gasped in surprise

and irritation, automatically zipping himself back up before realizing

that the firey was talking about the head on his shoulders. Gulping, he

turned to face the thing which regarded him silently, almost as if it

was studying him. Tilting its head, it flashed him a manic grin.

            "It's not polite to sneak up on people!!!" the hunter shouted,

grabbing his electric prod and bopping the thing over the head with it.

            "HEY, THAT'S MY HEAD!!!" it screeched before hiding in the bush it was

next to.

            "Heh, serves ya right, ya mangy thing!" he hissed before trying to

find his way back. Which way was it that he was supposed to take?

Turning round, he cursed upon realizing that without a doubt, the

mighty hunter Bob was totally lost.

            "Hey Beakman! Beakman...I can't find my way back! Call out and let me

know where ya are, okay?!" No answer. Bob began to get a very bad

feeling, and for a good reason. As he turned around again he came face

to face with seven fireys sitting peacefully on a log, all studying

him.

            "AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!" he roared, rushing at them. Not

used to such violence from their playmates, the fireys scattered back

to their hiding places.

            The hunter turned and walked a few feet and promptly fell into a deep

pit. "What the...don't tell me, an oubliette!" he bit out, remembering

that piece of information from the training he was given before being

allowed to come along. Picking up a board, he walked through the

oubliette's wall and out of a series of caverns, back into daylight,

but in a totally different place. He paled when he realized he had lost

his prod during the fall.

            A twig snapped and he turned, but not quickly enough. The fireys swung

down from tree branches and landed on his back, laughing hysterically.

            "YOU'RE IT!!!" one shouted before yanking on his head. The others

followed suit with his other limbs.

            "STOP IT!!!!!" Bob screamed in terror as he threw the creatures off.

"AAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" As soon as their parts were

scattered around, he got up and ran for dear life. They followed

closely, though, and had excellent speed. Panting, Bob headed towards

what looked like a body of water.

            "HEY MISTER, DON'T YOU WANT US TO TAKE OFF YOUR HEAD?!" Bob screamed

in horror as the firey jumped at him, blocking his path. He quickly

kicked it out of his way and jumped onto a stone...

            He turned and glanced over his shoulder, grinning triumphantly. The

things weren't daring to follow him...he had scared them really well!

Without hesitation, he jumped right into the body of water. The group

of fireys shook their heads silently as the splash and Bob's surprised

shouts echoed through the woods.

            "Well, guys, I guess he got away!" one firey sighed as the pack walked

away from the intruder.

            "Yeah, no way am I chasing him into the Bog!! P.U!!!!" laughed

another, causing all the rest of them to laugh at the man's frantic

shouts and splashes as they returned to the underbrush.

*************************************************

            "When did you see him last?" the egotistical Jareth asked Beakman.

            "Bout ten minutes ago," Beakman answered, shrugging at the king's

glare directed towards his Bowie tape.

            "All right...you, and you," Jareth replied, pointing at two hunters.

"Come with me. If he's alive we'll find him. The rest of you go on

ahead...you should find a ridge soon; go ahead and wait for us there."

He purposely strode into the woods with the other two, leaving Eisner

with the entire group.

            "Okay, everybody! Let's get going! Come on, it'll be fun! We can even

sing the dwarves' song or something!" Eisner looked around as everyone

continued what they were doing, paying him no attention whatsoever.

            "Come on, "Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, to the control station we go....'

uh...'It's a small world after all-'" he stopped singing immediately as

he noticed the hard looks he was getting, as well as all the stun guns

that were now aimed his way.

            The Jareth that was with the group Hammond had sent stood up and

dusted himself off. "All right, then, let's be off!" Mumbling, everyone

instantly obeyed. Eisner looked at them in shock...they would

definitely never be Disney-standard workers!

***********************************************

            The camp set up on the ridge reflected its makers exhaution. All were

sound asleep and only the night sounds of crickets and the occassional

breeze interrupted the silence. Two figures waited in the night,

impatiently wondering when the guide would come back. The first was

casual about it, taking in the cool night air and his surroundings,

appreciating the island's beauty. The second, though, was deep in

irritated thought, making plans for how he would add the island

residents to his theme park.

            A rustle of leaves snapped them both to attention, and they sighed

with relief as the egotistical Jareth and the two hunters walked

towards them.

            "Well, did you find him?" Eisner asked, nervously running a hand along

the back of his neck.

            The guide paused to take a sip of water from his cantine; he had just

spent two hours searching for a stupid hunter who didn't pay attention

and he wasn't about to hurry to answer a stupid executive that didn't

pay attention.

            "We found him..." he murmured quietly, wrinkling his nose at the

memory.

            "Well, where *is* he?" Eisner asked quickly.

            "The Bog?" the other Jareth asked, raising his eyebrows. The

egotistical Jareth nodded.

            "He's now a permanent addition of the island, I'm afraid...there's no

way we can take him with us, smelling like that. He'd alert everyone of

our location, and surprisingly the predators don't get put off by a

little thing like a bad smell. Besides, he'd never get past customs

like that; the officials would faint deadaway and when they came to

they'd lock him up. So from now on, he's now Bob the Bogman." Jareth

sat down on a fallen tree and stretched his legs momentarily, gazing at

the two. Rolling his eyes at Eisner who was busy calculating how much

money he had just saved now that he didn't have to pay an extra person,

he turned to the other Jareth.

            "We'll let them sleep one more hour then head for the control

station...it's only another mile, mile and a half away. I saw it when

we were out tracking Bob," he said softly, absently running his hand

along the barrel of his stungun. He hoped everyone would make

it...otherwise he would be too busy saving everyone to go get his fee.

********************************************

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Date:Tue, 6 Jul 1999 08:10:14 -0700 (PDT)From:Selah Specht

  | Block addressSubject:[labyfic] The Lost

Underground ch. 9/?To:labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com,

calliope_13@hotmail.comReply-to:Selah Specht

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Ch. 9

            Millennia, Moonlight Mitz, ESCAP, Ash, Fairy Bite, and I lay sound

asleep in a tent the hunters had set up for us. Even though we were all

feeling terrible about what had happened to Lisa, we were too exhausted

to stay up worrying for too long. It had been an exhausting day and we

needed our energy if we were going to freak out and run from weird

creatures the next day.

            Sighing contentedly, or as contentedly as I could in a situation like

that, I rolled over onto my stomach and continued snoozing. I frowned

slightly as the tent flap rustled...probably just the wind. As a few of

the blankets were moved around, I put it out of my head as one of the

other girls rolling over. When a warm something started feeling up my

leg, though, I *knew* it couldn't be the wind or one of the others!

Immediately I opened my eyes and turned my head slightly. I couldn't

see much in the darkness, but its outline looked very much like...

            "Oh mannnn...." I whimpered, clenching my eyes shut as it made its way

higher. I didn't want to encourage it, but I knew not to make any

sudden moves, either. I glanced over at Millennia as the thing started

nudging her feet.

            "What...What *is* that thing?!" she whispered.

            "Guess."

            "Ohhhhhhhh....." she moaned, biting her lip as it tried to move

underneath the blankets.

            "Shhh...just keep quiet," I whispered to Mitz and Essy as they

groggily began to wake up and realize what was going on. Unfortunately,

the next person it moved to was Fairy Bite. Whether it just didn't see

her or what, I'm not sure, but it shoved itself under the covers right

next to her and immediately began to cuddle.

            "Wha-AAAUUUUUU-MMMPH!!" her scream was cut off as Mitzy clamped a hand

over her mouth and hissed at her to keep quiet.

            "But...but it's huge!!" she whispered in terror as the king-sized

pouch began to move closer.

            "I know, I know....too bad Lisa's not here to distract it," Mitz

replied, smiling slightly.

            "Just keep still and maybe it'll go away..." Essy said.

*****************************

            One of the hunters rolled over on the ground outside...he just

couldn't get to sleep. Blinking groggily, he raised up at movement

coming from the tent. He quickly trained his flashlight beam on it and

something very large raised up in irritation. Quickly recognizing it,

he did the only thing he could do.

            "AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! VAMANOS!!!!

VAMANOS!!!!!" Everyone else joined in his screaming and took off

running at the sight of the gigantic pouch.

*****************************************

            The Jareth with Hammond's group looked up at the screaming and about

had a heart attack. It was in the camp and it was in the girls' tent!!!

            "CCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!" the thing's

voice sounded like Pavorati, low and rumbling. At last check Hammond

had said it was as big as a large shoebox, but obviously it had grown.

There was no way the other Jareth would have any practical use for it

now...it was as big as a tall child.

            "Shut up!!" he intructed. "Don't scream, don't run!! Get down and

don't move!!!" It was rational, logical advice, so obviously no one

listened. He watched on in horror as it reared up, tearing the tent

from the ground. The listians immediately ran for it, barely escaping

its clutches. There wasn't time to think about that, though, for

suddenly many more problems invaded the camp.

