We appreciate your desire to address this situation with love and compassion. we admire your courage and concern. We wish that we could tell you that all ministers are, if not perfect, well on the way to it. Unfortunately, as you well know, that is not true. Ministers are like the rest of the congregation, people in the process of redemption. We would suggest the following for your consideration:

1) You're absolutely right that it is scriptural to go to someone when there is a problem. You can go "one on one" and talk to the minister; then if you don't get satisfaction, take a second, mutually trusted person with you the next time. This is the essence of Matthew 18:15 - 17. If you do decide to go see the minister (alone or with a mutually trusted person) remember to stick to the facts that you know, not the rumors or the things you might suspect but have no proof about. Also remember that Matthew 18 is talking about people going with a loving servantlike attitude. Be a seeker of truth, rather than one who goes to confirm a pre-judgement. Deal with facts, and be specific. Speak for yourself, not others.

2) Before you go, make sure you have your facts straight. Talk to the people you feel he has distorted information about. Be aware, however, that ministers often have confidential information that others don't; and that sometimes people won't discuss with other congregants what they've told the minister in confidence. If someone has spoken to the minister in confidence, the minister is not at liberty to reveal the details. This is a matter of trust. You would not want your minister to reveal anything you have told him in confidence. Other congregants have the same expectations.

3) Go confessionally. Remember, Christ told us to get the plank out of our own eye before trying to get the speck of sawdust out of another's eye. Be prepared to confess those times when you may have fallen short of all our Lord would have you to be. Never should our actions be seen as "Lording it Over" a brother or a sister.(See Matthew 20:20-28, Mark 10:42-45, Luke 22:25-27 and John 12:23-28.)

4) We commended you for your desire not to "shoot the minister." That would be a sure way to damage both the minister and the church. But, we can't help but wonder if something else might be going on. If your concerns are validated, are you aware of anything in the church or in the minister's life that might be contributing to a high level of stress? If so, is there some way you can be a source of encouragement and grace in this situation? Remember, when Christ sent the 12, and later the 72 out, he sent them two by two to preach, teach, and heal. Sometimes even ministers need a minister. Is there a way that you can be a source of healing in this situation? Are the minister and the church on your prayer list? (Remember, "the fervent prayer of a righteous [person] availeth much." Remember also, "blessed are the peacemakers.")

Please know that both you and your pastor will be in our thoughts and prayers as you continue to work with this situation. In an age where everything is disposable, it's a real temptation to treat people like that. Fortunately, God doesn't do that to us, and that is the model we need to follow when we're dealing with each other. It's not easy, but reconciliation is the ministry to which God calls all of us. And where God has called, God's grace is already at work.

May God bless and honor your loving concern.