From our email: I'm a seminary student with my first parish. How can I survive the demands of ministry?

My own solution has been to fall back on my family's "prarie pragmatism:" to tough it out and "go on in spite of perceived odds," but I know better than to think I can do that alone. In human terms, the odds against successful ministry are real and discouraging. But I am blessed... I am able to continue in this wonderful/crazy/stressful calling because God's comfort and encouragement take tangible form in my life. When I am discouraged, when I doubt my call to ministry, when I threaten to trade in my church for burger-flipping at McDonalds, my spouse picks me up, dusts me off, kisses away the fatigue and frustration and listens until I am able to return to the battle. I don't have the struggles that many other ministers have: young children, spouses who don't understand the demands of ministry, churches that don't understand how difficult it is to juggle the demands of ministry/parenthood/marriage/school/second job. Some ministers pay an incredible price to follow their calling...sometimes I don't know how they do it. What I do know is that everybody needs someone to incarnate grace for them. Nobody makes it alone, in the church or any other area of life. I often quote Ben Franklin's statement made just before the Declaration of Independence was signed: "If we don't hang together, we shall surely hang separately."

I don't have any suggestions that are new or groundbreaking, just the admonition to remember that Christ sent the disciples out two-by-two; and "a three-fold cord is not easily broken." Reach out to another pilgrim-in-ministry; help somebody else on the way; let them help you. Listen, share, support, encourage, challange, and above all, speak truth. Look for grace in strange places, expecially in interdenominational places. (I have a minister friend who always advised his younger Baptist ministers-in-training to get to know the Methodist minister in town. He said that the Methodists were good about allowing you to voice your frustrations and humanity. In my own life, I've found a wonderful mentor in a Presbyterian minister and inspiration in Roman Catholic women religious. They have an even harder time having their spiritual gifts recognized than the rest of us.)

I would also caution you to remember that God has preserved the Church for two thousand years. God will also preserve your church as well, even though it isn't your church at all. What this means is that it is all right to take a day off, to get away, to relax, to take time for re-creation. As a Christian, you are responsible for the stewardship of your body, as well as for your mental, physical and spiritual health. If you take care of yourself, you'll be better able to apply yourself to the challenges of ministry.

Some churches allow, even expect, their ministers to assume the responsibility for everything related to congregational life. Some ministers enjoy that feeling of control or being needed. This is an unhealthy trap. It fosters co-dependence and ministerial burn out, not congregational vitality. Your best protection against this is to establish and maintain firm personal boundaries. Learn to set limits and stick to them.

Finally, remember that it is, after all is said and done, God's church. It isn't all up to you. Remember, God's grace is sufficient to bring us all home safely.