            "WEEEE'REEEE BAAAAAACK!!!!!" a firey announced as a bunch of its

friends started to mingle with the hunters, causing them to run even

more.

            Eisner jumped out of his sleeping bag, yelping. He grabbed it, turned

it upside-down, and shook it hard, causing a fairy to tumble onto the

ground. Except this fairy must have been a mutant because all her teeth

were canines.

            Many more fairies filled the air and everyone began shouting in pain,

swatting at the air as they struggled to get into the woods. Goblins

suddenly appeared, though, and they looked like they were on steroids.

Gleefully they began stuffing chickens in sleeping bags and wreaking

general havoc.

            In short, it was not the best of reunions.

***********************************

            The egotistical Jareth immediately awakened upon hearing the screams

and the chirping. At last! Quickly, he grabbed his stun gun and took

two tranquilizer darts from his things. After loading one into the gun

and sticking the other between his teeth, he jumped up and silently

followed the chirping and the pouch tracks.

            The hunt was on.

******************************************

            We ran, not knowing where to go. In one direction were the fireys, in

another goblins, and fairies filled the air.

            "Now what?!" I yelled.

            "I don't know!!!" Ash replied. "They're just defending their

territory, but still-"

            "It's really annoying!!!" Fairy finished.

            "Any ideas?" Essy asked, swatting at a fairy that had bit her ear.

            "OW!!!" Fairy Bite shrieked as the pixie got her hand. "That's

cannibalism, I think!"

            "So, would we rather be eaten, ripped apart, or chickened?" Millennia

asked.

            "Chickened?" Mitz said, raising an eyebrow.

            "Well, what would you call it..DUCK!!!" We hit the ground as a fowl

flew through the air over our heads like a cannon ball.

            "Over here!! Quick!" an accented voice called and we immediately ran

to Jareth's side. "This way!!" he yelled, pushing through the trees and

onto a forest path. We followed, as did some of the hunters, and a

group of fireys.

            "HEY LADIES, WAIT FOR US!!!!!!"

            We screamed and pushed on, put there were too many trees!!

            "Now what?!" I asked, trying to keep still.

            "You're going the wrong way!!" a deep voice called. I yelped and

jumped away from the rock I had been leaning on. Sure enough, it was a

stone face.

            "Go no further, for the path you are on will lead to certain des-"

            "Aw, cool it!" Essy interrupted.

            "Yeah, we don't have time for this!" Mil yelled.

            "Oh, please, I haven't said it-"

            "NO!!!!" we all cut in.

            "Now look, which path'll take us to the research station?!" Jareth

asked, giving him a hard look.

            "Uh...the other one," he said, nodding to our left.

            "How can we be sure?" I asked warily.

            "He's right, over here!" we turned and saw another Jareth motioning

for us to hurry.

            "How can we trust him?!" Fairy Bite asked.

            "You can!" the Jareth with us yelled.

            "But how-"

            "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" screeched the fireys

as they tore through the trees behind us.

            "What choice have you got?!" the Jareth with us screamed, starting

down the other path. We quickly followed, but I paused long enough to

regard the stone face.

            "Did anyone ever tell you that you sound just like Sean Connery?" I

asked before high-tailing it down the other path.

********************************

Ch. 10

            The egotistical Jareth crouched behind the bushes as the pouch stopped

momentarily, sniffing the air. He couldn't wait any longer...he had to

act now!

            Leaving his cover, he stood in front of the enormous thing...there was

no way he could attacht it at that size, but if he had it, at least no

one else would!

            "CCCHHHHHHHIIIIIIRRRRRRRPPPPPP!!!!!" it roared, raising its head

defiantly.

            Quickly, he raised his gun and took aim, sending a dart straight into

the pouch. It gave a roar of irritation and turned towards him angrier

than ever. With trembling hands Jareth quickly put the other dart in

the gun and took aim, just as the thing started to charge towards

him...

******************************

            "In here!" one of the Jareth's cried, pointing to a waterfall with a

narrow space behind it. Immediately, the listians and hunters obeyed,

crowding into the spot.

            "HEY!!! WHAT YA GOTTA GO AND HIDE FOR!!!!?"

            "YEAH, IT WON'T HURT...SOMEBODY GET ME MY SAW!!!!"

            A hand reached through the hole, head in it's palm. "THERE YOU

ARE!!!" it screeched triumphantly. I screamed and grabbed Millennia,

hanging on for dear life. Other fireys crowded in behind it, all

reaching for us through the narrow opening. Ash turned and yelped as a

fairy that had sneaked in bit her and she instinctively backed up

towards the rushing water and the fireys that were in it.

            "ASH!!!!" I yelled, reaching for her, but a Jareth held me back.

            "OWOWOWOWOW!!!!" she replied, more concerned with other things at the

moment. In frustration, she smacked the fairy at the firey in front,

and it was so startled it bit it's nose.

            "OOOOOWWWWW!!!!! YOU BIT MY HEAD!!!!" it yelled, falling backwards in

surprise, knocking the others back into the waterfall and down to the

pool below.

            "Oh hallelujiah!!" I panted in relief. That is, before I heard anxious

movement.

            "THEY'RE COMING BACK!!!!" Mitzy yelled, and we screamed as someone

appeared in the waterfall...

            "JARETH!!!!" I yelled, recognizing the one who I had come to the

island to save. Instantly I ran forward and into his arms. "Wait a

minute..." I said, pulling back to regard him. "If that's you then who

are they?" We all turned to regard the new additions that were

definitely not the egotistical Goblin King.

            "Thanks," Fairy Bite said to the one that was in regular castle

garbed. He shrugged.

            "Gave me something to do...you have no idea how boring it is to stay

here all day and do nothing..." I frowned as he began to tell us how

monotonous his life was. *A Jareth that's incessantly bored?

Oookaaay...* I thought before glancing at the other one and nearly

having a laughing fit. No wonder he wasn't included in the park! He

broke his gaze away from the buff huntsman he was admiring and turned

to regard us.

            "Oh, hello all," he said before returning his admiring gaze to the

hunter who was now trying to leave the waterfall cavern as quickly as

possible. Shrugging, we all turned to follow.

            "Selah!!!" Fairy Bite whispered urgently, pulling on my shirt.

            "Yeah?"

            "He's...He's wearing A DRESS!!!" Well, actually it was more of a

halter top and mini number, but you get the picture. I nodded,

realizing that he was wearing more makeup than usual.

            "I guess that's one of the mutations Hammond tried to correct...no

wonder he didn't make it to the park!" I said, grinning at the

situation. "But they both seem nice so I guess we have nothing to worry

about...hey, if you can stand whining, you're fine!" I said, noticing

her worried frown. "After all, the other won't bother us...we're

girls!"

****************************

            We trekked on through the forest, anxious to get closer to the

research station. I paused upon hearing a familiar voice though...

            "Lisa?" I whispered to myself, stopping dead in my tracks.

            "Selah, come on, we've got to get moving!!!" Mitz yelled to me.

            "I think I hear Lisa!! She could be in trouble! I gotta check!!"

            "Right, you guys break here while she goes to find out. I'll go on to

the control station and send that signal. See ya there!" Mitz yelled

before disappearing into the trees.

            I took off, disregarding the shouts of the Jareth that had come with

us. Quickly, I followed what seemed to be....shrieking? My eyes

widening, I started to run. I skidded to a stop as I almost fell over a

group of pouches in the middle of the path. Backing up slightly, I

noticed that the path led to a clearing which held something that

resembled a large nest...I couldn't tell, though, because it was

surrounded by tall grass and branches that completely blocked my

vision.

            "CHHHIRRRPP!!!!" the pouches in front of me warned, rearing up on

their ends.

            "Hey, outta my way!! My friend might be in trouble!!" I said, trying

to get past, but was immediately forced back.

            "Selah? Selah, is that you!!!?" a female voice shouted before erupting

into giggles.

            "LISA!!! YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!"

            "Yeah, I was pulled from the jeep and led here..." she cut off in a

satisfied moan.

            "Lisa...if you're all right...what's going on? I'm being blocked by

pouches...are you sure you're all right?"

            "Oh, I couldn't be better!" she answered.

            "Well...we're going on toward the research station..."

            "Oh!! Wait a minute, we're coming!"

            "We?" I asked.

            "Yeah, just a sec...hey, you're going to have to unlock the handcuffs

if you want to come back with us!" she said to someone I couldn't see.

            "Handcuffs?" I said to myself, knowing that I really, *really* didn't

want to know what was going on.

            "Hang on, let me get dressed here..." she muttered.

            "Uh, why don't I just wait for you on the path-"

            "No, it's okay! I'm presentable now! Just let me get up..hey, come

over here and meet a new friend of mine!"

            "Uh..that's okay...I think I'll just wait for you guys over-" I

started to turn but a pouch that had snuck behind me blocked my way.

