note: the ZD All Star award will be given out to whoever i see fit, as often as i feel like giving it out. All-Star #1

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The first ZD All-Star Award goes to none other than Dave Vitto. Often underappreciated, seldom understood, Vitto is a well deserving recepient of this honor. His stories have no point and his trash talking is weak, but he says things like "Pornography is our capital" and "You know how me and Zach are with essays...we lay them down like nubile virgins and have our way with them" that more than make up for his faults. If I were looking to start a posse I'd want Vitto on my side. I don't think he's that tough, but he wears shirts with dragons and skulls on them that make him look tough, and he's loyal. Furthermore, he always has plenty of Ranch dressing in the refridgerator that i can put on my pizza. Countless others have been touched by Vitto. Roommate James Atchison said, "One thing I noticed about Vitto when we were cleaning up this summer is that he is very gifted at emptying trashcans into trashbags. I've never seen someone spill less trash when performing this task than Dave Vitto did that day. It's really one of his more remarkable qualities." Walton Kingsbery is also amazed by David Vitto, but for a different reason: "His comments are shocking, like a snake popping out of a peanut can." Whether it be for his community service, witty (yet often nonsensical) remarks, or snazzy clothing, Dave Vitto has earned this award, and sets a high benchmark for future All Stars.

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vitto himself in the foreground