Position one is coded KRUG. When strolling or patrolling in the vicinity where a
d*g might be lurking, one must feign nonchalance and thus avoid suspicion by
keeping the ears in their normal position. This is the KRUG position, as
illustrated.
The instructions for SMS1 are as follows:
One must completely memorize the ear positions (semaphores) and their accompanying meanings and code words.
Position one is coded KRUG. When strolling or patrolling in the vicinity where a
d*g might be lurking, one must feign nonchalance and thus avoid suspicion by
keeping the ears in their normal position. This is the KRUG position, as
illustrated.
Position two is coded KROIG. When the d*g has been seen or scented, signal to
your fellow CAD members by bringing your ears closer together so that they are
standing vertically atop your head. (see illustration). This is the KROIG
position. If you find it difficult to master, your human can help by suddenly
and unexpectedly touching the hairs on the inside of your ears with the tips of
his/her index fingers, while shouting KROIG! The result is instantaneous.
Position three is coded KRIEG. This is the attack position, so do not send this
signal unless you mean business. Do not approach the enemy...let him approach
you. Assume a crouching stance and begin to emit a low, growling sound. If your
voice is sufficiently menacing the d*g will advance more slowly, giving you time
to steel your muscles and your will for the battle. As soon as the d*g is within
two or three feet from you, spring at him with a high-pitched cry, aiming at the
center of his nose, and swat forcefully with your left paw (unless you are right
pawed).
If the silly creature does not run away yipping after your first swipe, swat again very quickly with right, left, right paws , claws fully extended. By that time your fellow CAD members will have arrived and made mincemeat of the rest of the enemy brigade. A word of warning--when faced with furry large, dangerous-looking d*gs who do not seem likely to run from you, you must retreat. There will be other days, and other battles. Go home and sharpen your skills!
Commander Bitsy signing off fur now.
Ystib
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After memorizing the ear positions, their meanings and code names, candidates must attend SMS practice sessions. At classes there will be kitty instructors to help students learn the proper ear positions. Several humans will be employed to stretch the ears of cats whose ears are too small to form a purroper signal. A bit of gentle tugging stretched out over a period of weeks should do it! After completing the six-weeks course, SMS masters will test the student's ear positions, reflexes, and composure under field conditions. During this test assistants dressed as d*gs will attack students to check out their reactions times. Note: No real d*gs will be around during training! |