The Academy of Arts and Imbecility

Gomer the Greek was also a fabulist (like Aesop). Only one of his fables has survived, and here it is. (Translated from the Linear B by Grobius Shortling)

The Lizard and the Turtle

Back in the balmy days of an ancient time, before there were any men or feathered things, two turtles were born. Like all young things they frolicked in the sun, until one day they found out that they had grown up and that the good times must end. "My sons," said their father, an old tortoise so fat and wrinkled that he could no longer pull his head into his shell; "my sons, the time has come for you to decide on the future. What are your plans?"

The first one to speak, for he was always the first one to speak, said, "Father, I want to travel to distant lands and see the world."

"Very well, my son," said the old tortoise after a doubting pause. "You have my blessing." Then he turned to his second son. "And you, my boy; are you going to do likewise?"

"No, Father," he said, "I shall go down to the swamp, for there I can observe nature and gain great knowledge."

And so the two turtles went off into the world, each his own separate way.

Many, many years passed, and the second son grew wise and old till he could grow to wiser and no older. He spent all his days nosing around in the swamp, and his reputation spread all over the country, for he was the wisest of all living things. Finally, when he had grown old and sluggish, he ceased his nosing around in the swamp; he knew all there was to know. So he crept slowly and painfully back to the old homestead. There he slept and ate and slept, saatisfied in all his wisdom.

One day there came an old and scarred lizard to the wise turtle who was so famous in the civilized world of those times.

"Hello, Brother," said the lizard, darting his peculiar tongue in and out.

It was indeed the old turtle's brother, who had travelled in distant lands and seen the world.

"I scarcely recognize you," said the turtle. "What have you done to yourself?"

"Brother," replied the lizard, "I have ventured far and wide and in many a different and distant land. In my travels I found my shell too cumbersome, so I have shed it and learned to walk fast, to jump, and climb rocks to see what lies beyond. But still I am not satisfied."

"You have done well for yourself," said the wise old turtle, "but why are you not satisfied? Do you miss the protection of your shell?" He stuck out his head to nibble at some tasty lettuce leaves.

"I have been throughout the world," said the lizard, "but one day, from the highest of the high mountains, I spied another world far across the sea -- too far to swim. Brother, I cannot rest until I have been there. You are the wisest of all creatures. Tell me how I might fly."

"Pooh, Brother," said the turtle, "are there no limits to your ambition? Look at me. Is it true that I am the wisest creature in all the world? Yet I found all there is to know in the swamp. Why do you seek to degrade yourself by emulating the verminous winged insects? Hummph, your mad desire to imitate the lower orders is a disgrace: why it would set evolution back for eons."

Just then a great eagle swooped down out of the sky from some world unknown. The lizard quickly scampered under a rock, and the old turtle retreated into his shell. And while the eagle hovered briefly to pick up the turtle, the lizard scrambled on to its back. He had solved his problem.

With a screech, the great bird flew off, grasping the poor old reptile in his talons.

"Good Gracious!" said the turtle to himself as he was being dropped from a great height onto a broad rock, "a new form of life!"

[If there is a moral to this story, Gomer did not provide it -- or it has been lost. --GS]

About Gomer the Greek