Title: The Road of Hardship is a Dark, Winding Path

Fandom: labyrinth

parts: five

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: don't own jareth or the labyrinth

Summary: ABH format, you must take on the labyrinth to get rid of a

condition that haunts you and to obtain peace of mind

one

You sigh as you wave to some friends before heading

home. It's been a hard day at classes, and you want to

get away before the stress takes it's toll. It's

strange, but not even those who are close to you have

ever known about the one thing that probably curses

your life above all else...

            With a sigh you plop into your car and start the

engine, knowing that at least it holds off while

you're driving, a fact that you're more than thankful

for. You watch as the landscape goes by quickly, just

as most people seem to walk by everything quickly,

without stopping to think of what's in other people's

minds or hearts or lives. Those trees, though, they

know what's in their hearts, and they have to keep it

because they can't get away. That's how you feel every

now and then...trapped behind a barky skin that

constricts everything in...trapped to do anything

except keep going.

            And you do, even though it's hard sometimes. And no

one ever finds out, because that could be bad, to say

the least. With clenched teeth, you gather your things

and retreat to your house, glad that your homework's

done so that you don't have to provoke things by a lot

of monotonous reading.

            All too soon nighttime comes. It's not horrid, but

it's the hardest time...after getting ready for sleep

you head to your room and shut the door, biting your

lip, urging the sensation to go away. *Fight it...*

your mind says. *Fight it...it'll go away if you wait

long enough...* But there's another part of your mind

that barely whispers, saying "close it again...what

if...what if something were to happen, all because you

didn't close it right the first time?" You know it's

stupid, ridiculous, and silly, but it's also so hard

to resist...with a quiet whimper that you make sure

even you can barely hear, you open the door and close

it again, quickly flicking out the light.

            *One more time...* You shake your head, your fists

clenching in and out of fists.

*Do it...nothing will happen if you do it one more

time...but if you don't...* It takes you five more

times of flicking the light before your mind will let

you move on to the bed, where you end up getting up

three times before your head finally hits the pillow.

            And such is the way of your life. You know that

having obsessive-compulsive disorder isn't the worst

thing in the world, but it's far from the best. It can

happen in the hardest places to control, but control

it you must, or...

            Your chest heaves in the dark and you force yourself

to not check your clock, covering your head with an

arm to resist the urge, your mind free to wander

before it settles down for the night. *If only there

was a way...a way to get rid of all this...* you

think, nearly crying as the sudden need to flick the

light grabs you around the mind again. It's turning

out to be one of the harder nights. Flexing your

fingers, counting to ten, anything to help you fall

asleep and forget, you try to remember movie plots, to

switch trains of thought to push the urges back. You

smile slightly at one of your favorites...almost a

fairy tale, a land with other creatures, some

wonderful, some not...all different in their own

way...and a way out. Mostly you think about that, and

a small smile touches your lips right as you finally

start to doze.

            "I wish the goblins would come...and take away this

hardship right now..." you murmur as your eyes begin

to flicker closed.

part two

            You're jolted awake by a sudden gust of wind that

tears your bedroom windows open, and you gasp as

something suddenly enters, soft feathers barely

brushing against your cheeks before the owl backs

away. Your eyes are riveted to the spot as it erupts

into a man with an explosion of shimmers and

unfamiliar music.

            "You're...you're him, aren't you...you're the goblin

king!" you whisper, not able to think of another thing

to say. He smiles, amused slightly, before his

expression sobers and he takes a long stride forward.

Instinctively, you cover yourself a bit more with your

blankets and he smiles again, a sort of quirk of the

lips that doesn't seem to be on anyone else's face but

his.

            "Why?" he asks, and you tear your eyes away from

examining his costume as black as night, as dark as

nightmares.

            "I want it to stop...I've tried

everything...medicine, therapy...it's no good! It just

makes things harder...I want to be able to go to sleep

without having to go through a certain routine first,

to be able to talk to people without zoning out to

fight off one of those urges then have them question

what's going on...you have no idea how embarrassing it

is!" you blurt, almost hysteric and although his face

shows no emotion, those otherworldly eyes seem to

understand.

            "I've never had anyone make such a wish..." he

whispered quietly. "Although I've often wondered

why..."

            "I know I should be able to handle it...but for once

I just want some help..." you find yourself admitting

and you can see the shimmer in his eyes even in the

dark.

            "In theory it should work...although I've never

tried...I'm many things, mind you, but I'm not God..."

            "I know...but...but could I at least try?" you ask

hopefully. A long, moment that pulses with possibility

hangs between you.

