January 22ND marked the anniversary of Roe V. Wade as the hunt
for the killer of the upstate abortion doctor continues. You can
expect a rash of columns debating this hot issue but what this
columnist will guarantee is that nothing I can possibly write
will change anybody's mind about abortion. Instead what I would
like to address is the underlying hypocrisy that inevitably
infiltrates the debate on both sides.
Labels such as pro-choice or pro-life do not accurately describe
the true feelings of the adherents of these positions. The
reality is that these labels only literally describe the
hard-liners on each side.
The most militant pro-choicers are for abortion-on-demand, up to
and including the ninth month, no questions asked. The most
fervent pro-lifers do not distinguish between an embryo, a fetus
or a baby. Rescuing a fetus from an abortion clinic is the same
as saving a toddler from a burning building.
But for that great middle ground in which most of us reside,
there are variant emotions that play havoc with our reasoning. We
tend to rationalize our decisions according to the situation at
hand rather then sticking to solid principles.
NARAL statistics claim that the majority of Americans consider
themselves pro choice. Yet, the majority of Americans are also
against partial-birth and late-term abortions. To actually
advocate a woman's right to control her own body one would have
to allow this choice for as long as the fetus is actually in her
body, even to the ninth month....in other words, abortion on
demand. There is no logic in the argument that after the second
trimester a woman's right to choose becomes moot and therefore we
can enact laws banning late term abortions. It is still her body
and if we believe she has control over her body then by all
rights this control should extend throughout her pregnancy.
Yet the image of a nine-month fetus being terminated is abhorrent
to many and they cannot accept it easily. The truth that they do
not wish to admit is that when a fetus looks like a fish or an
alien being, its termination is acceptable but when it looks like
a baby they become squeamish. Whether it is two weeks or nine
months, however, it is the exact same life with age being the
only defining factor.
At the other end of the spectrum, hypocrisy can be less subtle.
There have been reported cases of anti-abortion protesters who
have picketed angrily and shouted curses at clinic staff and then
turned around and sought their services when their teen daughters
became pregnant. How easy it is to condemn unplanned pregnancies
until they happen to one's own family. Then too, how on earth can
one call oneself pro-life and condone the murder of anyone
including abortion providers?
I happen to be a practicing Catholic, which means I have no
choice when it comes to the issue of abortion. It is a mortal
sin, period. I can, however, relate to the emotional turmoil a
woman undergoes when faced with an unplanned pregnancy.
Four months after giving birth to my third child, I found myself
pregnant again. I was still having nightmares about my previous
birth ordeal and here I found myself pregnant with my fourth
child and my oldest child was not even four years old. I was
totally devastated and would stand at the top of the stairs in my
home, wondering what would happen to my pregnancy if I threw
myself down. I prayed fervently for strength to get through the
day without doing something stupid.
That year my mother who had been my sole booster died and my
husband lost his job. It was the worst year of my life. Then my
daughter, Danielle, was born and believe it or not, she was just
what the doctor ordered. She was such a beautiful, delightful,
wonderful child that all I had to do was look at her and she lit
up my day. Thank God I had no choice because Danielle made it
possible for me to get through a very difficult time. But I still
remember the anguish and the challenge that this pregnancy
presented and I empathize with any woman facing this enormously
difficult decision.
A few weeks after the birth of my first child, my husband and I
were walking in downtown Manhattan with Evan sleeping in my arms.
A woman came up to us and was cooing and carrying on about how
adorable the baby was. Then she blurted out in a strange voice,
``I just had an abortion.'' That poor woman was in such emotional
pain that she looked haunted. I sincerely hope that these
abortion clinics provide some after procedure counseling because
abortion is a traumatizing event not simply a medical procedure.
This issue can also be a very polarizing topic. It divides family
and political parties but until we can cut through the miasma
surrounding our true feelings, we will never come to any
resolution. We need to ask ourselves blunt questions about our
genuine motives.
Ask yourself: Are you honestly for abortion because you care
about freedom of women's rights or because secretly you want that
option left open for you in case of emergency? If you are a male,
do you support abortion because it releases you from any
obligation to the woman or from the prospect of a shotgun
wedding? Do you believe that abortion cuts down the birth rate of
undesirables?
Are you anti-abortion because you cannot get pregnant and won't
have to face that choice or do you really believe in the sanctity
of all life? Do you feel more righteous than pro-choicers or will
you help in anyway possible to care for their unwanted children?
Would you be willing to care for a child even if that child is
severely handicapped? If your teenage daughter is raped and
becomes pregnant, what would you do?
Why are there more men picketing the clinics than women? Why is
it that some women who were once pro-choice change their mind
when they become pregnant? Is the fetus a baby only when it's
wanted? Can a society in which abortion has become a substitute
for birth control lead to a society where it becomes a required
instrument of population control, e.g. China's?
Can you even imagine a wanted child being forcibly ripped from a
womb because society demands it?
Until we can honestly debate the issue further dialogue on
abortion is a waste of time.