We caught up with Gwar on their tour bus before a show in 1996 and asked them a few questions. Hold onto your seat...this get's ugly.

1)"If you could shove anything up Rush Limbaugh, what would it be?"

We have several ideas...Bob Dole, Annie Lennox's Grammy ( we should've won that thing). That bloated sputtering ass deserves to be kicked in the head repeatedly by a squad of Ecuadorian soccer players. He'd be good eating though. He's a fat tub of shit and his ties suck.

2) "What would Earth have to do to get you to kill AC/DC?"

They got a formula, and they go with it baby! They're hard as a rock. We actually thought they just rereleased one of their old albums now. What's that new song, "Old as a rock"? If they'd just ask me, I'd resurrect Bonn Scott for them. Then they'd have talent again.

3) On being intimidated by Michael Jackson-

He's a known baby raper. He's not human at all, actually, he's a known alien. That's why he changes his color all the time. He's going to end up his true grey alien self. We'd love to gangbang Lisa Marie anytime though...and his chimp.

4) On their last album-

It was 14 tracks of mind melting carnage. Play it the first time, it will burn your house straight down into the ground. Second play, your mom will explode. Third play, gerbils will crawl out your ass. Fourth play, you'll start understanding the words. Fifth play you're dead.

5) "What part of the human flesh tastes best?"

The lips, the rump...no the taint skin. That of course is the nice piece of flesh between the ass and the genitals. Tastes great because it taint quite the ass and it taint quite the genitals. Nice and calloused...quite chewy, like human jerky.

4) On Microsoft's Halloween party last year, which featured Gwar-

We didn't meet Bill. He ran screaming to a huge room were he counted all of his money, then rolled around naked in thousand dollar bills. We didn't even get to play...we just sat there and scared people.

5) On violence on television-

Not enough on violence on television, and not enough people being violently killed with televisions. It's a big lie, an embarassment to the human race. All day long, you hear stories of Earth people's pathetic lives and those assanine sitcoms. TV should have nothing on other than images of my wart covered phallus penetrating major religious figures night and day.

6) On gun control-

Hitting your target is good. Gun's aren't Gwar, they're for pussies. You could have bazookas and tanks and they're no match for our rubber swords. We'll win everytime you scumdogs.

7) On the past year's election-

Sleazy P. Martini (Gwar's manager) should have won, but regarding the other two...you could run a pole up Bob Dole's hole for all we care. And we DON'T.

8) More thoughts on Bob Dole-

He's a known homosexual, and we're gonna kick his old ass.Candy assed baby raping old fuck. Can't believe they actually were thinking of putting him in the White House. I'd put him in there as my personal piss slob bucket boy. He's a weirdo, crippled old fuck.

9) On abortion-

We're one of the few bands who actually offers the public the service of performing abortions right on stage. Abort it now, or we'll kill it later.

10) Gwar's message to Earth-

Just wake up and realize, we're not gonna quit. All you people out there..."Gwar Gwar Gwar Gwar," gwy? We're not gonna stop. Just gwait. If you don't buy this album, you'll buy the next one, and soon you'll be kneeling before Oderus digging your own grave with the bridge of your own nose. How do you like THEM apples?