September 2000

(Gundam Wing and the characters from it do not belong to me. They belong to their owners. This is probably really out of character, but please don't flame me because of that. C&C welcome!)

:: Blah :: = the letters

:: I love you and I know you love me. Every night I dream about you. I dream about your hair close to my face, cascading over the pillows, your beautiful eyes shining as they gaze into mine, your body lying close to mine. Your skin is soft under my fingertips and lips. You taste so sweet when we kiss. I miss your hands touching me. I miss touching you. I know it is only a matter of time before we are reunited, but waiting is so hard for me. I love you with all my heart.
Yours forever,
Me.::

Duo looked up from reading the letter that he had just received, confusion written on his face. "Me?" He said into the night air. "Me?! What kind of way is that to sign a letter?" Shaking his head and long chestnut braid about, he scrunched up the letter and threw it over his shoulder, letting it come to rest amongst a pile of similar unwanted letters somewhere in the mess that once upon a time had resembled a bed room. "This is getting ridiculas. I have never done any of that stuff with ANYONE let alone some crazy anonymous 'me' person!" Thinking it was just another crazed fan girl... (nah, security was too good for anyone to find them with out their permission first, so probably just one of the other pilots trying to get him back for his last bout of practical jokes:

Wu Fie: swapped the can of spray starch he used on his under shorts 0.o with sprayable sugar then let him go meditate in grass that was infested with ants. (fond memories of WuFie dancing around screaming about injustice and killing Maxwell filled his mind. It had been incredibly funny to watch.) So Wu Fie could be the culprit...

Quatre: locked him in a room full of rabid fan girls (with a few rabid fan boys thrown in) and left him there for a few hours. Although... Quatre seemed to consider that to have been a favor more than any thing else...

Trowa: Hadn't done anything yet... still thinking of what he could get away with...

Heero: Here he had to be careful...Any thing too over the top and Heero really would kill him. So he just hacked into Heero's laptop and set the desktop picture as a collage of every photo he could find of Relena trying to smooch him. *blerk!* Heero HAD threatened to kill him after that, but was more interested in how he had managed to hack in in the first place. Duo had just grinned and ran off.)

...he paid the letter no heed.

Personally he thought if a few stupid Anonymous letters were all they could come up with to get back at him, then they were simply beyond pathetic. Smiling his trademark smile, he flopped back onto his bed and waited for Heero to come back from his latest mission.

Out side Duo's bedroom window someone watched, holding a video camera, as Duo settled in for bed. This person smiled longfully when the bedroom light switched off, before slipping away from the house through the garden that the little blond pilot had spent the day tending so thoroughly.

Heero returned in the early hours of the morning. It had been a week long mission and he was actually looking forward to some rest. O.o

Another week passed uneventfully. For Heero, any way. Duo had received at least one letter for every day over the last few weeks. Each one he would read, shrug/laugh/blush at, then scrunch it up and throw it over his shoulder to join the pile on the floor.

"This is really starting to border on harassment." Duo muttered with still no clues to who this 'me' person was even after all personal (some VERY personal) letters. "It must be one of the guys." He decided. "Still trying to play with my head. Ha. Well it wont work, ya hear?!" He gave a patented-generic-manga character-victory/challenge stance complete with cackle, then promptly went to bed.

Heero, from the other bed in the room puzzled over his room mate's strange behavior for not the first time.

Heero was up early. Heero couldn't sleep. Heero was bothered by the fact that some how some one had managed to find the damned braided pilot, even after all the other hideouts/safe houses they had traveled through. He had no idea what was IN the letters, only that Duo would read, state something about how stupid it was to sign a letter with 'me' and no other indications of identity, then trash the letter. At least at first he had been trashing the letters. Now Duo was actually keeping the letters (after recovering the trashed ones) and was looking them over carefully. Heero was bothered that such simple letters were throwing Duo off so much. But then again, perhaps Duo was equally concerned about their obvious breach in security.

Heero was in the kitchen drinking coffee when the object of his wondering stormed into the room using a walking stance that was similar to a sumo wrestler stomp, a letter clutched tightly in his fist until it was slammed into the table top before him. Hero looked up calmly. Duo was scowling, one eye twitching, hair unkept, with dark circles under his eyes.

"Alright Heero. Very funny." Duo hissed. "You win. Ha ha. I give up. Now you can stop with the letters and leave me alone."

"Good morning to you too, Duo." Heero blinked as Duo sumo-stomped out the front door. He followed bringing the letter with him. "What are you doing?"

Duo was fumbling through his pockets. "Having a smoke. What does it look like." He ground out through the unlit smoke in his mouth. "Where's me frikken lighter?"

"You don't smoke." Heero told him.

Duo just grunted and continued his search for a light. Heero snatched the cigarette from his mouth, and the packet from his fingers. "Hey!"

"What is this about? You don't smoke. Why have you started now."

"As if you don't know. Ha ha Heero. What a great joke." Inside the phone rang and was answered by Quatre.

"What are you jabbering about now?"

Duo glared at him with a ferocity that could rip building apart. "Don't you DARE-"

"Duo!" Quatre called out. "Phone for you!" Duo paled then entered the house again, noticing the others were up and about. ALL of them preparing for breakfast. Even Wu Fie. He looked at the cordless phone Quatre was holding out to him with trepidation. Taking a deep breath he took it.

"Hello?" He asked quietly. There was silence on the other end. "Is any one there?" Quiet. He was getting pissed at this. "No one there? Well, BYE!" He said cheerfully making to hang up.

