April’s FAQ’s
I get a lot of questions
via email, and I try to answer all the questions I can. I don’t always have
time, and because I travel for business frequently, I don’t always get to
answer everyone personally. But, I do try!
I do not date men! Never, ever!!!There is
nothing you can do or say to change my mind! I don’t need clothes, girdles,
corsets, and I probably have more money than you do! Please don’t ask!
I am interested in women,
and on the off chance that some lovely lady is interested in me, please write.
However, no pros please.
I do not have any naughty
pictures, and I don’t plan on taking any!
I just love big hair,
girdles, heavy makeup, stockings, all sorts of women's shoes, and sexy outfits.
I am over 39, and I’m not
saying more than that about my age!
I am just under 5’ 6” tall,
and heavier than I would like to be. But, I am currently on a diet. I can say
this with confidence on this page because I am always on a diet!
I wear a size 14 dress and
skirt, and a size 8 shoe (Honest!)
I own over 300 pairs of
stockings that I have never worn, and I don’t know how many more that I have
worn and lovingly cared for.
I have more than 70 open
bottom girdles in white, and over 50 longline bras in white. I have more than
25 open bottom girdles in black, and many in colors that I have dyed myself as
well. I have a comparable number of black and colored longline bras.
I have 17 front lacing
corsets, but I have sold all of my smaller BR Creations Corsets on Ebay. .
I love big hair, and at
this moment have 38 wigs, all with some sort of bouffant style.
I have an enormous costume
jewelry collection, with more than 40 chokers, 80 pairs of big, long dangling
earring, 50 necklaces, and 50 bracelets. I wear these even when they don’t
match my outfits ‘cause I like ‘em.
I have more than 80 pairs
of shoes, some with 5” heels. But lately I look for lower heels, and I am obessed with my shoes matching my outfits. I love mules, and have over 25 pairs of
these in my shoe collection, and I have a fair number of pairs of Daniel green slippers. .
Why do you do this? The huge
hair, the heavy makeup, the high heels.
The simple answer is that
it makes me happy! I admire the girls who strive to pass, and even more so when
they do, but at this point in my life this is not for me.
There were two women in my
young life that had a huge effect on me. The first was named April (hence….). I
first saw her walking down my street on a hot summer afternoon. It was well
over 90, but she had a massive teased hair do, platinum blond hair, heavy
makeup including lots of black eyeliner. She wore a white sleeveless blouse, a
black skirt, and black stockings with black slingback shoes. The heel of her
stockings showed quite clearly, and this really got me going, as pantyhose was
the rage at the time. I didn’t know where she lived, until one day I was
collecting for the newspaper, and she answered the door! She smelled amazing,
that wonderful combination of hairspray, makeup, and perfume. She gave me a big
tip as well. I would wait patiently for her to come home, and not try to
collect until I knew she would answer the door.
At 15 I took a job in a
local grocery store, and I continued to see April. She would get off the bus at
6, just when I was getting off work. Her hair changed constantly, some days
simply teased, other days in a massive updo with barrel curls. April wore the
first leather skirt I ever saw, she wore “Stripper’s” mules with wooden bottoms
and gold heels, she wore white “Keds” with black stockings….oh my she was so
sexy!
It was at the grocery store
that I met Margie. Margie was a redhead, and like April always had some massive
teased bouffant. She also had massive breasts, and wore incredibly short
skirts. She came in almost every day that I worked, getting cigarettes or
something. One day they both came in together, and I found that April actually
did Margie’s hair! I thought I would die.
Margie loved to flirt with
me, which was surprising as I was an unimpressive short 15 year old. She picked
me up once as I was walking home, and drove me home, her skirt riding up to
show the tops of her pantyhose.
Anyway, as you might
imagine this whole thing became something that affected me forever, thus the
heavy makeup, and the big hair.
OK April,
what about the girdles?
Hmmm, you got me. For a
while it was corset and waist cinches, and always stockings. At 30 I got
interested in girdles, and it’s been one of my many “things” ever since.
Fair enough, but can you explain this other “thing”
you have for feminine hygiene products?
Could you explain this?? I
doubt it. I can say that it started early as well. I like the old belted
sanitary napkins, which are getting harder to find. I simply love the process
of putting them on, or inserting a tampon. I love changing them even more, and
I have this whole process that I repeat where I take my napkin off, take my
tampon out, clean myself, dust with scented talc, spray with FDS, spray again
with perfume, insert a new tampon, and belt on a fresh napkin. I know its nuts,
but it’s me, evidently.
And enemas????
Ahhh enemas. I might do
this every day if not for the health concerns. At this writing I can handle
three quarts easily, and I am working towards 4 quarts. I have lots of great
equipment, , and my latest
favorite, a JBL Cascade bag that you sit on. I love to put this on a favorite
chair, in front of TV, and watch as I fill up. I once got engrossed in a
ballgame and actually forgot about it!
So, where do you get all this stuff!!!
You don’t think I am going
to tell you everything do you?? Pa—lease!!! However….
Girdles, Bras, Corsets
I am lucky to have a local
place that I found run by a lovely older woman who is cooler than cool. The
even do alterations. I have spent a fortune there, but I got some of my best
girdles and bras. I also got to Orchard Street whenever I am in NYC, where
there are 4 great shops. I have gotten quite friendly with one young Latino
woman in a shop there, and I call ahead. She always has 20+ things for me to
look at, and I always get 5 or 6, once I got 11.
Online there is Lyn Locke
Lingerie, and ShapeU, both really good. There is also the “Intimate Appeal”
catalog, and the Lane Bryant catalog.
Then there is Ebay, and if
you try to outbid me you’ll be sorry!
Seriously, this is a great source. I simply bid how much something is
worth to me the first time, and hope I win.
