music by Dana P. Rowe
book and lyrics by John Dempsey
#14 CASE CLOSED
EDDIE
OK, Zombie Boy! Time to face the press....
MISS STRICT
(marching onstage)
And another thing, Mr. Warner....
(EDDIE and MISS STRICT spot each other and are thunderstruck.)
EDDIE
DELILAH STRICT!?
MISS STRICT
EDDIE FLAGRANTE!?
BOTH
IT'S BEEN A VERY LONG TIME...!
(Oblivious of everything, they begin to move toward each other
as if in a trance, when...)
JOSH
You two know each other?
MISS STRICT
(straightening up and hissing at the KIDS)
Get to class! All of you!
EDDIE
IT'S BEEN MANY YEARS, DELILAH.
ALWAYS KNEW WE'D MEET AGAIN.
NEVER KNEW EXACTLY WHERE
AND NOT A CLUE AS TO THE WHEN.
MISS STRICT
AFTER ALL YOU PUT ME THROUGH,
THE TRAGIC SCENE THAT CAME TO PLAY,
AFTER ALL THAT HAPPENED THEN....
EDDIE
What?
MISS STRICT
Well, I...
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS TODAY!
EDDIE
(indicating JONNY)
SO I SEE.
WHAT'S THE SCOOP?
THERE'S NO LIMIT TO THE DEPTHS TO WHICH I'LL STOOP!
MISS STRICT
WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS AN ISSUE
WITH A CONTROVERSIAL BENT.
IF I BREAK ONCE WITH TRADITION
I'LL HAVE SET A PRECEDENT.
IF WE LET HIM COME TO ROOST HERE
THEN THIS ZOMBIE CLIQUE WILL THRIVE.
AND HE WASN'T ALL THAT SPECIAL
EVEN WHEN HE WAS ALIVE.
CASE IS CLOSED,
SHUT AIR TIGHT.
IT'S ALL THERE AS PLAIN AS DAY IN BLACK AND WHITE!
EDDIE
WELL, I HATE TO DISAGREE, LOVE,
BUT THIS STINKS TO HOLY HEIGHTS.
YOU'RE DENYING HIM HIS DUE.
THIS IS A CASE OF CIVIL RIGHTS!
HE BELONGS!
MISS STRICT
DON'T BE DENSE!
EDDIE
GOD, YOU'RE GORGEOUS WHEN YOU'RE TENSE....
JONNY
MAY I SPEAK IN MY DEFENSE...?
HERE'S THE SITUATION, MA'AM,
I'M TALKING HONEST POOL.
I JUST WANT AN EDUCATION, MA'AM.
I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL.
LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING, MA'AM,
WELL, WHAT WITH ALL I DID.
BENEATH ALL THE TRAUMA
I'M STILL JUST A KID.
EDDIE
BENEATH ALL THE TRAUMA
HE'S STILL JUST A KID.
JONNY
ONE MORE POINT CONCERNING
HOW MY CHARACTER'S IN DOUBT;
I'M PLANNING ON RETURNING,
WHILE THE NORM IS DROPPING OUT.
I HAVE NO HOPE OF LEAVING, MA'AM,
I THOUGHT YOU UNDERSTOOD.
BENEATH ALL THE GANGRENE
I'M BASICALLY GOOD.
EDDIE
BENEATH ALL THE GANGRENE
HE'S BASICALLY GOOD.
MISS STRICT
RULE NUMBER 7,
SUBSECTION 9,
OF THE HANDBOOK OF STUDENT LIFE SAYS --
NO ZOMBIES!
NO ZOMBIES!
GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD.
NO MONSTERS!
NO MUTANTS!
NO SATANIC WALKING DEAD!
EDDIE
DELI...
MISS STRICT
Hey!
EDDIE
"MISS STRICT," I MEAN,
LET'S BE HONEST HERE.
PUT OUR CARDS OUT ON THE TABLE.
LET US PERSEVERE.
JONNY
I WANT TO COME BACK!
MISS STRICT
AND I WON'T LET YOU!
EDDIE
WELL, THAT'S CLEAR.
(to himself)
WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A CANDIDATE
FOR HERO OF THE DAY.
HE COULD EAS'LY BE THE COVER-BOY
FOR NEXT WEEK'S EXPOSÉ.
BUT BEYOND THE FAME AND GLORY
THERE'S A POINT HERE TO BE MADE.
EQUAL RIGHTS FOR THE UNDEAD
COULD BE A NATIONAL CRUSADE!
I'M THE MATCH.
HE'S THE FUSE.
PUT TOGETHER, WE COULD MAKE THE NETWORK NEWS!
MISS STRICT
(to EDDIE)
HEAVEN KNOWS HOW FIRST HE GOT HERE,
BUT HE'S LEAVING THROUGH THAT DOOR.
IF THIS FREAK WANTS HIS DIPLOMA
THAT'S WHAT CATH'LIC SCHOOLS ARE FOR.
JONNY
ALL I WANT
IS A BREAK.
AFTER ALL I'VE GOT MY AFTERLIFE AT STAKE...
(All sung simultaneously)
JONNY
HERE'S THE SITUATION, MA'AM,
I'M TALKING HONEST POOL.
I JUST WANT AN EDUCATION, MA'AM.
I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL.
LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING, MA'AM,
WELL, WHAT WITH ALL I DID.
BENEATH ALL THE TRAUMA
I'M STILL JUST A KID. |
MISS STRICT
NO ZOMBIES!
NO ZOMBIES!
GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD.
NO MONSTERS!
NO MUTANTS!
NO SATANIC WALKING DEAD! |
EDDIE
WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A CANDIDATE
FOR HERO OF THE DAY.
HE COULD EAS'LY BE THE COVER-BOY
FOR NEXT WEEK'S EXPOSÉ.
|
ONE MORE POINT CONCERNING
HOW MY CHARACTER'S IN DOUBT;
I'M PLANNING ON RETURNING,
WHILE THE NORM IS DROPPING OUT.
I HAVE NO HOPE OF LEAVING, MA'AM,
I THOUGHT YOU UNDERSTOOD.
BENEATH ALL THE GANGRENE
I'M BASICALLY GOOD. |
NO ZOMBIES!
NO ZOMBIES!
GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD.
NO MONSTERS!
NO MUTANTS!
NO SATANIC WALKING DEAD! |
BUT BEYOND THE FAME AND GLORY
THERE'S A POINT HERE TO BE MADE.
EQUAL RIGHTS FOR THE UNDEAD
COULD BE A NATIONAL CRUSADE! |
ALL
HEAVEN ONLY KNOWS WHERE THIS WILL
LEAD TO WHEN EXPOSED --
EDDIE
TOP STORY!
JONNY
MY FUTURE!
MISS STRICT
NO ZOMBIES!
ALL
CASE CLOSED!! |
