Note: To get the full experience, you should be listening to the song as you read the story. It'll work best if you read at the same speed as I do, of course, but let's give it a try anyway, shall we? Start and stop where I've marked it. Of course, you're perfectly welcome to read it without the song, too. This takes place during early May of Harry's fourth year. Rated PG-13 for…er…implied situations.
The enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry showed nothing but blue sky, a sure sign that this spring Saturday would be best spent outdoors on Hogwarts' abundant grounds. At the Gryffindor table, the fourth year boys were discussing their plans for the day over a late breakfast. Most other students had already left, either for the bright sunshine or, as Hermione had, for the quiet of the common room. Harry and Ron had unsuccessfully tried to get her to leave her books for the day, but as she insisted, "Exams are only a few weeks away, you know, I've got loads of work to do!" Something was about to happen, however, that would make the boys forget about both the sunshine and exams…
Ron was just turning to Harry, asking, "So what do you want to do first? Relax, lounge, or take it easy?" when a voice that was definitely not Harry's interceded.
"We need to chat."
Ron looked up. Standing directly across the table from him was Fleur Delacour.
Ron gaped. "We - we do?" he managed to squeak out.
Fleur leaned closer to him, so close that their noses were almost touching. "Oui," she breathed, a wild but insistent look in her eyes.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Ron was aware of the entire table staring at him. "Er, um," he stammered, rising slowly to his feet, "All right, then."
Fleur smiled brilliantly, made an indistinct noise in her throat, then reached over and grabbed Ron by the collar. It was all he could do to keep upright as she pulled him over the tabletop with a strength he never thought she possessed.
Harry ducked out of the way of a platter of eggs that Ron accidentally kicked on his way over. When he resurfaced he saw Fleur flitting out of the Hall, still dragging a stupefied Ron behind her.
Amazed, Harry looked around at the equally shocked faces of his roommates, Fred, George, and Lee. As one, they jumped up and dashed after Fleur and her captive, all thoughts of the sunny day driven from their adolescent male minds.
They chased them up to Gryffindor Tower with help from equally astonished portrait inhabitants, including the surprised Fat Lady ("Banana fritters!" cried Fred) and up the spiral staircase to the boys' dormitories. Harry barely saw Hermione looking puzzled and surprised from her position amongst her books as he passed by.
Meanwhile, Fleur had flung Ron onto his bed as she pulled out her wand and locked the door. Ron finally regained the gift of speech. "Er, Fleur? What…?" he trailed off as Fleur whipped around, platinum hair swirling and a dangerous look in her eyes. Was that…music striking up in the background? [START] Then she sang:
"Whatever Fleur wants,
Fleur gets,
And little Ron, little Fleur wants vous!"
She leapt forward and poked her finger at his chest as he frantically scooted backwards.
"Make up your mind to have
No regrets,
Recline yourself, resign yourself, you're through!"
Ron scooted too far and fell off the bed, quickly getting up and backing away on foot, but she followed.
"I always get," she laughed, "what I aim for,
And your heart and soul is what I came for!"
She jumped to him again.
"Whatever Fleur wants,
Fleur gets,
No use to fight, don't you know you can't win?"
Ron vaulted over Neville's trunk, petrified now that he had an idea what she was getting at.
"You're no exception to the rule,
I'm irresistible, you fool!
Give in…"
She backed him to the wall.
"Give in…" she said softer. Ron looked frantically for an escape.
"Give in…" softest of all.
Outside the door, the boys were pushing and shoving to get the best listening spot. Then they heard a female voice, loud and clear:
"Oh my robes!"
Their eyes widened and the shoving increased.
"You like my ruffles?"
Fred and George were staring at each other in disbelief. Harry could imagine what was going on in their heads: could this be our little brother??? If what they thought was happening was happening…
"Ai yi yi, ai yi yi, goooooo Ron!"
"Go Ron is right!" exclaimed Dean. They nodded vigorously.
"What on earth is going on up here?" Harry turned around to see Hermione a few stairs below, hands on her hips, looking at them curiously. He could feel the other boys' eyes on him, clearly saying, "This is Guy Time, get rid of her!" He gave her a quick summary. For once, she was speechless, clapping a hand over her mouth and looking torn between laughter and censure, but the first got the better of her and she started to snicker.
He had to get her out of here, but what if anyone else become interested? The proverbial light bulb blinked on. "Go back down and keep the others away, will you?"
She nodded through her giggles, looking slightly put out but grateful for the suggestion, and dashed back downstairs, trying to get control of herself. Harry turned back to the assorted noises coming from his room.
"My hero!"
He faintly heard Hermione downstairs, "No, Ginny, I really don't think you want to go up there right now."
Back inside, Ron had grabbed Harry's Firebolt and was using it to fend off Fleur's advances, all the while wondering why he was doing so.
Fleur snatched the broom away. She seemed to be enjoying the chase a lot more than Ron was. She grabbed his arms, triumph in her eyes, but he slipped away.
"Uh-oh."
He needed a plan - where were his friends when he could use them? Fleur was laughing almost maniacally now…maybe he could distract her somehow…?
Then his own words came back to him: "Are you a witch or not?!?" and he mentally smacked his forehead. Just then, Fleur started singing again, still chasing him around the room. He backed into the space between his and Harry's beds, and Fleur took the opportunity to climb on top of their trunks, one foot on each.
"I always get what I aim for,
And your heart and soul is what I came for!"
She put one foot down.
"Fleur wants,"
The other came down.
"Fleur gets,"
She tilted her head and winked cutely at him. "You'll never win."
He was looking frantically around, and she grabbed his face and kissed him.
"I'm irresistible, you fool!"
The feral look was back…where the hell was his wand???
"Give in…"
Wait - was it in his pocket?
"Give in…"
Now!
Ron launched himself through his bed curtains, yanked out his wand and cried, "Alohomora!" [STOP]
Meanwhile, the boys were wondering why it had gotten so quiet. Harry's mind was racing. Would Ron really…? But what about…? Then again…
Suddenly, the door flew open. Neville and Seamus, who had been leaning on it, fell over. A redheaded figure flew out, cried, "Harry, help!" and dove behind him. Harry tried to look as big as he could as the others gaped. Their heads whipped back to the door as the room's other occupant emerged. Harry could feel Ron quaking in fear behind him.
Fleur smiled and winked at the huddled shape. "Now tell me, Ron, wasn't that just like a hot butterbeer on a cold day?" She straightened her disheveled robes, spun around, and set off down the stairs.
The boys watched her go, looked back at the whimpering Ron, and burst out laughing.