Abruptly, it jumped forward and shoved me backwards, hard. I tried to

catch my balance, but fell over the tree branches. Yelping, I tumbled

backwards and landed in the middle of the biggest nest I had ever

seen...and also the plushest, most seductive nest I'd ever seen. I

quickly sat up and raised an eyebrow at the satin sheets and down

pillows that were now flung every which way. I nearly had a laughing

fit when I saw Lisa in the arms of a leather-clad Jareth, a humongus

grin spread over her face. I don't think I've ever seen her that happy

in my entire life.

            "Hey Selah!! This is Jareth, of course, but a version native to the

island."

            "A pleasure", he said smoothly, before returning his adoring gaze back

to Lisa.

            "Well...I'm rejuvinated! Let's get going!!" she laughed before jumping

up and running to the path, dragging Jareth with her. I followed

slowly, shaking my head all the way. Introductions were quickly made

and we started out to the station once again. As we began walking, Lisa

pulled me aside and whispered, "Well, what do you think?"

            "I think you're in seventh-heaven!" I giggled.

            "OH YEAH!!! He's better than any pouch...hey, a Jareth that really is

gay?" she asked upon noticing the goblin king in drag.

            "Yeah, and the other is eternally bored...hey, if there can be a porno

Jareth, then why not them?" I asked, grinning wickedly.

            "Too true, too true," she replied, the contented grin still plastered

across her face.

**************************************

Ch. 11

            Moonlight Mitz hurried across the clearing to the abandoned buildings.

She had to hurry, there wasn't much time...*Come on, feet!!!* she

thought desperately as her breaths came out in pants. Finally, she was

inside. Leaning against a wall, she sighed in relief and slowly turned

around to see what was what.

            "AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"

            She screeched as her eyes fell upon Jareth, crystal ball at the ready,

his eyes smoldering. He didn't move...a few seconds later, he was still

stationary. Now, she wasn't sure, but normally when he was confronted

with a female listian the goblin king tended to move pretty fast.

Assessing all the gathered evidence and reaching out a hand to the

wall, she decided that it was a mural, nothing more. Smiling slightly,

she turned to the power box and slowly pulled the lever up. Bulbs

flashed and a couple burst from the sudden energy, but enough were left

to illuminate the room. Mitz turned to a desk that was half-covered

with vines and began tearing them away to reveal a control panel

underneath. Picking up a clipboard, she read until she found the right

frequency. She quickly adjusted some knobs and the static slowly began

to clear.

            "H-Hello?" she asked carefully.

            "Da sver ga ver da chicky in da basky..." Mitzy frowned and changed

the frequency...*Some sort of Swedish cooking show?* she thought in the

back of her mind.

            "YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! That's right...for the low

price of five hundred bucks you can get yourself a dandy of a ve-hic-le so

come on down to Buckaroo Bill's Wild World of Buicks-"

            "Uh...I don't think so," she laughed slightly, switching the frequency

again.

            "Hi...my name's Bambi and for a really hot time you should call-"

            "Nope!" she immediately replied, hitting the dial again.

            "This is crystal base...is anyone there?" Bingo.

            "This is crystal leader to crystal base...repeat, this is crystal

leader to crystal base," she practically shouted into the mike.

            "We read you crystal leader."

            "The mission is a failure and we have suffered some losses...we need

you to send rescue as soon as possible to these coordinates..."

**************************************

            The main group of hunters quickly ran from the camp and towards the

station, heedless as to where they were heading. Dodging Junk Ladies

trying to sell them old pots and pans and jumping over the occassional

pouch, they suddenly came to a large field of tall grass that looked

perfectly peaceful. Without hesitation, they plunged ahead.

            They walked through, pushing grass aside whenever necessary. None of

them saw the group of grinning heads that were held up by red furry

arms a few yards away, or noticed the rustle of grass as the heads were

lowered and the owners began to draw closer.

            "HEY!!!" Everyone turned as one of the hunters cried out, but there

was nobody there. Gulping, they turned and started again.

            "WHA-!!!?" The hunters turned again, but there was no one there and

they were down another hunter.

            They started up again, walked five feet, then heard the movement.

Stopping, they turned back and just missed the creatures dipping back

into their hiding places. The men turned and the things rose up,

grinning manically, but when the hunters suddenly turned again, they

were no where to be seen. Shrugging, the men took a few steps, stopped,

turned yet again...

            The hunters looked at the fireys that were now standing casually

behind them. The fireys looked at them, grinned, and waved. Only then

did it sink in.

            "AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Everyone took off with the

fireys close behind, averaging one man getting jumped per few feet.

Firey body parts flew as the victims struggled, got up, and started

running again, their clothes now torn to rags, their hair on end, and

thin lines of blood on their skin.

            "HEY, WE JUST WANT TO THROW YOUR HEADS!!!!" the beasts called as they

continued to give chase. True, the hunters were running for their

lives, yes, it was terrifying, but on the bright side they were getting

a great cardiovascular workout.

*************************************************************

            We came to the field of grass and stopped. The others should've been

here by now...

            "What do you think happened?" Mil asked, shivering slightly.

            "I don't know...come on," the bored Jareth replied. "It's not very

exciting just standing here..." he sighed as he started into the field.

            "Right, let's go!!!" Lisa crowed, grabbing the porno Jareth's hand and

yanking him along. He didn't mind though; he liked things rough.

            I glanced nervously at the Jareth that I owed my life to and took hold

of his offered hand. Looking at the others, I nodded and we started

off. I yelped as I nearly fell over a discarded backpack.

            "What is it?" Essy asked, picking it up.

            "Lemme see, lemme see!!" Lisa said, rooting through it. "Some

water...some granola bars...I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!"

            "What, WHAT????!!!!" we all asked.

            "TRAVEL GUESS WHO!!!! DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THIS GAME!!! I GET TO BE THE

BLUE SIDE!!!!"

            I rolled my eyes and chuckled slightly, but quickly sobered at the

sound of manic laughter.

            "Run...go straight to the control station...don't look back.

Go...GO!!!" Everyone took off at my impatient advice and I swiftly

followed, still clinging onto Jareth for dear life. Fairy Bite tripped

and the Jareth in drag grabbed her hand and yanked her up, pulling her

along with him. We reached the station unhindered and paused for a

breath in the commons outside.

            "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

            A firey jumped out from the grass and landed on Essy's back, knocking

her to the ground. He grinned at us manically and reached for her

head...

            And suddenly began fishing through the backpack she had picked up,

instead.

            "HEY, IS THIS TRAVEL GUESS WHO!!!!!?"

            WHACK!!!! Ash took the opportunity to whack the thing off ESCAP with

her pack, but stared at it in shock as it jumped up and stood a few

inches from her.

            "HEY!!! I yelled, jumping beside Ash. "HEY YOU!!! WHERE YOU GOIN WITH

A HEAD LIKE THAT?!"

            "HEY, THAT'S MY LINE!!!!" it replied, its attention totally diverted.

Ash ran back to the others and they instantly ran inside a shack in the

complex and slammed the door shut.

            "HEY THERE, LADY, YOU WANNA PLAY!???" I backed away; somehow I didn't

think he was referring to Guess Who.

            "Uh, no thanks...I'd rather keep all my appendages!!" I replied before

high tailing it into a jeep and slamming the the door shut, right as

the firey reached the vehicle. I locked it with my foot and sat there,

breathing hard, wondering how I was gonna get myself out of this one.

******************************

            Ash, ESCAP, Mil, Fairy Bite, Lisa, and the Three Jareths stood inside

the shack, breathing hard as their heartbeats slowly began to stop

palpitating. Finally, someplace safe!!!

            "YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM US!!!!" a screeching voice shouted from outside,

and without further adieu two fireys began to dig their way underneath

the door.

            "Now what?!!!" Fairy Bite yelled.

            "Now we dig at that end!!!" Lisa replied, already yanking fistfulls of

dirt out from under the door on the far side of the room.

            "But I just had my nails done..." the Jareth in drag whined, but

joined in as the fireys began beating hard on the door.

            Essy and Mil backed up; there wasn't any space for them to dig.

Millennia's eyes widened as she came to a startling conclusion.

            "There's something...breathing on my neck."

            "What? There can't be...there's nothing behind you!" Essy replied,

frowning.

            "Then what is it?" Mil asked, taking out her flashlight and turning it

on the space behind her. She thought she had seen something...Quickly,

she flicked the light off, waited a few seconds, then flicked it own

again.

            "Essy...look..." she whispered. The girl complied and sure enough, the

fraction of the second when the light changed from off to on or vice

versa the space behind them stayed light or dark a second too long.

Almost like a chameleon changing color...

            Millennia's eyes widened in horror as she trained her beam higher and

discovered a few pairs of mismatched eyes watching her in amusement.

            "Uh...guys?" she asked softly.

            "Yeah?!" Ash replied, in a slightly bad mood from running and cowering

from the different Jareths so much.

            "We're not alone in here..."

