Title: Lord of the Pants

Rating: PG-13

Fandom: labyrinth

Parts: one

Disclaimer: I own nothing of labyrinth and riverdance

Summary: a ballad of Jareth taking on the celtic dance phenomenon

 Lord of the Pants Tune: Lord of the Dance/Simple Gifts

 Flattley danced on the stage when the trend was begun

But thought a career in movies was more fun

Jareth looked through his crystal and at the earth

And said "I'll give Irish clogging a rebirth"

So then, who cares bout Flattley

I am the Lord of the Pants said he

I'll astound you all; defy gravity

I am the Lord of the Pants said he

He got an agent and began to dance

Wearing his tights instead of mere pants

He astounded the critics - he couldn't fall

But his fans were more interested in his balls

So then, who cares bout Flattley

I am the Lord of the Pants said he

I'll astound you all; defy gravity

I am the Lord of the Pants said he

Though his ego was huge he could dance, just the same

And he didn't need a shoe string to tie back his mane

While Flattley struggled in the heat of LA

Jareth-mania was coursing through the IRA

So then, who cares bout Flattley

I am the Lord of the Pants said he

I'll astound you all; defy gravity

I am the Lord of the Pants said he

He jumped and twirled and he leapt up high

With such tight pants any mortal man would die

The female cast members swooned and the fans went wild

In the first Riverdance show that was not fit for any child

So then, who cares bout Flattley

I am the Lord of the Pants said he

I'll astound you all; defy gravity

I am the Lord of the Pants said he

Flattley came back fighting, played the copyright game

All the fans and cast members said it was a shame

J had to give it up, but before he was through

His show was taped so the world could see what he could do

So then, who cares bout Flattley

I am the Lord of the Pants said he

I'll astound you all; defy gravity

I am the Lord of the Pants said he