            "Yes..." he says after staring out into space. "Yes,

you may..." You blink and suddenly you see that you're

fully dressed, on a hillside, overlooking the obstacle

that lays between you and freedom.

            "But you must understand that you won't face any

ordinary tasks...your labyrinth will be that much

harder...are you still willing to take it on?" he

asks, his face by your ear. To some it might feel too

close, but for some reason, when he's right there by

you, you feel complete.

            "I've been willing forever," you say and he smiles.

            "Then you have thirteen hours to get to the castle at

the center of the labyrinth...or else...well, let's

just hope that there isn't an or else, shall we?" he

says, and for a moment you see something change in his

expression...fear? Fear for you? That suddenly makes

it all the more terrifying, even though he was trying

to hide it from you. Silently, you watch as he

disappears. There is no mocking laughter this time, no

snide look...but understanding? When he finally is no

longer there, you turn and stare for a long minute at

your adversary.

            "Well, in lack of a better phrase...come on, feet,"

you mutter before taking off.

            In a few seconds you are standing before the

labyrinth's walls, looking for Hoggle. There are the

fairies, the pool...but no dwarf...

            "Well that's fine and dandy," you mutter, then sigh

as you turn towards the wall of the maze. "He did say

that it would be harder, though...Open sesame?" you

try, then make a face when it changes nothing. Great,

the opportunity of a lifetime, and you can't even get

in. But you've faced obstacles before and you're not

one who is easily deterred.

            You run a hand over the wall. From the outside, the

thing looks forboding, it almost speaks words it has

so much of a presence. But who can say what's really

inside? For all you know it could be devastation, or

some foreign idea of what beauty is. There could be

nothing, nothing at all...or there could be things so

complex, so terrifying, that it would chill the very

soul to ice. You wonder if it changes from person to

person, what secrets are really inside those walls.

You realize that you're a lot like the

labyrinth...people really wouldn't know you by what's

on the outside...they clearly wouldn't know what

you've been hiding and you've never thought to tell

them, never wanted to. But if someone who really

wanted to understand asks...you'll tell them more than

you would to a stranger, at least. Maybe...

            "Show me," you whisper to the wall. "Show me what you

hide..." you add and slowly, ever-so-slowly, the doors

open, pouring mist composed of wishes from a thousand

lands into the light of the Underground day. As your

eyes adjust to the tranportation from reality to

magic, you slowly enter, not knowing what to expect.

Slowly, you start walking down what seems to be a

straight corridor. Frowning, you feel along the walls

for an opening. Nothing. *Stick with it,* you tell

yourself and keep going. Nothing still. You've almost

given up in frustration, not to mention the fact that

your hands are covered with a thin, slippery residue

that you don't want to know the origins of.

            *Turn back...* "Not now..." you mutter, closing your

eyes and squeezing your fists. "Switch your train of

thought....don't think about not being able to get

through..."

            *Turn back...* It's a little more insistant now, and

you know it won't be ignored.

            *Turn back...* It's almost like a whisper, but it

speaks louder than yelling. *No,* you think, your

emotions clenching inside you. *Keep going...nothing

will happen...the world won't end, you'll just keep

going...*

            *You must turn back...you don't know what's going to

happen...*

            "Don't you dare...don't listen...just keep

going...Jareth said it was worth a try..." It's almost

your worst fear when your fears start to mingle with

the compulsions.

            *How do you know he tells the truth? Turn back...*

            "One foot after the other," you bite out, your face

cradled in your hands. Wiping your cheek of moisture,

you take a deep breath and take a step. Thirteen hours

or not, you're going to do this, at least make it this

far. One more step.

            *Turn backturnbackturnbackturnback...*

            "Ignore it...one step..." you pause and breathe

heavily as you make it another three steps. "...after

another...one step at a time...*

            *TURN

BACKTURNBACKTURNBACKturnbackTURNbackturnBACKturnbackturnback...*

like a chant that cannot escape your senses it

bombards you, almost as if it's coming from the very

walls themselves...and maybe it is. Maybe that's what

Jareth meant by the labyrinth being suited for you. It

was custom-made. You start to run, blindly intent on

ignoring the urge, the temptation that cannot be

squelched for too much longer. Suddenly, an opening.

Running like mad you turn and take it, and the next

one, and the next one before you collapse, your back

against the wall.