"You're so sexy when you're frustrated." Came a male voice from the other end. Duo brought the phone back to his ear.

"Who is this?" He asked.

"You know who this is. Stop pretending."

"Sorry, but I don't. Who is it? You know how voices change over the phone. And stuff."

"Yeah." The man replied. "Yeah I know. Sorry."

"So who are you?"

"It's me."

Duo found a seat, the others silent observers. "You've been sending me letters?"

"Yep! Surprised?"

"How did you get this number?" Duo growled.

"Silly." It was a laugh. "Same way I find you."

"And HOW exactly do you find me?"

The person laughed again. "That would be telling, my love."

Duo stiffened, disgust screwing his face up. "I am NOT your love, get it?! I have no idea who you are, so leave me ALONE!!!" He slammed down the phone, then ran to his room gathering his belongings together and stuffing them into a bag. The others stood around the door with curiosity.

"We have a security leak here people!" Duo yelled. "Come on! We gotta get out of here!" Then he paused. "Or IS it one of you guys trying to mess with my head? I know the kind of things you guys can do and I wouldn't put this past you!"

Quatre stepped forward. "Put what past us Duo? You sure have been acting strange these last couple of weeks. Is there anything wrong?" Quatre's expression was so concerned and innocent. Duo burst out laughing.

"This is great! This is so great! Not only do we have a security breach that no one else seems remotely concerned about, but the 'me' behind the letters also turns out to be a GUY! Oh. MY. GOD!! Do you have any IDEA what this means?!" Duo was almost tearing his hair out at this point.

"What." Wu Fie supplied.

"It means that it was a HE who wrote all those letters! It's a HE! A GUY! This is just great. Female stalkers are bad enough, but a MALE one?! I think I'm going to be sick! To think I was kind of flattered!" He threw his head back. "AAAAGH! IT'S NOT FAIR!!!"

Heero looked down at the letter he was still holding. It was written in black pen on white paper. Non-descript hand writing. Neat enough to be a girls, but messy enough to be a boys. There was a scent on the paper. He brought it up to his face to smell it better.

"Men's cologne." He announced. Heads turned to him, still concentrating on the smell. Duo swore singularly. "smells like..." He sniffed. "Like... um? Something familiar. Like that expensive stuff Relena keeps on insisting on buying for me and I refuse to wear..." (Keep throwing it out. Horrid stuff.) "...Shinto toi."

Duo was now in his face. "I KNEW IT! IT was YOU who put him up to it!"

Heero shoved him to the ground with a push of his hand. "Don't be stupid. The stuff smells like rat piss with roses mixed in. As if I would wear THAT let alone write you a letter saying-" He looked and read, eyes widening and cheeks flushing. A small amused smile appeared on his lips. "Such explicit and detailed things! Hey get a load of THIS!" He began to read it out, much to Duo's horror. "'My dearest Duo, it has been mere moments since we last touched, and I long for you again as I do every time we finish making love...' Ha ha Duo! This one's got it bad."

"It's not true!" Duo cried. "I've never!"

"heh heh, not according to this." Heero continued to dramatically read out the most detailed descriptions that were written there, leaving the other pilots in various states of disgust, embarrassment, and amusement by the time he was finished. "You got any more of these?" Heero grinned. Duo let his arm point absently to the large pile of ex-scrunched up balls of paper on the floor.

"You know," Quatre suggested. "If the rest of those are even half as..." He searched for a word.

"Disgusting?"

"Erotic?"

"Descriptive" He decided. "as that one Heero just read, you could join them together and turn them into one of those trashy novels that sell for bucket loads."

"Gee, great, Quatre." Duo said, sarcasm dripping. "Let me think. Um? NO! I DO NOT want to be the focus of some psychotic guy's sexual fantasies! And I definitely don't want to earn..." He paused. "Make bucket loads you say?"

Quatre nodded emphatically. "I'm sure my sisters would love to read that kind of stuff. All twenty nine of them. And then there is the harem. And the market. Not to mentions all the rabid fan girls that like to run riot every now and them..."

"What about rabid fan boys?" Duo squeaked, visually shrinking back. "I don't want rabid fan boys! Rabid fan girls YES! Lots of them I can handle! The boys are more something up your alley Quatre!"

Quatre shrugged. "It's an open market out there you know. If the fan boys want you too, then they will get you."

Duo made a horrified sound.

"It was just an idea." Quatre patted his shoulder.

Heero and Wu Fie burst out in a mad fit of giggles. "' I just want to lick my way all over your... hhh-HOT... sweeeeeeaty body!' Ha ha ha ha!!!" Heero was almost rolling about on the floor.

"This person obviously has not been close enough to smell Maxwell after a fight!" Wu Fie snickered.

"Gee, that's a relief." Duo muttered.

"Wait wait wait!" Hero chortled. "You have GOT to read this one!" He handed it to the Chinese pilot who started another rout of hysterical laughter.

"'Your eyes dark with desire...'"

"'As I... As I...' I'm sorry I can't read it! Ha ha ha ha ha!!" Heero handed it back to Wu Fie.

"'As I SUCK your long... slender... FINGERS..." More laughter.

"Goodness." Quatre murmured.

"It's not funny." Duo snapped from the spot he had plonked himself down onto on the floor by the bed. (Black clouds gathered around his head.)

"Could have fooled me." WuFie said quietly.

"Stop it!" Duo yelled. "This is a serious problem! And it's not like I can just go down to the local police station and get a restraining order either!"

to be continued...