*******************************************

Ch. 12

            I watched in horror as the two fireys tried to dig there way to the

inside of the shed...they were making very nice progress, too. But I

had other things to worry about.

            "HEY LADY!!!!" I pushed myself back further as the firey began to

break through the glass of the window in front of me. Suddenly it

disappeared. Finally, something was going my way!!! I had a full two

seconds of relief until the thing suddenly jumped through the sunroof.

            "HI, LADY!!!!"

            I gave the most dignified reply I could think of:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

            Without hesitation, I pushed the door behind me open and ran into the

shed which was now free of the fireys in front. If I had been smarter,

I would've realized they were inside, but adrenaline has the bad habit

of clouding the brain.

            I paused as I found myself inside a seemingly empty shack.

            "UP HERE!!!!" Glancing up, I found the rest of my party crowded on the

pipes right below the ceiling, motioning for me to get up there, and

fast. I quickly found out why.

            "HEY LADY!!!!" I flew up the nearby ladder and joined the rest of my

companions in cowering in fear. Unfortunately, the fireys followed.

            "Now what?!!!" Fairy Bite shrieked as the things came closer, huge

grins plastered on their faces. None of us had time to answer, though,

because suddenly a flock of white owls seemed to transform from the

very walls and fly straight up, distracting the fireys. One ran

straight into a creature, causing him to fall, hard. The other caught

on to the game pretty fast and tried to catch another owl. Too bad he

leaned over too far and when a third owl poked him in the rear with his

beak the firey fell straight on top of his companion. Without any other

distractions, the white owls transformed into three more Jareths and

stood patiently on the pipes with us.

            "RUN!!!" Mil cried, but one shook its head.

            "We're just here to help you-"

            "HOW DID YOU DO THAT FADE IN/FADE OUT TRICK!!!? SHOW ME SHOW ME SHOW

ME!!!!" Lisa yelled, nearly knocking herself off the pipes she was

standing on.

            "We're more mutations, of course...but we have chameleon-like

properties because we're other versions of Jareth that aren't as

popular, but tend to 'pop up' every now and then," another explained

calmly, smiling slightly at the pun.

            "Which three are you?" Ash asked, her curiousity piqued with her

terror.

            "I am the representation of Jareth as a...pure being," the first

goblin king replied, blushing slightly as he chose his words carefully.

I fought a smile, recalling when I came up with that quirk in "Perhaps

Love."

            "Hey, I bet I could teach him a thing or two!!!" Lisa laughed quietly

to me, careful not to let her new partner in pervertedness overhear

her.

            "I'm the representation of Jareth as Sarah's father..." the other said

quietly.

            "And I am the representations of Jareth that are yet to be...the

versions that haven't been written yet," the third said, and I realized

that was why he was dressed all in white. Someone still had to add some

'color' to his character.

            "Hey, Ash! Here's your chance...you can come up with a Jareth you

don't run away from every five seconds!" I whispered to her, grinning.

            "Very funny...you realize you are so dead when all this is over

with...why do I have the feeling you have something to do with my

inclusion in all of this?" she asked me, and I just *knew* she was

thinking of some polka songs or something to fill my brain with when I

wasn't looking.

            "Well this is all well and good, but we still need to get out of

here..." Mil sighed, and I could tell she was thinking about the scene

in the movie where Sarah Harding almost becomes raptor food on the

roof.

            "Allow us," the Jareth-as-father-figure replied, and each of the three

new Jareths conjured a crystal. Suddenly, we were standing beside a

small plane, Mitz waving at us to climb aboard as quickly as we could.

We all obeyed, and I smiled as I saw three white owls flying into the

night.

            "Thank you," I whispered before joining the others on the plane, a

strange premonition that the adventure was still far from over coming

over me...

************************************

Ch. 13

            Eisner looked with wonder at the large cage that stood before him.

Inside was the largest pouch he had ever seen, snoring quite

contentedly. He tore his attention away to regard his guide sulking

beside him.

            "Oh, come now, Jareth! Why so down...you just saved our mission and

you succeeded in your hunt, but it'll be donated to Disney World as our

newest attraction in Animal Kingdom!!"

            "Do you really think it's a suitable...exhibit?" Jareth asked, trying

to persuade him to let him have his fee.

            "Well...we'll think of something...call it a giant sentient cucumber

or something...no one has to know what it really is as long as we have

a good cover story. Just look at how the animators worked in those

subliminal messages in some of our cartoons!" the executive stated

proudly. (ooooh....that was *meeeaaannn*!)

            "HEY BOSS!!!" Eisner turned and grinned as some of his hunters came up

to him, carrying cages of various sizes. "We managed to snag some other

animals, after all!!!"

            "Wonderful...help me get them on the boat!! Put the runt pouch on my

private jet, though...I want that as an ace in case we need to mail it

to someone with a threatening letter. You see, Jareth? Things worked

out after all...and I never forget those who helped me out," he said,

thinking to himself that he only forgot about them once they lost their

use. "I'd be proud to make you a member of the Disney family! What's

wrong?" he asked, seeing the king's glum expression.

             "Besides the obvious, I lost Ash to the other side...she thinks I'm

some hideous fiend! She doesn't realize how wonderful and glorious I

can be!!" he sighed, pouting slightly. (See Ash? Jareth loves you after

all!!! heehehehe...)

            "I'm sorry, I really am," Eisner clucked, wondering how long it would

be till his stock went up again.

            "I'm sorry Mr. Eisner, but I think I've spent too long in the company

of fantasy," Jareth sighed and watched as the executive walked away.

"At least your money-grubbing fantasy...if anyone's gonna head this

operation, it'll be me!!" he mumured once the other man was out of

hearing. Turning swiftly, he morphed into an owl and headed for a

helicopter that was flying in the night.

****************************************

            I sighed in relief as our chopper flew away from the island...it was

over, at last!!! We were alive!!! Everything was going to be okay!!

            "Hey...what's going on down there?" Jareth asked, frowning as he

pressed his face against the window. The bored, gay, and porno Jareths

were there as well, but they were being kept busy by the other

listians.

            "I don't know, but Eisner sure looks busy about something!" I said,

taking a closer look, as well.

            "OH MY GOD!!!!" Lisa suddenly screeched.

            "WHAT, WHAT!!!!!?" we all yelled.

            "There's...something...on...the wing!!!" she yelped in a remarkable

William Shatner-ish voice. I rolled my eyes and grinned.

            "Thank you Kirk..what is it?"

            "It's...an owl," Millennia said quietly and immediately Lisa threw

open the door and let the thing fly in.

            "Little late to hitch a ride, isn't it, J?" Mitz asked as the bird

transformed into the egotistical Jareth.

            "Who cares!!! The more the merrier..." Lisa laughed, sizing him up

already. He sat down between Essy and Fairy Bite, who were already

squished as it was.

            "I need your help-"

            "What's the matter? Can't figure out how to fit that pouch in your

tights? I thought they had elastic in them!!! Or are your eyes a little

larger than your libido" I retorted, still mad that he had been such a

turncoat.

            "Will you cut it out! This has nothing to do with my libido...at the

moment. I'm trying to be nice..." he added, flashing his best

nonthreatening, suave smile at Ash, who still shuddered in terror,

anyway. "Eisner has got the pouch and many other creatures and he's

going to turn them loose in Animal Kingdom as soon as the Carnival

Cruise ship they're on docks at Disney World. All my subjects are in

this mess because of me...they'll be made slaves and be forced to sing

"It's a Small World" to the tourists!!!"

            "Anything but that!!!" Fairy Bite said, shocked.

            "Yeah, is he nuts? Those creatures will tear that place apart unless

they're properly motivated...we've got to save them!!" I said, anger

against Eisner that had long been dormant rising up. This time he had

gone too far!!!

            "Yeah, we've got to save that pouch!!!!" Lisa added.

            "All right, let's go kick some sacchrine-sweet rear!!! WHO'S WITH

ME!!!?"

            "I AM!!!" cried everyone except Ash.

            "Oh..all right...but do I have to stay with...with them?" she asked,

pointing to the Jareths all who gave her a grin simultaneously in

response.

            "Hey, you've got some lipstick on your teeth..." Mitz said to the

Jareth in drag, giving him a handy compact.

            "Thanks, love, I do appreciate it," he said, wiping his teeth,

producing a tube of color, and fixing his face.

            "That reminds me...what are you guys gonna do once all this is over?"

I asked the three extra Jareths we had picked up.

            "I guess I'll just be bored, like usual..." the forever-bored Jareth

sighed, rolling his eyes.

            "I really hadn't thought about it," said the goblin king in drag.

            "THIS ONE STAYS WITH ME!!!!" Lisa roared, wrapping her arms

protectively around her pervert counterpart who readily returned the

gesture.

            "Well...I think I have an idea that'll benefit everyone all the way

around...when we get to a phone, place a call to Brian Henson," I

ordered, smiling mysteriously. "He won't want to miss this."