            "Well...it's not much, but it's better than nothing,"

you mutter, then stand up on a nearby rock near a wall

to see how far you've come. Your jaw drops when you

see that you're miles from the entrance, though you

know you didn't take as many twists and turns as there

seem to be now. "Maybe...maybe for me the turns are

something else...having to fight off the urge..." you

say thoughtfully before picking yourself up again,

knowing you can't waste another minute.

part three

            You walk on resolutely, trying to keep that part of

you that begs to be listened to separate from the rest

of you.

            *Take three steps back...look over there...* It isn't

as difficult as it was, though it still is not easy.

You pause as the walls of the labyrinth seem to

vanish, leaving nothing but a huge expanse of sand and

sun. A desert, with nothing alive in it at all.

Looking around, you shrug and decide that it's surely

death to stay put, so you keep on.

            The sun seems to get brighter after a moment, and you

put your hand up to your head to block out the light.

            You inhale sharply and try to look away as you see

yourself as you were as a child, in the therapists

office, trying to explain what was happening to you.

You moan and try to close your eyes, but the ordeal

keeps on going...brain scans, ink blot tests, talking

about your past, talking about everything...and that

syrupy, smiling doctor who you believe never did help

you. All the medicine, all the money, all the

suggestions that maybe you just weren't doing

something right, that you might even be making it

up...

            "No...it's REAL!" you find yourself screaming. "It's

my life...I KNOW IT'S REAL and I'm not crazy...I'm NOT

insane!!" you yell, though the phantasms don't look

up. "I've helped myself more than you did...I know I'm

all right...I just have a slight disorder...seratonin

imbalance," you quote from the doctor's report,

turning away from the image and walking on. Soon, a

mirage sparkles in the sand and you wince.

            You're on the stairs of your house, telling your

parents that you think you might be insane. You tell

them everything, every thought, every insane urge that

makes no sense that's in you head...and one looks at

you as if you're ready to be locked up, until the

other states that there might be a history of it in

the family. Not even your grandparents know...you've

never told hardly anyone about it, simply because if

you do you're afraid everything would be over, you'd

be declared a wacko and never allowed to live your

life.

            "I'm still loved...I'm still a person...I'm still

me...it's just that my body's a little loopy," you

tell yourself, your arms holding your stomach. Seeing

all these moments makes you feel sick, though you know

you have to keep going. "I'm still me..." you whisper.

"And whether you understand it or not doesn't change

that," you add before turning and continuing your

journey.

            Finally, one more terrible picture show. Inside a

bathroom with friends who just happened to walk in

while you were taking your medicine...one recognized

it as stress medicine right away...it's true that the

urges flare up in heat or in stressfull situations,

anyway. You softly agree and then add that it's for

obsessive compulsive behavior and your eyes get wide

as they back away as if you have rabies. You try to

tell them that it's normal, that a lot of the world

has it, but they're gone, whispering to each other as

if they're talking about a serial killer.

            "Not all people are like that...it's my choice to

tell...I'm not going to proclaim it to the world, but

I don't have to keep it bottled up, either..." you

tell yourself, then breathe deeply as the air clears,

as the desert fades away, leaving you face to face

with a long, dark tunnel.

            You run, your eyes open this time, allowing yourself

to see every time you've had to deal with an urge and

cover it up as if you were daydreaming, or had a

tick, or something incredibly stupid just so no one

would suspect. You see yourself at night, begging God

to help, begging anyone to listen, knowing that your

case was mild and there were those who had it much,

much worse, but there were times when it could be very

hard on you. And you see every time one of your

parents pulls you aside to ask if there's something

wrong and if you need to up your dosage or take it

earlier...You see everything, every hardship this

thing has given you, and you run, looking on, run by

as you watch and take in, and feel ironically proud

of yourself for dealing with it for so long and taking

it on now.

            You skid to a halt as you realize that you're in the

castle. You silently go past the throne room into the

Escher room, wondering why Jareth hasn't tried to stop

you. Where's he been? No peaches, no cleaners, not

even a goblin, for that matter. What's going on. You

enter the room only to see that it isn't changed, but

been added to. Along with all the stairs are twice as

many shadows. It's terrifying and hard to look at, but

you do. And you slowly walk down a set of stairs and

turn as you see...something.

            *Look the other way!!!!* your mind screams.

            "No...not now...ignore it!" you grit out, forcing

yourself onward. "So close..." A movement, a rustle of

clothes. You turn, and barely see the heel of a

retreating figure. You blindly follow around,

desperate to catch up. And then you stop and realize.

All your life, you've been led around by this thing,

been blindly following it even though you know it's

nothing to listen to. It's an inconvenience. And you

shouldn't have to listen to it. You do have a choice.

