Click here to subscribe to Kim's Chuckle-A-Day for free!

May 27, 2000
For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

  1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
  2. A day without sunshine is like... night.
  3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
  9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
  10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  11. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
  12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
  13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
  14. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  15. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  17. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  18. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
  19. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
  20. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
  21. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  22. My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.
  23. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
  24. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
  25. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
    previous chuckle home next chuckle