            "So are we really taking on Disney?" Fairy Bite asked eagerly.

            "Hey, whatever works to save those creatures!!" I shouted.

            "And the giant, king-size, mega-pouch!!! OPERATION FREE WILLY IS

UNDERWAY!!!" Lisa screeched, plunging her fist into the air.

Ch. 14

            Dreamin' sighed and wished for the thousandth time that she had found

a better summer job. One that didn't make her deal with whining,

bratty, sugar-high kids, or walking for hours around a huge area or

wearing the sweltering costume, for that matter.

            "I guess that's what I get for putting down that Tigger is my personal

mascot on my application," she sighed from inside the suit. Or tried

to...breathing really wasn't an option.

            "HEY!!!! IT'S TIGGER!!!! HI TIGGER!!!!!!" Remembering her training,

and promptly discarding it, Dreamin' put on her best 'I'm gonna survive

this or die' attitude and turned towards the voice...and immediately

jumped back, but not because she was in character. It was because there

were fifty caffinated, excited children headed her way.

            "This is when I really need Jareth to save me," she muttered inside

the costume before being bombarded with cameras, requests for

autographs, and hot, exhausted parents that wanted their children in

every picture.

************************************

            "Here's your change...have a wonderful day, now!!!" Lisa said through

a forced smile as she handed the kid more ice cream. Like the beastie

needed any more...She waited until that pesky supervisor that kept

checking in on her left and then rolled her eyes.

            "Yeah...I'll give ya some change!!!" she muttered, wincing at the wad

of gum the kid had 'accidentally' transferred to her palm. She resumed

her "I'm happy and I know it" mode as another figure came over to her

popcorn stand.

            "Uh...can I help you?" she asked the disheveled figure in the Tigger

suit whose head was now facing backwards.

            "Kids...big herd of em...all wanted to see...Tigger..." Dreamin'

moaned, letting Lisa lead her to a bench.

            "Jeez...you needed a summer job, too?"

            "Yeah...ugh!" she grunted as she yanked the head off, gasping as

oxygen slowly began to return to her lungs. "What's your sentence?"

            "Concessions seller...you won't believe how much cotton candy and soda

these anklebiters can ingest in one day!!!"

            "Tell me about it!" Dreamin' agreed, picking a wayward lifesaver from

the Tigger head's ear.

            "You think you two have got it bad???!!!" a voice piped up, and both

girls turned to find an exhausted Sita coming towards them.

            "Why, what's your position?" Lisa asked, handing her a glass of

lemonade.

            "I get to sell merchandise in one of the stores," she groaned and

rolled her eyes as the other two girls started to giggle at the mouse

ears she was wearing.

            "Yeah, yeah...like I haven't heard that already! It's part of the

uniform!!"

            "You'd rather have THIS!!!?" Dreamin' asked, hefting the gigatic head

from her lap.

            "Yeah, well, if I hear any little kid screech, 'MOMMY, I NEED MICKEY

SUNGLASSES' or 'DADDY, I HAVE TO HAVE MULAN UNDERWEAR OR I'LL

DI-IE!!!!' I think I'll shoot myself," she said, shaking her head

glumly.

            "So much for this being the happiest place on earth!!!" Lisa huffed.

            "Yeah...but do you know what the new deal at Animal Kingdom is?"

Dreamin' asked, her voice dropping to a conspiritorial whisper.

            "No...no one seems to know. It's Eisner's big project, but he's not

telling anyone what it is till it gets here," Sita said, remembering

the gossip she'd heard between sales of Goofy socks.

            "Well, the boat docks this evening and all employees and the press are

supposed to be there!" Lisa said quickly as she noticed the supervisor

that suspiciously resembled a secret service agent had reappeared and

was not looking happy. "Gotta go...I'll meet ya guys there tonight,

okay?"

            "Right!" the other two replied, jumping up and getting back to work.

**********************************************************************

            "Hi there! We're here for the Animal Kingdom affair!" I said, flashing

the security guard at the dock a big grin.

            "Sorry, can't admit you. Now BEAT IT!!!"

            "Geez, I think someone has forgotten that he works for the mouse!!" I

muttered before turning to the rest of the group. "Okay, now what?!"

            "When in Rome, do as the Romans do!!" the Jareth in drag stated, and I

flashed him a suspicious look.

            "What are you talking about?"

            "Well...I have a plan...but I need a volunteer." I gulped as every

face turned towards me and flashed a predator's grin.

            "ME?! WHY ME!?"

            "This whole thing is your plan!!" Ash said, ecstatic that she was

finally getting some justice.

            "But it's for the good of the Underground!!!"

            "But darling...think of how this could help your acting skills!" the

egotistical Jareth said smugly, smirking all the while.

            "You know...I think I left my watch on the helicopter...I think I'm

gonna go check..BYE!!!" I immediately turned to flee but was held back

by a really strong goblin king.

            "JARETH!!! Don't turn on me now!!!" I pleaded at the Jareth who I

thought was on my side.

            "Sorry, dear, but we do need to get in..."

            "I WON'T DO IT!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!!" I paled at the tell-tale

click of handcuffs and looked down at my wrists and back up at the rest

of the group. Sure enough...I was surrounded. "You guys are so going

to pay for this..." I growled, then screamed in terror as I was

attacked with makeup, hair brushes, and a little magic.

**********************************************************

            "ALICE???!!!! YOU COULDN'T PICK A BETTER CHARACTER? YOU HAD TO DRESS

ME UP LIKE ALICE IN WONDERLAND??!!!" I screeched, whacking the gay

Jareth's hand away as he tried to straighten the blond wig. "You

couldn't have made me Belle or something good....you had to make me

Alice!!" I pouted.

            "Dear, with that attitude, you're lucky we didn't dress you up as the

beast," the egotistical Jareth chortled, and I glared at him. I

supposed it was necessary, but ALICE!!!? "She's so annoying in the

movie!!!"

            "Yeah, reminds me of a certain listian in real life!" Ash said,

looking around innocently.

            "Oh stop it! You look fine," Mil said, trying to restrain a laugh.

            "You look simply adorable, love," the Jareth that I owed my life to

said, but even he had a hard time keeping a grin off his face.

            "Yeah, who knew you could look that innocent!!" Lisa laughed.

            "Hey, in all respects that matter, I am innocent!" I said, taking on

the English accent for the last part.

            "Oh, good god...that is just plain scary!!" Mitz said, shaking her

head.

            "Yeah, yeah...well, here I go!" I sighed and turned towards the gate.

"And you guys so owe me..." I plunged on towards the guard before they

could utter a word.

            "Allo good sir! I'm a worker at Disney World-"

            "Well, you certainly look the part," he muttered, sizing me up.

            I kept the sweet, girly smile on my face even though I wanted to punch

his lights out. "Yes, it is simply a marvellous place...I'm so glad to

be included in the wonder that is the Disney corporation! I was

wondering if some friends and I might get in to watch the arrival of

the new attraction?"

            "Of course..here, let me get that gate for you...but first, just to be

sure, I need to hear the line." I resisted the urge to scream as hard

as I could.

            "My, but it just keeps getting curiouser and curiouser!" I said,

sachrinne as ever, my eyes as big as a doe's. I was definitely gonna

wash my mouth out with soap when the whole thing was over and done

with!

            "Ha! I love that line...all right, miss, there ya go!" he laughed,

allowing our group to enter. Once we were past I turned around and

growled, "Okay, zap away the costume! Change me back, NOW!!!"

            "I don't think so...we may need it again," Fairy Bite said, giggling

slightly.

            "CHANGE ME BACK!!!"

            "Oh, but I went to so much trouble!" the Jareth in drag sighed,

admiring the fruits of his labor.

            "Fine...but I am never letting any of you forget this!!"

            "We won't...we got your picture when you weren't looking." I turned

and glared at Essy who was now holding a camera and thought that the

situation was the funniest thing she had ever seen in her life.

            "Yeah, yeah...COME ON!!!!"

**********************************

Ch. 15

            We quickly took our place in the crowd and waited as Eisner began his

forever-long speech, relishing the flashes of the paparazzi's cameras.

            "Thank you...and let me just say that this is a huge achievement for

Disney and Ingen and-" He paused and frowned as a security guard came

up to him. I was just close enough to make out what he was saying.

            "Ship's here..."

            "It's early!" Eisner replied, and raced to where it was being

monitored.

            "We can't raise anyone on the crew, but it's slowing down..." the guy

on duty said, obviously perplexed.

            "I have a bad feeling about this..." I murmured.

            "Wrong movie," Fairy Bite reminded me, and I just rolled my eyes,

trying not to give into the temptation to deal with the itch the

pantaloons were giving me...

            The huge Carnival Cruise ship slowly reached the dock and stopped

right where it should've, except that there was no one on board. At

least, no one that was coming out.

            Not paying any attention to security, we followed Eisner on board.

            "Where's the crew?" he asked the shipyard master that had come on in

front of him.