Panties
Well, I am lucky because I
just love Vanity Fair briefs, so I can get them anywhere. But, I have found
that both Saks and Nieman Marcus have great panties as well. For some reason I
don’t mind spending a lot of money on panties, and they hardly ever show under
my girdle.
Stockings
See my links for this, but
I get them mostly online now. I can tell you that The National catalog has
great RHT stockings very reasonable prices. I just have graduated to more
unusual things. The “Stockingirl” is my favorite, expensive but good stuff and she
stands behind it. Best legs on Ebay as well.
I get Pantyhose at
Bloomingdale’s. I like Donna Karan and Calvin Klein. I wear Calvin Klein
“Invisible Control tops” under everything.
Wigs
I am lucky to have a
stylist in NYC who does things for me, but she is busy with Broadway shows and
does not want any new customers.
I have also done very well
with “Vegas Girl Wigs online. (www.vegasgirlwigs.com) She also has things on
Ebay, search under “wiglady1”. Susan is the owner, and understands “big”.
There are two places in
Hollywood, “Hollywood Toy and Costume” and “Outfitters’, both with a block of
one another. I tend to go overboard out there for some reason.
Makeup
God how I love to buy
makeup. The first thing I will tell you is that there is a major difference
between the Health & beauty store brands and the department store brands.
Virtually every thing I have is major brands.
I like Mac for lipstick
and lip liner especially, Christian Dior eye shadows, Yves St Laurent for eye
shadow, lipstick and blush, and Lancôme for just about everything. I also get
quite a bit at a store called “Sephora”, sort of a makeup supermarket. I get
Urban Decay things there, as well as Lorac, who has some amazing blush colors.
Perfume
Like makeup, I buy the
best! My all-time favorite is Magic Noir from Lancôme, and I wear this most
often. I also have Channel No.5 Givenchy, etc etc. It won’t surprise you to
know that I wear too much, dabbing it on my ankles, my little “self”, my
wrists, behind my ears, and on my chest. Lately I have been using 5 different
perfumes for this, and I must reek!
Jewelry
Wow, I go to lots of
places for this. I found a place in London called Mini Diamond where I but lots
of things, and I have an “in” to get things wholesales here and there. Mostly,
though, I go to Antique stores or shows, and vintage clothing stores. My best
Chokers are from London, but my best earrings are from antique shows.
Clothing
Let’s see, have I said
“Lord & Taylor” enough on my site? Honestly, they have the best dresses,
and they also have a 12 or 14. They always have sales, and even if they don’t
there is always a range of prices. Bloomingdale’s has better stuff, but I never
can seem to find a 12 or 14.
I really don’t do the
Thrift store thing; I just cannot deal with the smell in those places.
I have gotten a ton of
good stuff recently at the Newport News catalog, and since Romans makes things
in my size I have gotten good things there as well.
Shoes
Go to NYC. Go to 8th
Street. Buy shoes! (Especially at “Stiletto”)
Ok, I also get things from
Fredericks, and on Ebay. I also have 5 pairs from Cover Girls of London.
How do you buy all this stuff, how do you know if it
fits?
I try it on, that’s how!
Ok, once again you have
heard me say this all over my site, but these people don’t think you are
getting a 44DD bra or size 12 shoes for your wife, they know who it’s for.
More than 15 years ago I
was at this shoe sale at a place called Building 19. This was salvage from a
fire in NYC, and the brands of shoes were amazing. I went, and there were
hundreds of crazy women, and why not, these $300 shoes were only $25 and $30.
There were signs everywhere that all sales were final and they had very few
shoes in size 8, my size, but literally hundreds of shoes in size 9. So, I said
the hell with it, and got like, 6 pairs. I sat down took off my sneakers and
socks. I had worn pantyhose under my jeans, because I had a feeling this would
be a moment of truth. The size 9 fit perfectly, and unless I tried it on, I
probably never would have bought anything. What’s more, the woman beside me
took one look at me, smiled and said, “That was smart, wearing stockings, and I
hate these little socks.” She even asked how I could walk in 5” heels.
From that moment on I try
things on whenever possible. I often call first, but in so many places the
staff has simply offered. I was at Lord & Taylor one Monday night, and I
had 4 dresses, all that were on sale and clearance. The store was empty (It was
snowing a bit). As I went to pay, the sales clerk that had once commented that
I had a “lucky wife”, said “It’s quiet, do you want to try those on?” I was
shocked, but said yes. She even ran and got me a smaller size when one of the
dresses was too big.
I always try shoes on, and
I almost always try foundations on. There is nothing like getting something to
small in NYC when I live 200 miles away. I went to a local store once called
Lady Grace, and they offered. Now I buy so much from this one 60 year old woman
that she saves things for me, and they have a picture of me behind the
register!
A few rules…..
Buy something! I can’t say this enough, if you don’t spend money
you’ll ruin it for all of us.
Be discrete. I have never asked to try on dresses again at Lord
& Taylor, I wait for her to ask me.
Call ahead. If there is a pair of shoes you really want, call the
shop, explain who you are and what you want,
Go at “off” times. I shop big store on Mondays and Tuesdays, small local
ones at Nine AM on Saturday. This is also a great time to shop for makeup.
Be proud, or at least
don’t be ashamed. Your money is just
as good as everyone else’s.
Who taught you to do your makeup? Can you give me a
few tips?
I get a lot of these
questions. Frankly, I taught myself. I have had two makeovers, but both were
when I was out a lot. I just look at old photos, or photos of makeup I like,
and experiment until I get it right. It’s a good idea to experiment on nights
you might not be dressing. I always fell more free to do wild things that I
later incorporate into my look.
I do recommend the book
“Making Faces” by Kevin Aucoyn. It’s really helpful