August 14, 1998
Watch your Beak!
This fella has a friend going out of town for Thanksgiving and accepts the job of watching his parrot over the holiday. Problem is, this parrot swears like a sailor, and this guy is a quiet, conservative type. Before long, the bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. The guy finally snaps, grabs the bird, shakes him and yells, "QUIT IT!!!" This, of course, just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets angry and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush!

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you, old chap. I will do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on." The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. "So, by the way," the parrot says, looking nervously back towards the freezer, "what did the turkey do?"


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