"Mind of a Child " by Corinne Whitaker  "Angel Of The Cross Being Engulfed In The Vapors Of Meta-Mystical Disunion" by Allen Toney

"Hope" (partial) by Judy York A Missing, The Longing My dad he is missing and I long for him I think he left us I know what it felt like or was it maybe, just a divorce Dad all those years you were gone. I asked you, mother what happened, what went wrong You said, don't you bother or I will dis-own you What the _ _ _ _ does that do To your sons and daughter Secretly, I searched for you While, mom you were none the wiser Then you passed away, you were through I was then like a high riser moving with great fervor looking for you, dad I did not care if I was sad or  even if I was mad As I wanted to see my real father I had searched the internet for all the families of our last name It seemed like six or one half dozen or the other I was not a gambling man, you bet Hundreds of phone calls and dollars, who could I blame I even went to school to learn How and what steps it would take how will genealogy help me discern I wanted to leave not a stone unturned In class my professor asked why we were here Well, I think I had a good answer She said see me when this session is over A glimmer of hope arose then one day, just before thanksgiving the professor rose She said to the class, with no mis-giving there is a student in here who has been looking for his father for over twenty years (It has been forty years) oh! brother! The tears welled up in my eyes with that lump...you feel inside She said, Gary, I found your dad I talked to him, boy, was he surprised! I said to myself, HE WAS?... You found him?... He's glad? My watering eyes were now pouring like rain drops streaming down the window It was like they knew just how to flow All I wanted to do, right then, was go. I suddenly imagined...I was a kid again With my dad, taking me for a walk holding my hand...having a talk We did have that talk and the pain dissipated...waned. Written by Gary H.. May 27/1997

"The Birthing Of Meta-Mysticism" by Allen Toney "Between Heaven And Hell The Soul Is Transfixed " by Allen Toney

Closure And An Ending We met by chance through a mutual friend we wrote letters to one another This was are only romance Some poems, some art, I did send Then your side of the family, your mother  It was not soon, after we met We entered into the biggest commitment that any two people have ever kept And do to our own desires and want Our first child arrives The doctor said, and this I will always remember "Well, here is your football player", he surmised As he was ten pounds, fourteen and one half ounces That day in October I was, before we met On a great and wonderful adventure One that, most people, have not kept this one was, "who am I", a creature? I gave that up, my choice for your suffering and lack of support or even a voice for how you were brought up It was your exposure to booze drinking All the while I held back, a stop. For what? your critical ways that you had learned from your mothers days I felt ridiculed and burned As the soul of my heart yearned to recover the passion to let go of all the suspicion For nearly 21 years and almost to the day I watched and held you, as the tears of your childhood would stay inside of you, you blamed me too. When I had little to do with what was really going on with you. We had two more children they all are the most beautiful that a father could be near and in that pride, it can't be taken, not earned It is just what's so, there is no rule no convincing me, as a smile Is all you will see as I share with you, all the while. You went back to school At the end of your nurturing that some mothers do When the babies are feeding of that I was so proud of you You learned how to analyze, figure out, maybe, you hoped to realize that which was a dilemma throughout your life did you call it systemmia? Ah, no it was systemic Or it seemed like a knife that you waved around poking here, poking there mostly, "below the belt", way unfair It is NOT what they taught you! don't practice on your loved one you turned me into a guinea pig, a rat, I'm done. As I watched the end of all those years trying, oh yes crying Mr. Perfect, your fears I walk away, sighing from my heart, my mind and my soul Who I am, I will now find filling up the gaping hole no longer playing a role. Written by Gary H...May 27/1997

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