            "All over!" he said, looking ready to be sick. I peeked over Eisner's

shoulder, and sure enough, there were body parts scattered everywhere.

            But they weren't human.

            And suddenly, they weren't parts anymore...they were fireys.

            "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! PARTY!!!! NEW FOLKS TO PLAY

WITH!!!! COME ON GUYS, OUTTA THE POOL! WE GET TO TAKE THEIR HEADS

OFF!!!!" Eisner backed up in horror as the things came closer.

            "There must be something in the cargo hold, too...check it!" he yelled

to a worker. Nodding, he pressed THE BUTTON.

            "NO!!!!!" I yelled, lunging for it, but it was too late.

            "CCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!!!!!!!" We all shrieked

in terror (or in the Smut Queen's case, I think it was delight) as the

king-sized pouch, now the size of an automobile, emerged from the cargo

hold.

            "DIDN'T YOU TRANQUILIZE IT!!!?" the egotistical Jareth bellowed.

            "Yes, but we needed it to be alert, so we gave it Viagra..only we

didn't know how much to give it!" Eisner replied, in a daze as Fireys

began to jump off the boat, along with brownies, goblins, chickens,

fairies (not the king in drag...the other kind!), and the entire herd

of pouches. I fought a laugh as they all began to head for Disneyworld.

            "WHAT'S GOING ON!???!!" Eisner yelled.

            "I think the happiest place on earth just got even happier!!!" Lisa

laughed, eyeing the giant pouch that slid off the boat and headed with

the rest of its native people to the magic kingdom.

            "Eisner..we can fix this! Where's the runt pouch?" I asked, in no mood

to goof around.

            "It's safe," he mumbled, still shocked.

            "TELL US NOW!!!" the egotistcal Jareth roared and Eisner was

immediately shaken out of his spell.

            When he told us I about keeled over...how would we ever find it

*there*?!

            "All right, guys...you know what to do!! Let's go!!!" I yelled, and

all of us headed after the labyrinth creatures that were now in the

process of storming the magic kingdom.

            "Can we go down Splash Mountain!? Puh-lease!!!" Lisa begged.

            "Dear, don't tell me you're trading me in! I thought you enjoyed the

ride you had earlier..." the porno Jareth replied and she nodded

enthusiastically.

            "Come on! We don't have time for this...Ash, Mitz, Essy, and I will go

get the pouch. You, Mil, Lisa the Smut Queen, Fairy Bite and the other

kings see if you can round everyone up and explain the plan to

them...we'll meet on Main Street when we have the runt!" the

egotistical Jareth replied, and rushed off with his group.

            "Guys? Is that you!!!?" a familiar voice asked, and I turned and gaped

at Dreamin', Sita, and Lisa.

            "Yup! It's a loooong story," I sighed, then glared at their amused

looks. "Don't start! I needed a cover to get in!" I sighed as I looked

down at my attire once again.

"Besides, I love the fur," I said to Dreamin', who rolled her eyes and

grinned.

            "Why are there laby characters storming Disney World?" Sita asked.

            "Who cares!!! It's better than the kids!!!" Lisa laughed, and I could

tell she had had a reaaaly hard day.

            "We're supposed to round them up and keep them entertained while the

others go and get a runt pouch. We're going to use it to lure the

viscious beast back to the boat and ship him back to where he belongs!"

I explained, then laughed as Lisa spied the porno Jareth.

            "Heeey...if that includes these guys, I'm up for the job!!" she

immediately replied, racing towards him.

            "HEY, HE'S MINE!!! GET YOUR OWN!!!" the Smut Queen bit out, grabbing

her Jareth protectively and provacatively all at the same time.

            "All right, all right..." Lisa sighed, then walked over to the bored

Jareth. Something told me he wouldn't be bored much longer...

            "Well, let's get going!!! We've got a theme park to save!!!" Mil

cried, and we all exchanged grins...yes, save it we would....but from

what?

______________________________________________________

~

Ch. 16

            It is a known fact that when someone who has been secluded their

entire life is suddenly let loose they either cower in fear or run

wild. It was the second option that the creatures of the labyrinth

chose as they raced toward the theme park, ready for some excitement.

Entering the park, they immediately attracted tourists.

            "Mommy! Look at those characters!!!" a little boy said, tugging at his

mother's arm.

            "Yes, dear...have you ever seen anything like them?" she whispered to

her husband.

            "No...must be animatronic or something!" he replied, frowning at the

group of red creatures that was in front of them.

            "HEY, CAN YOU TAKE OFF YOUR HEAD, LIKE THIS!!!?" one shouted, inducing

wild laughter from its friends as it tore its head off its shoulders

and began to dribble it like a basketball on the pavement.

            "Cool!!!" the boy giggled.

            "AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!" the parents yelled, picking up

the kid and running for dear life. Shrugging, the fireys turned their

attention to a popcorn stand and began throwing M&Ms into the air with

much gusto.

            "Hey, you!!" The fireys looked up at the angry yelling. All that was

there was a walking dog wearing a weird hat. In fact, it was downright

goofy-looking. "Get away from there!!!"

            Immediately curious, one of the creatures jumped off the cart and onto

the thing's shoulders.

            "WHERE YOU GOIN WITH A HEEEEAAAAD LIKE THAT!!! I'LL JUST TAKE YOUR

HEAD OFF- HEY, HE GOTS TWO HEADS!!!!" it yelled as it yanked the dog's

head off, only to find a human man's head underneath!!!

            "HOW MANY MORE HEADS YOU GOT ON UNDER THERE!!!?" another firey

shrieked, intriuged. "COME ON, LET'S FIND OUT!!!"

            "AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the worker

screamed before running down Main Street, followed by a pack of amazed

fireys.

***********************************************

            Meanwhile, at MGM studios...

            The Star Warriors filed through the line with glee...Star Tours was

one of the best rides in the park!! They oohed and aahed at the

Threepio and R2 animatronics and anxiously looked at pictures of the

characters.

            "BWOTHUH!!!!!!" a deep voice roared behind the group of teenagers.

They all turned from the picture of Chewbacca they had been looking at

and stared in shock at the tall, furry beast.

            "Uh...what is that? Some guy in a suit?" a guy asked.

            "I don't remember him in the Phantom Menace.." a girl replied.

            "BWOTHUH!!!!!!!!!!!" Ludo shouted, running for the picture of the

Wookie and ripping it off the wall. The fans screamed and raced away,

completely forgetting Yoda's line about how "size matters not."

            Sometime later, an exultant Ludo emerged from the ride that had been

strangely empty. Who knew the world could contain so much entertaining

stuff. He tromped outside and climbed up onto the model of the Ewok

Village set up in front of the complex the ride was housed in.

            A deep howl and a shout of "MAY THE FOWCE BE WITH YOU!!!!" echoed

through MGM, making many wonder what the next prequel would be about.

************************************************

Meanwhile..in Peter Pan's flight..

            The family relaxed as their "pirate ship" took off the conveyor belt

and into the building that housed the rest of the ride.

            "Wooowwww...." the little girl cooed as the city of London appeared

underneath them. "This is so cool!!!" The weary parents looked at each

other and smiled, glad that all the money and efforts had been worth

it. Soon, they were over Never-Never Land...

            "Look, it's Tinker Bell!!!" the girl laughed, pointing to a shimmering

spot beneath them. Only it didn't seem to blend in with the rest of the

ride...

            "Is it...flying up to us?" the mother asked the father, frowning

slightly in the dark.

            "HI TINK!!! HI!!!" the girl yelled, waving as a tiny pixie perched on

the bow of the ship.

            "It's a wonder what they can do with robots these days..." the father

said, shaking his head as he reached a hand out to it...

            "Daddy, keep your hands inside the boat! The sign said so!" the girl

replied earnestly. See, kids really are smart...

            "That's okay, sweetie, it's no big deal," he said, rolling his eyes as

his hand neared the fairy.

            "OW!!!! It bit me!!!" he shouted, jerking back his hand so fast that

the boat swayed.

            "See? I tried to tell you...YOU TELL HIM, TINK!!!" the girl laughed,

waving at the fairy as it flew off. This was definitely the best

vacation she had ever been on!!!

            "Look, there's Captain Hook!" she said, quieting down as the ship flew

over a huge pirate ship...she was so scared of Hook! Covering her eyes,

she hoped he wouldn't see her...

            "Yea verily!! I shall protect you, fair maiden!!" a brave voice

shouted in the darkness, and suddenly a fox in clothes jumped on the

pirate ship and began to duel with the animatronic Captain!

            "Get away while you can...I'll hold him off!!!"

            The parents just looked at each other as if they had gone nuts...the

girl, however, was waving madly.

            "He saved us!! Robin Hood saved us!!!" she laughed, smiling down at

the fox.

            "Thank you kind sir!!!"