Wordlessly, you back away from the shadows, into the

faint light in the center of the room.

            *Come back...not towards the center...you must walk

forward...*

            "No," you say, right before you let yourself fall

backwards off the infamous ledge.

part four

            You're standing, how you got that way, you have no

clue. You're not even breathing hard, and the

thrilling pulse of your frightened heart isn't there,

you're perfectly calm. You're ready.

            You see a movement and turn towards the shadow, ready

to take on the Goblin King. A figure emerges. A very

familiar figure. Your eyes widen as the much-shorter,

much differently built figure emerges, dressed all in

black, and smiles coldly. Such a smile you've never

imagined on that face, such cruelty you've never

thought of existing in those eyes. For there, right in

front of you, is yourself, though not as you've ever

pictured you.

            "I suppose you're wondering where Jareth is...this

little confrontation is better between the two of us,"

your other self says and it's chilling to hear your

own voice talking to you, almost as if it's mocking

you.

            "Who...who are you?"

            "Oh come now! We've lived together all these

years...we were born together...and now you want to

leave me...I don't like that," it says, it's face

darkening, hands on hips. "I don't like that at

all..."

            "You're me..."

            "Not...exactly. I'm a part of you...the part that

wants to stay and play..." it purrs and you pause

midbreath.

            "You're..."

            "Your obsessive compulsive behavior...very good, very

good indeed...now, fifteen minutes left...can you get

rid of me that easily?" it asks, grinning wide. "After

all...I know what buttons to push..." it whispers,

almost seductively as it raises a hand. "Go on...you

know you want to..." it goads and you whimper as you

feel the familiar tingling in your mind, the familiar

draw to obey...

            *Go on....* You cry out as your own hand comes up,

smacking against your cheek. It's never done that

before...

            "That's your punishment for trying to leave me..." it

snarls, raising another hand and grinding it's teeth.

You wince as your own hand draws into your mouth and

your jaw clamps down, hard enough to bring pain, but

not tear the skin. That's almost what the entire thing

is...an annoyance, but not bad enough to do real

damage.

            "No...I will not follow you!!" you bite out, head in

your hands as you resist the urge to back away.

            "You need me...look at you, you're a wreck!" it

chortles, it's mouth right next to your ear now.

*Think of something else...* you tell yourself and

frown as a memory suddenly comes to you...an owl

bursting into your bedroom. "We have to be together."

            "No...there might be something missing, but it isn't

you...you need me...you need me to stay alive," you

whisper, suddenly realizing as you look up into your

own startled eyes. "You...you're noth-"

            "Stop!! I'm a part of you...wouldn't it be hard to

try and stop me? Why put that pressure on

yourself...let's just stay together..." it says,

though you now start to see the pleading in it's eyes.

You know you're right, that you've won, or almost won.

            "You're nothing...you can't really hurt me, you just

want me to think you can...you...you have no power

over me!!" you whisper, then repeat louder, until the

thing is screaming and you feel the sudden tug like

something is being sucked out of you...and then it's

suddenly over with.

part five

            You sit up in bed, gasping. Has it been a dream? You

sigh, wishing it weren't as you glance at the clock

and then lie back down. And feel no need to do it

again. Looking down at yourself, you shake your head,

amazed. You're free. Free. Such a small word, yet such

an important one. The hoot of an owl diverts your

attention and you smile as Jareth forms in your room

once more.

            "For once it's good to hear those words issued at

someone else," he chuckles and you grin.

            "Thank you..." you say, truly meaning it and he nods.

            "Thank you."

            "For what?"

            "For letting me back in...for coming back..."

            "What are you talking about?" you ask, totally

confused.

            "I thought you realized...back there you said that

that thing might have been a part of you, but it

wasn't a necessary part, that something might still be

missing..."

            "You..." you suddenly realize, the part of your mind

that loves metaphors kicking in. "You're me...the part

of me that could actually do something to fight

it...the part that I thought I didn't have..."

            "You had it...I've just been kept locked away for a

long, long time," he says bitterly. "That thing wasn't

stronger, but it had a way of keeping your

attention...So are we back?" he asks, reaching out a

hand.

            "Back to stay," you murmur, clasping it, revelling in

the flow of energy as slowly the goblin king

disappears, your nerve and determination and power

back in one body again. Sighing, you look down on your

bedspread and pick up all that's left...his amulet.

Smiling, you hang it on the bedpost, knowing that

you'll keep it always. And that you'll always have a

liking for owls.

            With one last smile and a large sigh of relief you

settle down for a nice, peaceful sleep.

The End