I know many of you girls are sports fans, and even if you are not, you have heard about Alex Rodriquez admitting to using performance enhancing drugs (Steroids).
For those not here in the US, Mr. Rodriquez is a baseball player with the highest salary is baseball.
With Mr. Rodriquez being a New York Yankee, and me being a lifelong Boston Red Sox fan, the Yankee’s archrivals, you’d think I would be thrilled
But sadly, this is not the case, because recent events have caused me to look seriously at myself, and I have decided it’s time to confess myself.
It is a shocking confession dear readers, so if you are faint of heart, don’t read any further
I, April Jane Larue, have been using hair enhancing substances. Yes it’s true, my big hair is not natural, I cheated just like Mr. Rodriquez. Wow the truth really does set you free doesn’t it?
Lot's of snow out that window
Like Mr. Rodriquez I felt the pressure to perform the pressure of my peers and fans. It was relentless
So I did it. I started with hairspray, then a teasing comb, then expert stylists, some form Latin America, then more hairspray, and curlers, and more hairspray, and bobby pins and pin curls, and more curlers and even more hairspray. I am out of control!!!! AAAHHHH!
But I am happy to report that last week I entered a rehab program for abuse of hair enhancing substances. Even today my hair is flat and boring. I will never, ever, sport big hair, ever again. I promise. NOT!!!!!!!
Am I as funny as I think I am? Probably not but I am laughing. Seriously though, I am so sick of all this doping them all the news about it. Enough please.
In fact I think Dolly Parton should become a new anchor and tell us not about the news, ‘cause its all bad these days. Instead it would be about her hair and wigs and such.
Kim Kardashian could do the sports, but she would have to stand backwards so we could see her butt and magnificent hair. Don’t get me wrong she has a great face too, but her butt is the real attraction. JLo could fill in for her.
Pamela Anderson could do the weather, but please don’t show us the maps, we don’t care!
Gwen Stefani, assisted by Christine Aguilera, could do entertainment, close-ups of make please
But all the reports would be about clothes, accessories, hair and makeup only. Now that is what I call “news”
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