            "Tis a pleasure, sweet maiden," 'Robin Hood' answered back before

disappearing from the pirate ship. "I wonder who she was talking

about..." Didymus mused, whacking his staff against the pirate. "And

where did this brute learn to fight? He's terrible!"

**************************************

            Mitz, ESCAP, Ash, and the egotistical Jareth raced through the streets

of Disneyworld, pushing screaming tourists out of the way as they

searched for the runt pouch. This was ridiculous! All Eisner had said

was that it was somewhere in the Magic Kingdom...how were they supposed

to find it?!

            "We can't go into all the rides!!" Mitz sighed, stopping and looking

around as people ran around, chased by various labyrinthian residents.

            "So what do you suggest?" Jareth said, beginning to realize there were

some limitations to being a goblin king, especially where lost pouches

were concerned.

            "Hey...hey, listen!!" Essy said, straining to hear over the shouting.

            "Is that...chirping?" Ash asked, her eyes widening.

            "It's coming from in there...come on!!" Mitzy yelled, running into

"It's a Small World" and jumping into a boat. The others followed,

wondering what they'd find...

            ******************************************

            "How are we gonna get all these guys together!!" Dreamin' shouted as

we stood in Epcot, wondering what the heck we were gonna do.

            "I have no clue..." I sighed, looking around and trying to fight a

laugh. It was all kinda funny, after all...

            "Hey, what's going on over there?" Lisa the pervert princess asked,

still half-eyeing the bondage Jareth will sharp eyes. The Smut Queen

wasn't about to give him up, though, so after a long staring contest

the princess gave up and went to stand beside the bored Jareth.

            We turned towards the Norwegian ride and watched as bunches of people

ran out, many of them wet.

            "What's going on?" the gay Jareth asked, frowning at his pair of

fishnets that had ripped on one of the sculpted hedges.

            "THE TROLLS!!! THEY'RE ALIVE!!! THEY'RE CHASING EVERYONE AROUND!!! RUN

FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" was the reply.

            "Well...the goblins do sort of look like trolls," Sita said,

shrugging.

            "Any ideas?" the Jareth that had been through both adventures asked,

frowning.

            "They're all over the park...it's impossible!!" Mil said, slumping

down into a bench. True, things did look bleak...

            I grimaced as the canned music, now "Zippety Doo-Dah" wafted through

the air...that, plus the screams were not helping my thinking.

            "Too bad we can't lure them to one place like the Pied Piper," Fairy

Bite sighed, then smiled. "Wait a minute...I have an idea!! But we're

gonna need all you goblin kings to help us out!" she added, looking at

the 'three kings,' otherwise known as the three wise guys. "Crystals

please!"

            Each king conjured a crystal and handed them to Fairy Bite, the

pervert princess, and Sita. "Now...wish hard!!!" Fairy Bite instructed,

taking charge like a born leader.

**********************

            Five seconds later the familiar melody of "Magic Dance" came crashing

through the speakers all over Disney World.

            "You remind me of the babe..."

            "WHAT BABE!!!" a goblin screeched, sticking his head out of a popcorn

cart.

            "The babe with the power..."

            "WHAT POWER!!!?" a firey yelled, running out of a gift shop it was

demolishing to see where it's king was.

            "The power of voodo.."

            "WHO DO?!" a group of dwarves asked, jumping at their leader's voice

that sounded too near...he had been watching them all along.

            "You do.."

            "DO WHA!?" a Ludo-like creature asked, sticking its head out of a

sculpted bush, leaving Pinnochio's body looking very strange with a

furry head.

            "Remind me of the babe..."

            "TO THE CASTLE!!! HE'S GOTTA BE THERE!!!" a goblin cried, and soon all

the labyrinth creatures were running for the magic kingdom...

            "Fairy, that was a stroke of genius!!" I said, amazed.

            "Thanks...see, it does come in handy to have me along!!" she said,

giving me a meaningful grin.

            "All right, point taken. Let's hurry...we don't want to lose anyone!!"

I shouted as we raced for Cinderella's castle.

****************************************

            "It's a small world after all..." Essy and company resisted the urge

to rip off their ears as the music echoed throughout the ride.

            "Is it really worth all this?!" Ash asked, frowning.

            "Hey, just cover your ears!" Mitz said.

            "I was talking about Jareth!!"

            "Funny...hey...does that part look different to you?" the ego-enlarged

Jareth asked, pointing to a group of dancing dolls.

            "Yeah....why do some of them have warty faces?" Essy replied.

            "They're goblins!!" Ash cried, fighting a laugh as the creatures put

on the costumes of different countries and began dancing with the

dolls.

            "Hey, why don't you look at me!?" one in a sombrero asked a doll

beside him.

            "Can't you dance any other way?!" one in Russian clothes asked

another. Of course they got no answer, but having the IQs of salad

dressing, they didn't catch on. The group almost had a laughing fit as

the goblins tried to sing along.

            "IT'S A TALL GIRL AT THE MALL....IT'S A BALD CURL DOWN THE HALL..."

            Suddenly Ash stood up, her ears attuned to something else. "THERE!!"

she shouted, pointing to a moving object that was definitely not a

goblin or an animatronic. There, amidst the Egyptian display was the

runt pouch, cuddling adoringly with an animatronic of a belly-dancer,

wondering just why he wasn't getting the desired reaction...I mean,

come on! The girl was as tall as he was...shouldn't she be having a

drooling fit by now!!"

            "You there! In the boat!!!" Jareth ordered, pointing inside the boat.

Unfortunately, Ash was sitting down and so his fingertip was directed

right at her.

            "EXCUSE ME!!!!?" she replied, forgetting momentarily to be afraid as

the pouch suddenly perked up.

            "Uh...I meant in the boat, the boat!!!" he replied, blushing slightly

at her fury.

            The pouch hissed at the goblin king for interrupting his attempts at

wooing the belly dancer and pointedly ignored him.

            "Great, now what!!!" Jareth muttered.

            "HEY POUCH!!!! YOU WANT SOME AFFECTION? THEN GET IN THE BLASTED

BOAT!!!!" Essy yelled, standing up with arms open wide. Immediately the

thing forgot about the doll and chirping with excitement, did a swan

dive and landed right in ESCAP's arms. Grinning ecstatically, she sat

down and pointed towards the exit. "Let's get going!! Stroke,

stroke!!!" she paused and glanced down at the madly chirping pouch and

grinned slightly. "Sorry…I was talking about the boat, but…" The

others pointedly looked away as the girl and the package discussed

plans for later that evening…

            Finally the boat pulled to a stop. "All right, let's get out of here!"

ESCAP yelled, running out of the ride to escape the horrific music.

Suddenly, though, another tune reached their ears.

            "I saw my baby crying hard as babe could cry...what could I do..."

            "Is that Magic Dance?" Mitz asked, watching as all labyrinthians

seemed to be migrating to somewhere...

            "Yeah, hey what's going on!!" Ash asked a nearby goblin.

            "We gotta get to the castle!! That must be where the king is!!" it

answered before running on.

            "Well...you know what the rest of the plan is...now that they're

distracted, let's get rid of the problem!" Jareth said, grinning as

they took off towards the boat docks. "And does anyone else besides me

find that that guy who's singing can't carry a tune?"

**************************************************

Ch. 17

            "Well, they're all here...now what?!" Dreamin' asked, grinning at the

crowd of labyrinthians gathered around the castle, trying to find their

king.

            "Why's the castle all clean?!" a goblin asked.

            "And where did the rest of it go!!?" another said, scratching his head

as he came from inside.

            "And where's the king?! I hear him, but I don't see him!!" a third

replied.

            "You up to doing some kingly duties?" I asked the Jareth beside me,

and rolled my eyes at the Lisas grins. "Not *that*! I meant could he

talk to them!!"

            "Right...Citizens of the Underground!!!" he shouted, stepping up in

front of the castle. He was met by cheers and questions.

            "Why are we here?!"

            "What is this place?!"

            "WHERE YOU GOIN WITH A HEEEAAAD LIKE THAT!!? WHAT?" the firey asked as

he was met with irritated looks. But suddenly, answering their

questions was the last thing any of us were thinking about.

            "CCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHIIIIIIRRRPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

            The car-sized pouch came crawling up behind the castle, and it

abruptly reared up and peeked its...head between the castle turrets.

Without further adieu, he began to come around to the front...

            "Oh lord...what are we gonna do!?" Mil shouted and we all looked at

each other in horror, except for the Lisas who were jumping up and down

with glee.

            "Down boy!!!" the helpful Jareth yelled, but it didn't listen. Upon

hearing us talking about him, the pouch turned towards us...

            "Oh, boy!!!" I shouted in terror.

            "OH BOY!!!" the Smut Queen shouted in bliss. The thing took one look

at me and backed away...now I was extremely glad for the Alice

costume...hey, I guess even packages are afraid of lawsuits if they

assault those that look too young.

            "Uh...Jareth, can you talk to it?" I asked, but he was trying to calm

down his other subjects. The porno Jareth immediately took over.

