I lived in NY for most of my life. Just like Berkeley is referred to as the disabled activist capital of the West, NY Is the disabled activist capital of the East. Anyway, if you have been to my website you know that I went to an ALL-disabled school from Pre-K through 5th grade. I was in the 2nd grade when inclusion started to become an issue in the disabled community. At first they just wanted to pull out all of the "really bright" kids who they felt could function. At the time, even though I fit into the "really bright" category, I was not really walking yet and required therapy every day, so they didn't bother pulling me out.

By the time I hit 3rd grade, they had decided that if you were doing school work at your grade level regardless of your physical needs, then you HAD to be mainstreamed completely. They started to try and force my mother at that point to pull me out. Physically, I had just started walking and I was in major emotional turmoil, definitely not ready to be pulled. My mom had to get letters from every doctor under the sun as well as a lawyer to have me kept in the school. We went through this all through 4th grade as well and when 5th grade came around, I felt I was ready to be pulled.

The middle school I entered was for gifted children and definitely a lot different, but I held my own. I was not "behind" in any academic way; in fact, I was way ahead in a lot of areas because of the extra individual attention that was provided. I even started school on my crutches, and with 800 kids in my grade, that was a HUGE accomplishment. So, yes, the "special school" was great for my development.

There is no way to really describe an inclusion or mainstreamed program. You are thrown into a class with 30 to 40 children who know nothing about you and depending on what grade we are talking, might never have had any exposure to the disabled. There is one teacher who nine times out of ten has been told not to worry, that the "the child's aide will take care of it," and not knowing how to act around the child, tries desperately to act as if everything is normal--which leads to one of two types of behavior: 1. The "I will pretend that the child isn't there and just go about my normal routine." (This behavior excludes the child completely and gives the other children the idea that something is wrong with the child.) or 2. The "I will buckle down to my job and try to be nice to the child" attitude. (Not knowing how to act, this behavior usually leads to overkill sweetness, e.g., in high-pitched tones, "How are you today, sweetie?" or "Let's a give a big welcome to Christina!" or "Hasn't Christina done a great job, class?") This behavior makes the child very conspicuous and that kills all aspects of a social life. The normal children may react in several different ways. The two I ran into most was the patronizing, "Let's treat her like an idiot and kill her with fake kindness" routine and the "What do you think you are, something special? Get out of my face!" rountine.

The truth is, soo much of your energy is wasted trying to move from class to class in 5 minutes, getting out your books and trying to learn something, that a social life becomes the last thing on your mind! The majority of the time, the child and the aide become their own little team against the world. The aide takes notes, helps the child move from class to class, helps in any hands-on classroom opportunities, sits with you at the back of the auditorium in the "wheelchair space" during assembly, holds your hand on the sidelines during field days, stays back and tries to cheer you up when you cannot go on the class field trip to Great Adventure, etc!! In short, my disabled friends and I developed GREAT relationships with our aides! It was a lot like we were in another school altogether from everybody else.

Now I know a lot of you are sitting there shaking your heads, saying, "Well, why didn't the school make adaptations so you could be included? Why did you not utilize your IEP to demand these things?? How insensitive of people!" Well, let me try to clarify. Say your child takes Biology or some sort of hands-on science. You have it put in their IEP that they be fully included in all hands-on experiments and group activities. The day comes to dissect frogs and you can't use the little tools to pull the guts out so the teacher has to stop the experiment and use a computer program that simulates dissection instead. Now yes, you get to learn and participate, but the kids hate you because they had been looking forward to frog dissection for weeks! Or the class was supposed to take a trip to Great Adventure, but you can't get on the rides, so they have to go see Titanic instead. Again, the kids hate you because rides are more fun and so YOU feel awful. Or they have bowling at field day and everyone has to wait in a very looong line while you roll a ball down your lap. Or your aide pushes you in a race and you win. Now the kids hate you because you made them wait and on top of it, you cheated in a race!! Or you have it put on the IEP that your child has to sit with the class during assembly. Now you block the aisle while you transfer into an auditorium chair, the teachers are pissed because they can't bring the kids in, the principal is pissed because her assembly is starting late, and the kids are pissed becase they have to climb over you to get to their seats. ALL of these instances make the child feel embarrassed, angry, fustrated, guilty, stupid, etc., etc., etc.!!!

I'm not saying this happens to everyone. In the younger grades, kids tend to be more accepting and I have had a few friends stick by me no matter what, but for the majority of my friends, this is what inclusion has been like. I am and they are very high functioning and considered the "ideal" mainstreaming candidates and still...maybe we are getting a "better, more normal education," but we pay a HUGE price for that. I couldn't imagine doing this and having any chance of functioning to the true definition of "mainstreamed" if I was any more disabled than I am.

So, my point is NO, mainstreaming or inclusion or whatever the term is is NOT for everyone! You can put ANYTHING on an IEP but there are MAJOR consequences. In your efforts to have your child included, look at HOW they are being included. In the end, your child is the one who has to live the life.