            "Hey friend, I understand your frustration, but you gotta calm

down..." he started, but was promptly knocked out of the way as it came

closer. Bending down, it inspected us all slowly, gradually coming head

to...uh, head with Fairy Bite.

            "No way...NO WAY!!!" she shrieked, blushing. "TELL THAT THING I'M ONLY

FIFTEEN!!!" Upon hearing that statement, the thing perked up even more

and rushing down, swept underneath Fairy Bite, scooped her onto his

back, and proceeded to crawl up the castle and wrap around one of the

turrets, a la King Kong.

            "ChirpachirpaCHIIIIRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!"

            "He says that's how old Sarah was...he says that you can work things

out!!" the porno Jareth translated.

            "TELL HIM IT WON'T WORK!!!!!!" she screeched, about ready to pass out

from hysterics. The Pervert Princess eagerly took pictures, mentally

wishing for the pouch to slip off and flash the entire theme park.

            "How are we gonna get her down???!" I yelled, glancing at the other

Jareths. They just shrugged.

            "Come down NOW!!" the Jareth in leather shouted, brandishing a

whip...where he got it from, I didn't want to know. The pouch merely

nodded to one of the smaller pouches. The smaller one immediately

jumped into the air and knocked the whip out of his hand.

            "HEY!!! THAT'S NOT-"

            "CHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP!!!!!"

            "He says all things are fair in love and war," the porno Jareth

sighed, rolling his eyes.

            The pouch nodded adamently and continued to hold Fairy Bite against

the castle.

            "FAIRY BITE....I HAVE AN IDEA!!!" the Pervert Princess shouted.

            "WHAT!!!!" she yelled back.

            "SAY YES...THINK OF THE DREAMS IT'LL BE ABLE TO SHOW YOU!!!!!!" Lisa

encouraged, jumping up and down. The Smut Queen nodded in approval and

began shouting encouraging catcalls. The girl looked down at us in

terror and got even whiter upon hearing the pouch's chirp of agreement.

            *******************************************

            "Come on, faster!! He's right behind us!!!" Mitz yelled as the group

drove the tram that they had found lying around towards the boat dock.

The pouch let out a chirp of excitement at being able to be free and

the pursuer increased his pace. Man, he was steamed!!!

            "There's the boat, quick, get it inside!!!" Ash shrieked, and Essy

reluctantly handed the package to the egotistical Goblin King.

            "Right...well...I guess this is it!!" he said, casting a wistful

glance down at Ash before running towards the boat.

            "GIVE ME BACK MY INVESTMENT!!!" Eisner screamed in fury, following the

Jareth on board the ship. "YOU'RE RUINING MY THEME PARK!!!" he

bellowed, running inside the cargo hold.

            "NOW!!!" ESCAP yelled, and threw the crystal she had been holding up

in the air. It dissolved, and suddenly the doors to the hold closed and

a giant padlock appeared on them. Slowly the boat drifted back out to

see, back towards the uncharted islands...The mission was a success.

            "Miss me?" an accented voice said from behind the girls.

            "You're...you're BACK!!!?" Ash asked, whitening.

            "Of course...you didn't expect me to leave you here alone, did you?

I'm glad for my magic, I can tell you that!" he replied, grinning and

the pouch gave a chirp of greetings. "Come on, we've got to get back to

the others!!" They immediately climbed back on the tram and headed for

the castle.

*******************************************

            "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!!!" we all turned at the new arrivals. There was

Moonlight Mitz, ESCAP, Ash, and the ego-enhanced Jareth, who was gaping

at the scene.

            "Oh wow…now there's a pouch!!!" Essy said in awe. The pouch she was

holding gave a shocked chirp and she patted its head and reassured it

that she was only looking at the mega-sized wonder.

            "Does she know that that thing's getting ready to mate?" he asked,

pointing to Fairy Bite who screamed in response.

            "Thank you so much...can you do something!?" I asked, ready to smack

him.

            "Of course...I knew I'd have to end up saving you all!" Waving his

hands, he produced a stun gun from thin air, took aim, and hit his

mark.

            The package slowly slumped from the castle and landed on its steps,

snoring peacefully, and Fairy Bite floated down in front of us, shaken,

but unharmed.

            "Thanks," she said to Jareth, who merely nodded.

            "See...that's why you take self-defense classes if you don't want that

to happen!" Sita said, trying to stop a laugh.

            "I don't think the curriculum exactly covers what to do about

*that*!!!" she shot back.

            "Come on...think of what a great pet he'd make!!" the Smut Queen

replied.

            "NO WAY!!!! I collect Sailor Moon stuff…not THAT!!!"

****************************************************

Epilogue

            "Well, I think things worked out rather well," I said, walking down

Main Street hand-in-hand with the helpful Jareth.

            "I agree...this way, we can take care of all the misfits on the

island...and with that Eisner guy gone, Disney World can rise to it's

full potential," he said, smiling at the changes. Where Cinderella's

castle once stood now lay the castle beyond the Goblin City. Where the

Epcot golf ball was, lay a giant crystal ball. All over, changes were

made to turn the entire place into one big Labyrinth theme park.

            "I'm just glad Brian was willing to go for it, and be so bold about

all the possibilities," I said, grinning as the others came to join us.

            "You been to the oubliette drop yet?!" Mil asked, referring to the

ride that had replaced the Tower of Terror.

            "Nope, we were just heading over there.."

            "Hey, we're just in time for the parade!!" Mitz said as people began

to gather on the sidewalks. A whole army of goblins and fireys began to

dance down the street, along with actors proudly sporting ballroom

garb.

            "Man, this sure beats working for Eisner!!" Dreamin' laughed, spying

the wiseman who was attempting to give directions from his tourist

information stand.

            "You...want...to get....to the castle?" he asked for the fifth time. I

shook my head and grinned.

            "And just think...we get stock in this place!!" Mil added, entranced

by the dancers.

            "Yeah, this was worth it after all...I am glad I tagged along...except

for that whole pouch thing," Fairy Bite said, coming over from a

popcorn stand, chomping on an ice cream bar that bore the silhouette of

Jareth's head.

            "Where are the others?" Ash asked, edging away from the egotistical

Jareth slightly.

            "Here they come!!" I laughed.

            "Sorry...we were just coming to fetch the guys from the redone

Pleasure Island," the Smut Queen said, arm in arm with the porno

Jareth.

            "Yeah...Forbidden Labyirnth was a great idea for the adult

crowd...that way we don't have to send any of the pouches back...not

even the big one!" I laughed, remembering watching it dive into its

rebuilt nest in that complex...it had finally stopped growing once its

supply of Viagra was revoked.

            "And these guys have jobs!!" the Pervert Princess added, grinning at

the bored Jareth who was now dressed in leather, as well...she had told

me that he hadn't really been bored...he had just needed something to

perk him up, and I guess she was the one for the job! The Jareth in

drag walked up, too, from that facility...we had been sure to

accommodate all crowds. He hadn't been sure if he could live up to the

part, but from what I had been told Lisa had been giving him private

lessons.

I laughed as Essy walked up with the runt pouch that now looked much

better…amazing what a little Viagra can do. They both looked

ecstatically pleased and the pouch gave a chirp of contentment from his

perch in her arms.

            "So, what are we going to do after we finish testing out the theme

park?" I asked, smiling at my cohorts in crime.

            "I guess it's back to writing adventures, not living them," Mil

sighed.

            "Hey, at least we have lifetime passes!! Perk up!!" Mitz said,

grinning.

            "Chirp!!" the pouch squealed.

            "Later," ESCAP whispered to it, grinning slyly.

            "Yeah...it will be good to get home," Ash sighed, pointedly ignoring

that last little exchange.

            "Speaking of which...I was wondering if you needed anyone to escort

you to that meat freezer in Newark," the egotistical Jareth started,

but quieted at her astonished look. Maybe he'd just have to take things

slower...

            "HEY LOOK, HERE COMES THE FLOAT!!!" the Smut Queen laughed, about

having a fit. We all cracked up as the crystal ball holding the dancing

pouches proceeded down Main Street...this was better than anything

Eisner could've come up with!! Even Fairy Bite was having a laughing

fit at watching them mambo!

            "Hey...aren't some of them missing?" I asked, frowing.

            "What do you mean?" the Smut Queen asked, smiling innocently.

            "I have no idea what you're talking about!" Essy replied.

            "I know nothing!!" the Pervert Princess said.

            "Nothing…Nothing? Tra la la….well maybe I can do something to fix

that…" the formerly bored Jareth purred, pulling his pervert princess

closer in his embrace. 

            "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that..." I sighed, turning back to

watch the float.

            "Hey...I wonder if there's any other versions or pouches left on the

island-"

            "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the rest of us screamed, turning to glare at

the Lisas before continuing to watch the parade.

            "Aw man!!" the Lisas and Essy replied simultaneously.

_________________________________________________________